I speak from experience here. I know where you are coming from. I felt that...
A couple years ago I had a health issue. It could have been terminal. I went to surgery and there was a chance I would die in surgery. But I had time before my surgery. Time to think and reflect.
Leading up to the surgery, I began to write letters to loved ones. I began to journal about the things I wished would happen "after I died".
I assumed death was inevitable and I regretted the things I had not done. I regretted the future my kids would have. I regretted the missed opportunities to share Jesus with my friends. And I realized the important mistakes and omissions I had made in my life.
I had really, really screwed up my priorities. I had wasted my life worrying if I would miss a show on TV. I lived in a world where I "needed" things. I was entitled.
Finally the day came, I had cried about life regrets and missed opportunities. But this was my D-Day. They were going to put me under and I fully expected to find myself hearing the angels sing "holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty" when I woke up. I assumed I would die and leave my kids and wife behind. I remember crying as they began the IV to put me to sleep. My wife was there. I remember thinking that I should have done more to be a leader for my family, but that was now in her hands and in God's hands. Things went dark.
I woke up hours later. The risky surgery worked. I was given a second chance on life. It was time to make changes...
I looked at those journals. I looked at those letters I had written. It was time to pursue those dreams. These dreams were not like "oh I wish to see Paris"... These dreams were like "I want my daughter to know Jesus and never stop loving Him"... Perspective helps!
When you get to that day where you can count your days left on one hand, you will regret the missed opportunities to serve God. You will regret the love you did not show. You will regret not saying "I'm sorry."
Things you won't regret... Making enough money, missing the end of that TV series, that your football team lost another superbowl.
But your life probably seems hopeless because your vision is too small. God has a plan for you. You are looking at your old shoes, your small room in your small apartment, etc. and seeing failure. Look bigger. None of that matters. Step out of your comfort zone and jump.
I guarantee your life will be forever changed if you commit for a week to do the following:
- Unplug the TV
- Disconnect from facebook
- Write a letter to a loved one with the perspective that you have one week to live (don't send it, just put down what you would say).
- Make a list of 7 people, one for each day, give them a call, tell them you love them and pray with them.
Now comes the choice. Do what you wish, but getting out of a situation requires an action. Sometimes we choose the action, sometimes that action is chosen for us. How will your move take place?
