I Need help

[GodsPrincess22]

I am a christian i have been for a long time but i fell from the lord about a year and a ago ago for a yea because i was with a bad guy. he eneded up taking my virginity and making do a lot of things and changing who i was who was a girl all for Jesus. but now I'm out of that relationship and in a new one with a Christan man who also got back on his feet with God. and everything is going great but were struggling with sexual sin and i feel ashamed i don't understand why its so hard to just stop. does this make me a horrible person?
-Rock the world for Jesus

 

[God's_friend]

You're not a horrible person but a "normal" person. Sexual temptation and desire is normal and common for teens. But in your case because you've had sex before supposedly they say the temptation is harder for you. Try your best and work out something with this guy so you don't fall into the hands of temptation and give in. Remember you are supposed to flee.

Also don't be worried about your past and as Chrisians when we fall we are supposed to get up and our experience from falling should strengthen us. From what you wrote, you fell and you got back up on your feet. If you felt bad about losing your virginity then think twice before having sex again.

Lastly it's good you got a guy who is also getting up back on his feet hopefully you two can help each other out spiritually. But if things get out of hand, I think you should pull the plug on dating and focus more on God a bit.

If something's still bothering you just post and keep us informed.

God bless

 

[Rose of Eden]

Hi GodsPrincess!

No, of course you're not a horrible person! You're just a fallen, messed-up sinner like the rest of us! Haha!

I totally agree with God's_Friend. My advice to you would be to bring all of your feelings, confusion, and shame to Jesus and just stay in prayer about all of this. Flee from the temptation, as the Bible says. One trick that I consider helpful is the "don't play with fire" approach, where you don't even engage in activities that would make it more difficult for you to fight the temptation (such as heavy make-out sessions, for example). If you and your boyfriend are serious about fleeing from sexual temptation in your relationship, I'd recommend trying this if you haven't already. But I think you should definitely talk to your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you are feelings and pray together about it!

If you try everything and you're still having a real difficult time with sexual sin in your relationship, especially if it's to the point where it's taking Jesus out of focus, then I would recommend that you consider breaking off the relationship for the time being and take a break from dating for a while.

I hope that you can work everything out! I'll be praying for you! Feel free to PM me if you ever want someone to talk to about anything!

"In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:6

Best wishes and God Bless!
~RoseHannah

 

[GodsPrincess22]

well me and my boyfriend had a long talk as we are going to go on a break for a little while he is going to go home to LA and were going to keep a on the phone relationship. at least until we are ready for marriage. Thank you guys for your words of wisdom i will keep you informed of what happens

 

[mahlalie]

well me and my boyfriend had a long talk as we are going to go on a break for a little while he is going to go home to LA and were going to keep a on the phone relationship. at least until we are ready for marriage. Thank you guys for your words of wisdom i will keep you informed of what happens

I'm not a big fan of long distance relationships but wtg you. I like the "until we are ready for marriage" part. I do believe that was pretty much Paul's recommendation for dealing with lust: Get married.

 

[GodsPrincess22]

Well its not really that long of a distance where just not going to see each other for a little while. i need to get into my word and so does he.

 

[mahlalie]

It's still more or less a long distance relationship without the long distance if ya know what I mean. But yeah. Good for you.

 

[GodsPrincess22]

Yea i think that is what we need right now. i love him the lord knows i do he was there for me when i came to work beat up from my ex. we share the same fears both of our exs treated us terrible. but i think right now with me in school and him needing work we need time apart to let the lord work in our lives first. then when the lord sees it ready will come back together

 

[candleinacave911]

I think that is very wise to keep it like that if refraining from sexual sin is hard. Sexual sin is an addiction too just like anything else. I can very much relate to your situation. I was with a guy who continually pressured me to go further with him and that held me back from God. But I would encourage you that in this time that you are your boyfriend are apart to run after God with all that you have and seek after his will for your life. Your past mistakes do not define who you are, they are just road bumps along the way. Hang in there girl. I know you can do this.

 

[Shabby]

I'm not a big fan of long distance relationships but wtg you. I like the "until we are ready for marriage" part. I do believe that was pretty much Paul's recommendation for dealing with lust: Get married.

That's the worst recommendation for dealing with lust I have ever heard. A desire to have sex shouldn't play a role in determining when you marry.

 

[mahlalie]

That's the worst recommendation for dealing with lust I have ever heard. A desire to have sex shouldn't play a role in determining when you marry.

"But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

1 Cor 7:9 NASB

Talk to Paul.

 

[Shabby]

"But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

1 Cor 7:9 NASB

Talk to Paul.

I don't care to talk to misogynistic racists very often. But, I don't need to be very intelligent to conceive of "if you want to have sex, get married" as being a bad thing.

 

[Rikki_renee]

I think you are a very strong willed girl for making that decision. I went through a similar situation and I wish I would of had the courage that you had.