I guess this is a goodbye

[Tink]

Alexander, I understand your frustration, and I once felt it. I honestly thought that God had promised to hook me up with a girl I was head-over-heels for. He did not, in fact He told me to give her up. I felt like He was teasing me with her. This wrecked my faith a good deal.

However, God did not sin against me. He didn't sin against you, either. I know you are frustrated, lost, and your hopes are dashed. But God never has sinned against you and He never will. If anyone sinned against you, it is the Christians who sold you a bag of goods, who told you that you would have it easy and that certain comforts are certain. Those who conditioned you to expect such comforts. The fact is, if you're a Christian this is as close to Hell as you're ever going to get, and in 60-70 years it's all over. If you're not a Christian, this is as close to Heaven as you're ever going to get and in 60-70 years, partytime is over.

There is hope for this life. If it involves a woman, good. You'll need God for happiness anyway. If it doesn't, that's fine too because you'll still need God for happiness. If you want the happiness God has to offer, you will need to surrender your will to Him. There is joy and fulfillment when you surrender your will to Him and serve Him wholeheartedly. There may or may not be earthly rewards (a wife, money, etc) but where there is no earthly reward there is a heavenly one, and there is the peace and joy of knowing you have pleased your Master.

 

[Deliberatetourist]

Oh and I might add....it seems that at this point in the thread all the "bretheren" seem to be vying not for the truth but for supportive, popular concensus.

 

[JPPT1974]

Please don't leave at all as I know
How you really feel myself.
I almost left as well but some friends
PM me and told me not to go and that
They would miss me.
But if you choose to leave, I understand.
Praying for you and that maybe you can change your mind! Please don't leave! I know what it is like in your shoes. You can pm me if you want to!

 

[LetHimThatGlories]

Hey Alexander,

I wish I would have seen your post a little earlier. The idea that God is going to give a spouse to everyone when they start living for Him is a nice sentiment, but I really have not seen this in Scripture. I have made some rather long posts about this before. However, the encouragement is this:

"...For which cause we do not lose heart; but though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal." II Corinthians 4:16-18

Really, if things in life are getting you down, it helps to re-evaluate where your focus should be.

In Hebrews 11 we see Abraham as an example of this; he saw himself as a sojourner in the land, constantly looking toward a future homeland. In Colossians 3 there is the command to seek those things which are above, where Christ sits on the right hand of God.

I have dealt with similar problems before. I have never had a serious relationship before, and I felt really frustrated watching friends walk by with their gf's, feeling like women don't take me seriously, and feeling very depressed about this for pretty much my entire teenage years, and into my 20's. I never blamed God for it, but I did ask Him repeatedly why He was keeping me from forming a normal relationship; I really longed for that. I felt like there was a wall that was separating me from women, and it felt kind of obvious. After continually asking God for an answer over several years, I think He finally got tired of me asking, and told me. It's hard to explain what happened, but as I laid in bed He opened my eyes just a little, and I saw myself for what I really was, just for an instant. At the same time, there was knowledge put in me at the moment that had He given me what I wanted, I would have made foolish mistakes, and would have caused myself much long-lasting pain. Right then I realized that He wasn't punishing me; He had been protecting me for my own good. I felt very ashamed that I had questioned Him all that time; I must have really wore on His patience.

I'm still single, and may always be for the rest of my life. But it's not that big a deal anymore, and God has blessed me with some good Christian friends, both male and female. Those of you here know who you are; I love you all, God bless ya'll.

Sometimes God has to get you where you are broken down before He can get you to listen to Him. Use this as an opportunity to get to know Him better, by studying His Word. You will get very far with the Lord by approaching Him in a humble manner. After all, He is who He is.

"God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." James 4:6

God Bless

 

[FlatpickingJD]

I'm probably wrong, but I see God's hand in this. By trying to push him away, you are actually being drawn closer to Him.

I don't think it's God you're mad at, I think it's the world you're in. Take heart, be of good cheer. We all question what's happened in our lives, what the purpose is. And you know what? We all come out the other side, usually better for the experience.

Berate God, cry out to Him (as you are now), rage at the dying of the light . . . but realize that all paths lead back to God.

I'll be praying for you brother.

 

[Smokkie22]

Thanks Princess Pea

I just recently converted to Christianity after being engaged to my fiance who is Catholic, so I decided to come here to learn more about this religion.

I went to this website to skim through, some posts were random and so long to read, but Alex's thread caught my attention.

All I can say that he is currently walking in the same path that I tread before when I was almost his age, but I wasn't hostile against God since I didn't belive in him at the time, but I had a strong feeling I was meant to be alone for the rest of my life. I was so depressed I decided not to think about it anymore - i decided to stop looking and focused on myself.But then my fiance Steven just came along - at a time that I didn't even expect...

So I guess that there is hope, but Alex doesn't see that
I wonder what really happened to him that drove him into this despair?

Is there a way I can contact Alexander individually?

 

[Smokkie22]

How do I get his email...MadFingerPainter?

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

To contact someone on CF, you go to their profile and click on the thing that says "private message". It is on the lefthand side of the page, towards the bottom, under the section called "CF Contact".

 

[biffy]

To contact someone on CF, you go to their profile and click on the thing that says "private message". It is on the lefthand side of the page, towards the bottom, under the section called "CF Contact".

hey there guys i emailed him and he's all good to email me back i say we all email him and encourage him back!!!

 

[biffy]

http://thefockerizer.livejournal.com/?skip=20#thefockerizer342

he wants to hear from people in CF and said that it is always good to have friends in times of trouble....PM me for the link to his journal. you know with a little more encouragement he'll be ok and he'll be back...think he just needs to know that he is far from alone in his struggles!!!!! so come on guys help me out here!!!!

