I need advice from a priest.

[DaveHTexas]

Please be patient as I lay the situation out, because this, what is my life, is a bit of a scrambled mess and I need some advice from a priest.

I am not catholic myself, but rather a non denominational Christian. And I am not here to argue or discuss the whole Catholic vs. Protestant thing. My brother has been working on that for 2 decades.

This is about making and keeping peace between followers of Jesus Christ and my personal relationships.

I married, Justice of The Peace ceremony in my early 20s and while I believed in God and the Lord Jesus, it was... well god and jesus the son of god. (Notice the lower case?) I Came to confession of faith and baptism in my late 20s. At 34 on Easter Sunday my wife came to me and basically told me she wanted a divorce, I decided to get nosy and discovered she had been having multiple affairs going back a number of years. To before our marriage.

I was not going to give up and insisted on marriage counseling, our pastor referred us to a really good counselor, who was actually a Catholic marriage counselor and determined to do all she could to get our marriage in order.

After a dozen sessions, my wife sat in front of both the counselor and myself and swore she didn't believe in the God stuff, it was just for her a social thing, and she was not under any circumstances going to end things with the men she was having affairs with. So we can just stop trying and stop telling her about Gods design for marriage. The counselor asked to speak / have sessions one on one instead of couples to try to get to the bottom of it.

Not long afterwards at my one on one session a Catholic counselor told me that if she left, and she was going to, I was not bound to her morally. Quoting 1 Corinthians 7 15 specifically among other passages. "15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart. For a brother or sister cannot be made subject to servitude in this way. For God has called us to peace." (Catholid Public Domain Version (English)).

My wife at the time divorced me, and rapidly remarried another man, one of the men she was having an affair with. She has since married and divorced at least 2 other men that I am aware of.

I know what I read in scripture and what my pastor teaches about the matter, and I know I am not bound to her any more. But here is where the catholic church comes into play.

I met, courted and wanted to marry a beautiful Godly woman whos family was split down the middle Catholic / Protestant, and I wanted to do it right, and have her fathers blessing to our marriage. He knew I had been divorced and was dead set against it. So I asked him if he would please accompany me to the parish and talk to the priest.

He agreed, and we went, and sat down for a good long while and talked with the priest, after laying out the papers the counselor gave me, the marriage license showing the officiant was a judge and not a pastor or priest, and knowing the marriage was entered into as basically an agnostic, the priest told this womans father, and myself, that in the eyes of the Catholic church, I was never married as she never entered validly into the marriage covenant, among too many other reasons to list.

He gave me his blessing, and I married my beautiful bride in a beautiful ceremony performed by a Baptist Pastor.

We were married 15 years before she passed away during COVID. So now I am a widower.

I was involved with a grief support group for widows and widowers, and one of the widows and I had become friends as our values were both very much aligned and we found the other easy to talk to. She is Catholic. And that difference has not been a stumbling block.

I know we went over my past. I am very open and honest about it.

Well my friendship with this woman has blossomed into a full and proper relationship. And I could seriously see myself marrying her and growing old together.

And the subject of Divorce came up last time we were talking. And it seems she has forgotten that major detail to my life, or has simply accepted the priests prior response and moved on.

I want to talk to her about it, and make sure we are on the same page.

How can I put her mind at ease with my situation?

Does the Catholic Church teach that in situations like mine I should remain unmarried?

 

[zippy2006]

Does the Catholic Church teach that in situations like mine I should remain unmarried?

No, your former marriage ended upon the death of your spouse. She was a Catholic and your marriage was valid, approved by a Catholic priest for the assurance of her father. I see no reason why you would not be free to marry. This doesn't seem like a controversial case.

How can I put her mind at ease with my situation?

I would simply remind her that your second marriage was approved by a Catholic priest for the benefit of your bride's father. If she is concerned you could see another priest and I think he would say that you are free to marry.

Note that I am not a priest, and I don't know of any Catholic priests who post here.

