I guess this is a "testimony" of sorts

[Lik3]

I have lost weight only to gain it back. However today I have felt so self-conscious I realize that I had to do something. I was in physical therapy this morning and they have those mirrors. I realize that not only was I fat, I was self-conscious and fat. I didn't like what I saw and I have been dealing with low self-esteem for years and years. I do wonder at 40 how much more difficult will it be compared to if say I was only 30. The fact that I am approaching middle age has little to do with it, but I am wondering. I was so self-conscious that I was concerned that the physical therapists were going to if not already laughing behind my back. If that is not motivation enough, then I don't know what it is. What is the best way to lose way and to keep it off? Your advice would be very helpful. I have been confused, saddened, and frustrated with losing weight. I talk about losing weight, but I had no clue what to do. I have been under stress about things for a while and my weight is one of the reasons why. I am 5'1" and weigh almost 300 lbs. There were times when I even felt guilty about being fat.

I was much smaller when I was in high school yet I still had a BMI over 30, which is overweight. The truth is, I just have a large frame; I would like to weigh 212 lbs, which I guess would be healthy and realistic for me at least. My BMI right now is between 55-60. That means that I have to deal with a number of issues such as why I feel like a failure and why I give up when things aren't going as planned. I have had difficulty applying even the simplest tasks and that makes me feel weak and powerless. I felt so sad because I feel that in itself is so sad. I would like to have the right focus but how do I change my mindset? That is also one of my biggest problems. As you all know, I have been diagnosed as having PCOS back around 2008 and diagnosed as having Type 2 Diabetes within a year. I was embarrassed that I was/am diabetic. I felt like I was going to be judged because of possible judgement and advice I will be given. My dad was a diabetic and I was overweight most of my life, so I should have known better.

I admit that my eating habits are poor and I wonder if that has to do with stress. Does stress cause me to eat poorly? Or do eating poorly cause stress? I have bipolar and anxiety which is another source of stress for me. I don't want a shift or rather a slowing of my metabolism one minute and having a much better metabolism the next. I don't wish to say I have grown tired, but in the past, I have grown tired. Maybe being tired could either be a motivation or a great procrastinator. in my case, it has been both. I need your advice as to deal with what "ails" me in terms of dealing with stress and improve my eating habits.

 

[Cute Tink]

I'm no expert, but ...

PCOS can cause your body to hold onto weight. You should talk to your doctor about treating that if it is still causing a problem.

Stress can contribute to eating too much. A lot of people reach for food in response to stress. That's something that, if you need help, a therapist can help you with some alternative techniques that you might turn to instead of food.

As far as losing weight. There are enough diets going around that you can easily get lost and confused about what you want to do. Most importantly, since you have diabetes, you need to be ever mindful of how your body is responding to what you eat.

Of next importance, I would suggest that you focus on finding a diet that is something healthy and that you can live with. Most of these lose-lots-of-weight-fast diets are not something you can maintain long term, so people tend to yoyo on them. Also, if your diet is healthy, but you hate everything on it, you aren't going to want to maintain it. If you focus on building a nutritious meal plan consisting of things that you do still like to eat, then you aren't as likely to avoid your food in favor of other things.

Exercise is also important. If you are still seeing a physical therapist, that person would be a good source of safe exercises to help start your weight loss. If not, walking is good exercise and, generally, light weight lifting helps because, even though muscle weights more than fat, it also helps you burn fat.

If you want permanent weight loss, you really need an exercise program and diet that you can maintain. Burying yourself in an ultra low calorie diet and time consuming exercise plan are sure ways to lose weight, but probably gain it back if you can't maintain that. A healthy, livable lifestyle change is what you need.