I hate to admit this...

SamanthaAnastasia · Sep 5, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
When it comes time to build a new one, yes I sell the "old" parts to help pay for the new ones.

Like I usuallh upgrade my video card everytime nvjdia comes out with a new technological breakthrough (every 2 years or so) what I pay for one depends. September 17th Nividia is coming out with the Rtx 30 series a significant upgrade over the 2080 series that i bought last September. I paid a little over $900 for my 2080 super, I'm going to discuss with my wife whether or not I can buy a 3080 when they come out in a few weeks and I'll for the first time probably hive her my 2080 super. Mainly because its refurbished (ASUS is repairing it right now) and i probably would be lucky to get $250 for it because its a refurbished card and everyone wants the 30 series now. But vnvidia said the 3080 will be $599 so it wont set me far back. That’s a VERY decent price for a brand new released video card.

But do I build them and sell them? No. My father told me there would be no money in that because people just buy whatever is cheap like he does.

I know a bunch of gamers who pay top dollar for computers but they don’t know or don’t have time to build a computer themselves.
My husband always gets offers to build his buddies computers.
Put a Craigslist ad along the lines of custom gaming computer builder. You never know

Richard T · Sep 5, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
I get disability, yes. I'm classified as disabled by the government due to having schizophrenia. Well actually its not just scizophrenia I simplify my mental health condition because many people have heard of schizophrenia but they've not heard of my official diagnosis. My actual diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder. Which basically means I'm Schizophrenic and Bipolar at the same time. I get psychotic episodes and manuc ones.

I also tend to be schizophrenic more of the time than bipolar/manic-depressive so saying "im schizophrenic" technically isn't a lie its just not the whole story. Basically they give me disability because I cannot be a part of the workforce because I do get manic/psychotic episodes and depending on the severity of the episode (which is random), I can possibly be a danger to others or myself. And these episodes can even last for a year or longer. I just got over a manic episode that lasted from April of 2019 until nearly June of 2020. So you can see why I can't hold a job I could possibly need to be out of work for many months or even possibly over a year. Most episodes though are over with in 2-3 months. it wouldnt surprise me if the American government paid over a quarter million dollars a year to keep me alive and as stable as possible each year I'm alive. Especially with my recent surgery.. im sure that cost them
like 30 grand. Just... stupid.

I understand the age gap and differences between the ages. My moms parents didn't even have power until the late 2000s or so. Her father passed away in 2011. My dads father cared about me so much that he was worried about me because he thought I was going nowhere too. When I got on disability idk if he approved or not. He never told me and he's been gone since 2017 so can't ask him. He did live to see me convert to Christianity though and Protestantism so that made him happy (he was a Protestant too and his wife was Catholic). And they were ecstatic when I started dating my wife and when we got married a year later.

I just wish they lived to see our marriage last and the work km doing as a slave of Christ. But, cant have everything.

Understand the gap. What I dont understand is why im an outcast to my family. A majority of my family are "Christians" but I think only my grandparents were ever really practicing Christians with a lot of faith and zeal for Christ. So I coukd have talked to my dad's Father about religion and identified with him but the closest we said on the subject was one Christmas (the last time i saw my grandfather alive. The next time was when he was in a urn in a Catholic cemetery where the residing priest made me cry because he said the truth of my grandfather being raised on the last day and he wasn't really dead.) Anyway i brought my Bible from home because I wanted to do some studying. I was kjv only at that point. My grandfather noticed I was reading and he asked me what I was reading and I shyly said "the bible" and I saw his eyes light up and he said "thats a very really good book to read. There's nothing wrong with reading it." and we both cried and said nothing else.

I didn't come out as Protestant but it was obvious I was reading a Protestant Bible. So I could have spent lots of time talking religion or maybe even Calvinism with my grandfather but, while he was my favorite grandparent and I like to do donations in his name, i... didn't have much of a relationship with him.

Glad you explained that. Nothing wrong with taking disability, or that you spend your money on some great computing. I think that is totally up to you and your wife. It is too bad your family is not more accepting. Maybe you should talk to them directly about these feelings if you have not tried it before?

