I am seeing this girl right now and she wants to go a little bit further then i wanna go... (IF YAW'LL KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING BOUT) but ne way.. I don't know how to tell her that i want to wait till i get married.. i am scared that she won't want to got with me if i tell her no. So what i should i do.. I need help-
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I need help
- Thread starter rayzor
- Start date
I am seeing this girl right now and she wants to go a little bit further then i wanna go... (IF YAW'LL KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING BOUT) but ne way.. I don't know how to tell her that i want to wait till i get married.. i am scared that she won't want to got with me if i tell her no. So what i should i do.. I need helpwildthing
Legend
pray and have some of your most trusted friend pray too. But you already know the answer is. no. You need to wait. Give her the reason why you won't. If she gives you a hard time and leaves you it might be for the best.
Someone in another thread said If you seek an answer, seek God first. This is the most sound advice I every heard.
Someone in another thread said If you seek an answer, seek God first. This is the most sound advice I every heard.
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kelco
Rev. Kelco
Hey Rayzor! It's really hard telling someone that you want to waitand sometimes when you do they do leave. I'm with wildthing, if she can't accept the fact that you want to keep celebate until marrige then she's probably not the right person for you. God has a funny way of wanting to be first in our lives and when He is then often times things work out better than ever! Keep firm in your beliefs!
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zay
praise Him for your testimony!
Well razor, what I'd do is explain to her that I'd rather wait until I'm married to go that far in a relationship, and why I felt that way. If she really cares about you, I think that she should accept how you feel. In my opinion, you don't force or pressure someone that you love and care about to do something that they don't want to do. If she can't accept or respect that, then I don't think it's in your or her best interest to go forward with things. But like wildthing said, pray about it and follow what God gives you and what He leads you to do. Hope everything works out for you both.
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Tell her you are a Christian man of moral principles! 
Galatians 5:16-18 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
Galatians 6:7-8 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God...
James 1:13-15 Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
Matthew 6:13 And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
Galatians 5:16-18 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
Galatians 6:7-8 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God...
James 1:13-15 Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
Matthew 6:13 And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
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rayzor, it sounds like you've already been given some great advice in terms of telling her how you really feel and trusting in God first. I wanted to add a verse to HumbleBee's list:
Ephesians 5:3
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
and here's a couple verses I keep in mind when I think about the qualities I'm looking for in a woman:
Proverbs 11:22
Like a gold ring in a pig's snout
is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.
Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Ephesians 5:3
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
and here's a couple verses I keep in mind when I think about the qualities I'm looking for in a woman:
Proverbs 11:22
Like a gold ring in a pig's snout
is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.
Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
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Macrina
Macrinator
Well, ditto to what has already been said. Explain to her your religions convictions, and talk with her about them. If she shares them, why does she want to behave in this way? If she doesn't, then why not? And can she respect yours?
The primary reason why I believe in trying to maintain purity in these situations is to please God, pure and simple. But a secondary reason, and one I think is important to talk about, is the idea of respect. One, you are respecting yourself by not using your body in this way. Additionally, you are respecting her by honoring her body -- by not going any further, you are recognizing that she has something special to share (just like you do) that is worth being placed only in the context of the marriage relationship. Ask her to respect herself and realize that she is treasured and desirable without engaging in those activities, and that what she has is worth keeping until marriage. Also... ask her to respect YOU and your decisions. Put it in those terms, say that this is something that is very important to you and you would like her to respect that. As others have said, if she's the right one, she will.
I'd like to commend you for wrestling with this issue, for drawing the line, and for protecting your own purity.
The primary reason why I believe in trying to maintain purity in these situations is to please God, pure and simple. But a secondary reason, and one I think is important to talk about, is the idea of respect. One, you are respecting yourself by not using your body in this way. Additionally, you are respecting her by honoring her body -- by not going any further, you are recognizing that she has something special to share (just like you do) that is worth being placed only in the context of the marriage relationship. Ask her to respect herself and realize that she is treasured and desirable without engaging in those activities, and that what she has is worth keeping until marriage. Also... ask her to respect YOU and your decisions. Put it in those terms, say that this is something that is very important to you and you would like her to respect that. As others have said, if she's the right one, she will.
