I hate life

[ravendta]

Don't know why I'm posting this... Everyone around here seems to think that saying, "Give it all to God" somehow helps. I've been throwing my problems to God for seven years now - and nothing has changed.

I wake up every morning wondering why I'm here. I wonder why I'm forced to endure the torture that is life. I wonder what the point is to such a cruel world. I wonder why people treat each other so harshly in society. I wonder why society has accepted a way of life in which people work their lives away to save up barely enough money so that they can retire when they're too old to enjoy it. I wonder what's the point of putting myself through such a world, especially when my own goals and aspirations have just hit one iron wall after another.

I hate this world. I hate society. I hate life. I don't want to be here. I didn't ask to be born. Why did God put me here? Yeah, yeah, I know he's got some "grand plan" for me, but that doesn't mean it'll be something I'll enjoy. While God's plans are always for my best interest, they are RARELY (at least in my lifetime) enjoyable experiences. In my life, the lessons of God have been more like spankings from an angry mother instead of teachings from a loving father.

I just want to know what my purpose is. I'm 25 years old, still living with my parents, and haven't had a date in seven years. I suffer from anxiety disorders and depression (duh), and the simple act of meeting people terrifies me. And as much as I WANT to do it, suicide is not something I'm capable of.

Which leaves me pretty much trapped in this torture chamber.

I don't want to be here on this earth anymore. I have prayed many times in the past for God to release me from this pathetic life of mine. Let me get hit by a truck, shot by a robber, or killed by a heart attack - I don't care how it happens, I just want to be freed from this hell.

But God hasn't answered any of my other prayers... No reason to believe he'll answer this one.

Sorry I bothered you people here. I know my petty problems are insignificant compared to the many more complex issues facing others out there these days. I just... feel like I'm trapped in a life I don't want.

And I want out.

DTA

 

[Everglaze]

You're not alone on how you feel ravendta. Often times, the way you are feeling right now is exactly the way I feel too. In fact, how you described all of that is almost deadpoint identical to mine.

I wondered why I was born here too, like there wasn't anything left for me to do here and I wanted out. I have felt like being run over by a truck or killed the next day, wondering why I even woke up, wishing the night before that it would be my final sleep.

I often think of life as a torture chamber too, as if we must lead this life of nothingness to the ends of time. I mean, it's easy for people to say that you can do this or that and point out suggestions. But, it isn't easy for the receiver who is feeling in a depressive state of burdensome solitude to exactly take that into consideration.

I get tired of the repetition and just wish I faded away, knowing it wouldn't make a single difference in this world. I'm 22 and I still live with my parents. Meeting people terrifies me also. I have started to believe that, whatever happens in other people's lives, yet doesn't happen in mine, just doesn't exist to me. The thought of suicide crosses my mind a lot too, and I wish I could take my life, but I guess I'm a wimp. All throughout high school, I thought life was nothing but misery after misery, and thought, "Why should I smile and be happy? When there isn't anything to be happy about?"

The thing is though, right now, about what we go through...are hardships, but we must always endure to the end. What we receive in the end is far greater than all of this and beyond our comprehension. We have to be rather patient. I know the feeling is always constantly itching away at you from all angles, and you want to be released sooner than later, but if we take the focus off ourselves and put it on God, the act of serving him becomes rather "worth" it...if you know what I mean.

I'm a very moody guy and all my life, I haven't felt wanted at all. Even my relationship with my parents isn't all that deep, just a little something here and there and that's love? Throughout my entire life, I have never received a single hug from anyone. Throughout my entire life, I have only felt neglected and rejected from social groups and I ended up feeling left out all the time. It came to the point where it just wasn't easy to start conversations either, because I knew nobody would care...even if they listened. It'd be like, yeah I said something but the person heard something better from someone else, so they're going to just kind of ignore me now. I always felt like I'd be the last person the other person would come up and talk to, in a room crowded with people. Meaning, if the room was empty and the only people were me and that other person, that's when he/she would come up to talk to me. I'm not someone who really likes myself at all. Many times have I felt worthless, but remember that, even if the entire world rejects you, God doesn't. You still have him to talk to.