Neostarwcc · Sep 5, 2020

LaBèlla said:
Neostarwcc,

No one needs a $6,000 dollar computer for every day tasks. The majority who spend that amount are using it for professional purposes and have a write-off. You have an expensive hobby. Are you saving money too?

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

Because I'm on SSI the government doesn't allow me to save money. I'm not allowed more than $3,000 in countable assets which includes money in my bank and money in my safe. I do have money saved right now for fuel this winter but, I'm only allowed to have it because it's my stimulus check from last March. That money everybody is legally allowed to have until March of next year. Then it will start to count against our $3,000. Luckily I only have about $700 of it left (I gave most of it to chairty, it helped me with rent since March, I bought about $120 worth of hamburger with it from a farmer because they were selling 95% hamburger for $3.80 a pound. When in a market or online it's $8.50-$10+ hamburger you cannot even get 80% for $5 anymore. and the rest I'm keeping for fuel.

The exception to the $3,000 in assets is, you can have several million dollars worth of stuff in your house and still qualify for SSI. (Which is stupid) you just cannot sell it if it's going to put you over the $3,000 mark and if you do sell it you have to call Social Security and report it.

You're right, a majority of gamers build themselves spend $3,000-$4,000 on a computer everytime they build. But $6,000 is a luxury build for me, It's very rare. But when it comes to computers there's really no limit, you can spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on a computer if you want to put it on liquid nitrogen and buy motherboards partially made out of gold (which are apparently better functioning motherboards but I'll never have the money for one),

Believe it or not there are many computer enthusiasts who do stick their builds on liquid nitrogen and make lots of money competing in overclocking competitions where the grand prize is over a quarter million dollars. There's money in being computer enthusiasts. Me, I just build them for fun and to show them off. And naturally, I build them for gaming with. Very rarely do I just build a computer to just browse the internet. You can do that decently on a microwave oven these days.

Neostarwcc · Sep 5, 2020

Tropical Wilds said:
Do you see professionals to help you manage your condition?

I do see a therapist once a month for various different things. She just recently talked me into taking my Ativan again.

Neostarwcc · Sep 5, 2020

Bipolargirl said:
I know a bunch of gamers who pay top dollar for computers but they don’t know or don’t have time to build a computer themselves.
My husband always gets offers to build his buddies computers.
Put a Craigslist ad along the lines of custom gaming computer builder. You never know

Yeah it really depends on the gamer and how deep their pockets are. Like I said, some builds the sky's the limit. I know of gamers and enthusiasts who have built quarter million dollar plus computers. Nvidia has many multi hundred million dollar supercomputers. What I like is, I'm not spending my entire money on computers. If I was, people might have a point that I need to slow down a bit because, as a Christian I should be giving regularly to charity. I'm not bragging or anything but I like that I've been regularly giving to charity since about a year after my conversion to Christianity (2014). I've spent tens of thousands on computers since then but I've also given away 10's of thousands. Like I said, A majority of my stimulus check I just gave to Charity because I honestly had no need for the money besides fuel and rent. I could have spent it all on that but I figured charities would have needed it more.

Neostarwcc · Sep 5, 2020

Thera said:
Lol. It sounds as if you have an awesome life. Making computers and getting paid for it by the government. Sorry about your parents, but remember, you can't please all the people all the time.

Your mom is right about Windows 7, though. Bill Gates is a eugenicist hell-bent on sterilising the whole world. I wouldn't pay a cent for his rubbish, bug-ridden software, especially so now that he has outed himself as a mass murderer. And Windows 10 is just overbloated spy-ware. But if your mom doesn't care about privacy, couldn't you just share your copy with her?