 

[Reluctant Theologian]

I'm not a Roman Catholic priest, but even when your 1st wife would have left you, there is no Bible verse prohibiting your from marrying again (otherwise please show me). You didn't send her away, she left ...

 

[fide]

Please be patient as I lay the situation out, because this, what is my life, is a bit of a scrambled mess and I need some advice from a priest.

I am not catholic myself, but rather a non denominational Christian. And I am not here to argue or discuss the whole Catholic vs. Protestant thing. My brother has been working on that for 2 decades.

This is about making and keeping peace between followers of Jesus Christ and my personal relationships.

I married, Justice of The Peace ceremony in my early 20s and while I believed in God and the Lord Jesus, it was... well god and jesus the son of god. (Notice the lower case?) I Came to confession of faith and baptism in my late 20s. At 34 on Easter Sunday my wife came to me and basically told me she wanted a divorce, I decided to get nosy and discovered she had been having multiple affairs going back a number of years. To before our marriage.

I was not going to give up and insisted on marriage counseling, our pastor referred us to a really good counselor, who was actually a Catholic marriage counselor and determined to do all she could to get our marriage in order.

After a dozen sessions, my wife sat in front of both the counselor and myself and swore she didn't believe in the God stuff, it was just for her a social thing, and she was not under any circumstances going to end things with the men she was having affairs with. So we can just stop trying and stop telling her about Gods design for marriage. The counselor asked to speak / have sessions one on one instead of couples to try to get to the bottom of it.

Not long afterwards at my one on one session a Catholic counselor told me that if she left, and she was going to, I was not bound to her morally. Quoting 1 Corinthians 7 15 specifically among other passages. "15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart. For a brother or sister cannot be made subject to servitude in this way. For God has called us to peace." (Catholid Public Domain Version (English)).

My wife at the time divorced me, and rapidly remarried another man, one of the men she was having an affair with. She has since married and divorced at least 2 other men that I am aware of.

I know what I read in scripture and what my pastor teaches about the matter, and I know I am not bound to her any more. But here is where the catholic church comes into play.

I met, courted and wanted to marry a beautiful Godly woman whos family was split down the middle Catholic / Protestant, and I wanted to do it right, and have her fathers blessing to our marriage. He knew I had been divorced and was dead set against it. So I asked him if he would please accompany me to the parish and talk to the priest.

He agreed, and we went, and sat down for a good long while and talked with the priest, after laying out the papers the counselor gave me, the marriage license showing the officiant was a judge and not a pastor or priest, and knowing the marriage was entered into as basically an agnostic, the priest told this womans father, and myself, that in the eyes of the Catholic church, I was never married as she never entered validly into the marriage covenant, among too many other reasons to list.

He gave me his blessing, and I married my beautiful bride in a beautiful ceremony performed by a Baptist Pastor.

We were married 15 years before she passed away during COVID. So now I am a widower.

I was involved with a grief support group for widows and widowers, and one of the widows and I had become friends as our values were both very much aligned and we found the other easy to talk to. She is Catholic. And that difference has not been a stumbling block.

I know we went over my past. I am very open and honest about it.

Well my friendship with this woman has blossomed into a full and proper relationship. And I could seriously see myself marrying her and growing old together.

And the subject of Divorce came up last time we were talking. And it seems she has forgotten that major detail to my life, or has simply accepted the priests prior response and moved on.

I want to talk to her about it, and make sure we are on the same page.

How can I put her mind at ease with my situation?

Does the Catholic Church teach that in situations like mine I should remain unmarried?

I am not "a priest" but I'll offer some advice anyway: I strongly recommend that both you and your friend set aside thoughts of marriage and focus instead on the foundation that could make a future marriage truly solid and authentic, truly Christian. The proper, rightful foundation is, of course, God Incarnate, Jesus Christ, God the Son in the Holy Trinity. Differences in faith make serious obstacles in the union possible in marriage. Marriages can "last" in many senses of the word, while "growing old together." To be one in "one flesh" can be very important in some stages of life; to be "one" in faith, in hope, in Holy Charity, is a billion times more important, and in holy glory in union with God. The question "Exactly WHO IS Jesus?" has radically different actual answers among the many, many actual denominations and groups that gather persons calling themselves "Christian" - and those differences in the core of the person form foundations for a marriage having crucially important faults in the foundation of the particular marriage at issue.