I know none of this helps much at all, especially when you're feeling like you need immediate answers or solutions, but all I can say is, we just gotta keep fighting.

 

[all things through Christ]

It's good that you hate the world and society in the sense you don't want to be like it. But you shouldn't have resentment about it. Sorry maybe that doesn't sound appropriate in your desperate situation.

Sure it won't help you to be living with your parents all your life. I'm doing fine I'm only 17 I love my parents but i really want out! You have a lot going for you because you're young and are desperate for things only Jesus can give you. A lot of people are in total denial and say they're life is fine without Him. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for like 15 years of my life (yes, since birth). When I was six I accepted Christ as my personal Savior. But people have to be honest and admit that we cannot believe that Jesus can make us well without His helping us to believe that. Obviously you have a lot of doubt about that... but I know you know a person can't help you, you have to be looking for God and I think that's what you're doing.

So anyways, I have had a lot of different spiritual stages, like a few years ago I was involved in criminal activities and I tried drugs (they didn't do anything). Occasionally in my more desperate moments I would pray that Jesus would give me some way out. I could hardly pray to God, I would just say a prayer like that with much discouragement and continue doing what He hates.

Over time I have been forced to evaluate my life. You know when you think something you know is wrong but you feel like you have to stay with that thought? Like if you did something really stupid and someone asks you if you'd do it again and say yes (for whatever reason, stubbornness desperation pride... ultimately being deceived). More and more I found that I was doing illogical things like trying to get back at people, I came to realize that it was only hurting myself and found the strength to change my ways. So I improved in some ways, other people were praying for me. And then I came to my ultimate realization, that life is meaningless without Christ.

At one point my mom had me take drugs for anxiety and depression. They didn't do anything. One day I decided to spend a lot of time in prayer because I hate anxiety. It took me being real honest with myself and God (saying things aloud really helps me to understand myself more thoughts are a lot harder to deal with) and commitment. Because if my anxiety goes away... what is that to me if I don't have Christ. In fact the only way it is good to not be anxious is because it is demonic activity that takes you farther away from God. Be separated from God completely no matter where you are it is hell and be with completely with God and it CANNOT be any better. God knows everything, He has everything figured out from the start. If you knew everything don't you think you'd know how and have the deisre to love and be loved? Where else is there purpose in life?

Consider if God answered your prayers. If you didn't already make a decision to become closer to Him then you might say "thanks God" and be fine. But you wouldn't be fine. Because He is what you need. And if He meets all your needs (without you having desire for Him) you'd have no motivations to want Him.

If you reject satan you have to fully accept the Holy Spirit

In the Name of Jesus I bind any deceiving spirits from stongholds they have in Revendta's mind. Evil spirits have no permission or authority to be here because Ravendta is a child of God and by Christ's power all bonds are broken. Fully accept the Holy Spirit and have desire to do His pleasing perfect will in your life to be a testimony to others. There is no way to be trapped any longer when God reveals His Truth. God has given you not a spirit of fear but one of power, love, and a sound mind.

 

[all things through Christ]

You're not alone on how you feel ravendta. Often times, the way you are feeling right now is exactly the way I feel too. In fact, how you described all of that is almost deadpoint identical to mine.

I wondered why I was born here too, like there wasn't anything left for me to do here and I wanted out. I have felt like being run over by a truck or killed the next day, wondering why I even woke up, wishing the night before that it would be my final sleep.

I often think of life as a torture chamber too, as if we must lead this life of nothingness to the ends of time. I mean, it's easy for people to say that you can do this or that and point out suggestions. But, it isn't easy for the receiver who is feeling in a depressive state of burdensome solitude to exactly take that into consideration.

I get tired of the repetition and just wish I faded away, knowing it wouldn't make a single difference in this world. I'm 22 and I still live with my parents. Meeting people terrifies me also. I have started to believe that, whatever happens in other people's lives, yet doesn't happen in mine, just doesn't exist to me. The thought of suicide crosses my mind a lot too, and I wish I could take my life, but I guess I'm a wimp. All throughout high school, I thought life was nothing but misery after misery, and thought, "Why should I smile and be happy? When there isn't anything to be happy about?"