Quite the life? I guess, but there are bad points to it too like everyone else. I've honestly only worked a few times in my life I worked for about a half a year when I was 16 and worked off the first computer I actually paid for by myself. My parents had to give me $100 or so because I lost my job before I could finish it but, It was quite the working experience I actually liked it. It was back 2002 or so when minimum wage was $5.25 an hour. I remember. It took me forever to make enough money to buy my own computer. So, I do know to a point what it's like to work for things but, I've never had to work for most of my life no. After I graduated high school to almost the age of 26 I lived with my parents virtually free of charge. They didn't start charging me rent until I started getting SSI in 2011 or so.

Tbch, I removed most of the Spyware and tracking features from Windows 10. I'm trying to encourage my parents to upgrade because Windows 10 is SIGNIFICANTLY better than Windows 7 and it's being updated all the time and will continue to be updated for a few years after windows 11 comes out. It's not the fact that my parents pirate their Windows 7 but the fact that they can't update it because it's pirated and they can't get updates anyway because microsoft hasn't updated windows 7 in years. My parents are just honestly asking to get hacked. They use very insecure passwords on their most sensitive of information and they have a lot of stuff to steal lets just say that. It makes me very worried about them but they refuse to upgrade to Windows 10 because they know how to use Windows 7 and don't care about my security concerns. I'm just afraid of one massive hack happening but they do at least keep a majority of their assets and important at home and not stealable by the online world. We live in a town in the middle of nowhere. We've lived here since I was 10 years old virtually and we only had one theft ever. Somebody tried to break into one of our neighbors's cars but stole and got nothing. So, I'm worried about online theft. Especially since I have a history of that kind of stuff years ago and I know how easy it is to get their information. But... people will be stupid.

Neostarwcc · Sep 5, 2020

zippy2006 said:
Freelance development, as you say, would allow for this. If you aren't able to freelance in that way a computer repair shop may be able to provide some flexibility for mental health if you talk to them ahead of time.

Ah, that's too bad. But who knows? I have a Csci degree with all of the math, but I have found that for most development projects the math isn't needed.

Algebra is used to a point is, like.... it's been a while since I took C++ and C# and It's probably way different now. But, basically when you're making a double integer like,

using namespace std;
#include <cmath>

int main ()
{
double test;

test = pow (4.0, 2);
test = pow (3.0, 6);
}

Like... you need to know algebra to understand how that works and how that's going to compile and run in the computer. I do remember basic algebra like that. So, I guess Calculus would be necessary but, why you need to go up to Calculus III for a bachelors degree I have no idea. You probably wouldn't even use that advanced of math ever. So, I understand why you need to go all the way for algebra for a computer science degree but, Calculus?

Neostarwcc · Sep 5, 2020

Richard T said:
Glad you explained that. Nothing wrong with taking disability, or that you spend your money on some great computing. I think that is totally up to you and your wife. It is too bad your family is not more accepting. Maybe you should talk to them directly about these feelings if you have not tried it before?

Yeah its nothing illegal don't worry. I completely abandoned my old ways when I converted to Christianity including the desire to want to become a software engineer or hardware engineer. I've grown to love theology over the years and I would love to study as a theologian now. But, I just don't think I could ever pass the classes required and especially at my age I should have started becoming a theologian AGES ago when I first started school. So, I'm just a theologian in my head now

JesseRaymondBassett · Sep 5, 2020

Normally I do not give advice here on CF, but here I go.

First point, if your a computer nerd like myself, get rid of Windows entirely. Zorin OS is a perfect replacement and it is free (unless you go for the $40 Ultimate which is what I did). It is based on Ubuntu 18.04 LTS. Very reliable. Second point, as for getting along with your parents, just live and let live. Be a peacemaker not a turmoultous child. Third point on the SSI thing, I have SSI too...I do not work but presently am working on changing that so I can make a little extra cash on the side. Here in Minnesota I can work 20 hours while being on SSI.

Just my thoughts,
Jesse

Kenny'sID · Sep 5, 2020

I'm on disability as well and only DIY out of the need to save money. And yes, there it a certain secure feeling knowing I'm getting the best machine for the buck, and that I'm saving money by only upgrading when I need to. Still, my year old $1000 build does all I need it to do, and there's no way I'm spending 5 grand for a machine.

