I hate being single!

[Ave Maria]

I think you're nuts.

You need to develop yourself to the point where you enjoy your own company. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be married but to just plain hate single life is sad. Most people that hate single life are boring and uninteresting people. Don't you have things you like to do? Career? Hobbies? How about that masters program? How about picking up something new to learn? Speaking another language.
All of those things make people irresistable to the opposite sex.

I don't really hate single life. It's just that it gets so depressing. I mean, my sister who is 20 is married with a 1 year old baby. I just get so lonely and it is so depressing. I would love to be married and pregnant with a baby. I hope that God will someday bring me my soulmate but sometimes I just worry that God wants me to be single and I really do not want to be single.

 

[invisiblebabe]

in the mean time, i am trying to make the most of my singleness cause it could change, really, at any time.....

That's an awesome way to look at it... and very true, too.... 'cause when I think about it, many people I know who are engaged/married now had it all happen like that *snaps fingers* when it started going on...

 

[carmi]

I mean, my sister who is 20 is married with a 1 year old baby. I just get so lonely and it is so depressing. I would love to be married and pregnant with a baby. I hope that God will someday bring me my soulmate but sometimes I just worry that God wants me to be single and I really do not want to be single.

I have two sisters - both got married and had children at a very young age. When I was the age they got married I dated for the first time. If all's said and done I got into a relationship because I felt awkward, people (friends and family) got worried whether I will ever find anyone. No, I am not blaming them ... I am blaming myself for giving in to that. Needless to say, the relationship ended after 3 years. I did not get married, so no divorce and I moved on with my life. Packed up, went to a bigger city and concentrated on my job. Life was beginning to feel good and I decided not to get into the same "trap" of thinking I need to get married before I reach a certain age.

Then I got saved and that changed every thing.

I got around, travelled and lived in different countries. I was free - my sister tied down with kids and husbands. Their words, not mine. They would love to but can't go to places. The same sisters who scorned me, ended up a decade later feeling envy. They love their kids, it's not that they resent their husbands or kids ... but they realize they could have waited and take care of their education, their career before rushing into marriage. Being married, taking care of kids and then trying to study in the late evening so that they have a chance at a job once the kids are old enough, is not an easy task.

You need to make up your mind: you want to be married and pregnant now or you want to wait for the man God wants you to have as a husband and father of your children. If you decide the latter (waiting on God) two things will happen: you don't feel lonely and you won't be depressed. Feelings of loneliness and depression enter when you start getting frustrated because God does not do what we want Him do when we want Him to do it.

 

[Wild_Fan4Christ]

I have two sisters - both got married and had children at a very young age. When I was the age they got married I dated for the first time. If all's said and done I got into a relationship because I felt awkward, people (friends and family) got worried whether I will ever find anyone. No, I am not blaming them ... I am blaming myself for giving in to that. Needless to say, the relationship ended after 3 years. I did not get married, so no divorce and I moved on with my life. Packed up, went to a bigger city and concentrated on my job. Life was beginning to feel good and I decided not to get into the same "trap" of thinking I need to get married before I reach a certain age.

Then I got saved and that changed every thing.

I got around, travelled and lived in different countries. I was free - my sister tied down with kids and husbands. Their words, not mine. They would love to but can't go to places. The same sisters who scorned me, ended up a decade later feeling envy. They love their kids, it's not that they resent their husbands or kids ... but they realize they could have waited and take care of their education, their career before rushing into marriage. Being married, taking care of kids and then trying to study in the late evening so that they have a chance at a job once the kids are old enough, is not an easy task.

You need to make up your mind: you want to be married and pregnant now or you want to wait for the man God wants you to have as a husband and father of your children. If you decide the latter (waiting on God) two things will happen: you don't feel lonely and you won't be depressed. Feelings of loneliness and depression enter when you start getting frustrated because God does not do what we want Him do when we want Him to do it.

Wow carmi, that is an awesome post. I have three sisters and the oldest one is married with one kid. Everyone scorns me but she is the one who gives me a hard time the most for my singleness. Your post put a new light on things. Thanks

 

[Tuffguy]

I don't really hate single life. It's just that it gets so depressing. I mean, my sister who is 20 is married with a 1 year old baby. I just get so lonely and it is so depressing. I would love to be married and pregnant with a baby. I hope that God will someday bring me my soulmate but sometimes I just worry that God wants me to be single and I really do not want to be single.

The great thing about being single is that you can have your cake and eat it too. You can do fun things with your friends, fly to different countries w/out worrying about anything, pack up and leave to go somewhere at a moments notice, sit on your butt all day and watch tv, study all evening, you get the idea. You get to be married the WHOLE rest of your life. Worrying about if you will meet someone is no way to spend the most active and healthy part of your life. What do you have to show for the last two years? What will you have to show for the next 5?

 

[Ave Maria]

I do want to wait until whatever guy comes along that God has chosen for me but I feel like I am going to be 40 years old before I even get engaged! I know I need to be more patient but it just feels like marriage will never happen for me.

 

[chanis]

I do want to wait until whatever guy comes along that God has chosen for me but I feel like I am going to be 40 years old before I even get engaged! I know I need to be more patient but it just feels like marriage will never happen for me.

It's a natural thing to desire that special someone in life...and it can be hard having a lot of people your age married, engaged or with that special someone...but one thing you need to learn is to be content in whatever state you find yourself in even in your singleness...God has someone but it might just not be his timing for you...let God romance you and woo you and you'll see that he'll feel the void that you might be feeling...