All this calls for deep discernment of oneself, in honesty with oneself and with the other - which can be neglected in favor of "solving" (even if prematurely) the profound ache of loneliness that can eat at us within. God created man - in such a way that it was not good that the man be alone, thus a helper fit for him was made. (Gen 2:18). Thus the man and the woman were made in one sense "for" the other - in Truth. Exactly what do you believe in? Exactly WHO is Jesus Christ in your life? Finding Truth, and coming together in Truth - only in Truth is loneliness finally eclipsed in the light of our One Creator God.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Please be patient as I lay the situation out, because this, what is my life, is a bit of a scrambled mess and I need some advice from a priest.

I am not catholic myself, but rather a non denominational Christian. And I am not here to argue or discuss the whole Catholic vs. Protestant thing. My brother has been working on that for 2 decades.

This is about making and keeping peace between followers of Jesus Christ and my personal relationships.

I married, Justice of The Peace ceremony in my early 20s and while I believed in God and the Lord Jesus, it was... well god and jesus the son of god. (Notice the lower case?) I Came to confession of faith and baptism in my late 20s. At 34 on Easter Sunday my wife came to me and basically told me she wanted a divorce, I decided to get nosy and discovered she had been having multiple affairs going back a number of years. To before our marriage.

I was not going to give up and insisted on marriage counseling, our pastor referred us to a really good counselor, who was actually a Catholic marriage counselor and determined to do all she could to get our marriage in order.

After a dozen sessions, my wife sat in front of both the counselor and myself and swore she didn't believe in the God stuff, it was just for her a social thing, and she was not under any circumstances going to end things with the men she was having affairs with. So we can just stop trying and stop telling her about Gods design for marriage. The counselor asked to speak / have sessions one on one instead of couples to try to get to the bottom of it.

Not long afterwards at my one on one session a Catholic counselor told me that if she left, and she was going to, I was not bound to her morally. Quoting 1 Corinthians 7 15 specifically among other passages. "15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart. For a brother or sister cannot be made subject to servitude in this way. For God has called us to peace." (Catholid Public Domain Version (English)).

My wife at the time divorced me, and rapidly remarried another man, one of the men she was having an affair with. She has since married and divorced at least 2 other men that I am aware of.

I know what I read in scripture and what my pastor teaches about the matter, and I know I am not bound to her any more. But here is where the catholic church comes into play.

I met, courted and wanted to marry a beautiful Godly woman whos family was split down the middle Catholic / Protestant, and I wanted to do it right, and have her fathers blessing to our marriage. He knew I had been divorced and was dead set against it. So I asked him if he would please accompany me to the parish and talk to the priest.

He agreed, and we went, and sat down for a good long while and talked with the priest, after laying out the papers the counselor gave me, the marriage license showing the officiant was a judge and not a pastor or priest, and knowing the marriage was entered into as basically an agnostic, the priest told this womans father, and myself, that in the eyes of the Catholic church, I was never married as she never entered validly into the marriage covenant, among too many other reasons to list.

He gave me his blessing, and I married my beautiful bride in a beautiful ceremony performed by a Baptist Pastor.

We were married 15 years before she passed away during COVID. So now I am a widower.

I was involved with a grief support group for widows and widowers, and one of the widows and I had become friends as our values were both very much aligned and we found the other easy to talk to. She is Catholic. And that difference has not been a stumbling block.

I know we went over my past. I am very open and honest about it.

Well my friendship with this woman has blossomed into a full and proper relationship. And I could seriously see myself marrying her and growing old together.

And the subject of Divorce came up last time we were talking. And it seems she has forgotten that major detail to my life, or has simply accepted the priests prior response and moved on.

I want to talk to her about it, and make sure we are on the same page.

How can I put her mind at ease with my situation?

