I lost the battle

[Sophia7]

My name is compromise, that's why I cant continue to be led and not take the lead in this and other issues.
Actually, when my wife was pregnant we made an agreement to build this house with the agreement that we'd go to that public school across from where we built. Now is the time to enroll our son. Our economical outlook requires that we sell the house if she is going to be a stay home wife.
........Extremely sensitive situation..........Appreciate your comments.

I loved public school, in my first marriage my 3children went to public school (all college grads). I knew this would be an issue, so I did compromize. This Elementary school in question is one of the best schools in the USA (#54).

So is it your wife who is objecting to sending him to public school or her family? Has she changed her mind from your earlier agreement? If it's her family, I don't think that you should let them dictate what you do with your son.

I can relate to your financial situation in some ways. Things have been difficult for us, too, these past few years. I've stayed home anyway, and if I had gotten a job outside the home, whatever money I had made probably would have just gone to pay for daycare and gas for me to drive to work. We don't own a house, though.

I'll pray for you, Crib. May God give you wisdom to know how to lead your family.

 

[Sophia7]

I loved public school, in my first marriage my 3children went to public school (all college grads). I knew this would be an issue, so I did compromize. This Elementary school in question is one of the best schools in the USA (#54).

Just noticed that you had added more to your previous post.

I went to public schools most of the time until college, except for a couple of years in Adventist elementary schools. I was always glad that my parents didn't want to send me away to academy, and we wouldn't have sent our own kids either if hubby had still been a pastor by the time they reached high-school age. The public schools where we live now are also very good. So I can understand that.

What I don't understand is why you feel that you compromised in a bad way regarding your wife's agreement to send your son to public school. Being a good leader, even in the family, is not just telling people what to do and expecting them to do it without question or disagreement or without possibly having to change your position on something. Sometimes it does require compromising or sacrificing your own wants and needs for the sake of someone else.

 

[Byfaithalone1]

........Extremely sensitive situation..........

Sounds like it. But you're not alone. Marriage is anything but neat and tidy; it's often messy and confusing.

Appreciate your comments.

Thanks for letting me stick my nose in where it does not belong. I don't know the situation like you do. God will not leave you to make these important decisions alone.

BFA

 

[VictorC]

Now is the time to enroll our son. Our economical outlook requires that we sell the house if she is going to be a stay home wife.
........Extremely sensitive situation..........Appreciate your comments.

It is really hard for me to add a constructive comment that would help. These economic times are not for playing games with the resources you have been given, and I for one would have a very hard time dealing with a spouse who doesn't have a grasp on reality. Be sure the shotgun has a quality trigger lock on it, and keep the key well out of sight.

I will lift you up in prayer, and the tears aren't far behind.

 

[Joe67]

CRIB,

It is the Spirit of Jesus working through the Word/Seed that he has provided for us that will strengthen and guide you; strengthen you to drink the cup and walk in the way of the Lord.

1 Cor 7:10-17

10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. KJV

Joe

 

[bugkiller]

SDA live primarily by EGW writings. They're quick to claim that certain practices are not their church teaching but 6 out of 8 tend to follow what they call "the spirit of prophecy" (her writings)

I see a lot of pain. God has been very good to me. It is testimonies like yours that continue to drive my efforts to defend the truth.

You certainly have my sympathies. You are going to need a lot of support. I do not envy you in the slightest.

bugkiller

 

[Aibrean]

SDA schools don't teach you enough Biblical education. My MIL told my husband growing up that he would go to heaven if he lived a good life. She went to SDA schools all her life (including college) and worked in an SDA hospital.

 

[Sophia7]

SDA schools don't teach you enough Biblical education. My MIL told my husband growing up that he would go to heaven if he lived a good life. She went to SDA schools all her life (including college) and worked in an SDA hospital.

I'm thankful that I didn't go to Adventist schools for much of my educational experience. I went to Adventist elementary schools for a couple of years, and I went to an Adventist college, but the rest of the time I was in public schools. I'm glad that my exposure to that sort of indoctrination was limited while I was growing up.

 

[Aibrean]

I went to a private Christian school until 8th grade. While we had chapel once a week and devotions in the morning, I am not sure it really helped me. I think Sunday School helped more. When you have learning the Bible as a kind of requirement you kind of tune it out (we did have memorization though and Bible drills). OP - have you ever considered having only a portion of the education at an SDA school?

We haven't had kids yet but we are considering enrolling ours in the school part of our church to give them a foundation (although, like I said, I don't know what kind of Biblical foundation SDA offers).

 

[VictorC]

I went to a private Christian school until 8th grade. While we had chapel once a week and devotions in the morning, I am not sure it really helped me. I think Sunday School helped more. When you have learning the Bible as a kind of requirement you kind of tune it out (we did have memorization though and Bible drills). OP - have you ever considered having only a portion of the education at an SDA school?

We haven't had kids yet but we are considering enrolling ours in the school part of our church to give them a foundation (although, like I said, I don't know what kind of Biblical foundation SDA offers).

In the past I have supported independent Baptist churches that have their own private schools, as I consider them a viable alternative to government education. There are aspects of their theology and eschatology that I don't agree with, but beyond the pre-tribulation rapture theory common with Baptists these concerns are minute compared with Adventist doctines.

 

[Aibrean]

I wonder at what age the real Adventist doctrine comes in though.

At any rate, the OP is the man of the household. I think it's high time you just put your foot down and say your way is how it's going to be. If she wants to obey the Bible she will respect that.

 

[Sophia7]

I wonder at what age the real Adventist doctrine comes in though.

At any rate, the OP is the man of the household. I think it's high time you just put your foot down and say your way is how it's going to be. If she wants to obey the Bible she will respect that.

Indoctrination in Adventist education starts very early in a child's life. For example, I taught Eager Beavers, which is a program for preschoolers, a few years ago just before I left Adventism. I was dismayed that most of the lessons in the teacher's manual included stories about Ellen White rather than Bible stories. I used the Bible instead.

I also remember hearing, during the couple of years that I spent in SDA elementary schools, many stories about Ellen White, and Adventist curriculum materials are written or carefully selected in accordance with Adventist doctrine. In college, some of my Bible courses used Ellen White's writings as required reading. I had never even read any of her books until college, but that is probably not a common experience among Adventists although maybe more so today than a few generations ago. The extent of indoctrination also depends on the teachers, I think; some are very traditional, and some are more progressive.

 

[Aibrean]

That's sad.