I had another really bad thought

[Job405]

So I was just laying in my bed this morning and I had this terrible thought "Ok I love satan". I am not sure why I had that thought but obviously I did not mean it, I do not love satan. In fact I hate satan.

Now I can't feel God anymore, I hope He will not hide His face from me for long. I repented and asked for forgiveness immediately for that thought.

Idk why I keep doing this, I keep thinking these bad thoughts. God have mercy on my soul. I just felt the need to confess this publically, because it helps.

 

[Scottish Highlander]

Be strong in the Lord and remember all the divine things he does for you and the miracles he has placed in your life - things that one would consider good, honest, and true. If they have no other explanation other than God then it can only be God. Remember those and then your evil thoughts will have no effect on you. They may still come and Satan loves it and dwells on your most evil sins, but faith will stomp those evil thoughts out. We overcome these things by reading the Bible and seeing his gifts in our lives. Satan knows our name but calls us by our sin. God knows our sin but calls us by his name. Remember this and your faith will never fade. We are tested every day and we fight, and God will always win.

 

[The Righterzpen]

A passing thought that pops into your head isn't necessarily a sin. It only becomes an issue if you let it live there, start to believe it which leads to acting on it.

Remember the story of Cain and Abel. Cain was upset because his sacrifice wasn't accepted. God confronts Cain and says "Why are you (sad)?" Then says: "If you obey, won't your offering be accepted? Sin crouches at your door." (God said that because Cain was not obeying.)

What did Cain end up doing?

He let his hurt feelings fester in his head; which lead to him killing his brother. Yet Cain hadn't sinned at the point that he felt bad that his sacrifice had been rejected. No, he let it live in his head until he acted on it.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

So I was just laying in my bed this morning and I had this terrible thought "Ok I love satan". I am not sure why I had that thought but obviously I did not mean it, I do not love satan. In fact I hate satan.

Now I can't feel God anymore, I hope He will not hide His face from me for long. I repented and asked for forgiveness immediately for that thought.

Idk why I keep doing this, I keep thinking these bad thoughts. God have mercy on my soul. I just felt the need to confess this publically, because it helps.

Christians often have thoughts that are intrusive. It is my belief that these thoughts are put there by the devil. That it is not actually our mind or our thoughts. We should not own them. Just ignore the thought, don't think about it.

 

[Job405]

Christians often have thoughts that are intrusive. It is my belief that these thoughts are put there by the devil. That it is not actually our mind or our thoughts. We should not own them. Just ignore the thought, don't think about it.

I know, I have intrusive thoughts as well but this was more like thinking "elephants are green" without meaning it.

 

[Mari17]

So I was just laying in my bed this morning and I had this terrible thought "Ok I love satan". I am not sure why I had that thought but obviously I did not mean it, I do not love satan. In fact I hate satan.

Now I can't feel God anymore, I hope He will not hide His face from me for long. I repented and asked for forgiveness immediately for that thought.

Idk why I keep doing this, I keep thinking these bad thoughts. God have mercy on my soul. I just felt the need to confess this publically, because it helps.

These are what we call intrusive thoughts. Everybody gets weird, random, and sometimes "bad" and disturbing thoughts, but people without OCD are able to 'filter out' these thoughts subconsciously. They know they don't actually mean them, so they move on without thinking much about the thoughts. However, those of us with OCD have a predisposition to be anxious. It's like our brains WANT something for us to be anxious about. So they latch onto these weird and random thoughts, making us notice them and freak out about them: "Oh no! What an awful thought! Why would I think such a thing? What does that mean about me?" Then we start hyper-analyzing our thoughts and feelings, and our fears only intensify: "Did I actually mean it? Do I actually want that? How do I know for sure?" Basically, we have a faulty "filtering out" system, and so we have to practice doing what comes naturally for most people - namely, we have to practice ignoring those thoughts instead of focusing on them. As we do, this will become more natural, and our brains will calm down and act more normally. It's REALLY, REALLY hard to ignore these thoughts and fears when we have OCD, though, because our brains attach a lot of anxiety to them, making us think that there is really something to be afraid of, even though there isn't. The good news is that we CAN work on our OCD, and as we do, it DOES get better.

I recommend reading the articles and blog posts at ocdandchristianity.com. Also, if you're looking for more support, the Facebook group "Christianity and Anxiety Disorders" is pretty good.