Does the Catholic Church teach that in situations like mine I should remain unmarried?

I’m not a priest either. Did you get a formal annulment of your first marriage? The case seems a slam dunk for you as she probably never intended to be exclusive with you and her vows were false. Do find a priest again, and if you did not get a formal annulment, check that out.

 

[DaveHTexas]

I’m not a priest either. Did you get a formal annulment of your first marriage? The case seems a slam dunk for you as she probably never intended to be exclusive with you and her vows were false. Do find a priest again, and if you did not get a formal annulment, check that out.

A valid question. Since neither my ex, nor I were Christians of any sort at the time of the marriage, and the marriage ceremony was a Justice Of The Peace thing, the priest I had talked to told me I don't need it annulled since it was never considered valid in the first place.

Had I been a practicing Christian at the time, Catholic or otherwise, I would have needed one to be able to remarry as the marriage would have been done by a church body that the Catholic church recognizes. I am no Catholic Scholar but I believe that has something to do with Vatican 2... Please let me know if I am wrong on that...

As far as the issue of variances between observation of the faith goes between us. It is something to consider. And the foundation of our relationship is based on the common ground of the faith. We both love God and seek to serve and honor him first. We may differ in apostolic ascention, but elsewhere we are in agreement. I am not asking her to leave the Catholic church, and she is not asking me to leave my church, but we are seeking Gods will together.

 

[Solo81]

There is a Mexican Saint who was married several times. When his wife died, he remarried again.
Marriage is God's design and desire for men and women.

 

[chevyontheriver]

A valid question. Since neither my ex, nor I were Christians of any sort at the time of the marriage, and the marriage ceremony was a Justice Of The Peace thing, the priest I had talked to told me I don't need it annulled since it was never considered valid in the first place.

Perhaps so, or perhaps an annulment would be a slam dunk if you pursued it. The reason it might possibly be necessary is that the Catholic Church considers the marriage of people who aren't even Catholic to have potential validity. In fact the presumption is for validity so it is often necessary to show that it was invalid by a formal process. So do go find a priest or call your diocesan marriage tribunal for better advise. The good news seems to be that it would be almost a formality.

Had I been a practicing Christian at the time, Catholic or otherwise, I would have needed one to be able to remarry as the marriage would have been done by a church body that the Catholic church recognizes. I am no Catholic Scholar but I believe that has something to do with Vatican 2... Please let me know if I am wrong on that...

I don't think much changed with Vatican II in that regard. Marriages seem more fragile now and many get a decree of nullity before a marriage tribunal. It was not so easy in the past, but back then your average marriages seemed healthier.

As far as the issue of variances between observation of the faith goes between us. It is something to consider. And the foundation of our relationship is based on the common ground of the faith. We both love God and seek to serve and honor him first. We may differ in apostolic ascention, but elsewhere we are in agreement. I am not asking her to leave the Catholic church, and she is not asking me to leave my church, but we are seeking Gods will together.

That is good. I would ask you to consider the Catholic faith. It is reasonable and actually quite Biblical on a deep level. People I know who have become Catholic as adults are happy that they did and only the smallest number are bitter over the faith they grew up with. They feel they found the 'more' they were looking for. No pressure, but it's a good place to be, even in crazy times. Maybe especially in crazy times.

 

[JSRG]

Please be patient as I lay the situation out, because this, what is my life, is a bit of a scrambled mess and I need some advice from a priest.

I am not sure if there are any Catholic priests that frequent this subforum. If you are looking for a priest, I think you would be best off contacting a local parish and asking if you can speak to their priest.

 

[DaveHTexas]

I don't think much changed with Vatican II in that regard. Marriages seem more fragile now and many get a decree of nullity before a marriage tribunal. It was not so easy in the past, but back then your average marriages seemed healthier.

That is good. I would ask you to consider the Catholic faith. It is reasonable and actually quite Biblical on a deep level. People I know who have become Catholic as adults are happy that they did and only the smallest number are bitter over the faith they grew up with. They feel they found the 'more' they were looking for. No pressure, but it's a good place to be, even in crazy times. Maybe especially in crazy times.

