I could not sleep then i asked myself why and i digging deep , i feel in deep down i actually agree with my parents and my family, i agree i m bad cuz i have not fulfilled my parents' goal, i failed.....
It maybe is a culture thing Restore but if we live for people, it is the same as relying on people and we will always get disappointed because our minds always have wrong ideas because it is us relying solely on self-understanding. The devil and tradition and people may say you are useless, but don't you think that! Living for Christ is gain in death. Living to be something other people want to make you be is not gaining anything. If they do not respect you for anything now do you think they will respect for letting them control and dominate you? That is not the same as honoring parents.
when i was a kid they wanted me to read more books and same time could obey them everything i failed
when i was a teen they wanted me to have good grades at school i failed
when i was adult they wanted me to date right guys and get married at right age i failed
Teaching to read should be for positive influence of learning and developing the mind.
You maybe didn't get the grades they wanted you to, but you got through school and later got a degree. That is not failure. That is accomplishing something despite what others are telling you.
And they may think something is right guy, but God may have other plans. And tradition may say there is a right age to get married, but even in the Bible people are marrying at various ages. There is no wrong age to get married unless marry by self ways, parents ways alone. God's way is always the right age. When you marry, it will be the right age because it is God's will.
and they wanted me to get stable job and good career i failed.
so, they say i deserve this punishment to stay suffering and receiving blame each time they call me. and I believe they r correct in my deep heart....what will Jesus want? I feel Jesus also say i m a failer and i m a bad daughter so i deserve this pain and this punishment from parents and family i deserve to stay in forever lonliness and blame.
You are suffering because of listening to these voices saying you are a failure, including yourself. Voices saying that you do not accomplish parents' way or your way so you will not accomplish anything. But those are lies. And other suffering is for other reasons in your other posts, not because you are a failure. Jesus loves you and has grace for you and even if you fall down He will not fuss at you when you get back up. When you trust and obey Him, He will say "well done, my faithful servant."
Jesus is not a manipulative fellow full of hate. He is loving full of grace and understanding. He will say it is not your job to be somebody's puppet, but your job is to live for Christ. He will say "No need to stay in dark hole little Restore. Surrender this pain to me, submit to me, and I will bring you joy and the desires of your heart."
I was born a weak health kid maybe i should not come to this earth, my mom was wrong to put me here, and they feel i m burden from little, i also feel i m a burden. so why bible says everything will work out for good purpose? what good purpose for a burden kid?
everyone in real life feeling me a shame except a few online friends whom i never seen .
It is not your fault you are sick as a child. It is not sin. Sister, friend. No matter what, you are not the burden people would have you think. You are not the burden you would have you think. Sure you have weaknesses, so does everybody else. You are human. You have strengths too, because you have the Lord Jesus. All that is good in our lives is from the Lord Jesus letting us be born. Sure a lot of bad things can happen. But God gave you a brain, a life, and desire to know Him for a reason. Not to say you are a failure. To help you live for Jesus and make a difference for His glory. Restore, you think there is nothing good in your life. You are making a difference in people's life. So what if you cannot do everything! It is not your job. You are being used even now to show people how important a strong relationship with Jesus is!
Yes, I should follow the bible and learn, God told me this morning when i woke up, too
.....and this forum friends also r telling me same things
Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!
My problem is, i was so damaged like a house with too much holes, I m v hard to understand bible, i realize it so important of it now, I must try to overcome a lot pain. I feel v much painful when I read bible. and v hard to understand , I need to pray for guide.
Yes, you got it sister! It may be hard to read the Bible. Every time you read it, ask the Lord to give you peace and also speak to you to edify you and draw you closer. Yes you do need to pray for guidance, mainly let the Lord. You may need women to fellowship with, but only to assist in directing you to focus on the Lord and let the Lord heal you. The Lord is our shelter, healer, and provider.
And I m v hard to focus on doing anything except internet. I m trying to read a book offline or trying to learn a new skill like painting, my brain just v easy to get tired, too. I think it is a spiritual warfare.....but i will keep on it this time ,and ask for more strength from the lord.
While it is all good to do things outside of the internet, if everything is in seclusion it is still the same. And if it is to fix this suffering pain it will not really fix. It may provide an out, or an escape, but only the Lord is the Way. I think even the right women to encourage you is a desire you need to lay at His feet, and just concentrate on your relationship with Him. He will provide for you, the hardest thing is letting go and letting Him control, but the more and more we practice that, it becomes a good habit...