The thing is though, right now, about what we go through...are hardships, but we must always endure to the end. What we receive in the end is far greater than all of this and beyond our comprehension. We have to be rather patient. I know the feeling is always constantly itching away at you from all angles, and you want to be released sooner than later, but if we take the focus off ourselves and put it on God, the act of serving him becomes rather "worth" it...if you know what I mean.

I'm a very moody guy and all my life, I haven't felt wanted at all. Even my relationship with my parents isn't all that deep, just a little something here and there and that's love? Throughout my entire life, I have never received a single hug from anyone. Throughout my entire life, I have only felt neglected and rejected from social groups and I ended up feeling left out all the time. It came to the point where it just wasn't easy to start conversations either, because I knew nobody would care...even if they listened. It'd be like, yeah I said something but the person heard something better from someone else, so they're going to just kind of ignore me now. I always felt like I'd be the last person the other person would come up and talk to, in a room crowded with people. Meaning, if the room was empty and the only people were me and that other person, that's when he/she would come up to talk to me. I'm not someone who really likes myself at all. Many times have I felt worthless, but remember that, even if the entire world rejects you, God doesn't. You still have him to talk to.

I know none of this helps much at all, especially when you're feeling like you need immediate answers or solutions, but all I can say is, we just gotta keep fighting.

About you saying that nobody cares what you say... God hates sin and the bad thoughts and things in our minds. That is who we are. But God doesn't hate anyone (it really depends on how you define what a person is, which is sorta what this is about) because we're all the same in that we are beings that experience emotions and feelings. God doesn't want anyone to have negative emotions and stuff. The thing is if we accept deceiving spirits and spirits of oppression... We have to be rebuked and have the strength to make them leave by Christ's power. We must be punished and disciplined for wrong! Ultimately we need truth to know what is best... and that is what God is! Whoever does not discipline his son hates his son.

It is written: "Jesus Christ is the Word of God", He has no deceit in Him and His mind is always on things of Scripture (lovely, pure, admirable...)

I think people like us come to realize our calling more than "normal" people, you know like Paul had such a drastic life change, maybe it's about going to extremes, but whatever you do life your life for Christ He suffered for you alone!

Uh oh I need to go now and anyone who wants to talk on the phone can PM me for my number

 

[koban4max]

My friend,

Why are you so depressed? Huh? God created you in this sinful world for a reason. Why are you so depressed? You shouldn't be. I mean you have a life and you are living it. God didn't just randomly picked you to die in vain. Why aren't more appreciatative with God is doing for you. Yo may feel that God haven't been answering your prayers, but you know? He actually did. You, my friend, are so blind by the world with hidden truth. Look, just another day I could of been dead because the gate closed on me when I was in the car. It crushed my car in half and yet, I wasn't hurt at all. That tells me that I should looking to God because he always been there for me. I get accidents like these 5 times in a year (well...less than a year). The point is that you gotta be more appreciatative what God is doing for you. It may not be now...but you will have a calling from God. Maybe it's not to your liking that you are about to serve god, but he knows way better than yourself. You don't think things are happening for a reason? Shame on you, you turned away from God? Can you see what i'm saying. Your focus wasn't on God.
You need to pray to god harder about getting of rid of your own burden.
When you mentioned about that God will not answer your current prayer, dude, you got a problem. You know why? You DON"T have any faith.
Look, I'm 23 with no job and I just recently graduated from college. I majored in Criminal Justice, but I knew that wasn't for me. You understand what i'm saying? I am currently staying with my parent's house. I lost 23 years because of my dumb Criminal Justice major. However, I didn't lose everything. I sort of found my passion. It was music. I took the class in music production and dude,...people were telling me I can make music. Do you see where I'm coming from? You will find your destination in time...just wait and have God work with you on his timing. You are not lost my friend, you just need to chill and pray to God. Always!!!! The only reason why your life is unsatisfactory is because it's really about you. It's about God. When you dedicate yourself to God, he will bless you with wonderful gift. When you also mentioned about "spanking," dude, that was the love from God. You don't get it, do you? These horrible lessons are suppose to be there for you to grow. There were major lessons to be learned from your incidents. I, for myself, wouldn't know your situation, but I do know there were reasons to happen. It's funny when you mentioned about suicide..or getting hit..sorry, but I was laughing at that. At the same time, I know what you going through, because I recently went through it. The problem why you can't die..is mainly because it's not your time. You got to fulfill the lord's plan. I believe this, because one time, I almost got killed on the freeway. But...God shown me the path to get out of there. I had to take the express lane (or diamond lane), which was open for me to go there. If I stayed when it was traffic...man ..I would of died by a red truck. Just being crushed..you understand? My time to die isn't there yet..it's far from it. Also, don't worry about getting a girl, or a date, because god has a special someone for you.
You need to focus on God and ask him to help you out. God knows you from the past to the future. He created you.
He loves you and never will abandon you...got it? Now..keep ya head straight...seriously..

