My almost girlfriend just broke up with me...Its a complicated situation... but we were both falling in love with each other, and she knows its not the right time. I know that it probably isn't the right time either for us to have a relationship but it is so unbelievably hard to face the facts. She has been going through some really hard times and I was there to help her... I can't do that anymore and it scares me... I want her to be ok so bad and I wont know if she is anymore because we are cutting off contact... I always wanted to be there for her and now I can't... I miss her so much and don't know how to cope with it... I am constantly praying and I know things will get better but it seems as though I almost have lost my motivation to live... I am an emotional wreck... I am becoming depressed and need help so bad right now.
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I need help so bad
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miss-a
Newbie
Cry out to God. Tell Him the whole thing, all your feelings and fears. Sure He knows it all already, but He loves you and knows you need to get it off your heart. Ask for wisdom, guidance, comfort, healing and most importantly His will for you both. He's there with you right now catching every tear in a bottle. "For I the Lord your God will hold your right hand, saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you." Is 41:13.
I'm praying for you, A
I'm praying for you, A
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childofGod31
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You are a very very precious child of God. And He hurts whenever one of His children hurts. Just talk to Him. He is your shoulder to cry on.
And keep praying too, like you are doing. If she loves God, she is His precious child too and He is able to take care of her.
Another thing that might help is to focus your attention on getting closer to God. You probably won't believe this, but He is going through similar things you are going through. He is in love with each of His chosen souls. And sometimes they don't seek Him and cut off contact with Him, and besides being hurt by being left alone (like you are), He also hurts that He can't help them as much as He would be able to if they relied on Him.
So because of your situation, you can feel at least a tiny bit of what God feels. Because we are His Bride. And the love of His life. And we keep leaving Him all by Himself all the time...
So if your soul does not long for Him yet, as your heart longs for this girl, that means you are doing the same thing to God (that the girl is doing to you). So it's not too late to change that. You were created to love God and to be loved by Him. Your soul will ony be truly satisfied if you find this deep relationship with Him.
Here is an article I posted about our relationship with the Lover of our Soul. If you read in Psalms, how David longed for God, how he loved God, how he longed to be with God...that's the goal of each soul and that's when each soul will be truly happy - when it reaches that love relationship with its Maker.
http://www.christianforums.com/t7397340/
And keep praying too, like you are doing. If she loves God, she is His precious child too and He is able to take care of her.
Another thing that might help is to focus your attention on getting closer to God. You probably won't believe this, but He is going through similar things you are going through. He is in love with each of His chosen souls. And sometimes they don't seek Him and cut off contact with Him, and besides being hurt by being left alone (like you are), He also hurts that He can't help them as much as He would be able to if they relied on Him.
So because of your situation, you can feel at least a tiny bit of what God feels. Because we are His Bride. And the love of His life. And we keep leaving Him all by Himself all the time...
So if your soul does not long for Him yet, as your heart longs for this girl, that means you are doing the same thing to God (that the girl is doing to you). So it's not too late to change that. You were created to love God and to be loved by Him. Your soul will ony be truly satisfied if you find this deep relationship with Him.
Here is an article I posted about our relationship with the Lover of our Soul. If you read in Psalms, how David longed for God, how he loved God, how he longed to be with God...that's the goal of each soul and that's when each soul will be truly happy - when it reaches that love relationship with its Maker.
http://www.christianforums.com/t7397340/
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"My almost girlfriend just broke up with me...Its a complicated situation... but we were both falling in love with each other, and she knows its not the right time. I know that it probably isn't the right time either for us to have a relationship but it is so unbelievably hard to face the facts. She has been going through some really hard times and I was there to help her... I can't do that anymore and it scares me... I want her to be ok so bad and I wont know if she is anymore because we are cutting off contact... I always wanted to be there for her and now I can't... I miss her so much and don't know how to cope with it... I am constantly praying and I know things will get better but it seems as though I almost have lost my motivation to live... I am an emotional wreck... I am becoming depressed and need help so bad right now."
If you really do mean what you wrote then you need to share this with her. Sounds like you need to have a heart to heart visit with her. If she loves or cares for you she should be more than willing to listen and to be open with your concerns you have for her with a mutual understanding. That would probably be a big turn on by showing her how much you really care for her!
If you were both falling in love with each other I'm sure you can work it out.
You sound like a wonderful caring person.
If you really do mean what you wrote then you need to share this with her. Sounds like you need to have a heart to heart visit with her. If she loves or cares for you she should be more than willing to listen and to be open with your concerns you have for her with a mutual understanding. That would probably be a big turn on by showing her how much you really care for her!
If you were both falling in love with each other I'm sure you can work it out.
You sound like a wonderful caring person.
