I kinda wish that I wouldn't be here anymore..

[Babydoll]

I am sad.

I kinda wish that I wasn't here anyhmore. I listen to this track over and over

the final cut

through the fish eyed lens of tear stained eyes
i can barely define the shape of this moment in time
and far from flying high in clear blue skies
i'm spiralling down to the hole in the ground where I hide

if you negotiate the minefields in the drive
and beat the dogs and cheat the cold electronic eyes
and if you make it past the shotgun in the hall
dial the combination open the priesthole
and if i'm in i'll tell you what's behind the wall

there's a kid who had a big hallucination
making love to girls in magazines
he wonders if you're sleeping with your new found faith
could anybody love him
or is it just a crazy dream

and if i show you my dark side
will you still hold me tonight
and if i open my heart to you
and show you my weak side
what would you do
would you sell your story to rolling stone
would you take the children away
and leave me all alone
and smile in reassurance
as you whisper down the phone
would you send me packing
or would you take me home

thought i oughta bare my naked feelings
thought i oughta tear the curtain down
i held the blade in trembling hands
prepared to make it but just then the phone rang
i never had the nerve to make the final cut


It sums up how I feel.. I wish that i did not exist, the pain is to great to keep going on. I am so ANGRY! I hate my mom, I hate good, I hate everyone! I hate myself the most I don't know why can somebody help me?

 

[Violet]

I know how you feel. I've felt the same way before...I felt so sad and mad and confused....like I had no meaning. I hit rock bottom one night and fell to my knees crying and prayed (for the first time) that God please help me. I told Him that I want to know Him and asked for Him to help me be a better person and live a fulfilling life. After that I changed. I just felt peace and calm like He was hugging me. That's when I believed in Him and asked Him to come into my heart. That moment changed my life forever.

I'm going to pray for you Babydoll....but I want to advise you to pray too. It might seems awkward at first...maybe it will feel like He's not listening but I promise He is. He loves you so much and His arms are wide open.

If you have any questions please feel free to PM me....I'm always here

 

[cat has felt the light!]

I'm going to pray for you because it sounds like you're kinda lonely and knowbody wants that. I want to be here as someone you can just write to when things get hard ok? but only if you want to of course.
I used to self harm because of the poor relationship I had with my mum. She has depression and people dont understand how hard it can be to dislike someone yet love them so much! I don't know if this is anything like what you're going through but I do know that I felt very alone and I don't wish for anyone else to have to go through that.
I will pray for you tonight,
C@ xx

 

[witsgoeilh]

I know exaclty how that feels, I once was like that too. I still am once in a while, but our LORD put us on this earth to spread his word, and glorify Him. But I'll definatally pray for you!

 

[From Black To White]

not that this might help much now, but if there is one thing i beleve in its this: everything happens for a reason.

i went thru some hard times once, and now im living a practicly charmed life. the biggest thing ive learned is that life is like a bumpy road, it has its ups, its downs, but as you get closer to the inercity- progressing in life- it all evens out.

and in the end, God is fair and just and people get what they derserve. dont worry, were all sinners, but do not dispare! admitince is the only step to recovery. all you have to do is ask God for forgiveness and its yours!

some people hide in drugs or... other things.... but you must hide in prayer! when ever you get sad or lonely, talk to God. not only is talking things out a good way to get it off your chest, but also one learns many things when deep in prayer.

sleep on it. God has talked to me in my sleep! God is there thru the little things and espesally the big things, when you need him most!

 

[Patdoggydogg]

Same thing happend to me, life was going from bad to worse, so I 'turned my back' on christianity. I went into other religions to see if something good would come my way. Then I was watching TBN (i NEVER wated that, i littarally was flipping through) and I saw a man who said 'God loves you so much, that if you ask for forgivness, he will grant you everlasting life in Heaven." (something along those lines) and it sounds very veg(sp?), but it ment so much to me that i went and said the Sinners prayer, and i felt soo much better. then reasently i was flipping through the channels again, and landed on TBN, and another preacher was saying "you've left God in hopes to find something better, but know that God is waiting on your portch for you, its your choise to open the door." and i was in shock, so i went to go pray again and i felt so happy.

Not trying to get all religious on you Baby, but what im saying is, things will get better, you may have your trails now, but you will overcome them...dont worry. plz feel better and never take the cowards way out ("not existing anymore") (by your choise)

Everything happends for a reason....feel better

~Bless

 

[Angeldove97]

I think, whether or not we're Christian, that we get like this at times...but knowing that doesn't really help with the problem. I'm a Saved Christian and I still battle depression very often...I still feel upset at my parents, or that why should I care so much about faith, and what not.

