I have an "I do what I want to" attitude, and general Christian faith-based problems

[STH]

I'm a Christian but as a friend told me, I have a serious "I do what I want to" attitude. I follow certain things about the Bible, for example I don't eat pork or some other meats because the Old Testament lists them as unclean. And I don't believe in premaritial sex. But then on the other hand, I listen to Slipknot, a music which some consider irreligious. I also can't help but disagree with the Christian idea that all people should be treated equally. I can't help but believe in or support a world of elitism, first come first serve, where respect must be earned rather than given.

Also, I really don't care about much. I care about God, but I have a different perception of God than most - I see him as a God of love but I also see him as a God of war, because in the Bible he knew how the enemy should be conquered. I care about family. I barely care about people other than family except maybe one friend, who isn't always there for me. I care about old video games which bring nostalgia. And that's honestly about it.

I think the reason why I care about God so much is because I was bred by my family to love Him, meaning taught to love Him at a young age. But that's not really a good reason. I don't know the answers to life, and I just don't want to go to hell.

I have questioned the existence of God a little sometimes. There are Christians who are evolutionists but certain points about evolution seem to disprove the Bible. My fear of God and own personal explanations to these evolution problems kind of keep me in check though. But I still think of the idea of, what if there is no God?

The life I want to carve for myself in the coming years is studying to become and becoming a computer engineer, meeting someone, and getting married. The only bigger dreams I have than that are pretty much trying to become a multimillionaire somehow.

And I have to ask the question, should I have any Christian moral values, like not eating pork and staying away from premaritial sex, if I don't follow other ones? What's the point? Yet I still cling to the moral values I do keep.

Also, my life is full of sorrows. I've lost 3 loves and 3 best friends, been in the hospital for things, etc.

 

[mandyangel]

You seem like a guy who really knows yourself. I am sorry you have lost friends. I think that its important to know that NOBODY is perfect and we are all sinners. You CAN be a Christian and imperfect, we are all that way. I think you really do believe in God and I think u coming here is a good way of showing it. You should do what you believe in and having really strong values is great. The best advice I can give you or anybody really is just to talk to God. Its free and He will listen.

 

[WalksWithJesus9]

Yes I agree...and most important, be truthful and honest with how you feel. Perhaps keeping a journal (either everyday about how you feel, thoughts or simply "faith-based" thoughts) will help you to sort out your issues. Many of us have periods in our lives in which we are torn between one thing and another. We also may be faced with a lot of confusion. This is a normal part of life. As long as you feel comfortable enough with yourself to know your feelings and occasionally go over them (as in reading past journal entries from a year ago let's say) you will feel more comfortable.

 

[joey_downunder]

STH You might like the Book of Proverbs. You seem to be a good thinker; this book is full of God's wisdom and logic.

It has no problem with pointing out honouring people in power e.g. kings. People do have different roles or ranking in society; what Christians do is to try to love their neighbour which will mean loving everyone no matter what their position in society, wealth, background etc.
Where did you get the idea that Christians still have to follow food customs that the Jews did in the Old Testament? See how God showed the apostle Peter that these rules no longer applied to Christians. Acts chapter 10
The other thing to do that shows Christianity is built upon a lot of facts is to seek out good Christian apologetics resources e.g. how reliable the bible is. Apologetics 315: Bible

Make sure you don't fall for the "what can't be proved via Science doesn't exist" dogma. History can't be replicated in a laboratory. Scientism is a very limiting and closeminded worldview.

 

[STH]

I do think a lot about things. Maybe because I noticed that most people I know who are 23-28+ tend to start to think deeply about things. Myself being 23.

That's not to say that younger people don't think deeply, but I've noticed more philosophical thinking with people my age and older. It's kind of like you're at the point in your life where you say, "Hey, what is the purpose? Who am I?" and try to find answers and solve problems.