I need help

[leira]

..or advice.. or something.

I guess some background is in order.

I had a rough childhood.

Well - that's my usual glossed-over version. Physical, emotional, sexual -- it was ugly.

I put it all behind me. I got out at 18. Changed states, married a good man, have two grown children and a successful career.

And 7 years ago, tumbled. Tumbled way down a dark well of depression that I couldn't escape from, so I entered therapy. Found my way (after a couple months) to a trauma therapist, and she was amazing. Really good at helping me set boundaries and start picking myself up.

But it got to a point where she said ethically she thought she should refer me on -- she'd keep seeing me if I wanted, but she thought it was in my best interests to change therapists, and so I did two years ago.

Then he suggested adding in EMDR as an adjunct method because if I "checked out" of the room for certain topics he couldn't really help me with talk therapy alone, and some types of trauma require talk and some other kind of therapy whether it's EMDR or sensorimotor therapy.

So I did. And I see her every other week.

A long time ago I was on another set of forums which has kind of withered over time, but one thing was for sure... I was not anything like the conversations I saw where people talked about parts and had different names and identities and ages, etc.

I'm always just "me" -- now I would tell you I have different "moods" -- and those moods come with different typing styles, sure, and probably thought patterns... but it's still me; I don't lose time, etc.

Still.. I'm coming to realize there is... something.

Some set of voices, or distinct presences, and I feel like I'm going crazy.
Going backwards.

But maybe they've always been there, I just didn't have the kind of access I do now, especially with EMDR.

Or it's completely imagination run amuck.

How can you tell?

I still don't lose time. If a topic is hard I might check out a little, but I'm aware of checking out and still kind of hold onto things in a foggy, dreamy kind of way.

So dissociation, yeah, there's some.
But DID? No. Not really.
But parts? Ugh, maybe, sort of, yes.

And what does that mean?

And how on earth does anyone navigate the confusion?

 

[faroukfarouk]

The Psalms contain extremes of emotion: the highs, the lows, the struggles, above all, the Messianic content and the faith.

 

[rockytopva]

 

[Solomons Porch]

What is EMDR and could you explain? Also you said that you were now hearing voices, do you mind if I ask you what they are saying? If it is too personal you can PM and I would totally understand.

 

[Serving Zion]

..or advice.. or something.

I guess some background is in order.

I had a rough childhood.

Well - that's my usual glossed-over version. Physical, emotional, sexual -- it was ugly.

I put it all behind me. I got out at 18. Changed states, married a good man, have two grown children and a successful career.

And 7 years ago, tumbled. Tumbled way down a dark well of depression that I couldn't escape from, so I entered therapy. Found my way (after a couple months) to a trauma therapist, and she was amazing. Really good at helping me set boundaries and start picking myself up.

But it got to a point where she said ethically she thought she should refer me on -- she'd keep seeing me if I wanted, but she thought it was in my best interests to change therapists, and so I did two years ago.

Then he suggested adding in EMDR as an adjunct method because if I "checked out" of the room for certain topics he couldn't really help me with talk therapy alone, and some types of trauma require talk and some other kind of therapy whether it's EMDR or sensorimotor therapy.

So I did. And I see her every other week.

A long time ago I was on another set of forums which has kind of withered over time, but one thing was for sure... I was not anything like the conversations I saw where people talked about parts and had different names and identities and ages, etc.

I'm always just "me" -- now I would tell you I have different "moods" -- and those moods come with different typing styles, sure, and probably thought patterns... but it's still me; I don't lose time, etc.

Still.. I'm coming to realize there is... something.

Some set of voices, or distinct presences, and I feel like I'm going crazy.
Going backwards.

But maybe they've always been there, I just didn't have the kind of access I do now, especially with EMDR.

Or it's completely imagination run amuck.

How can you tell?

I still don't lose time. If a topic is hard I might check out a little, but I'm aware of checking out and still kind of hold onto things in a foggy, dreamy kind of way.

So dissociation, yeah, there's some.
But DID? No. Not really.
But parts? Ugh, maybe, sort of, yes.

And what does that mean?

And how on earth does anyone navigate the confusion?

Hi there liera! hey, I just want to say that I am excited to see you here, and to have read your introduction, .. how The Lord is really bringing you closer and closer to having the fullness of life .. bringing you towards being totally free from confusion, healed of past hurts, to have confidence in who you are and where your life is going.

.. and, you will soon be sharing your gifts with others to help them in the same ways!!

One thing that I think is the most helpful when we come to The Lord after having been so long away, is to really remember who He is. This is the one point at which people struggle to get close to Him, is being able to trust Him. Why? Because the world teaches us that the way to survive is to transact - to work a deal and to keep your word, etc. But with God, He just loves, and He does what is good for us because He loves us. Psalms 118 starts off by saying four times that His loving-commitment is everlasting, and then that is the very last verse too! .. So we remember who He was when we knew Him as a child. The good God, the one who made the flowers and the butterflies, the one we used to talk to constantly and say "thank you" to for everything throughout the day

Do you know where a child departs from this relationship with God? It is when we get some sense of independence, where we are not under the control of authority, and we learn that we can do whatever we please and then we can defy authority because they can't prove against us. That's why Jesus said "unless you turn around and become again as a child, you will never enter into the reign of the heavens". This is, to acknowledge that God is watching, and that we do need to not put our hand in the cookie jar unless we have asked first

But remember, He is a good good father!

What you are describing, is that you have some spark, maybe some smoulder, in your relationship with Him, but not yet quite at the stage where you can talk to Him daily and where you recognise Him when He speaks to you.

You know, Jesus said "My sheep listen to my voice. I know them and they follow me. A stranger's voice they flee from because they do not recognise it", and also He said "I will ask The Father and He will send to you another helper -- The Spirit of Truth, who will teach you all things and will remind you of what I have said. The world cannot receive Him because it doesn't know Him, but you know Him because you will see Him, and He will be in you".

.. Isn't this exciting? !! .. The Spirit of God living in us, to speak through us and to teach us all things!!

.. You mentioned that you hear voices, and that can be dangerous ground if you are not discerning the voice of The Lord. But, spiritual discernment is a gift (1 Corinthians 12:10). I would like to show you this page in the booklet that I share with people, that helps to explain spirits in a way that makes sense and doesn't seem crazy like some people make it out to be

Adonai Reigns : The Gospel : God did not send his son to condemn the world!

.. And, welcome to Christian Forums, thanks for being here!

 

[Johnnz]

From what you have written I am not sure either. So far no other 'part' seems to have appeared during quite a lot of therapy.

Thee are several possibilities, not all of which are usually touched on in conventional secular therapy. Or which even Christians may lack knowledge of.

Feel free to PM me if you want to follow up. I am familiar with DID, but also some of the inner spiritual factors that may be present.

John
NZ