I know how hard it can be...to feel so hopeless. And I'll be praying for you. Even if you don't believe in what I believe, that's okay...I want to make sure you're taken care of. And I hope that you have found some peace in your heart by reading what other members have posted here for you. We don't want to lose anybody here...and so I'm sure others will be praying for you as well. Let us know how you're feeling when you can. **hugs**
~tati~

 

[ProCommunioneFacior]

praying

 

[Jesus_help_me]

I know exactly what u mean I think all of us have done this becuase we where weak and are weak without christ. Not to affen you or anything but without faith with God it makes you more vonerable to the devils lies. But all you got to do is see what god has you on this world for and plz I ask you to plz try to pray and ask god to help you, you might feel kind of silly at first but that is the way satan works to turn others away. hey iam here for ya so drop me an im somtime.

 

[MLynn]

You said you were sad and angry, and that you hate yourself. What has happened to trigger this? Do you have people near you that love you, that you trust and that you can talk to. I have friends who are atheists whom I love with no strings attached. If you have shared your atheism with people you've probably gotten harrassed or rejected. You have support here. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break.

I am a Christian, but I will not preach to you. You've probably heard the Gospel 60 ways from Sunday. I just want to be a friend. I wish you all the best! Don't stay sad and angry too long. Hug, hug

 

[Christian Outcast]

I know how you feel, but don't be sad. God loves you and never will leave you. I know that times may be hard but things will be better. If you ever need me I am always here for you.

 

[jehovahway]

I am sad.

I kinda wish that I wasn't here anyhmore. I listen to this track over and over

the final cut

through the fish eyed lens of tear stained eyes
i can barely define the shape of this moment in time
and far from flying high in clear blue skies
i'm spiralling down to the hole in the ground where I hide

if you negotiate the minefields in the drive
and beat the dogs and cheat the cold electronic eyes
and if you make it past the shotgun in the hall
dial the combination open the priesthole
and if i'm in i'll tell you what's behind the wall

there's a kid who had a big hallucination
making love to girls in magazines
he wonders if you're sleeping with your new found faith
could anybody love him
or is it just a crazy dream

and if i show you my dark side
will you still hold me tonight
and if i open my heart to you
and show you my weak side
what would you do
would you sell your story to rolling stone
would you take the children away
and leave me all alone
and smile in reassurance
as you whisper down the phone
would you send me packing
or would you take me home

thought i oughta bare my naked feelings
thought i oughta tear the curtain down
i held the blade in trembling hands
prepared to make it but just then the phone rang
i never had the nerve to make the final cut


It sums up how I feel.. I wish that i did not exist, the pain is to great to keep going on. I am so ANGRY! I hate my mom, I hate good, I hate everyone! I hate myself the most I don't know why can somebody help me?

i will answer your question for you babydoll the reason you feel this way is because satan has his angels on you
i have been instructed by my high priest king jesus christ to send his ministering
spirits to you, thats his angels.
they will break satans angels off of you so that you will not fill that way.
that has allready been done.
may the love of jesus be done on and in you in jesus holy name

 

[Evie]

I am sad.

I kinda wish that I wasn't here anyhmore. I listen to this track over and over

the final cut

through the fish eyed lens of tear stained eyes
i can barely define the shape of this moment in time
and far from flying high in clear blue skies
i'm spiralling down to the hole in the ground where I hide

if you negotiate the minefields in the drive
and beat the dogs and cheat the cold electronic eyes
and if you make it past the shotgun in the hall
dial the combination open the priesthole
and if i'm in i'll tell you what's behind the wall

there's a kid who had a big hallucination
making love to girls in magazines
he wonders if you're sleeping with your new found faith
could anybody love him
or is it just a crazy dream

and if i show you my dark side
will you still hold me tonight
and if i open my heart to you
and show you my weak side
what would you do
would you sell your story to rolling stone
would you take the children away
and leave me all alone
and smile in reassurance
as you whisper down the phone
would you send me packing
or would you take me home

thought i oughta bare my naked feelings
thought i oughta tear the curtain down
i held the blade in trembling hands
prepared to make it but just then the phone rang
i never had the nerve to make the final cut


It sums up how I feel.. I wish that i did not exist, the pain is to great to keep going on. I am so ANGRY! I hate my mom, I hate good, I hate everyone! I hate myself the most I don't know why can somebody help me?