I couldn't agree more. The church as a whole, and honestly several mainline protestant denominations are heretical on their teaching on the matter of marriage. I grew up in an Assemblies of God church and honestly not happy with them. Basically got convinced as a kid if you didn't speak in tongues you weren't saved... Came to faith as an adult. Nothing would make my oldest brother happier than to see me baptised in the Catholic Church. I am not saying no, I am saying show me the church that follows our Lord the closest... I've not been exposed enough to the Catholic church to know for sure. I have a lot of questions I am afraid to ask to be honest. Again I just don't know... That is something my girlfriend and I are exploring together. I have several good friends from my congregation that used to be Catholic as well. I think it was a matter of the label they got from their parents instead of a true faith of their own... There are a lot of folks that will take a label but don't really have the faith.

Honestly, pray about it. I am open to Gods direction after all...

On the matter of an annulment, my ex dissolved that marriage 20 years ago. I was married to my late wife for 15 years and a lot of old papers are, well stuffed somewhere in boxes only she knows where they are. I never understood her way of filing...

 

[chevyontheriver]

I couldn't agree more. The church as a whole, and honestly several mainline protestant denominations are heretical on their teaching on the matter of marriage. I grew up in an Assemblies of God church and honestly not happy with them. Basically got convinced as a kid if you didn't speak in tongues you weren't saved... Came to faith as an adult. Nothing would make my oldest brother happier than to see me baptised in the Catholic Church. I am not saying no, I am saying show me the church that follows our Lord the closest... I've not been exposed enough to the Catholic church to know for sure. I have a lot of questions I am afraid to ask to be honest. Again I just don't know... That is something my girlfriend and I are exploring together. I have several good friends from my congregation that used to be Catholic as well. I think it was a matter of the label they got from their parents instead of a true faith of their own... There are a lot of folks that will take a label but don't really have the faith.

Honestly, pray about it. I am open to Gods direction after all...

On the matter of an annulment, my ex dissolved that marriage 20 years ago. I was married to my late wife for 15 years and a lot of old papers are, well stuffed somewhere in boxes only she knows where they are. I never understood her way of filing...

If you want to ask a sincere question here you can do that. And there are scads of good apologetics sites available online too, far better than ever before.

 

[Valletta]

A valid question. Since neither my ex, nor I were Christians of any sort at the time of the marriage, and the marriage ceremony was a Justice Of The Peace thing, the priest I had talked to told me I don't need it annulled since it was never considered valid in the first place.

Had I been a practicing Christian at the time, Catholic or otherwise, I would have needed one to be able to remarry as the marriage would have been done by a church body that the Catholic church recognizes. I am no Catholic Scholar but I believe that has something to do with Vatican 2... Please let me know if I am wrong on that...

As far as the issue of variances between observation of the faith goes between us. It is something to consider. And the foundation of our relationship is based on the common ground of the faith. We both love God and seek to serve and honor him first. We may differ in apostolic ascention, but elsewhere we are in agreement. I am not asking her to leave the Catholic church, and she is not asking me to leave my church, but we are seeking Gods will together.

As has been recommended contacting a local Catholic priest is the best option. To let you know what to expect, for a Catholic (as is your potential marriage partner) to marry within the Catholic Church all previous marriages (presuming the participants are alive) must receive a declaration of annulment. Whether a sacramental marriage previously took place between non-Catholics is based mainly upon an investigation of the disposition of the two people at the time of marriage, not whether there was a judge or pastor present. If an investigation found that one person did not expect to remain loyal to the other forever, whether because of immaturity or maybe they intended to cheat from the beginning, the marriage would be annulled. This typically requires a witness or evidence beyond your statement to show this was the case, maybe a statement from your first wife, maybe from friends or someone else.

 

[Michie]

Exactly.

 

[RileyG]

There is a Mexican Saint who was married several times. When his wife died, he remarried again.
Marriage is God's design and desire for men and women.

Who?

