Right, but can you elaborate on what you mean in the post I quoted?
"What also really helped me was being respected by men and women. For some reason being respected and respecting myself was key to recovery. When I saw myself as up with other men in terms of respect it helped me alot. When I saw myself as much less of a man as them, I struggled."
Sorry, I didn't answer your question to me about that - wasn't sure if you were going to PM me.
I'll try to elaborate: Looking back in my past, there were alot of times where I was debased, disrepected, and such. I saw most women as disrepectful and dominating and was drawn to easy going men. I was disrepected and had no father to stand up for me and I did not quite know how to stand up for myself. Much of our American culture teaches us to "play nice" and generally avoid conforntation. Unfortunately that just teaches you to let people walk all over you. I think that because I was disrespected it kind of destroyed my self-image of me being a man. Furthermore, much of our culture teaches us that to be men we have to be overaggressive, rude, coarse, and disrepectful to others. Since I didn't want to act like that, it was like I couldn't be a man if I didn't do those things. I didn't really understand what being a man meant and no one really taught me. My dad wasn't around to teach me to be courteous, honorable, assertive, and generally a leader. I got alot of bad examples of being a man from our culture.
The notion that you are born gay or that you didn't choose it is a lie, but I see how people struggling with homosexuality come to that conclusion. I didn't ask for homosexual TEMPTATIONS to come over me, but I am responsible for what I think on and what I do. Jesus was tempted, yet never sinned.
Being asked if I was gay or anyone suggesting I was gay was like being kicked in the gut while I'm down. That is why I never ask/assume (somtimes I assume, but I NEVER VOICE that assumption to anyone) someone is gay unless they make it obvious themselves. It was degrading (perhaps insulting) just being asked.
The men who helped me overcome this are probably not even aware of how much they helped. They just spent time with me and made me feel worth something. They were relationships of MUTUAL RESPECT, the complete opposite of any homosexual relationship. When you have that bond with other men, the notion of homosexuality turns disgusting and you get a big aversion to it.
I notice that homosexual men DO NOT relate to me well. It's like they block me from having a real relationship with them and put something else in front of me (which would get tempting to accept since the alternative is usually zero relationship with them).
Relationships and bonds took TIME to form. There is no exact amount of time needed, it could be more or less. It is during this time that homosexuals tend to jump the gun and go into something they shouldn't because they don't want to wait for a real relationship to form - either because they are afraid of real relationships or have never really had one. Also, going quickly into something sexual with anyone also shows a lack of self-respect (back to the respect issue) and/or respect for the other person. Going into something sexual with the someone of the same sex at all is degrading. Not trying to be condemning at all, by the way.
To summarize:
Being respected as a man by men and women led to an aversion to homosexuality.
Being belittled, disrespected, by men and women led to being tempted by homosexuality. So did lacking self-respect.
I can go on into how God's Word helped me but I want to stop writing for now. Hope I answered your question - I am a bit tired while writing this.
