I hate GOD.... help!

[thereselittleflower]

Well... What I meant by "do whatever you want with me" is that im fully submitting myself to him... because i fully trusted him and knew that he knows what's best for me than myself... however, i only asked him to let me feel his love.... you tell me that he loves me and his love can be manifested in a caring post... but i dont feel that love... maybe god gave me a failry good life (from this world point of view) but it never satisfied me... i do not want to receive gifts from god so i can know that he loves me... i want to feel god's love not god's gifts...

also you say that it is all in my hands... how come? one question here: do we fully control our emotions? i do not think so... i do not think we can control who to really love (from emotional point of view)... we can on the other side control how to act with others... we can choose to treat them good and do them good... but we cant control how we really feel about them deep inside...
Same applies to my relationship with god... i can obey him... trust him... but i can not CHOOSE to love him (from the emotional point of view)... it is simply not in my hands... that's why i was asking god to let me love him really... but he never responded.... i kept praying honestly for a long time trusting him... but no reply... what else can i do?
I do not know what to do... but im begging for love all the time and god knows that very well... but he never tries to fulfill any of my desires.... he created me a very emotional person... but he made me not in control of my emotions (whom to love) and he made me so much in need of love that nothing fulfills my desires....

please help me. and please do not simply quote from passages that TALK about god's love... because love is not simply words written.

I am really tired and lost... god totally left me suffering... i am in pain to the extent that i decided from some time ago that ill compleltley forget about god and live without him... but after sometime... i try to look for him again because i cant bear the pain... so it is not him who is even looking for me or wants me back... when i told him "i dont want u anymore... u betrayed me" he simply told me "ok u may go...i do not need u in anything".... is that love????

May I recommend that you look at another life who, for 50 years, felt no presence of God, no consolations (you are asking for consolations, feelings of God's love for you).

Saint Mother Theresa. . . . ..


If what you are saying is true, it could very well that God is allowing you to experience the Dark Night of the Soul. . . . For each He does so, it varies how long it lasts. I have know of people for whom it lasted a matter of weeks, for others a matter of years, and then Mother Theresa, for whom it lasted almost her entire life.


The Dark Night is a great gift, though while you are in it, desparate as you feel right now, it is impossible to understand that.

In the Dark Night, God is so close to you, that your senses have been totally blinded and can sense nothing.


But you are closer to God than I am.


May I recommend that you read St John of The Cross . . The Dark Night of the Soul.

http://www.ccel.org/ccel/john_cross/dark_night.html

You can click on the link that says "Read Online" or any of the other links to access it.


It will answer all your questions that need answering . . . . .


.

 

[thereselittleflower]

simplywhy, I want you to know that the mixture of fear, anger and desparation and sheer agony of spirit I experienced was so intense, the abandonment so complete, th darkness so total, that my anger towards God burned hot for His being so unfair to me, and it pushed me to within a hairsbreadth of blasheming the Holy Spirit . .. . others will not understand unless they have gone through something similar.

Then, on the very verge of speaking words that would have sealed my eternal fate, other words came out from somewhere deep inside . . .

I said

"NO! Whatever God may do to me, yet I will still trust Him."​

And in my heart I thought 'even if He leaves me like this for the rest of my life.' Never again have I considered such an act.

I want you to know I understand because I have been there.


I found my answers in that book above, and others like it . . . old books from Christians who knew these depths of the Christian walk.


Please take time to read it .. . ..




.

 

[wailingandgnashing]

i will uplift your precious soul in all my prayers.

gbu

wailingandgnashing

 

[Hammster]

Unfortunately, there are times when all of us feel let down by God, or that God has just left us. I lost my job in January, and I was a bit miffed because I was praying, but I asked and did not receive because I asked amiss. It is much easier to see now, four months later, that I was all messed up and did not put myself in a position for God to bless me. In other words, my sin caused my termination, even though I didn't do anything to get fired for. It was the discipline of God. And no discipline seems good when you are experiencing it, but after a while, yous see the benefits that God loves you.

So you may need to examine what is going on with your life and be really honest. It can't be superficial stuff. It has to be a real examination on your current state, the sin in your life and your attitude. And there could be another reason you are feeling this way: maybe God is wanting you to go in a direction that you aren't ready to acknowledge. I don't know. But it does take some real honesty.

But one thing I really want you to understand: you don't need to 'feel' God's love for you. You do need to acknowledge that He does love you and that was demonstrated that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Don't rely on your heart, for the heart is deceptive above things. Rely on the truth of God's word.

Just for perspective, I know my wife loves me. Do I still have the mooshy feelings that I had when we were first married? No. But I know that she loves me because of what she does for me, and what she does for the kids. It isn't a 'feeling', but a knowledge. Same with God; it isn't alway a mountain top experience, but we need to go through the valleys to get to the mountains.

