I feel like no one cares.

[ilovechocolate]

I am reaching out to fellow Christians for advice in my life... I have many problems, most of them just wars within myself, but I need someone, anyone to let me know that I'm not alone, and to comfort me right now. I have an extremely blessed life- a wonderful family, a husband, no money problems, or health problems. The only problem I have is myself and my insecurities. I feel that I don't know who I am any more. I am a Christian, and I always have been. I am ALWAYs loving and kind to others, I am quiet and reserved, and I must admit I do my fair share of judging others- I don't act out on my judgements, just keep them to myself.

Here is the problem- Despite my kindness and gentleness with the people around me, and despite my good heart, I am so very lonely. I feel like nobody pays attention to me, and I feel like no one likes me. I know that I am loved by my family, but I dont get praise or recognition for any of my good traits/accomplishments. This would not bother me except for the fact that there are certain people in my family that get all the recognition in the world. If they tie their shoes correctly, everyone in the family throws a party (this is of course an exaggeration, but you get the picture). I am always seen as the quiet one, and I guess I'm just depressed over this.

As a Christian, I know that I shouldn't expect to be recognizedfor the things that I do, but this knowledge alone doesn't make me feel any better. I am sad and depressed and even think about changing myself to get recognized, but I am wise enough to know that that won't make a difference either, and I can't change who God made me and don't necessrily want to. I need advice on how to get over this feeling. Thanks so much for your help and caring

 

[LilLamb219]

Have you considered doing more community service or helping out more within your church? It's very satisfying work and it makes a person feel good at the same time.

You sound like a very caring person...which is why I suggested what I did

 

[Autumnleaf]

The Bible says some people get recognition while they are alive and that is their reward. Others get recognition in Heaven for their reward. Be patient.

 

[Pal Handy]

I am reaching out to fellow Christians for advice in my life... I have many problems, most of them just wars within myself, but I need someone, anyone to let me know that I'm not alone, and to comfort me right now. I have an extremely blessed life- a wonderful family, a husband, no money problems, or health problems. The only problem I have is myself and my insecurities. I feel that I don't know who I am any more. I am a Christian, and I always have been. I am ALWAYs loving and kind to others, I am quiet and reserved, and I must admit I do my fair share of judging others- I don't act out on my judgements, just keep them to myself.

Here is the problem- Despite my kindness and gentleness with the people around me, and despite my good heart, I am so very lonely. I feel like nobody pays attention to me, and I feel like no one likes me. I know that I am loved by my family, but I dont get praise or recognition for any of my good traits/accomplishments. This would not bother me except for the fact that there are certain people in my family that get all the recognition in the world. If they tie their shoes correctly, everyone in the family throws a party (this is of course an exaggeration, but you get the picture). I am always seen as the quiet one, and I guess I'm just depressed over this.

As a Christian, I know that I shouldn't expect to be recognizedfor the things that I do, but this knowledge alone doesn't make me feel any better. I am sad and depressed and even think about changing myself to get recognized, but I am wise enough to know that that won't make a difference either, and I can't change who God made me and don't necessrily want to. I need advice on how to get over this feeling. Thanks so much for your help and caring

I know how you feel and some.
You are not alone...

I have reached out for friendship and been rejected.
I have tried so very hard to be accepted and have been turned away.
I have done all that I could to be an example of love and humility and have
been laffed at and misjudged and ignored by those in my family and without.

The more needy I became, the more accute the pain became as
further rejection and misjudgement was given.

It hurts like H_ll when those who are supposed to be there for you
are suddenly the one mocking and misunderstanding you.

(we wrestle not with flesh and blood but spiritual wickedness in high places)

Don't blame others....

I had nowhere else to turn.
I was hemmed in and so I had to go to the only one who loves me without
conditions or selfish self interest.....Jesus....

It is not easy being hemmed in and finding that those we have confided in for our self esteem
and comfort have turned away from us for a season but sometimes it is the only way we can
have our prayers answered that we have prayed for more of God in our lives.
(I prayed that prayer, did you?)

We may have forgotten those prayers and desires but God holds on to them and
will bring them about by allowing situations to cause us to
set aside others and come to Him and find our self worth in Him alone.

Sorry, I don't want this to be about me but I wanted you to see that others
go through this sort of rejection and discouragement and that God is with you
and will bring you through as He has me.

God wants to bring you closer to Himself but the devil fights hard to discourage
you from your walk with God by affecting these people around
you and causing this rejection to take place.

God uses what the devil means to harm you and disuade you by
giving you a desire for more of Him.

This time in your life will pass as you go to God and allow Him
to have the place of honor in your life and as you realize that God
comes first and that no one will ever love you more completely
and absolutely as Him.

Once God is first in your life, all other relationships will fall into place.

With God as your first love, people will be drawn to you as God desires
so that you can share the deep life you have found in God, with them.

Don't be discourage but take joy in knowing that God is drawing you
to a deeper relationship with Him and as you yield yourself
to Him, your life will move forward and you will find your place in God.

p.s. Go to God with all your heart and hurts and He will bring you through this.