Point being, IMO, you're going a bit overboard for your situation, but at the same time, it not only is none of my business how you spend your money, but I do get it, and if that brings you some enjoyment in life...go for it.

Kenny'sID · Sep 5, 2020

Oh, and I'm older than you parents, FWIW.

Neostarwcc · Sep 5, 2020

PrayerWarrior20 said:
Normally I do not give advice here on CF, but here I go.

First point, if your a computer nerd like myself, get rid of Windows entirely. Zorin OS is a perfect replacement and it is free (unless you go for the $40 Ultimate which is what I did). It is based on Ubuntu 18.04 LTS. Very reliable. Second point, as for getting along with your parents, just live and let live. Be a peacemaker not a turmoultous child. Third point on the SSI thing, I have SSI too...I do not work but presently am working on changing that so I can make a little extra cash on the side. Here in Minnesota I can work 20 hours while being on SSI.

Just my thoughts,
Jesse

Can I pm you? It ont be until this afternoon im busy atm but I'd like to talk to you more in private.

Bruce Leiter · Sep 5, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
I've been building computers and fixing computers for almost my whole life (since I was seven or so) My life has always been pre Christ living, breathing, sleeping, computers. And post christ living breathing sleeping computers and God. I always have to have the latest and greatest technological marvels. I take pride in building my computers because I make them fast, great, and works of art.

Sometimes this does cause problems because building the latest and greatest isn't cheap. A typical one of my builds costs at least $4,000. Sometimes up to $6,000.

I also tend to come off as a little snotty to people in the computer world because I'll tell them facts like 1440p 144hz gaming has been the standard of gaming for over 6 years now. Which, is the truth. When 2k monitors went to 144hz refresh rates the computer world exploded. Now with the release of the RTX 3080 only being a few weeks away and the 3090 being late September we are evolving into the age of 144hz 4k gaming becoming the standard.

I think my problem is I know what im talking about but I come off as snotty because I usually spend $1,200-$1,500 just on a video card. $800 on monitors $3-$500 on motherboards i... just go all out when i build and it makes me very happy. I even recently did a build for my wife because she was in massive need for an upgrade. And to me spending this kind of money on machines that are a billion times better than what you buy at Walmart is smart and saving money. And, I really enjoy what I do. I really enjoy fixing peoples computers and giving them advice. I really enjoy my online friends and I really enjoy it here on CF.

I honesty don't care that im usually on a device of some sort 24/7 but to my parents? They hate it. They think im ruining my life and ruining my money and im the one that makes it anyway. Okay fine the government gives it to me, who cares how I get it. They also hate that I give lots of money to charity too. So I have to lie to them and say the omly reason charities ask me for money is because I used to. The truth is I've been regularly giving to charity for years and years now.

When people ask me what I do for fun or what I do to keep busy im embarassed to say that I live off of the government and build and fix computers. And that my wife and i evangelize and talk most of the time on the internet.

This causes a lot of stress on my mom and she thinks I have my nose stuck way high in the air for investing so much of my money building these awesome machines i think everyone should have because they're immensely worth the money and time building. while she's had the same laptop with an illegal windows 7 on it since 2008. I keep offering to buy her a legal copy of w10 but she keeps saying no. I mean, we all have our hobbies but it upsets me that my parents cannot accept me for who I am. I cannot talk computers around my 60 year old parents.

I can't even talk about God with my mother because she's this new age movement catholic and I'm a strict fundamentalist Calvinist. So she doesn't agree with my "you have to accept Jesus or you're going to hell" "crap" so... i have no relationship with my parents. My father used to physically abuse me and verbally abuse me nearly every day until I moved out of his house. I decided to move out because I was such an unwelcome loser to my family that my dad hit my mom in front of me. That was just the straw that broke things i didn't care about being his punching bag but, my mom was the last draw.

