I need help...

[My King and Lord]

Welcome my lovely brothers and sisters. So basically today in class we had to read this book by ourselves and it had a lot of violence. I couldn't concentrate on the work, I just kept thinking. First it was some devasting battles and sieges in history like the Battle of Kosovo or Siege of Malta. Then it went to brutal tortures and events that happened in world history. Like when Basil II blinded 15,000 captured Bulgars after the Battle of Kleidion. Or what the Ottomans did at the Siege of Otranto. Or the Japanese torture experiments during WWII. Then I just thought more and more. I thought of all the brutal videos I watched and how I enjoyed it. One where Russian soldiers break an ISIS terrorist bones with a hammar. Or what these Chechens did to a captured Russian soldier. Or what happened to the Nigerian guys leg. Or all the brains and mess that happened after a shot. I kept thinking and thinking and I was desperate to go online and see. I can stand gore like it's nothing and I usually enjoy it. I've seen some graphic stuff happening to animals in real life since one of my relatives lives in a village farm. I stopped watching graphic videos for a month now since I converted, but I have a strong temptation to go back. I can't even think of Jesus on the cross since that involves suffering. I wish I could tell my teacher, but she doesn't like me. It'll just turn into something big and I will have to bring up Christianity and I don't want anyone to know I am Christian. Plus I absolutely hate the class and the people in it are so mean and everything I do is funny to them. Infact anything I do at all is funny to people for whatever reason and I do normal stuff. I have to do this book for the rest of the week and just reading the details makes me want to go online and see suffering. Especially with what happened at Notre Dame, it just wants me to see gory videos even more. I am not even catholic, yet I still cried a bit yesterday at the destruction done. I don't like talking about it. The only thing stopping me is the consequence of sin, but I will have to finish the work and the temptation just keeps building up. I was supposed to do something today, yes actually do something in my life for once, but this thing stopped me. I don't have many friends in my life and the ones I do are far and don't see them thay much.

 

[soldier of christ...]

I don't want anyone to know I am Christian.

you should not be ashamed of being a christian. mark 8 :38 if you are ashamed of Christ then you are not really following him .that's all i can say to you. check yourself

 

[paul1149]

Just imagine those horrors happening to you. Would you like that? Jesus gave us the Golden Rule - do unto others... - and that forms the basis of conscience. He also said that what we affirm in our hearts we are guilty of, akin to as if we were actually doing it (Mat. 5).

For those reasons, you should fight the good fight of faith and not follow up on that type of material. Instead pray for purity of mind. And you should not deny the connection between your objections to the material and the testimony of Christ on which they rest.

Sometimes people in hostile cultures need to be wise about how much they say, but if that's the case at least don't be ashamed in your heart, and try to have an answer "seasoned with salt" that might make your hearers think more deeply. And if it ever really came down to it, you should be willing to give all for the testimony of Christ.

 

[My King and Lord]

you should not be ashamed of being a christian. mark 8 :38 if you are ashamed of Christ then you are not really following him .that's all i can say to you. check yourself

I am not ashamed I just don't want people do know. I do what I have to do. Prayer, reading the bible, and I will even fast soon, but if anyone I don't want to know finds out I am in big trouble,

 

[My King and Lord]

Just imagine those horrors happening to you. Would you like that? Jesus gave us the Golden Rule - do unto others... - and that forms the basis of conscience. He also said that what we affirm in our hearts we are guilty of, akin to as if we were actually doing it (Mat. 5).

For those reasons, you should fight the good fight of faith and not follow up on that type of material. Instead pray for purity of mind. And you should not deny the connection between your objections to the material and the testimony of Christ on which they rest.

Sometimes people in hostile cultures need to be wise about how much they say, but if that's the case at least don't be ashamed in your heart, and try to have an answer "seasoned with salt" that might make your hearers think more deeply. And if it ever really came down to it, you should be willing to give all for the testimony of Christ.

I mean, its way of life especially in those areas. Wars, violence, torture, destruction, its how the world works and if you look at history it shows that. I do feel bad for the innocent people, but what am I supposed to do? Many people find violence enjoyable since it's just human nature. It is human nature to be superior and to survive.

 

[crossnote]

Good illustrations of man's depravity.

 

[Joined2krist]

Things were worse before but now a bit better. Even in the Bible there are stories of believers being sawed in two because they didn't deny their faith. I wish you wouldn't stop hiding your faith, you should allow people know so that you can win some over by the good life you live. God bless