I Need Help Please. Am I Gay?

[marrmarr]

Hi, I am a 20 year old female. I have watched porn on and off since about age 12. I do not watch it regularly and I would definitely not say I am addicted by any means.
When I watched porn, I would also watch lesbian porn. I never wanted to practise this in my daily life or even thought anything of it. Last night, I watched it and then I had a fleeting thought "Does this mean I am gay?". Ever since then I have been panicking and worrying and stressing about this.

I have always mainly been attracted to males, sexually and romantically. I have had boyfriends in the past of 2 years, 1 years etc. I have never saw women that way or wanted to be with a woman. I have always dreamed of marrying a man and having a family. I even went to an all girls school from 16-18 and that sparked nothing.
However, ever since I have been panicking, I have looked into my past and found about 1 occasions where I have was curious about a female...but I have never wanted to act on it or be in a relationship with them. Perhaps it was the pornography that sparked all of that curiosity.
I am now freaking out and wondering about all of this. Ever since last night, the devil has been putting this panic inside me and added even more impure and perverse thoughts.
I have made a decision to stop watching porn, start going to church and recommit myself to jesus. But I am upset about having these thoughts and whether they make me gay. Please please help me I do not want this to take over my life and I feel that my brain is convincing me that I am gay. Please help, this all started last night and I want it to stop now.

 

[Observer]

It doesn't sound like you're gay to me, just sounds like you are anxious. Some people are bisexual, but being curious doesn't mean you're bisexual. Most people are curious about all kinds of things through their lives. If you have no urge to have sex with women, be in a long term relationship with a woman or anything like that then you're not gay

 

[Purge187]

You're not gay, but as you said, the things you've watched have planted those misgivings in your mind. That's one of the many perils of pornography.

You're on the right track now; pray that God will help you stay on it.

 

[emilie mayer]

Sounds like your anxiety has triggered intrusive thoughts. Your not gay. Im not gay but every now and then a thought about women enter my mind. But i know im not gay. Just confess your thooughts to God and focus on praising God and scripture.

 

[Arcwood]

Those who seek delusion will receive greater delusion. that what I think about your past references.
If you are not attracted to women. Forget about it. Your not Gay.
If watching lesbian porn makes you feel uncomfortable, which now I am sure it will. You should stop watching it all together. Now that you feel weak satan will attack you with more powerful forces.
Do not worry about your current affair.

I'd love to talk to you if you feel more and more concerned. But fear not.

 

[Arcwood]

Those who seek delusion will receive greater delusion, this is what I think about you looking back on your life.
I don't suggest church, if you continue watching porn. Satan eagerly attacks those who turn from what they are doing to distract themselves.
If your not attracted to women sexually, your not gay, and don't worry about it.



I would love to talk with you if you continue to feel confused.

 

[raven1]

I don't think your gay. You may have OCD about being gay. There is a thing called HOCD. Ur obsessed your gay when u have this but your not.