My parents don't understand that I do in fact have friends. In fact, I have lots of them. I told my mom that I had a large Christian community praying for me during my surgery yesterday. They dont get it because my friends are online. I met my wife online too and my father refused to acknowledge us together or even married for the first 3 years of our marriage or so. Because its ridiculous the way we met and we shouldn't even be friends let alone married. Im just... comfortable with technology and computer science. But... ill always be the stupid idiot son who never goes anywhere. Idk if I shpuld just completely reform who I am or just hide under a rock. I dont know if I can be the physically social success that my parents want me to be. Or well... the world. Even my denomination has to be uncommon its like... ugghh.

The way I see your description, you have at least two problems, controlling parents and idolatry. First, stop worrying what your parents think about you, since at the end of Genesis 2, God's Word says that husbands leave their parents and hold on to their wives. It's normal for you to have a primary relationship with your wife and a less-important one with your wife. The commandment in the Ten Commandments says we are to honor our parents, not necessarily obey them, when especially when they have abused us. Respect their opinions, but find God's way instead.

Second, you say that building and buying computers gives you happiness. It sounds to me that your pleasure is most important since you admit that it's God and computers. What you need to do is fall on your knees and confess your idolatry of computers and always paying the most for the best. Remember that God owns all of your money, not you; you're just the caretaker of it. Keep confessing that you have made computers too important in your life until you receive assurance of his pardon.

Third, how do you define "fundamentalist Calvinist"? I'm a Calvinist, but i wouldn't say I'm a fundamentalist.

JesseRaymondBassett · Sep 5, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
Can I pm you? It ont be until this afternoon im busy atm but I'd like to talk to you more in private.

Yes you can PM me anytime.

Contenders Edge · Sep 5, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
I've been building computers and fixing computers for almost my whole life (since I was seven or so) My life has always been pre Christ living, breathing, sleeping, computers. And post christ living breathing sleeping computers and God. I always have to have the latest and greatest technological marvels. I take pride in building my computers because I make them fast, great, and works of art.

Sometimes this does cause problems because building the latest and greatest isn't cheap. A typical one of my builds costs at least $4,000. Sometimes up to $6,000.

I also tend to come off as a little snotty to people in the computer world because I'll tell them facts like 1440p 144hz gaming has been the standard of gaming for over 6 years now. Which, is the truth. When 2k monitors went to 144hz refresh rates the computer world exploded. Now with the release of the RTX 3080 only being a few weeks away and the 3090 being late September we are evolving into the age of 144hz 4k gaming becoming the standard.

I think my problem is I know what im talking about but I come off as snotty because I usually spend $1,200-$1,500 just on a video card. $800 on monitors $3-$500 on motherboards i... just go all out when i build and it makes me very happy. I even recently did a build for my wife because she was in massive need for an upgrade. And to me spending this kind of money on machines that are a billion times better than what you buy at Walmart is smart and saving money. And, I really enjoy what I do. I really enjoy fixing peoples computers and giving them advice. I really enjoy my online friends and I really enjoy it here on CF.

I honesty don't care that im usually on a device of some sort 24/7 but to my parents? They hate it. They think im ruining my life and ruining my money and im the one that makes it anyway. Okay fine the government gives it to me, who cares how I get it. They also hate that I give lots of money to charity too. So I have to lie to them and say the omly reason charities ask me for money is because I used to. The truth is I've been regularly giving to charity for years and years now.

When people ask me what I do for fun or what I do to keep busy im embarassed to say that I live off of the government and build and fix computers. And that my wife and i evangelize and talk most of the time on the internet.

This causes a lot of stress on my mom and she thinks I have my nose stuck way high in the air for investing so much of my money building these awesome machines i think everyone should have because they're immensely worth the money and time building. while she's had the same laptop with an illegal windows 7 on it since 2008. I keep offering to buy her a legal copy of w10 but she keeps saying no. I mean, we all have our hobbies but it upsets me that my parents cannot accept me for who I am. I cannot talk computers around my 60 year old parents.