 

[zippy2006]

As has been recommended contacting a local Catholic priest is the best option. To let you know what to expect, for a Catholic (as is your potential marriage partner) to marry within the Catholic Church all previous marriages (presuming the participants are alive) must receive a declaration of annulment. Whether a sacramental marriage previously took place between non-Catholics is based mainly upon an investigation of the disposition of the two people at the time of marriage, not whether there was a judge or pastor present. If an investigation found that one person did not expect to remain loyal to the other forever, whether because of immaturity or maybe they intended to cheat from the beginning, the marriage would be annulled. This typically requires a witness or evidence beyond your statement to show this was the case, maybe a statement from your first wife, maybe from friends or someone else.

First, remember that you already consulted a priest about the nature of your first marriage, and he told you that you were free to marry the Catholic woman. You're essentially asking for a second opinion upon that priest's opinion.

Second, what no one has mentioned is that non-sacramental marriages are not indissoluble, and therefore do not even necessarily require an annulment (cf. Catholic Answers). This is probably why the priest you already consulted many years ago was nonplussed about your natural marriage, especially given the obvious circumstances of the Pauline Privilege.

 

[Valletta]

First, remember that you already consulted a priest about the nature of your first marriage, and he told you that you were free to marry the Catholic woman. You're essentially asking for a second opinion upon that priest's opinion.

Second, what no one has mentioned is that non-sacramental marriages are not indissoluble, and therefore do not even necessarily require an annulment (cf. Catholic Answers). This is probably why the priest you already consulted many years ago was nonplussed about your natural marriage, especially given the obvious circumstances of the Pauline Privilege.

No. The best advice is to consult the parish priest to get the process of investigation started. A parish priest asks some questions and then submits the information to the diocese for investigation. The parish priest is not authorized to make a final decision. Canon law states:

Can. 1060 Marriage possesses the favor of law; therefore, in a case of doubt, the validity of a marriage must be upheld until the contrary is proven.

Thus a diocese has experts in canon law and professional investigators who seek out and examine the facts. Pauline Privilege is rare in the United States and is a complex situation involving marriage between two unbaptized persons where one of them wants to be baptized and the other does not want to become baptized and/or remain married. A parish priest would have no authority to declare such a situation, it is handled by professionals from the diocese. If a Catholic marriage is a possibility in the future then the best thing is to begin the formal annulment process right away, sometimes it can take a long time although today there is an effort to try and make decisions in months rather than years.

 

[Solo81]

Who?

Can't remember his name or when his feast is. Read about him on Catholicexchange

 

[Valletta]

Can't remember his name or when his feast is. Read about him on Catholicexchange

Juan Diego(Our Lady of Guadalupe) was married, there was a hint he might have been married a different time and had a son but nothing that I know of was substantiated. As to other countries, Saint Adelaide was married more than once:
Saint Adelaide | Biography & Facts

 

[DaveHTexas]

First, remember that you already consulted a priest about the nature of your first marriage, and he told you that you were free to marry the Catholic woman. You're essentially asking for a second opinion upon that priest's opinion.

Second, what no one has mentioned is that non-sacramental marriages are not indissoluble, and therefore do not even necessarily require an annulment (cf. Catholic Answers). This is probably why the priest you already consulted many years ago was nonplussed about your natural marriage, especially given the obvious circumstances of the

To be clear here, my late wife was not Catholic, her father was. Her mothers side of the family were non denominational Christians as was my wife, and we were married by a Baptist pastor. We had consulted with a priest to get her fathers, who was Catholic blessing.

I know old fashioned, but I wanted to do it right, by her, our families, and God.

What you mentioned about sacramental and non sacramental marriage is what the priest was talking about. My civil marriage to my ex was not considered a sacramental marriage, there were no children by her action I would rather not go into...

I know many protestant denominations will marry divorced people on the basis of repentance, however in order for the particular church and pastor that married us we had to be in good standing in both Matthew 19:9 and 1 Corinthians 7... I had never heard it called the Pauline Priviledge.

