I need help

[ConfusedJimmy]

Hi all, my name is James, I am married with 3 children, I am christian. I think I am gay.

Last week I got drunk and had sex with a man, the worst part is that it felt right, I enjoyed it and have this urge to keep doing it. I know it would destroy my family but it feels like it is the only way I will be happy.

I need help, what should I do? Ignore my feelings or be unhappy in my marriage, it seems like whatever I do I will be unhappy.


Jimmy.

 

[Catherineanne]

Hi all, my name is James, I am married with 3 children, I am christian. I think I am gay.

Last week I got drunk and had sex with a man, the worst part is that it felt right, I enjoyed it and have this urge to keep doing it. I know it would destroy my family but it feels like it is the only way I will be happy.

I need help, what should I do? Ignore my feelings or be unhappy in my marriage, it seems like whatever I do I will be unhappy.


Jimmy.

I suggest you talk to your minister. You need sensible spiritual advice, and you may not get it here; you will get a plethora of different opinions, some of which will be helpful, some of which will be destructive to your spiritual wellbeing.

Ignore the comments, therefore, and go to your minister or priest, ask his advice and listen only to him; that is what he is there for. If you don't have a minister, find one as soon as you can. If you are not sure how to do this, then PM me.

God be with you.

 

[ConfusedJimmy]

I want advice from real people, who could have been in my situation. I don't trust my minister to consider what is best for me.

 

[StormHawk]

Hi all, my name is James, I am married with 3 children, I am christian. ...

Receiving and drawing from the Holy Spirit will give you a new vision/focus, as it has been doing since the beginning (Acts 2). "Churches" have long since gone away from that experience, substituting a words-only "gospel" that transforms no-one, rather it makes people try to be something they are not, then feel guilty when they fail.

So please, read Acts 2, put yourself there, you will hear a very positive message. We have all done this.

 

[Chilaha]

Welcome to CF ConfusedJimmy.

I would suggest you pray that God will help you love your wife and not other men.

And, I know you don't want to but you should talk to a pastor about this.
People in your situation may encourage this behavior or give you secular and advice that is not Christian.

 

[[serious]]

Hi all, my name is James, I am married with 3 children, I am christian. I think I am gay.

Last week I got drunk and had sex with a man, the worst part is that it felt right, I enjoyed it and have this urge to keep doing it. I know it would destroy my family but it feels like it is the only way I will be happy.

I need help, what should I do? Ignore my feelings or be unhappy in my marriage, it seems like whatever I do I will be unhappy.


Jimmy.

How old are your children? Let's set aside the matter of homosexuality for a moment and look at it from this perspective:

Is it right to leave your spouse and children because you are more attracted to another person/are not attracted to them any more?

 

[raven1]

Pray to God to help you. We all have crosses to bare. I am in a very similar situation. I would rather live unhappy in my marriage then know I was continuously sinning.

 

[anonym00s]

Hi all, my name is James, I am married with 3 children, I am christian. I think I am gay.

Last week I got drunk and had sex with a man, the worst part is that it felt right, I enjoyed it and have this urge to keep doing it. I know it would destroy my family but it feels like it is the only way I will be happy.

I need help, what should I do? Ignore my feelings or be unhappy in my marriage, it seems like whatever I do I will be unhappy.


Jimmy.

Ignoring the completely selfish part about wanting to be happy at the expense of your family...

There is a THIRD option. It will take turning to the LORD and resisting temptation on your part, but it is well worth it.

You should do some introspective digging to see why in the world you would want to do this (what lie(s) are you believing?). Ask the LORD to reveal it to you, I am sure He will if ask and seek it. I have been tempted like you, so I am not a stranger to this issue.

 

[NightFire201]

Hey James, first let me say that just because you did some things with another man does NOT make you gay. We all make mistakes...doesn't mean that what you did was right though. Ask God to forgive you and seek His help.

 

[rockytopva]

Sometimes we have got to walk that lonesome road!

Schambach - Press Toward the Mark -Philippians 3:14 - YouTube

 

[Catherineanne]

I want advice from real people, who could have been in my situation. I don't trust my minister to consider what is best for me.

If you do not trust your minister to consider what is best for you, then you have the wrong minister.

Find one you can trust, and go to see him.

 

[scrambled]

The enemy finds our weaknesses and slowly tempts us toward them. You were tempted slowly... it didn't just happen one night. He put you in situations, showed you images, created small titillating moments. It started with a seed.
I'm not judging homosexuality, and I'm not going to comment on it. You have a family-- a wife and kids. This is your identity. You're a father and a husband. This is your stability in life, and it's the blessing God has bestowed upon you.
Cheating on your wife is wrong, and you need to stop. The attraction to men is a temptation and now, a challenge for you to resist. You need to put up barriers in your mind. Every time you see a man and have an attraction, realize it's the enemy putting working on your weakness. And, he will... with a vengeance now that he's got you. The enemy wants to destroy your life. Are you going to let him?