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I need help and suggestions

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plastinationchild

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Okay, let me start. Theres a really nice and pretty girl in my youthgroup, and I cant seem to just start talking to her. I dont know how to start without seeming a. desperate, b. perverted, or c. just plain weird. What would be a healthy and godly way to approach this and what would be a good way for me to approach her.

Your thoughts and suggestions welcome. (and also needed).
 

mdwood

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I'm sure it's really hard for young men to learn to get the confidence to ask girls out. I am a grown woman with teenage boys of my own. One is not shy and doesn't struggle at all and the other is on the quieter side and keeps to himself more. What I have taught both of them is to have confidence in yourself and ALWAYS remember that you will be amazed at what you will get in life if you just have the courage to speak up and ask. On the other hand, one thing a man has to learn in life is about rejection and not to take it personally. That is the bad part. Men have to deal with it everyday. Just remember to always ask for whatever it is you want and if for some reason you don't get it, then remember that it was not in God's will for you and something better is just around the corner. A perfect example is that my boys have a banquet coming up at their school next month. They both have dates, but one of the boys found out last week that an older girl at school that is really popular had wanted to go with him but he didn't think she would be interested so he asked someone else that was in his grade. It ends up that the older girl sent word to him that she would have gone if he had just asked. What a surprise to him! I told him to ALWAYS ask and don't ever under estimate yourself in life. Good luck to you. :)
 
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smooze

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Be bold and ask her if she would consider going to the movies with you as "friends". Alot of people will go through 3rd parties to ask her if she would be interested in doing this. If she says no through this 3rd party then feelings can't be hurt. Brother sowing your wild oats is a tough time believe me i know. Try to do things slowly and thoughtfully if she is attracted to you ( physically or mentally) then she will give you subtle hints. Unfortuantely alot of men are clueless of these. Ok do that don't come on too strong talk to her friends "ask". You neverknow her friend may be interested in you and you become married and live a great life . God works in mysterious ways God Bless and good luck Guy~L~

your Big Brother in Christ Jon :wave:
 
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tuba_peter

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There are many ways to approach someone that you like. The one best way that I have found the easyest to do is just to be yourself. Most people say..."it so hard to be myself" the think is, it's not that hard to be yourself. All you have to do is do what you like to do and not let other people's actions conflict with the way that you act. JUST BE YOURSELF! And don't tell someone else to tell her for you because then she will get the wrong imprestion. Just be yourself!!!
 
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heron

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plastinationchild,
Asking her out immediately might be abrupt. For me it would be. I want to know more about the person, have some fun with them, talk about random things with them before I become part of a "clinch the deal" date.

The movie with friends idea is good, because she wouldn't have to decide if she likes you yet. Make sure you're part of conversations in youth group, so she knows how you feel about various things.
If you sense that she already likes you, then ask her to do something together outside of youth group.
 
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