Hello everyone! I am a full time university student. Studying with depression/anxiety is hard by itself. I have barely any energy left to do anything beyond go to school. If I don't sleep at least 10 hours I feel down. I think my depression is caused by physical reasons as it started way back in my teens after being a happy child. I tried sport and all kinds of supplements, but only St John's Wort helped me, combined with 5htp and a tricyclic antidepressant. Suddenly I was back to my old self again - positive, optimistic, loving everyone, bubbly. However, that combo cased me to have serotonin syndrome and I quit taking those.
I prayed hard for this new year to be anxiety and depression free for me and it was until the middle of last week when I had a breakdown and since then I am constantly crying, walking down the streets like a shadow. I even started thinking about overdosing on the SSRI antidepressant I have to end the suffering. Being alone all the time doesn't help, people at university ignore me and make me feel invisible. I don't know how I discovered this forum and why I am sharing this, I guess I need some prayers as my prayers are unheard. I really want to graduate and get a diploma from uni, but it's hard to study with this issue. Some days even the sounds of people talking or cars make me panic.
I really miss having close friends, but right now the people I used to go out with couldn't even bother with my problems and I have to deal with that alone. Somehow being alone and lonely seems to be my destiny as I cannot find that person to confide in. If only I could find that one person, I don't need or want dozens of friends, just one good one would suffice. But people avoid me.
Blessings!
I prayed hard for this new year to be anxiety and depression free for me and it was until the middle of last week when I had a breakdown and since then I am constantly crying, walking down the streets like a shadow. I even started thinking about overdosing on the SSRI antidepressant I have to end the suffering. Being alone all the time doesn't help, people at university ignore me and make me feel invisible. I don't know how I discovered this forum and why I am sharing this, I guess I need some prayers as my prayers are unheard. I really want to graduate and get a diploma from uni, but it's hard to study with this issue. Some days even the sounds of people talking or cars make me panic.
I really miss having close friends, but right now the people I used to go out with couldn't even bother with my problems and I have to deal with that alone. Somehow being alone and lonely seems to be my destiny as I cannot find that person to confide in. If only I could find that one person, I don't need or want dozens of friends, just one good one would suffice. But people avoid me.
Blessings!