I feel my relationship is going to end...

[Ruba]

Hello everyone,

I am kind of embarrassed to talk about this. I am scared mostly, because I feel like I'm about to lose somebody that I've been committing to for awhile.

My boyfriend and I been in a long-distance relationship for almost 2 years. Recently I moved over with his parents so I can get to know him more. It's been about a month now and it's been really hellish for me.

I found out his mom drinks all the time, and she took a lot of her frustrations out on me for not knowing any better on how they do things around the house. The first time she did it, I honestly just wanted to go home. However Matthew and I, AKA that's my boyfriend were trying to pull through it.

But shortly after, his insecurities started to get at him. He started to constantly ask about my exes when he was grumpy and tired after work. Because I had contacted a male co-worker for a job reference; he assumed it was an ex. It turned into a big argument to the point to where he doesn't trust me anymore and he threatened to send me home. I am 2800 miles away from where I used to live, and I feel really scared and I can feel my stomach sinking in. I really wish I understood what was really going on, and I really did ask the questions before I even decided to leave. I even felt God nudging me to pursue this relationship. At the moment it's so confusing because it's so painful and backwards to me. I'm very tempted just to call my family up to pay for my plane ticket so I can go home because I don't know what to do and I'm very scared that I may have made a mistake or I may have misunderstood God. I really want to be a blessing in these people's lives but I know I cannot change them. I know God is the one that changes people. I just want to ask for prayer for clarity, for comfort, for forgiveness, for open communicating, and for courage to make the right choice. Deep down I want my boyfriend to forgive me for making him insecure or for anything negative. I know he's dealing with a lot himself, so please pray for him to.

I know trust is the number one thing that keeps a relationship alive. The lack of it is so frightening. I know God loves me and I know he probably wants me to learn something from this. I'm just so overruled by fear at the moment.

Thank you to all who has read this and prayed for me. Every time I come on this website and sending the prayer request, something good always happens within a few days.

 

[Ruba]

Hello everyone,

I am kind of embarrassed to talk about this. I am scared mostly, because I feel like I'm about to lose somebody that I've been committing to for awhile.

My boyfriend and I been in a long-distance relationship for almost 2 years. Recently I moved over with his parents so I can get to know him more. It's been about a month now and it's been really hellish for me.

I found out his mom drinks all the time, and she took a lot of her frustrations out on me for not knowing any better on how they do things around the house. The first time she did it, I honestly just wanted to go home. However Matthew and I, AKA that's my boyfriend were trying to pull through it.

But shortly after, his insecurities started to get at him. He started to constantly ask about my exes when he was grumpy and tired after work. Because I had contacted a male co-worker for a job reference; he assumed it was an ex. It turned into a big argument to the point to where he doesn't trust me anymore and he threatened to send me home. I am 2800 miles away from where I used to live, and I feel really scared and I can feel my stomach sinking in. I really wish I understood what was really going on, and I really did ask the questions before I even decided to leave. I even felt God nudging me to pursue this relationship. At the moment it's so confusing because it's so painful and backwards to me. I'm very tempted just to call my family up to pay for my plane ticket so I can go home because I don't know what to do and I'm very scared that I may have made a mistake or I may have misunderstood God. I really want to be a blessing in these people's lives but I know I cannot change them. I know God is the one that changes people. I just want to ask for prayer for clarity, for comfort, for forgiveness, for open communicating, and for courage to make the right choice. Deep down I want my boyfriend to forgive me for making him insecure or for anything negative. I know he's dealing with a lot himself, so please pray for him to.

I know trust is the number one thing that keeps a relationship alive. The lack of it is so frightening. I know God loves me and I know he probably wants me to learn something from this. I'm just so overruled by fear at the moment.

Thank you to all who has read this and prayed for me. Every time I come on this website and sending the prayer request, something good always happens within a few days.

 

[Ruba]

Sorry for the grammar errors and typos. Voice to chat on phone is super choppy.

 

[ripple the car]

I would move out of his parents, and seriously pray about whether staying with this man and pursuing marriage would be a good idea. Perhaps it would not be.

 

[Ruba]

I would move out of his parents, and seriously pray about whether staying with this man and pursuing marriage would be a good idea. Perhaps it would not be.

Thank you Gracia, at the moment I'm trying to find a job and i won't be able to move out before i start working. My heart has been pretty heavy the last few days praying and poundering. I just don't know yet

 

[ripple the car]

Thank you Gracia, at the moment I'm trying to find a job and i won't be able to move out before i start working. My heart has been pretty heavy the last few days praying and poundering. I just don't know yet

I'll keep you in my prayers. I would certainly try to find work and move out. You don't know these people, and giving yourself space would be a good idea, I think. If you want to give this guy space, too, that might not be a bad idea. If he is this moody and difficult now, would it be easy to be married to him?

 

[timothyu]

Deep down I want my boyfriend to forgive me for making him insecure or for anything negative.

I can only go by what you've posted but I pray for the best for you and you that will be guided in understanding responsibility for his problem is not yours or your fault. I pray the pattern of casting blame on others is not hereditary. I pray God will let you will know if this can become a case of battered woman syndrome where you feel it is always your fault. May God grant you understanding and the discernment to test this out before committing any further. I pray your parents can advise you about the abuse you feel. I pray you make this about yourself first before 'saving' them. I pray you find the life you deserve in spite of insecurities. I pray I haven't overstepped my bounds and that you will forgive me if I have misinterpreted the situation.

 

[EzekielsWheels]

I pray for the Lord to give you wisdom here as to what the best steps are for you to take.

 

[(° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °) (ᵔᴥᵔʋ)]

Hello everyone,
But shortly after, his insecurities started to get at him. He started to constantly ask about my exes when he was grumpy and tired after work. Because I had contacted a male co-worker for a job reference; he assumed it was an ex. It turned into a big argument to the point to where he doesn't trust me anymore and he threatened to send me home.

Ok, I am going to give you the down and dirty. The issue that I have is not his mother. You are not planning on marrying his mother and his mother is not a direct reflection of him. The huge red flag that is see is his insecurity and trust issues. This is not your fault and it is not your problem to fix. Unless you have a history of infidelity, this is a personal problem that he is struggling with that is probably the result of some deep emotional scars from his past. My advice is simple, DO NOT MARRY THIS GUY UNTIL HE FIXES HIS TRUST ISSUES! I cannot be anymore plain than that. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship and unless this gets resolved, it will not get better over time. I am not telling you not to date him anymore, but you need to set very clear and healthy boundaries with him. This boundary includes you telling him that if he doesn't get help to work out his insecurity issue, you will have no choice but to leave him. If he chooses not to, he made his choice. You must then follow up with your end. Don't feel guilty if things don't work out because he refused to get help because it was a decision he made. Not you.

 

[Mydreams]

Lord we bring Ruba and his prayer request before you, please hear, and bless. In Jesus loving name, Amen!

 

[LoricaLady]

I would suggest you look up the characteristics, and patterns, of those who turn out to be domestic abusers. It alarms me that he is bullying you about your past boyfriends, for one thing. Those who turn out to be domestic abusers are often very possessive, jealous and harassing.

I pray for insight and wisdom on what to do.