I need help

[pixdogg]

I need help with God's forgiveness. I struggle with porn addiction. I look at it and when I'm done, I feel so guilty and disgusting, I run to God. But the very next day, I return to the same sin. Will God forgive me again and again, knowing that I willing return to the same sin? Also, sometimes I sin, saying to myself, "it's ok, God will forgvie me" Will God forgive me, knowing that I use His forgiveness for my own selfishness? I am so lost and hopeless right now, I don't know what to do

 

[Monergism]

I do not know about porn addiction, and the kind I've only seen weren't real. This, however, is not a problem that I struggle with. I struggle with masturbation. Now, I understand what you mean by commiting a sin and then feeling guilty and running back to God. I have struggled for at least two years. It's strange, I'd say, considering that I didn't have this problem before.

One of the things that disturbs me the most is that while sinning does not mean that we can lose our salvation, it makes us begin to wonder if we are truly saved in the first place. This is something I have a hard time with, because I begin to wonder if I am saved. I have had many doubts, and even came to the point of saying that I am unworthy to even call myself a "Christian," a "child of God."

I've been angry with myself. I've cried over the fact that I was unsure if I even loved God. I said to myself, "If I loved God, I would not sin." I know that God calls us to repentance. My failure to do so has made me wonder if God was angry with me. I've also wondered recently if God even hears my prayers, because why would a holy God even listen to the prayers of the wicked? He didn't before. What would make Him change all of a sudden? Because of this, as well as cussing (which is recent also), I have great doubts that I am even entering the kingdom of heaven.

I'm sorry that I cannot help you here. All I can say is that we need to learn to mortify the flesh, live in submission to God's will and repent of our sins. Let us not rent our clothes, but our hearts and cleanse our hands.

 

[leftBrainer]

pixdogg... your struggle with porn addiction... you struggle to accept God's ever loving ever selfless forgiveness, your hopelessness...

I FELT THE SAME TOO!! WOW!! how similar are the people who struggle here. And I use to felt so alone facing these things.

please, you're not selfish. Jesus did it out of LOVE, He wants you to be saved, no matter how many times you let him down(think I'm like 20th to 30th time). And everyday you live in purity brings so so so much joy to Him.

then again... there's this site that helped me(I'm struggling with masturbation) www.settingcaptivesfree.com

choose the course you think suitable. I'm taking the purity challenge, really worked out. I'm seeing my salvation nearing every day. My progress is recorded in this thread: Under Research: The Remedy for Masturbation!

bear in mind you're in my prayers. PM me!!

 

[leftBrainer]

pixdogg... your struggle with porn addiction... you struggle to accept God's ever loving ever selfless forgiveness, your hopelessness...

I FELT THE SAME TOO!! WOW!! how similar are the people who struggle here. And I use to felt so alone facing these things.

please, you're not selfish. Jesus did it out of LOVE, He wants you to be saved, no matter how many times you let him down(think I'm like 20th to 30th time). And everyday you live in purity brings so so so much joy to Him.

then again... there's this site that helped me(I'm struggling with masturbation) www.settingcaptivesfree.com

choose the course you think suitable. I'm taking the purity challenge, really worked out. I'm seeing my salvation nearing every day. My progress is recorded in this thread: Under Research: The Remedy for Masturbation!

bear in mind you're in my prayers. PM me!!

 

[leftBrainer]

I do not know about porn addiction, and the kind I've only seen weren't real. This, however, is not a problem that I struggle with. I struggle with masturbation. Now, I understand what you mean by commiting a sin and then feeling guilty and running back to God. I have struggled for at least two years. It's strange, I'd say, considering that I didn't have this problem before.

One of the things that disturbs me the most is that while sinning does not mean that we can lose our salvation, it makes us begin to wonder if we are truly saved in the first place. This is something I have a hard time with, because I begin to wonder if I am saved. I have had many doubts, and even came to the point of saying that I am unworthy to even call myself a "Christian," a "child of God."

I've been angry with myself. I've cried over the fact that I was unsure if I even loved God. I said to myself, "If I loved God, I would not sin." I know that God calls us to repentance. My failure to do so has made me wonder if God was angry with me. I've also wondered recently if God even hears my prayers, because why would a holy God even listen to the prayers of the wicked? He didn't before. What would make Him change all of a sudden? Because of this, as well as cussing (which is recent also), I have great doubts that I am even entering the kingdom of heaven.

I'm sorry that I cannot help you here. All I can say is that we need to learn to mortify the flesh, live in submission to God's will and repent of our sins. Let us not rent our clothes, but our hearts and cleanse our hands.

masturbation... that was the darkest secret I kept in my heart. Truely was the hardest temptation I've ever been through in my life

You think God was mad at you when you touch? Same to me too actually. I always ask these questions:

God are you there? Where are you? I'm so lost!
Do you still Love me?
would you still forgive me?
why do I feel this way? why do I suffer like this? Why am I the only one suffering this?!
this feels like forever! Will it ever end? How is my salvation found? why me?
Please help me Lord... I just couldn't control myself... I tried everything! nothing worked! it's so pointless(pointless pointless POINTLESS!!)... I'm failing each time I tried...

I also felt the guilt too, even until now I can still remember the first time it happend. That feeling in my heart, God it's just awful, so unclean... sinner, sinner...

sometimes I also ask myself: why should I keep feeling this way? there's no way I could win anymore! I've lost. Sorry Lord. Goodbye.

Looking back, I realise those were my most silliest words I ever said in my life. IT'S WORTH IT. FOR JESUS IT'S WORTH IT.