I can't even talk about God with my mother because she's this new age movement catholic and I'm a strict fundamentalist Calvinist. So she doesn't agree with my "you have to accept Jesus or you're going to hell" "crap" so... i have no relationship with my parents. My father used to physically abuse me and verbally abuse me nearly every day until I moved out of his house. I decided to move out because I was such an unwelcome loser to my family that my dad hit my mom in front of me. That was just the straw that broke things i didn't care about being his punching bag but, my mom was the last draw.

My parents don't understand that I do in fact have friends. In fact, I have lots of them. I told my mom that I had a large Christian community praying for me during my surgery yesterday. They dont get it because my friends are online. I met my wife online too and my father refused to acknowledge us together or even married for the first 3 years of our marriage or so. Because its ridiculous the way we met and we shouldn't even be friends let alone married. Im just... comfortable with technology and computer science. But... ill always be the stupid idiot son who never goes anywhere. Idk if I shpuld just completely reform who I am or just hide under a rock. I dont know if I can be the physically social success that my parents want me to be. Or well... the world. Even my denomination has to be uncommon its like... ugghh.

It seems to me that you have instilled in you a passion and love for technology and computers for a reason and one thing I do know is that God does not give us our passions, gifts, and talents, whatever they may be, in vain, but does do with a purpose in mind which is why I find myself encouraging you to continue to pursue and carry out your passion.

It is also a blessing that you have a wife who seems to have no objection to your pursuits. I do not know your situation or why you are living off of government assistance, but especially during these uncertain times, I would not continue to rely on that assistance indefinitely but would strongly encourage you, if you are not doing so already, to find a way to make a living off of your technological pursuits and earnestly seek Gods wisdom and direction on this matter. It sounds like you have a quite a talent. Don't let it go to waste. Would be a tragedy if you did.

And remember, what other people think, whether they be those of your immediate family, household, your respective fellowship, or anyone else for that matter, does not matter, but rather it is whether or not you are faithfully following the call of God on your life and using your talent to bring honor and glory to His name which matters.

ripple the car · Sep 23, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
Yeah its nothing illegal don't worry. I completely abandoned my old ways when I converted to Christianity including the desire to want to become a software engineer or hardware engineer. I've grown to love theology over the years and I would love to study as a theologian now. But, I just don't think I could ever pass the classes required and especially at my age I should have started becoming a theologian AGES ago when I first started school. So, I'm just a theologian in my head now

Most of us are theologians in our head, dude.

I would focus on saving money, as much as possible. It's ok to have a hobby, and it's ok to be on disability if you are truly disabled. But based on some of your past posts, it sounds like focusing on taking care of yourself, taking care of your home, and if you eventually feel able, exploring the possibility of earning some income, even if from home, or from a side business, should all be priorities for you right now.

Families often have theological gaps. It happens. Do the best you can to build bridges, love your parents, and leave the rest to God. He loves them too.

thecolorsblend · Sep 23, 2020

Neostarwcc said:
I've been building computers and fixing computers for almost my whole life (since I was seven or so) My life has always been pre Christ living, breathing, sleeping, computers. And post christ living breathing sleeping computers and God. I always have to have the latest and greatest technological marvels. I take pride in building my computers because I make them fast, great, and works of art.

Sometimes this does cause problems because building the latest and greatest isn't cheap. A typical one of my builds costs at least $4,000. Sometimes up to $6,000.

I also tend to come off as a little snotty to people in the computer world because I'll tell them facts like 1440p 144hz gaming has been the standard of gaming for over 6 years now. Which, is the truth. When 2k monitors went to 144hz refresh rates the computer world exploded. Now with the release of the RTX 3080 only being a few weeks away and the 3090 being late September we are evolving into the age of 144hz 4k gaming becoming the standard.

I think my problem is I know what im talking about but I come off as snotty because I usually spend $1,200-$1,500 just on a video card. $800 on monitors $3-$500 on motherboards i... just go all out when i build and it makes me very happy. I even recently did a build for my wife because she was in massive need for an upgrade. And to me spending this kind of money on machines that are a billion times better than what you buy at Walmart is smart and saving money. And, I really enjoy what I do. I really enjoy fixing peoples computers and giving them advice. I really enjoy my online friends and I really enjoy it here on CF.

