I Need Help!

[Theognome]

I've written several parodies for company events where I work, and I've just been asked for a whopper. They want me to write and perform a funny parody for our VP of sales birthday party next Friday. His name is Matt Hemmingway; he's a former Olympic high-jumper (he won the silver medal in the 2004 games), is 6'7", and has no perceptible sense of humour. Furthermore, they've requested that the song be heavy metal or hard rock. Does anyone know a fairly common song of either genre that has a title or major lyric that rhymes with Hemmingway?

Theognome

 

[peanutbutter12]

fannie mae rhymes with hemmingway. lol

 

[Theognome]

I'm not familiar with that song. Who performed it?
Theognome

 

[peanutbutter12]

Do you not watch the news? I was making a joke about the mortgage crisis.

 

[Theognome]

No, I don't. I try to do things more useful, like writing silly parodies. In fact, I came up with a version of the Beatles 'Eleanor Rigby' that might work. Here's how it goes...


Ah, look at all his employed people
Ah, look at all his employed people

Matthew Hemingway left Athens with an award that most folks would adore
In his sock drawer
Wound up in Denver, thought he looked like a gaunt version of Boris Karloff
They pawned him off

All his Employed people
Will they leave him alone?
All his employed people
Would just get on the phone…

Showed up in KC folks did their best not to stare or to point or to laugh
Dwarfs a giraffe
Look at him working. Closes his door with his music and desk that is bare
Is he all there?

All his Employed people
Will they leave him alone?
All his employed people
Would just get on the phone…

Matthew Hemingway today’s his birthday and that’s why we’re all standing here,
Where is the beer?
Now he’s in KC now he knows why we’re so different from where he has been
Air was too thin

All his Employed people
Will they leave him alone?
All his employed people
Would just get on the phone…

Theognome