much love..
ya brother..

koban4max

 

[mikeforjesus]

I dont like that above post nothing personal but I dont think it helps. But I didnt read the whole thing, maybe half of it.

 

[koban4max]

I dont like that above post nothing personal but I dont think it helps. But I didnt read the whole thing, maybe half of it.

You may not find it useful..but it does to me..thank you

 

[koban4max]

maybe it was a sin...maybe devil tried to decieve you thinking you were actually talking to god

 

[john7angel]

maybe it was a sin...maybe devil tried to decieve you thinking you were actually talking to god

No, it was God, as when Gods talks to you, unless when he speak too you, it isn't God?
Seems as if when you say its from God and one disagrees with the subject, its from the devil. It amazes me that a christian that helps another with a issue that God helped them out with, its the devil because you don't agree with what that issue. You should look at the medical report of cannabis for bp/manic depression? It really does help.
Love you brother or sister, but i do know it was God 100%

 

[koban4max]

No, it was God, as when Gods talks to you, unless when he speak too you, it isn't God?
Seems as if when you say its from God and one disagrees with the subject, its from the devil. It amazes me that a christian that helps another with a issue that God helped them out with, its the devil because you don't agree with what that issue. You should look at the medical report of cannabis for bp/manic depression? It really does help.
Love you brother or sister, but i do know it was God 100%

I, pesonally, wouldn't know if god encourages me to smoke weed.
You understand what i'm saying...i wouldn't know.
Maybe cocaine will help me live longer..by praying.
It's all from your experience..I can go along with you said.
I'm just making an ideal of it.
I'm not trying to promote discouraggement or anything.
It's just ..ya know..weed..is drug (so they say).

 

[john7angel]

I, pesonally, wouldn't know if god encourages me to smoke weed.
You understand what i'm saying...i wouldn't know.
Maybe cocaine will help me live longer..by praying.
It's all from your experience..I can go along with you said.
I'm just making an ideal of it.
I'm not trying to promote discouraggement or anything.
It's just ..ya know..weed..is drug (so they say).

No, its not a drug, its a medicine. A medicine for cancer, Aids and other ILLNESSES, if you didn't have this illness, then its a drug. BIG DIFFERANCE.

God Bless, John

 

[koban4max]

No, its not a drug, its a medicine. A medicine for cancer, Aids and other ILLNESSES, if you didn't have this illness, then its a drug. BIG DIFFERANCE.

God Bless, John

oh ok...sorry, but didn't mean to insult ya though.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Viktor Frankl

Read his stuff.

 

[koban4max]

Viktor Frankl

Read his stuff.

You are right..i am going to check it out.

 

[TheWinterGaze]

Ravendta,

I am not sure if this book will help you to see some purpose with life. Anyway, I think it's an easy-to-read book, divided into 40 brief chapters and the author suggests reading 1 chapter each day.

"The purpose driven life" by Rick Warren - What on earth am i here for?

I don't know if it will lift you up a little or not. I hope it will. Anyway, it's a good bed-time read with a cup of hot chocolate

Keep going, mate! We are trodding together through life ...