I'd like to commend you for wrestling with this issue, for drawing the line, and for protecting your own purity.
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Romans 12:1-2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
1 Timothy 4:11-12 Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
2 Timothy 2:20-22 In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
1 John 3:1-3 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in Him purifies Himself, just as He is pure.
1 Timothy 4:11-12 Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
2 Timothy 2:20-22 In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
1 John 3:1-3 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in Him purifies Himself, just as He is pure.
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You should just tell her that your not ready and you want to wait until marriage.
If she truely loves you she will respect your wishes.
If she truely loves you she will respect your wishes.
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hey guys thanks for all the advice... She broke up with me because i told he no bout the whole sex thing.... But then the way i see it if she could understand where i was i coming from then i really dont need her... thanks again yaw'll and keep me in yaw'll prayers
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fluffy_rainbow
I've Got a Secret ;-)
God bless you, my brother in Christ. I know it's hard. Break-ups are never easy, even when it's the right thing. Perhaps God removed her from your life for more than one reason. Obviously she presented a great temptation and may have worn your resolve down over time causing you to stumble. Also, God may have someone else in store for you in the future...a godly woman who will be just as devoted to remaining sexually pure as you are. God bless you for your faithfulness.
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From what you have said the "TEST" was from God. And your are and will be blessed for waiting. Even though it might be painful to wait, it surely will be worth it in the end.
As Christian we sometime forget that we are all testing in someways. In using this case you could see there could have been two type of test given. So, be sharp and wise to these test they can fool us at times.
First, any girl could be a test for you, from God. To see if you want a Christian relationship with this woman or just gave your biological desire fulfilled. The answer is to tell her that you are waiting until marriage.
Or second, any girlfriend could be testing you herself. In this test, your girlfriend want to know if your a true Christian man, or just a guy wanting to get what he can out of her. In this case, you should stand up and tell her that you respect her and her body to the point of waiting for marriage.
In both cases, The Truth is the best policy Always.
As Christian we sometime forget that we are all testing in someways. In using this case you could see there could have been two type of test given. So, be sharp and wise to these test they can fool us at times.
First, any girl could be a test for you, from God. To see if you want a Christian relationship with this woman or just gave your biological desire fulfilled. The answer is to tell her that you are waiting until marriage.
Or second, any girlfriend could be testing you herself. In this test, your girlfriend want to know if your a true Christian man, or just a guy wanting to get what he can out of her. In this case, you should stand up and tell her that you respect her and her body to the point of waiting for marriage.
In both cases, The Truth is the best policy Always.
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Tell her that you're waiting until you get married. If she has a problem with that and won't go out with you, then don't go out with her. Anyone who would refuse to date you because you won't have sex with them isn't worth dating in the first place.rayzor said:
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Praise God for helping you with that temptation. The Lord will honor you for having stood your ground for Him. Great job, bro....
If she couldn't honor your wishes, she's not worth being with. You deserve a woman....Proverbs 31:10-31 type of woman is what you deserve; no less....
If she couldn't honor your wishes, she's not worth being with. You deserve a woman....Proverbs 31:10-31 type of woman is what you deserve; no less....
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zay
praise Him for your testimony!
Great job rayzor, like others said it may have been hard, but it was for the best. Hopefully one day she'll look at what you did and be inspired by it, and turn her life to God. Congratulations on your victory over temptation, I'll keep praying for you man.
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Spicy McHaggis
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hey guys... at first she broke up with me but then bout 4 days ago she called me and told me she wanted to sit down and talk bout everything... So i agreed to have dinner with her and talk... so we did... She said" after thinking bout everthing that you said i have decided to respect ur wishes" So i told her i will go out with her if she agrees to go slow because i dont wanna get hurt anymore... And i know it has only been 4 days it is going pretty will.. But still keep me and her in ur praiers
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