My name is Darren, I've posted here before in the past.
I have issues with anger. I'm Bipolar, it's not something I choose to do.
But it affects me.
I think I've done some wrongs. But I was trying to do right. I am a member of a science message board, One of the topics there. was, if the Bible was true/ false or irrelevant.
Now keep in mind, This message board is primarily Atheist. And in truth, I get along with people of almost all faiths until they attack my faith. There was a man there. He Began questioning My faith. He asked me how it was okay to be a Christian. He then accused God Of being several things. Ranging from a murder to a pedophile to evil. I tried to intellectually debate the man. For two days in the forums, I debated this man.
I eventually just completely lost my temper. Look. From my point of view. someone is allowed to think whatever they want. But when you are directly speaking to someone who is a Christian. It is just not right to approach someone and accuse their God of all these evil things. When I became Offended. I didn't fight with this man like a Christian. There was hate in my heart. Now, At this point, I'm a Christian. Who has been pushed for days by this man, I've been told what I believe is wrong. And Evil. And that it's simply not okay to Worship God.
Then the administrator of the forums, Who is also an atheist. (Believe me, I have no problem with someone just because they are an atheist.) But no one on earth is going to approach me and tell me that it's wrong to be offended by someone calling God a pedophile, I was beside myself and completely inconsolable at the time.
To This group of Atheists. I came off like an attacking Monster. I told the administrator. The only power he had over me was the power to ban. And I am not afraid of that power. That he could ban me or not. But no one, Is going to tell me that it's wrong to be offended when someone calls their God those things. That I would defend God to anyone who attacks him in my presence. and I quote. ( His Athiest ass could just ban me or deal with it. because I don't just stand there while people throw stones. I throw them back. )
The problem is, I know I handled this wrong. But I had no support, It was me in a room full of 40 atheists. Being ridiculed for my beliefs for two full days until I snapped on everyone.
Now, I know I've done wrong. I didn't handle this correctly.
However. I feel like someone who would Call God a pedophile and a murder. Is my enemy. I have no really nice things to say to someone who says that to me about God.
What I need right now. Is for someone who Understands situations like these. To tell me, How Do I begin to feel like a human again. These people accused me of being mentally unstable just because I wouldn't sit and listen to them call God these horrible things.
Maybe I am mentally unstable. But There is nothing intellectual about calling someone's deepest spiritual beliefs all those horrible things. and expect me to just bite my tongue. Please, someone, advise me. What Do I do?