WG

 

[Mr.Cheese]

And for the OP...
I don't like it here either. Never have.
But life has no warranty or money back guarantee for when it sucks.
All I can do is choose to make the best of things.

 

[Captain_Tripp]

Don't know why I'm posting this... Everyone around here seems to think that saying, "Give it all to God" somehow helps. I've been throwing my problems to God for seven years now - and nothing has changed.

I wake up every morning wondering why I'm here. I wonder why I'm forced to endure the torture that is life. I wonder what the point is to such a cruel world. I wonder why people treat each other so harshly in society. I wonder why society has accepted a way of life in which people work their lives away to save up barely enough money so that they can retire when they're too old to enjoy it. I wonder what's the point of putting myself through such a world, especially when my own goals and aspirations have just hit one iron wall after another.

I hate this world. I hate society. I hate life. I don't want to be here. I didn't ask to be born. Why did God put me here? Yeah, yeah, I know he's got some "grand plan" for me, but that doesn't mean it'll be something I'll enjoy. While God's plans are always for my best interest, they are RARELY (at least in my lifetime) enjoyable experiences. In my life, the lessons of God have been more like spankings from an angry mother instead of teachings from a loving father.

I just want to know what my purpose is. I'm 25 years old, still living with my parents, and haven't had a date in seven years. I suffer from anxiety disorders and depression (duh), and the simple act of meeting people terrifies me. And as much as I WANT to do it, suicide is not something I'm capable of.

Which leaves me pretty much trapped in this torture chamber.

I don't want to be here on this earth anymore. I have prayed many times in the past for God to release me from this pathetic life of mine. Let me get hit by a truck, shot by a robber, or killed by a heart attack - I don't care how it happens, I just want to be freed from this hell.

But God hasn't answered any of my other prayers... No reason to believe he'll answer this one.

Sorry I bothered you people here. I know my petty problems are insignificant compared to the many more complex issues facing others out there these days. I just... feel like I'm trapped in a life I don't want.

And I want out.

DTA

thats how i just felt like 2 but i prayed & talked 2 a friend & now im just bout better.ya wanna pm me ya can!its always open.cause im that type of person alot,...deperssed type.so come on in @ any time!

 

[BOJAX]

for what it's worth...
t really helps when you understand that as sinners (or Christians for that matter) we all must suffer. It is easier on us Christians, however, when you put struggles into perspective and come to the realization that we all must pick up and carry that cross at one point or another. Jesus was perfect, but he did the same. It helps to think that we are all just participating in his sufferings. However, we have the advantage of his help when we need it. Pray sincerely, having faith. He will bring you out of it. There will be more struggles to come but he will save you from them all. ha has already saved you thus far, lest you would not have posted here. And when you enter the kingdom of God and look back on all you have been through. How wonderful would it be to rejoice along with Christ in all his glory, and to be glorified by him. What would it be like to look back from heaven and see no struggles? Only a straight and clear path? How glorious would that be? Praise God for saving you. Take it one day at a time. The future has enough trouble on its own (Matthew 6:34).

Praying for you!
-Jamie

 

[TheWinterGaze]

Ravendta,

Just a thought - I think maybe devote yourself in a fellowship group will help. When you are alone facing this cruel world and living in this harsh society, it will overwhelm you for sure (for me, anyway). Maybe you need somewhere to belong. You are living with your family, that's great, and that's probably where your entire sense of belonging is. But more important, you need to have an even stronger sense of belonging to God's family, so that you can live in this harsh world and do not feel the obligation to belong to it, or feeling trapped in it - and that's the freedom living in this fallen world.... the same freedom or release you are longing for - the only difference is that you can stay alive in order to experience it

Keep going! You will find freedom along the way!

WG

 

[NJA]

Hello ravendta - you simply need to *receive* the Life that Jesus made available !

Acts 2:4: And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.
v33: Therefore being by the right hand of God exalted, and having received of the Father the promise of the Holy Ghost, he hath shed forth this, which ye now see and hear . . . 39: For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.

That means you and me !

I'll PM u with further details.