 

[nfinitefx]

no need to hurry getting married. you're still 22 and i think you have at least another 3-4 years before you worry hehehe. and also it's better to get married late with the right person rather than hurrying to get married with the wrong person. haste makes waste

 

[Butterfly4Christ]

I think you're nuts.

You need to develop yourself to the point where you enjoy your own company. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be married but to just plain hate single life is sad. Most people that hate single life are boring and uninteresting people. Don't you have things you like to do? Career? Hobbies? How about that masters program? How about picking up something new to learn? Speaking another language.
All of those things make people irresistable to the opposite sex.

I HATE BEING SINGLE, but I am far from boring. I am very involved in my church ministries, I sing on the praise team, I work on the finance team. I go bowling ,to the movies, to cultural plays and art shows. I am back in school working towards earning my degree. I spend plenty of time with my family and friends and there significant others and I just believe that I would be a lot more happier if I had someone to share all of these wonderful memories with.

 

[Tuffguy]

You women are so darn needy!!!!

I'm so glad i'm a guy.

 

[Eagle_Wings]

lol...we just don't like being alone! I don't always like being alone right now, but I have decided that for the most part I am okay being single. I still live at home with my parents, trying to get out on my own....but I ended up screwing up my finances something horribe so I can't afford it right now. But I have decided that I want to live on my own, by myself, before I settle down and get married. Although it does depend on which day you talk to me, there are days that I dislike being single more than I dislike living at home. And yes, I am moody on top of being needy!

 

[JPPT1974]

God has someone was special for you. And if you will give him a chance, just pray and give him your needs and requests. As well as be patient. You know....be still and know that He is God. If you are meant to have a relationship..that is God's will and way. If not...then again that is God's will and way!!

 

[Colin1182]

You know, in my opinion your problem isn't a spiritual one, but a very simple psychological one (not that you are crazy or anything, of course )
If you are 22 and have been in multiple relationships ranging from 6 months to 6 years in duration, well that goes to show that you have been with someone for most of your adolescent AND adult life. Being single IS a big change, and change is almost always stressful--even when the change is for the better. Pray and ask God to help you realize the simple good things entailed in being single. I think you will grow to like (at least certain things about) being single.

 

[Kept_Woman]

If you are 22 and have been in multiple relationships ranging from 6 months to 6 years in duration, well that goes to show that you have been with someone for most of your adolescent AND adult life. Being single IS a big change, and change is almost always stressful--even when the change is for the better. Pray and ask God to help you realize the simple good things entailed in being single. I think you will grow to like (at least certain things about) being single.

I couldn't have said it better.

 

[Peculiarone]

I love singleness. Lots of freedom and more more time to spend with God.

The 2 things I dislike about it is not being able to share the expenses (just you alone) and not being able to have sex.

 

[bkg]

I've been "single" almost 12 months now. Hate it? Not so much that I hate being single, as it is that I hate not being with my wife.

Singleness is a huge adjustment for many people. Once you've experienced the love of another person - that "God in skin" feeling - it's hard to be without it.

But...

If a person cannot be content single, he/she will likely struggle to be content married. If you allow that to happen, you will miss out on two amazing things that God gives: singleness and marriage... Don't let dislike of one destroy the other...

 

[Glorianna]

I have had a few long term relationships that lasted anywhere from 6 months to approximately 6 years. Unfortunately, all of those relationships have ended and I am single. I hate being single. My sister who is 20 is already married and a lot of my friends are either married or are getting engaged to be married. I feel like I'll never be married! Does anyone else ever feel this way?

A lot of my friends do. (I'm engaged.) They're always talking about how hard it is now that everyone seems to be getting engaged or married. I can understand that and know that you might not want to listen to what I have to say because I'm engaged but I'm going to try to help you anyway. Take this time to draw closer to God. He knows how you long not to be single anymore. Do His work and trust that His timing is perfect. I will be praying for you.

 

[KeilCoppes]

Give it another 10, Tuffguy, and you may start hearing the echoes yourself. :^)

There is just something about not being alone that makes a difference, even if all you're doing is sharing the same room.

 

[Ave Maria]

You know, in my opinion your problem isn't a spiritual one, but a very simple psychological one (not that you are crazy or anything, of course )
If you are 22 and have been in multiple relationships ranging from 6 months to 6 years in duration, well that goes to show that you have been with someone for most of your adolescent AND adult life. Being single IS a big change, and change is almost always stressful--even when the change is for the better. Pray and ask God to help you realize the simple good things entailed in being single. I think you will grow to like (at least certain things about) being single.

Yeah, that's probably pretty much the reason with me. I've almost never been totally single since I was like 15 or 16 years old. In fact, the relationship that lasted 6 years (or more... can't remember right now but it was between 6 and 8 years long) started when I was like 15. We separated a few times in between and that is when I had the other relationships. But we were together for about 6-8 years overall counting the times when we weren't actually seeing each other.

 

[Tuffguy]

Give it another 10, Tuffguy, and you may start hearing the echoes yourself. :^)

There is just something about not being alone that makes a difference, even if all you're doing is sharing the same room.

I'm no die hard bachelor but i really didn't have many gf's till i was around 21. Since 21 i've been in and out of relationships, which i think is pretty normal for the early 20's.