 

[Smokkie22]

You got that link as well? Mee too, I just got an email from Alex an hour ago. He said he wanted some time off away from the church to focus on himself for a while..

I think Alex wanted us to know his story - the background which probably explain the cause of his despair before we could help him. From what I read from his livejournal is that he's been tortured for a long time by this girl, Amanda. Hands up if this sounds familiar to you. He's letting his emotions and this girl invade his life rather letting God control it.

Read more of his entries and you shall see a bigger picture of what going on. That link that Biffy had was only the beginning, more interesting stuff soon followed if you scroll up. He had the right idea by joining Lifeteen to get closer to God, but that girl Amanda keeps coming back into his life.

Go to his most recent entry - I think that one really killed him

But if you ask me, I think God is already helping him by the momentAlex joined the dance class. I htink Alex is despairing too soon and for unnecessary reasons

 

[Echoespeak006]

Thanks Princess Pea

I just recently converted to Christianity after being engaged to my fiance who is Catholic, so I decided to come here to learn more about this religion.

I went to this website to skim through, some posts were random and so long to read, but Alex's thread caught my attention.

Welcome Aboard, Smokkie.

 

[Smokkie22]

Hello Echoespeak006

Oooo you're from Cameroon? My sister's husband is from Cameroon!

 

[TriptychR]

This whole thread is very sad indeed. You people are treating Alexander as if he were throwing a tantrum and vieing for everyone's attention. He's gone folks and now this very serious thread has turned into a medley of bickering and accusatory comments directed at the OP. Thank heavens Alexander isn't around to read these things becasue it would probably drive him more deepy into despair. I gues it goes to show you that real life and online forums actually have little difference. This is the kind of garbage that I have wittnessed in so many churches over the years. Except in most cases the "Alexanders" didn't leave a farewell comment...they simply just stopped attending. I think we need to take a good hard look at ourselves and re-evealuate our wittness to others.

What would you say to Alexander, then?

And what do you mean that most on this thread have gone with "popular concensus" instead of the truth? You need to elaborate on such things if you truly plan to change things for the better.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

I think there have been great things said here--

When I first became a" Christian" I had this theroy that if I had Faith, that life would be full of roses and pink lemonade. So shortly after I was married I thought.. Yep there is a God...

Then my marriage fell apart, and I turned from God as how could he let this happen--

Same with Alex-- he is going through a rough road right now and the enemy is laughing cause we are believing the lies he tells us about our God.

The fact is, I am not here on earth for MY purpose-- I am here for God's purpose!

My life sucks, I know it.. but I also know that with ones free will we bring so much torture onto oursleves.

Turn to God get better or turn away from God and get bitter.

See I was bitter for many years after my divorce and disapointments. but regardless of the trials I face I know God is right there with me.

Did Jesus have the perfect life? Did he not face hurt? disapointments? trials..

Geez I do not get why we want to barter with God.

 

[Alenci]

The idea that God is going to give a spouse to everyone when they start living for Him is a nice sentiment, but I really have not seen this in Scripture.

Throughout the entirety of 1 Corinthians 7, Paul speaks of marriage as a choice, not some event for which to sit around passively waiting.

1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.

8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.


I agree that Scripture does not promise God is going to "give" everyone a spouse, but everyone here acts as if marriage has nothing to do with their own efforts and everything to do with God (figuratively) forming a spouse from their rib...

Come on now, be realistic. There are billions of people in the world. Nobody has to live alone. Online dating services? Mail-order brides? Finding mates for unhappy people is a huge industry.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

Come on now, be realistic. There are billions of people in the world. Nobody has to live alone. Online dating services? Mail-order brides? Finding mates for unhappy people is a huge industry.

Finding love, a partner and so on-- is not a easy thing..You saying that is a a slap in the face to everyone who prays for a spouse.

At 19 I thought I knew how easy life was too-- then I was humbled.

 

[Princess Pea]

I just have to say it - this is one of the most worthwhile discussions I've ever seen on CF! The question "why should I believe" really goes to the core, doesn't it? Nearly 30 people have weighed in on this crucial question so far, and I have wanted to cheer at many of the answers I've seen - there are some amazing people here. Truly. And the answers come from such a variety of perspectives, but they all say the same thing: "Please don't give up." It's like the cloud of witnesses mentioned in Hebrews 12, and exactly the way the body of Christ is supposed to work. How does that old song go ... "Throw out the lifeline ... throw out the lifeline ... someone is drifting away ... someone is sinking today ... " I pray earnestly that our words have been a help to Alex, or anyone else who might be struggling ...

(And I look forward to a CF reunion in heaven some day. )

 

[OhhJim]

Finding love, a partner and so on-- is not a easy thing...

Finding a partner IS an easy thing. It's been happening for at least 6,000 years, probably billions of times.

Finding love is less easy, but the Bible doesn't instruct us to do so. Marrying only our "soul mate" is never instructed in the Bible. This idea of "marrying for love" and "finding the right person" is relatively new, and more common in Western society than in others. The idea that it is the responsibility of our spouse to bring happiness into our lives is also new. We have seen one result of such thinking in Alexander1982.

This logic is in error:

A. Finding the right spouse is essential to my happiness

B. God is in control of everything

C. I have no spouse, therefore, no happiness

D. God is responsible for my unhappiness, therefore, He doesn't love me

 

[Smokkie22]

Oh wow I've been reading his livejournal - it's quite an entertaining read. You guys should read it yourselves it's bit funny!From what I read so far Alex is a

1) Dancer - well more specifically learning to dance
2) Is quite a good poet - his poem on his recent entry is pretty emotional and clever
3) Is a percussionist, he plays drums for the church
4) Works for the government

So how does this multi-talented gem go unnoticed?