I need help

[Touma]

So my gal and I were dating for coming on close to two years. Before we dated, we had been good friends, and that was a basic foundation for our relationship(which is how it should be, right?). Well, we had to go into a long distance relationship where our visits were short and once or maybe twice a month. The big problem with our relationship was sexual sin. It was there from the beginning, and was there until very recently, when we both decided enough was enough and we took measure to stop the sin. Everything seemed to be going great...

And then she ended it with me on tuesday, sort of out of the blue. She's been praying for guidance from God, and to be her own person, not having to rely on anyone. I am proud of her for that. I want her to be independent enough and secure in Christ. TO me, that is a very attractive attribute in a woman. So, after my initial freak out, i calmed down and asked her if this was just a break, and then the killer came and she said "Tom, I don't think God will ever put us back together. Sometimes he has people together for just a season, and then moves them apart." Because of those words I have not slept, ate food, or drank much. I am physically ill, and am all shakey and messed up and what not.

I've prayed a lot over this. And I realize this was caused by our sin. And I do believe her when she said that God wanted her to break it off. I know her well enough to know that she wouldn't lie, and the fact that she is just as emotionally and physically ill as I am, shows to me that this is something destroying her inside.

My reason for posting this is this: While she has heard what she has heard from God, I have heard another thing from God. Before we even started dating, God pointed me towards her as the woman I was to marry. I am so convinced of this that I was recently looking at engagement rings for her. And even through the break up, I have been fighting with what God has said to me versus what he is saying to her. While the enemy is telling me to despair (almost to the point i want to just die), God keeps popping in giving me hope that we will be together in the long run. I have tried telling her this (because we are still talking, due to our good friendship) and she thinks I am trying to diminish what God is telling her.

For whatever reason, God keeps pointing me to Abraham and Isaac. Abraham (me and her) waited our whole life for the promise that God gave us (each other). But God tested Abraham's devotion by asking him to give up what he loved most. He did it out of obedience, but I am sure he was very reluctant and sorrowful. In the end God stepped in and saved the day, but only after Abraham completely had it in his mind that he had to lose his most precious gift.

This is what God has told me. Is it possible that the contradiction between what God has told us isn't a contradiction, but rather her not being able to see the full plan, like Abraham, in order for her devotion to Him be tested fully/

Or am I wishfully hoping? I know that God isn't the author of confusion, lies, or chaos. And I know none of you know God's thoughts. But I am simply throwing out my thoughts and seeing if they are legit.


Also, can someone give advice on how to handle a break up with a long term relationship?

Thanks,

 

[Luther073082]

Avoid contact with her and try to remove things that remind you of her.

BTW I personally am not a fan of anyone claiming that God told them to break up. Its just a pseudo Christian way of saying "I want to break up." but with the advantage of never having to explain yourself. "Why, I don't know, God just said so."

I really tire of Christians using the Lord's name in vain in order to defend them doing the things that they want to do.

What God told you is in the bible. Stick with that, let the Holy Spirit communicate with you using scripture.

The only time that I say the Holy Spirit spoke to me is when it meets the following criteria.

1. It agree's with or is a practical excersize of scripture. - (Mostly in loving people as I love myself.)
2. I am compelled to do something that I really don't want to do or something that is not in my own self interest.

There is no way I tell myself to do stuff outside of my own desires or self interest.

Anything in my self interest I presume its myself speaking and not God. Could it be God? I guess it could, but I'm not going to disrespect God by trying to pin my own stupid decisions on him.

When you make a decision saying "God told me to." and it turns out to be a stupid one then you not only make yourself look foolish, but you make God to look like a fool as well.

 

[Johnnz]

Your broken heart will mend. Even if God has spoken to both of you that does not annul a person's ability to do their own thing and make claims about their choices. Moving on seems the best thing to do now and trust God for his ongoing goodness towards you.

John
NZ