My wife lost her mother within the last year and has been getting more depressed and withdrawn daily. She says she has nothing but empty feelings for everyone. Even though she loves me she still feels this way. I have convinced her, actually given her an ultimatum to seek help. She still thinks that she will overcome on her own but she won't. Her biggest fear is that therapy won't help and she will never feel better. I hope I haven't made a mistake by forcing the issue of therapy but can't stand to see her so unhappy. She is the most important thing to me. Any feedback on this situation would be welcome.
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I need some advice
- Thread starter grok123
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VivDaGurl
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grok123 said:
First of all, I would like to welcome you to ChristianForums...
I'm so sorry for what had happened to your wife. I wouldn't agree with the idea of forcing her into the therapy as this will make her much more unhappy. She's experiencing grievancees right now and just let her cry whenever she wants to. How long has this been over? Show her your love and concern. Help her to get some things done and if you can, take her away for a holidays.
Another thing, if her mom had died out of a sudden and she wasn't there, a "proper goodbye" is normally helpful. Get her a piece of paper and pen to "write a letter" to her mom. Let her state everything she could on the piece of paper. Then, get an empty chair and let her "talk to the chair" as if her mom is there. This is what I've learnt in a counseling workshop.
Most importantly, pray for her and I will also be praying with you. You can PM me if you need anything...
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TheMainException
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Sounds to me like she really needs to go through the grieving process if she hasn't already. Maybe buying her a book on such a topic would be of some use? I pray that she might be able to lift herself from the pain welling up within her and look toward the living once more.
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mythrainbow
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It sounds like she does need help, but everyone's different and she may just need a support group, a friend to talk it out with, or maybe a therapist. I had a time of really bad depression a while ago, although mine was not over a death so her's may be entirely different. But I did not seek help for a long time, and still feel the affects of it. It controlled me and keeps trying to control me to this day, only when I turned to God was I pulled out. She needs help I can't say what kind as I don't know whats best, pray that God will show you the best way to help her.
I will pray for you and her as I'm sure many others here will.
May the Peace of Christ be with you.
I will pray for you and her as I'm sure many others here will.
May the Peace of Christ be with you.
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thanks to all who replied. Unfortunately I believe that it goes deeper than the grieving process. It has been almost 10 months and while it started out as grieving the depression aspect has really set in to the point where she is pushing everyone away and has stated that she needs me to move away with her to any other place. Her family is close by and she resents them now when they have all been tight knit in the past. She has taken two alone vacations in 10 months and we have taken two together. The positive effects are short lived
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perfection
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Only time can heal this pain, she needs some re-comforting words , that one day she will be reunited with her mother, and that her mother will always be in her heart.
Tell to her the following thing.
Tell her, i know you love your mother and miss her dearly,which she understands and up in heaven where she belongs she loves you completely. But do you think that your own mother would love to see her own daughter to stop living? To soar and moan and suffer in pain for the rest of your life? Of course not, she would love to see her daughter live, to be happy and continue with her life which is a gift from God, and God who is a God of the living wants her to complete her life journey which she should be proud of, she should start living for her mother and for God.
Something like that, Angels like her mother are often hindered in moving on in the life-hereafter because the sorrow of their loved ones who are still alive on earth draw them back and hinder their progress on moving on like they should.
That's why it's so important to understand that there is life after death.
Tell to her the following thing.
Tell her, i know you love your mother and miss her dearly,which she understands and up in heaven where she belongs she loves you completely. But do you think that your own mother would love to see her own daughter to stop living? To soar and moan and suffer in pain for the rest of your life? Of course not, she would love to see her daughter live, to be happy and continue with her life which is a gift from God, and God who is a God of the living wants her to complete her life journey which she should be proud of, she should start living for her mother and for God.
Something like that, Angels like her mother are often hindered in moving on in the life-hereafter because the sorrow of their loved ones who are still alive on earth draw them back and hinder their progress on moving on like they should.
That's why it's so important to understand that there is life after death.
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