 

[marshgreencohen]

leep yout faith on the guard

 

[pink145]

simplywhy,
my life was never easy. i found depression at a young age and hated God so much for what was missing in my life. i didnt have family; i was abandoned, abused and forgotten. i hated myself for not being good enough. i dont know what exactly caused you to feel such pain, but trust me when i say, i do know what its like to feel alone. i used to hate God for not giving me the family i begged and pleaded for, until recently, i didnt realize that he did give it to me. in high school, i met a guy who refused to give up on me, he became my brother, and quite frankly, the only family i have. God answered my prayers, it took years but we must always remember that God's time much different from our own...this world is fleeting. one night, i told my brother about my struggles, which extend much farther then what i've told you, he told me something that i will never forget, something that i hope will help you as much as it helped me.
God loves you, he sent his only son to die on the cross for you. yeah, God loves every person hes created, but even if you were the only one, He would have sent His son to die for you. He does love you, and i know that he is just waiting for you to come home to Him. Hes waiting for you, and i know that one day, when you leave this world behind, God will take you in His arms and tell you, His child, why He had to put you through this. But remember, God only puts us through things that he knows we can handle. Stay strong. Dont be angry with God, drop to your knees and keep praying. He loves you. Dont forsake him...now, i know you said you didnt want another verse that talks about God's love, so i thought i ask you to read the piece "Footprints" by Mary Stevenson, its short, but powerful...and maybe try keeping a journal. i promise it'll help, no matter what you're going through...trust me. remember that you are never alone. my heart goes out to you.

 

[FirstLight]

Simplywhy--I think you hit the nail on the head when you talked about being a very emotional person. Your emotions perceive that you are not loved by God---you can site many examples. IMHO, this is more the root of your difficulties. As we go thru life, especially when we're young, we can go into emotional hissy fits. We discover, some time later, that it was all a matter of OUR perception and not really the case at all. Just because you feel God doesn't love you, DOES NOT make it fact. See what I mean? Emotions are not always accurate. Emotions just are,as they say. You can't seem to justify them. To me, emotional information has to pass the test of logic--rational thought. I could go on and on here about how to do that but alas there is not enough room to post it all. I think some therapy in learning how to reconcile feelings as oppossed to rational thinking might be in order here. We humans need to learn balance in all things--not living out on this pole or the other--but taking some from each in order to live a life in harmony. We can't live only on emotions, and we can't live only on logic. The first makes us a puddle of goo. The later makes us Attila the Hun.

 

[savedandhappy1]

Love is more, much more than a word. Love is action, and how much more of an action do we need to see but the Love that was shown to us by God giving His only begotten Son to die for us?

You say you can't feel His Love, then I would have to ask are you kneeling at the cross? You say you can't hear Him answer you, and I would have to ask if you have stopped talking and just listened?

I ask these questions because there has been times in my life that I felt like you, and then I realized that I wasn't taking the things that were happening to the cross and leaving them there. I wasn't stopping long enough to hear the Lord speak to me, but instead I was throwing out this long drawn out prayer, begging, pleading to hear from Him. Then I would go on my way rushing through the day, and then at bedtime, I was saying Lord why didn't you hear me, why didn't you answer me, where are you? Only to again just go to sleep and not listen for an answer.

I have found that reading and/or praying some of the scriptures in Psalms has really been a blessing to me. We are to praise the Lord in all things, and I know that it is hard to praise Him in the bad times, but then I think about how it could be worse than what it is. I think about Job, and how he never stopped praising and worshiping the Lord through it all.

You have ask for alot of things and maybe you have to go through these things so you are ready to receive the things you ask for. If you can't continue to love someone during the bad times than how can He give you someone to love? There will always be bad times mixed with the good, and so if you can't continue to love someone no matter what is going on well........

We all have lessons we need to learn and the more we ask for things the more we have to learn to be able to receive the things we ask for. I know it is hard to think this way, but maybe you are being given the lessons you need to pass the class you are majoring in.

Will be lifting you up in prayer!!

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Simplywhy,

God gives all of us his agape (head love) all the time. He's saving his phileo (heart love) for his bride.

 

[simplywhy]

Please help me.... I dont undersand... how can love be without emotions?

I am really lost and my mind is not clear and I do not know what to do... plz help me.... thanks

 

[sebastian]

if you help someone, does it have to be a very emotional thing or is it just practical? if you help someone with a pram up some stairs do you have to feel something? love is a verb, not just a noun. I beleive God is teaching you this, and also to have faith in Him without emotions, because relying on your emotions can betray you and lead you down the wrong path.

 

[simplywhy]

but this way it wont be love.... i can force myself to treat someone good while inside myself i dont even stand that person.... does that mean that i love him? no... im just forcing myself to be nice to him....
is that what god wants? force myself to be nice to others including him without feeling anything? is that what makes me "love" others and god?

