hi, my name is justin.
i was raised in a strict pentecostal/non denominational home (95% of sundays were spent at church.) my mother would only let us (my 4 other siblings at the time) watch ("bible man and veggie tales,) even when i neared high school. i loved church and watching ppl get slain in the spirit and speaking in tongues...even went to a tent revival where my great grandma got healed and didnt have to wear hearing aids at 96, plus she didnt need a walker anymore. on the other hand my grandma had a hard time walking due to the scar tissue from her radiation treatments for cancer....she was stage 4 and the nurses told her "you're going to die, its bad." that was before i was ever born and i got to see her up until i was 23, im 24 now...she was healed...at least for a little while.i just moved back up to northern michigan after getting out of the marine corps...it was my birthday, my grandma was in the hospital...i learned that day because she told me...not more hospital visits..."it was her time to go." not 4 months went by before she passed. but before she did, there was this one night she told me about. she had a dream she was in this room and there were demons blocking the door to heaven from here...just as they attacked her, she "woke up" by my grandpa shaking her because she wasnt breathing. she was the best christian i know...if she cant make it to heaven then i have no choice. im gay, but dont practice it. i have the temptations, but dont act on them...but then again i do because i have dreams sometimes about it...i surely have no chance to make it to heaven. i wish it were easy as turning a switch in my brain to fancy females instead of males. i guess the point im trying to make is i love God and believe in him, and that his son jesus died for our sins...but whats the point, im going to hell anyway because of my sexuality. i just wish things were easier.
Justin
i was raised in a strict pentecostal/non denominational home (95% of sundays were spent at church.) my mother would only let us (my 4 other siblings at the time) watch ("bible man and veggie tales,) even when i neared high school. i loved church and watching ppl get slain in the spirit and speaking in tongues...even went to a tent revival where my great grandma got healed and didnt have to wear hearing aids at 96, plus she didnt need a walker anymore. on the other hand my grandma had a hard time walking due to the scar tissue from her radiation treatments for cancer....she was stage 4 and the nurses told her "you're going to die, its bad." that was before i was ever born and i got to see her up until i was 23, im 24 now...she was healed...at least for a little while.i just moved back up to northern michigan after getting out of the marine corps...it was my birthday, my grandma was in the hospital...i learned that day because she told me...not more hospital visits..."it was her time to go." not 4 months went by before she passed. but before she did, there was this one night she told me about. she had a dream she was in this room and there were demons blocking the door to heaven from here...just as they attacked her, she "woke up" by my grandpa shaking her because she wasnt breathing. she was the best christian i know...if she cant make it to heaven then i have no choice. im gay, but dont practice it. i have the temptations, but dont act on them...but then again i do because i have dreams sometimes about it...i surely have no chance to make it to heaven. i wish it were easy as turning a switch in my brain to fancy females instead of males. i guess the point im trying to make is i love God and believe in him, and that his son jesus died for our sins...but whats the point, im going to hell anyway because of my sexuality. i just wish things were easier.
Justin
Hi Justin. That's a lot of growing up stress! We are all basically sinners before we meet Jesus... regardless of the sin. It is good that you do not act upon your negative inclinations.... we all must do that regardless of what they entail, and focus on Jesus and the good in us through Him.