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"My almost girlfriend just broke up with me...Its a complicated situation... but we were both falling in love with each other, and she knows its not the right time. I know that it probably isn't the right time either for us to have a relationship but it is so unbelievably hard to face the facts. She has been going through some really hard times and I was there to help her... I can't do that anymore and it scares me... I want her to be ok so bad and I wont know if she is anymore because we are cutting off contact... I always wanted to be there for her and now I can't... I miss her so much and don't know how to cope with it... I am constantly praying and I know things will get better but it seems as though I almost have lost my motivation to live... I am an emotional wreck... I am becoming depressed and need help so bad right now."
If you really do mean what you wrote then you need to share this with her. Sounds like you need to have a heart to heart visit with her. If she loves or cares for you she should be more than willing to listen and to be open with your concerns you have for her with a mutual understanding. That would probably be a big turn on by showing her how much you really care for her!
If you were both falling in love with each other I'm sure you can work it out.
You sound like a wonderful caring person.
She does care for me a lot... but she is just out of a long abusive relationship... I was there when she got out of it and helped her through lots of problems... but she is still in love with that guy even though he was abusive... She is trying to figure out her life right now and doesn't want me to have to deal with that stuff I guess... She knows how much I care and that I want to help her but she feels like she needs to get through that stuff by herself I guess.
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LauraLu
Regular Member
She probably does need to get through it by herself. And that's okay... she will come out a stronger person. Often times, when people get out of a relationship, they will jump right into another one to fill the emptiness in their heart. This is often not healthy. This situation won't last forever. She knows how much you care, and when she has sorted through everything, I'm sure you two can go back to being friends if nothing else.
I know how painful this kind of thing is (speaking from experience, here!
) Just know that this very well may be the right thing for her, and if you really do love her, you will let her heal in her own way and her own time.In the meantime, bury yourself in God's word and he will give you peace. Even if you don't feel like dealing with people or going out, try to make plans and be sociable. Those are the only things that truly distract me when I'm going through a rough depressive time like this. It's not the end of the world... this too shall pass
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Your young, have fun, just wait to your married 30 years, Then you will look back at this time in your life and say, I wanna go back in time.
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98cwitr
Lord forgive me
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your almost girlfriend...what is that? Is it "we" that is cutting off contact or "I." How do you know she was falling for you? How long have you known this girl?
sounds like she needed a friend and you want more than that. Let's be real here....
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Her past is intruding into the present. She probably fears relationship and commitment. She will need some help to get through that and probably other issues as well. You genuinely love her and deeply fear that the one you love will make bad choices and not be really happy. That is agonising indeed.
What resources do you both have to get her to someone who can help her unravel her own hurts and fears?
John
NZ
What resources do you both have to get her to someone who can help her unravel her own hurts and fears?
John
NZ
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Have fun??? This has probably been the hardest thing that has ever happened to me... I genuinely cared for this girl on an incredibly intense level... to the point of were it probably wasn't healthy for me. I would die for her in a second. I was really falling in love with her and I felt like she could have been the "one"... I don't think I will ever want to come back to this time. I don't know if I have ever cried this much in my life... It is extremely depressing to me.
"Almost girlfriend" means that we both liked and cared for each other as a boyfriend and girlfriend would. We were infatuated with each other and talked for hours upon hours every single day... we were holding off on dating because we knew that it wasn't the right time but we were planning on courting each other in the near future. She was actually the one that suggested a courtship style relationship. I have known her for about 8 or 9 years but we didn't start to really really get to know each other til just a couple months ago.
She did need a friend... I was a very good friend that helped her get through a lot of really bad stuff. I created a special bond with her. she found a confident in me and we created something that I have never felt or had with anyone else before. I cared for her more than anything else in the world... she showed the same type of care for me.
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I've already tried to tell her that she needs to get some help from other people besides me... She tried before then but felt like she was being judged for what she did wrong in the past... This stopped her from seeking real help again and I became her main source of help. I think she is trying to get through all of this by herself and I am afraid that she won't be able to... Actually I think there is a good chance she won't be able to, at least in the sense of making choices that will keep her from losing her relationship with Christ.
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98cwitr
Lord forgive me
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then I have to ask, why are you two no longer on speaking terms?
You say that you would die for her, but then turn right around and imply that you're not truly in love with her yet...I'm seeing romantic infatuation written all over this. You even admit that it was not a healthy ordeal for you. Maybe God is trying to protect you...and protect her for that matter. These really really deep feelings have produced over only several months? You need to be honest with yourself and realize that the fact of the matter is you don't know this girl fully. How can you love something you don't know?
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Help that did not work makes seeking help again that much harder. That's not an easy cycle to break through.
John
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John
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