There is a nice parish that a friend attends mass at close to my church. I believe they have Mass tomorrow. I will go see what that is about and try to talk with a priest there.

My girlfriends parish puts the Homilies online and I have been catching what the priest there is talking about, as much as I can follow. Long story. What I do catch though is that the teaching is solid and Honors God...

 

[WarriorAngel]

Please be patient as I lay the situation out, because this, what is my life, is a bit of a scrambled mess and I need some advice from a priest.

I am not catholic myself, but rather a non denominational Christian. And I am not here to argue or discuss the whole Catholic vs. Protestant thing. My brother has been working on that for 2 decades.

This is about making and keeping peace between followers of Jesus Christ and my personal relationships.

I married, Justice of The Peace ceremony in my early 20s and while I believed in God and the Lord Jesus, it was... well god and jesus the son of god. (Notice the lower case?) I Came to confession of faith and baptism in my late 20s. At 34 on Easter Sunday my wife came to me and basically told me she wanted a divorce, I decided to get nosy and discovered she had been having multiple affairs going back a number of years. To before our marriage.

I was not going to give up and insisted on marriage counseling, our pastor referred us to a really good counselor, who was actually a Catholic marriage counselor and determined to do all she could to get our marriage in order.

After a dozen sessions, my wife sat in front of both the counselor and myself and swore she didn't believe in the God stuff, it was just for her a social thing, and she was not under any circumstances going to end things with the men she was having affairs with. So we can just stop trying and stop telling her about Gods design for marriage. The counselor asked to speak / have sessions one on one instead of couples to try to get to the bottom of it.

Not long afterwards at my one on one session a Catholic counselor told me that if she left, and she was going to, I was not bound to her morally. Quoting 1 Corinthians 7 15 specifically among other passages. "15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart. For a brother or sister cannot be made subject to servitude in this way. For God has called us to peace." (Catholid Public Domain Version (English)).

My wife at the time divorced me, and rapidly remarried another man, one of the men she was having an affair with. She has since married and divorced at least 2 other men that I am aware of.

I know what I read in scripture and what my pastor teaches about the matter, and I know I am not bound to her any more. But here is where the catholic church comes into play.

I met, courted and wanted to marry a beautiful Godly woman whos family was split down the middle Catholic / Protestant, and I wanted to do it right, and have her fathers blessing to our marriage. He knew I had been divorced and was dead set against it. So I asked him if he would please accompany me to the parish and talk to the priest.

He agreed, and we went, and sat down for a good long while and talked with the priest, after laying out the papers the counselor gave me, the marriage license showing the officiant was a judge and not a pastor or priest, and knowing the marriage was entered into as basically an agnostic, the priest told this womans father, and myself, that in the eyes of the Catholic church, I was never married as she never entered validly into the marriage covenant, among too many other reasons to list.

He gave me his blessing, and I married my beautiful bride in a beautiful ceremony performed by a Baptist Pastor.

We were married 15 years before she passed away during COVID. So now I am a widower.

I was involved with a grief support group for widows and widowers, and one of the widows and I had become friends as our values were both very much aligned and we found the other easy to talk to. She is Catholic. And that difference has not been a stumbling block.

I know we went over my past. I am very open and honest about it.

Well my friendship with this woman has blossomed into a full and proper relationship. And I could seriously see myself marrying her and growing old together.

And the subject of Divorce came up last time we were talking. And it seems she has forgotten that major detail to my life, or has simply accepted the priests prior response and moved on.

I want to talk to her about it, and make sure we are on the same page.

How can I put her mind at ease with my situation?

Does the Catholic Church teach that in situations like mine I should remain unmarried?

I think Amazon has audio of a book called Unbound by Neal Lozano my daughter is having me listen to.
Life is tough, and I really think you both need this book.
It dives deeply into our hurts and admitting them...but he guides us through it and how to ask the Lord to help show us and of course release.

I have come across mental emotional problems with people [hating parents, feeling neglect and basically molested] who have the most need for deep healing. That includes understanding and self forgiveness.

It is excellent.