I honesty don't care that im usually on a device of some sort 24/7 but to my parents? They hate it. They think im ruining my life and ruining my money and im the one that makes it anyway. Okay fine the government gives it to me, who cares how I get it. They also hate that I give lots of money to charity too. So I have to lie to them and say the omly reason charities ask me for money is because I used to. The truth is I've been regularly giving to charity for years and years now.

When people ask me what I do for fun or what I do to keep busy im embarassed to say that I live off of the government and build and fix computers. And that my wife and i evangelize and talk most of the time on the internet.

This causes a lot of stress on my mom and she thinks I have my nose stuck way high in the air for investing so much of my money building these awesome machines i think everyone should have because they're immensely worth the money and time building. while she's had the same laptop with an illegal windows 7 on it since 2008. I keep offering to buy her a legal copy of w10 but she keeps saying no. I mean, we all have our hobbies but it upsets me that my parents cannot accept me for who I am. I cannot talk computers around my 60 year old parents.

I can't even talk about God with my mother because she's this new age movement catholic and I'm a strict fundamentalist Calvinist. So she doesn't agree with my "you have to accept Jesus or you're going to hell" "crap" so... i have no relationship with my parents. My father used to physically abuse me and verbally abuse me nearly every day until I moved out of his house. I decided to move out because I was such an unwelcome loser to my family that my dad hit my mom in front of me. That was just the straw that broke things i didn't care about being his punching bag but, my mom was the last draw.

My parents don't understand that I do in fact have friends. In fact, I have lots of them. I told my mom that I had a large Christian community praying for me during my surgery yesterday. They dont get it because my friends are online. I met my wife online too and my father refused to acknowledge us together or even married for the first 3 years of our marriage or so. Because its ridiculous the way we met and we shouldn't even be friends let alone married. Im just... comfortable with technology and computer science. But... ill always be the stupid idiot son who never goes anywhere. Idk if I shpuld just completely reform who I am or just hide under a rock. I dont know if I can be the physically social success that my parents want me to be. Or well... the world. Even my denomination has to be uncommon its like... ugghh.

No offense to you or your family. But your parents sound like major league Boomers.

The divide between the Boomers and the Millennials is very real, very serious and very sad. We simply do not see eye to eye with each other.

Still, there is a way to handle this which might be successful. Stick with safe subjects around them. Obviously, technology and your personal relationships are both dangerous grounds. So, stick with something else.

Family should be about happiness. If one's family only adds to one's stress level, they're not good for much. Surely there are some safe topics you can discuss with them. Sports, favorite TV shows, fond memories from your childhood (if you have any), etc. Talk about that stuff! And skip the heavy subjects as much as possible.

There are certain things that parents owe to their children. In your case, you're married. In any conflict between you and your wife, you have to take her side. She's your wife and they have to find a way to make peace with that. Sadly, there's not much you can do to make them do what they need to do when it comes to accepting your wife. But the fact remains that they have the obligation to accept her.

It's a challenging situation, no doubt about it. But I wish you well.

Neostarwcc · Sep 24, 2020

Gracia Singh said:
Most of us are theologians in our head, dude.

I would focus on saving money, as much as possible. It's ok to have a hobby, and it's ok to be on disability if you are truly disabled. But based on some of your past posts, it sounds like focusing on taking care of yourself, taking care of your home, and if you eventually feel able, exploring the possibility of earning some income, even if from home, or from a side business, should all be priorities for you right now.

Families often have theological gaps. It happens. Do the best you can to build bridges, love your parents, and leave the rest to God. He loves them too.

Yeah I was meant to be a theologian in my head, God didn't want that career path from me. Tbch, as of this second idk what he wants from me now. I'm going to have to pray and wait and follow your advice. It's great.

I hate to admit this...

Just a library lady

Well-Known Member

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

Follower of the way, the truth, and the life....

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

A sinner saved by God's astounding grace and love

Follower of the way, the truth, and the life....

Well-Known Member

Newbie

If God is your Father, who is your Mother?

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

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