 

[sebastian]

actually, it is love. read the sermon on the mount.
This might annoy you if I say this, but I am going through a similar thing. If you have the feeling of hate, do you act on it? Do your feeling dictate what is right and wrong? you need to learn in faith that God loves you, and this lack of feeling will also expose your dependancy on emotions. I have trouble feeling emotions as a I have a type of depression that supresses them. does that mean I don't love God, or other people? of course not.
you said that you prayed to God to have all your life. He has taken your prayer seriously, this includes making sure you can stand on faith over emotions, if you want to grow, if you want to be a great woman of God, you need to stand on faith and not rely on your emotions to dictate what is what.

 

[simplywhy]

well i do not know how can this be love.... is that love that god wants? forcing myself to treat others good? forcing myself to pray to him while i dont want to? forcing myself to go to church while i dont want to? how can u call that love? what is love without emotions?

why god wants me to stand on faith and not emotions? why not the reverse? i am very emotional so why not to love god really (from the emotional view) instead of simply having faith that there is a god and i should simply obey him without feeling anything toward him... this cant be love... this way we will be turned into machines that simply function without feelings.

why did god made me that emotional if emotions are not that important and will never be fulfilled? just to make me suffer?

 

[sebastian]

your half right. God doesn't want emotionless love, He wants all of you, but forcing yourself to treat others right and pray even when you don't want to is called obedience, this is true worship. He hasn't removed your emotions forever, He is drawing you in closer and closer into His heart. Do you really think your emotions can come close to encompassing and expressing the glory and majesty of God? Your emotions are very important and God made you emotional because He wants you to be like that. But you need to be refined, to learn right from wrong based on God's will, not on your heart, because your heart isn't always right. God isn't doing this just tp make you suffer, but to make you stronger and get even closer to Him. Even Jesus went through the dessert, so must we. His faith was teested, so must ours be, painful as it is, it is needed to grow.
as for faith over emotions. The bible says we need faith to do things not emotions. When we pray for people, is it our emotions or our faith that make them healed? the bible teaches faith. if you want, and I mean no offense by this, but if you only want a superficial relationship with God, then you will stick with the emotions and remain immature in Christ, but I doubt you do, or you wouldn't have prayed that prayer right?

I don't know if you have ever been in a relationship with a boyfriend or whatever, but when you first meet, couples are always feeling great and loved and stuff, but sometimes couples row, or both are just tired, do you then decide to be mean just because the feelings arn't the same? I hope not, 'cos that isn't love. what about you family, do you only help them out because your emotions tell you and don't bother when you have non? to or do you do it because you know you love them, feelings or not?
sorry for the long post!

 

[simplywhy]

why god wants me not to be guided by my heart?... if my heart isnt always right as u say, then why not god guide me to the right path instead of making me suffer?
why god does not want to fulfill my emotions... u cant imagine how needy i am in emotional terms... and the more i asked god to fulfill those needs, the more he made ppl hate me and go away
i dont think that this path of suffering is the only solution to make me better... plz dont tell me that god was out of solutions except that one... dont tell me that god was unable to find a better solution that does not hurt that much...
im lost.

 

[koban4max]

God has plan for your salvation and that's basically it. Everything else (job, money, etc) is up to you.

 

[sebastian]

why god wants me not to be guided by my heart?... if my heart isnt always right as u say, then why not god guide me to the right path instead of making me suffer?

Because you'll never grow and be strong that way.

u cant imagine how needy i am in emotional terms...

I can, I really really can. I am in pain too. But I asked for it the sam way you did, I reacted differently though blaming myself for not being good enough. It took me a while to realise by faith that God loved me, but there is so much more God needs to teach me.

i dont think that this path of suffering is the only solution to make me better... plz dont tell me that god was out of solutions except that one... dont tell me that god was unable to find a better solution that does not hurt that much...
im lost.

I don't know why God does it that way, it's big question, but your not alone in your suffering. God hasn't left you and many many others go through the same thing as you.

 

[simplywhy]

But why did God create me that weak in the first place and now trying to make me stronger? I didnt choose to be that weak and emotional... he made me so.. so why he fixes something that i did not commit myself by hurting me...

and if love is as u said.. then no need for feelings... what u r saying is obedience not love.

i dont know what to do with my emotional needs... they are growing in an ubnormal way and i dont know what to do... please help me.

 

[sebastian]

We are all weak, we are all fallen creatures, we have lived our lives without God, and now we have to get use to it. God isn't hurting you for fun, I guess it's just how it is, like getting a thorn out of your finger, it hurts trying to get it out but then once it is taken out it's for the better.
obediance is the product of love, we love without realising it with emotions. obedience is still your choice, it's not an order, do it or else. do you see the difference?

i dont know what to do with my emotional needs... they are growing in an ubnormal way and i dont know what to do... please help me.

I'm afraid I don't really understand what you mean, I don't know your situation fully and to be honest I'd recommend that you speak to a person in the flesh with deeper and personal issues. I mean speak to them about your deeper issues.

Have you asked God why? have you spoken to God about your feelings openly? be honest with God.