hello Babydoll,
yes you could just talk to God just like you talk to a friend. He hears your ever cry,pain,sorrow. Whatever you are feeling,He will be with you through the good and hard times. I also have been their done that. I would love for you,if you would like just to email someone or just talk to someone.Christians are to be their for everyone. (Click on a username and the drop menu will show up),click on email this user. It helps alot,I know.
I am not sure exactly what is going through your mind,but life is too precious sweety. You need to know that Jesus died for you and he loves you. You may tell Him anything,any secret,He is there with you know,and if you would like,you could ask Him to come and live in your heart. you don't have to feel like noone loves you. We all love you! Jesus wants to come into your heart and LIVE! He wants to fill you with joy everlasting.I will pray for you Babydoll. Just remember you're NEVER ALONE!!!!!!!!

 

[Evie]

hello Babydoll,
yes you could just talk to God just like you talk to a friend. He hears your ever cry,pain,sorrow. Whatever you are feeling,He will be with you through the good and hard times. I also have been their done that. I would love for you,if you would like just to email someone or just talk to someone.Christians are to be their for everyone. (Click on a username and the drop menu will show up),click on email this user. It helps alot,I know.
I am not sure exactly what is going through your mind,but life is too precious sweety. You need to know that Jesus died for you and he loves you. You may tell Him anything,any secret,He is there with you know,and if you would like,you could ask Him to come and live in your heart. you don't have to feel like noone loves you. We all love you! Jesus wants to come into your heart and LIVE! He wants to fill you with joy everlasting.I will pray for you Babydoll. Just remember you're NEVER ALONE!!!!!!!!

I also need you to know Babydoll that I just lost my nephew to suicide not too long ago,and whatever that song was that you posted,please don't listen to it. Maybe you can find something a bit more cheerful. Like some Christian bands,their are some really cool Christian bands today with a postive message.

PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING

 

[ukok]

I think a lot of us have wished at one time or another, that we just weren't here anymore...but having lived through that, things have subsequently happened in our live's that make us realise that we would have missed out on so much.

I would have missed out on many beautiful friendships, on having children, on walking more and more closely with the Lord.

I must tell you that though the lyrics seem to echo your feelings, they are only reinforcing your 'validity' to feel this way...if causing your own non existance were not an option, you would be forced to confront your feelings head on and seek help...frankly, i don't see opting out as an option. i have lost people i cared about, to suicide...and let me tell you, it's the people left behind who have to live out their pain for the rest of our live's.

If you have any love for the people in your life, don't do anything that would remove you from them permanantly....we are not talking about RTA's or accidental death, we are talking murder....it's just that the person who chooses suicide, murder's themselves...rather than someone else.

I will pray for you.

 

[Evie]

babydoll,can you please just post and let us know that your doing okay. Better to hear from you than not at all. just a quick post please. We love you!

 

[gzusfreak]

hey. sounds like your having a rough time. im here for ya. u can talk to me about it if u ever want to. god be with u

 

[e8514]

Grettings in Christ,


Christ and all of us want you here. God has a plan for your life. I will keep you in my prayers that Gods grants you peace.

Keep in Gods word and keep praying. The Bible has many passages on how God gives us peace.

Try to keep strong and I will pray for you.


God Bless,

Steve

 

[Ceenwc]

:crosself: When your little hope is gone, don't fall in dispear, just remember God, He's standing there. And when the winds of destruction are blowing, look up and see God, help is on the way! When your heart is broke into a thousand pieces and it seems that no one even cares, and when the waves of destruction are tossing, Babydoll, look up and see God, help is on your way. "Father, you know about this situtition better than anyone, I bind the spirit of depression in the name of Jesus and loose out a spirit of joy, unspeakable and full of Your glory. I loose the spirit of peace that will surpass all of your understanding Babydoll in the name of Jesus. I bind the spirit of murder in the name of Jesus and loose out the spirit of life in Jesus name. I speak life to your dry bones in Jesus name. God will not give you any more than you can bear. I bind the spirit of bitterness and loose out the spirit of love in Jesus name. Babydoll, Jesus says, "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give your rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for my yoke is easy and my burdens are light, and ye shall find rest in your soul."

In all that you are going through know this God wants to use you and the devil sees your potential and is trying to destroy you. Whatever your situation, you are not alone. God loves you, you may not think so right now. These test are coming to you so that you will see just how much you need Jesus! Take heed, the Lord loves you and so do I. If you want to talk just know that there are those who will listen.

God Bless

 

[skatergirl4God]

I'm gonna pray for you, even if my own faith is shaky, the least I could do is make sure someone else is living good