I hate OCD

[HopingForJesus]

I hate it. I am tired of it. I just want a brain that works the right way.
I know hate is a strong word, but it is truly how I feel. I am surviving, but when will I get past the point and be a better child of God. I worry about everything constantly and sometimes have trouble separating what is rational fear as opposed to irrational fear cuz it seems my irrational fears have a rational basis. I am just venting. Why does it have to travel over into my Christian life. It would be nice if I could get more control over it. I take medicine, can't really get therapy right now because of finances. I have my good and bad days but I am seemingly depressed each day because of fear of my own thoughts. I try to avoid them by sleeping or obsessing over learning about gem stones here and there. I am even afraid to talk about my worst fears. I need a vacation from it. I want to be able to do some good in this world and fight the good fight. I don't want to deal with OCD.

 

[LadyL]

Hon, I know exactly how you feel. I hate it too, and like you have good and bad days, but also hope for a brain that works the right way- those are my thoughts many times.

And like you, hate that it inteferes with every part of my life, especially my life as a Christian.
I prayed for you.

 

[zingiber]

Ditto ditto ditto dittooooooo!

I hate OCD with all of my guts. I wish that I did not have it; but I do, and God must have some reason, so try to cope I must! I just wish it had stuck where it causes less trouble. Ah, the good old days when my worries were fear that looking at an obese person would make me fat or fear of contamination or fear of spontaneous combustion or fear of house fire!

OCD did serve some purpose though: it turned me back to God when I was in danger of turning away and living selfishly. So I suppose that we must all just trust that, as in all things, God has a bigger design for what he is doing with us, and that he will pull us safely out through the other end.

 

[zingiber]

What do you mean about the gem stones? Is it something you read about to distract yourself?

 

[127.0.0.1]

If my OCD would focus on things like, homework, then that'd be great! I'd constantly be getting A's! But no...no...it doesn't work like that. Uuuuuuuuugh.

 

[Everlasting33]

Sometimes it helps to look at the positive side of your worries/anxieties. You care and you are idealistic. You want to do better and be better. You have a desire to improve your relationship with God.

Every weakness or issue also has a strength and I have learned to look for those strengths to bring me inspiration and objectivity.

I hope you try it out too

 

[romans8one]

I hate it. I am tired of it. I just want a brain that works the right way.
I know hate is a strong word, but it is truly how I feel. I am surviving, but when will I get past the point and be a better child of God. I worry about everything constantly and sometimes have trouble separating what is rational fear as opposed to irrational fear cuz it seems my irrational fears have a rational basis. I am just venting. Why does it have to travel over into my Christian life. It would be nice if I could get more control over it. I take medicine, can't really get therapy right now because of finances. I have my good and bad days but I am seemingly depressed each day because of fear of my own thoughts. I try to avoid them by sleeping or obsessing over learning about gem stones here and there. I am even afraid to talk about my worst fears. I need a vacation from it. I want to be able to do some good in this world and fight the good fight. I don't want to deal with OCD.

i completely agree, i've been fighting this stuff for 8 years now, and it just wears and tears on a person. i feel like i don't have a normal relationship with God. i feel that it's all messed up

 

[HopingForJesus]

Thank you for all your responses. A lot of food for thought.
Zingiber, yes I love to read about gemstones, but I know there are other things I should be putting my time into.
Steelerbred, I have honestly never looked at it that way. But, it sounds like something I should definitely try.
Command-yeah it is like the ocd is always focused on the negative things that can happen. There has got to be some way to change the thought processes in our favor.
LadyL thank you for sharing and for the prayer, I can use all the prayer I can get just like all of us here on this board.
Romans8one-yeah sometimes it feels like my relationship with God is all skewed and that bugs me the most.

I am blessed however to be able to come here on this forum and talk with others like me. It keeps me from giving up. May God be with all of you.

Peace

 

[127.0.0.1]

Deleted.