 

[iambren]

"I have an extremely blessed life- a wonderful family, a husband, no money problems, or health problems. The only problem I have is myself and my insecurities. I feel that I don't know who I am any more. I am a Christian, and I always have been."

I believe your needs are beyond the scope of the boards here. The underlined especially bothered me. It may be that you have been the "good girl", "Christian", and good family member ie all things to all people that you have lost yourself. I would suggest a knowledgeable counselor. Good luck.

 

[heron]

I find that happiness is a lot more tied in with feeling needed and appreciated, than with being surrounded by the comforts of life. LilLamb suggested volunteer work ... that doesn't need to be street ministry or soup kitchens, but can include things that you find joy in.

Look through this list and see if any of these strike you as 'hey that's me.'

- girl scout leader
- helping unemployed women pick out interview suits
- placing refugees in housing
- teaching literacy or English
- counseling pregnant teens
- showing transferred employees the town or bringing welcome wagon items
- leading a hiking/biking/running group
- community theatre

All these things take time, but these days volunteer activity shows up well in job interviews, and the connections can lead to other interesting things.

It's typical to want the feeling of fulfillment for being married, but in truth spouses are just people who also want to be loved and feel fulfilled... and we all have our selfish moments.

 

[11822]

Feeling lonely hurts, i take that loneliness to God and he becomes my friend and shares love with me. I tell God how i feel and he comforts me. Jesus cares. Although i do need to feel loved by others also, God is there when no one else seems to be. We care about you, and maybe your family cares more than you think, maybe God wants to share His love with you, maybe its being lonely from him that is the source of your loneliness. Hang in there sister, you're not alone. I hope this helps. I'm praying for you.

 

[BFine]

I would suggest that you and your husband seek counseling and work
on your deep insecurities...they have ruled you long enough.

Have you revealed all this to your husband?
Does he understand your "love language" includes affirmation/recognition/praise?
Do you know what his love language is?

Do you know the bible speaks of honoring one another?
It's something that is to be done right along with showing hospitality.

 

[LOCO]

I am reaching out to fellow Christians for advice in my life... I have many problems, most of them just wars within myself, but I need someone, anyone to let me know that I'm not alone, and to comfort me right now. I have an extremely blessed life- a wonderful family, a husband, no money problems, or health problems. The only problem I have is myself and my insecurities. I feel that I don't know who I am any more. I am a Christian, and I always have been. I am ALWAYs loving and kind to others, I am quiet and reserved, and I must admit I do my fair share of judging others- I don't act out on my judgements, just keep them to myself.

Here is the problem- Despite my kindness and gentleness with the people around me, and despite my good heart, I am so very lonely. I feel like nobody pays attention to me, and I feel like no one likes me. I know that I am loved by my family, but I dont get praise or recognition for any of my good traits/accomplishments. This would not bother me except for the fact that there are certain people in my family that get all the recognition in the world. If they tie their shoes correctly, everyone in the family throws a party (this is of course an exaggeration, but you get the picture). I am always seen as the quiet one, and I guess I'm just depressed over this.

As a Christian, I know that I shouldn't expect to be recognizedfor the things that I do, but this knowledge alone doesn't make me feel any better. I am sad and depressed and even think about changing myself to get recognized, but I am wise enough to know that that won't make a difference either, and I can't change who God made me and don't necessrily want to. I need advice on how to get over this feeling. Thanks so much for your help and caring

Hello Ilovechocolate,


All the advice given has been great. Especially remember that those who SEEK earthly rewards will not receive any heavenly reward.

I remember a particular time of stress. I approached my Priest and the sound advice I received was that this doubt of God could lead to a weakening of my spiritual defences and a hardening of my heart. This could ultimately leave me questioning my faith and the existence of God.

He asked a few questions as well:

1. Have you got a roof over your head, yes.
2. Do you eat 3 meals a day, yes.
3. Do you have a job, yes.
4. Are you physically and mentally healthy, yes.
5. Do you have family and friends who are loving and supportive, yes.

Basically what my Priest was saying is 'Quit your moaning and whining and take a long hard look at the crucifix and remember what Our Lord went through. Accept the cross you have been given along with the enormous blessings you have been given and offer it up.'

It all sort of put it in perspective for me. There is always someone in a worse off situation, I am truly blessed.

His remedy was more time spent in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and prayer, it worked.


Blessings

 

[Jazer]

I feel that I don't know who I am any more.

Hopefully your a child of God and He is doing a work in you to transform you into the person He wants you to be. Born again is not a one time event, it is a lifelong experience.

1 cor 3:18
But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.

 

[tturt]

Amen. You're definitely not alone.

Yahweh wants you to be filled with Him. That's what many of us are finding out. He doesn't want us to turn to anything else such as tv, hobbies, addictions, etc or someone else to make us complete. We've got to learn He is the answer to everyone of our problems and situations.

I encourage you to spend more time with Him meditating (doesn’t mean emptying your mind, it means focusing) on Yahweh and His Word such as Psa 135, 136 and 145 about who He is. Or play music that’s just about Him or sing to Him or read Scripture to Him. Or get a list of His titles, names and attributes. Locate a list that has Scripture listed so they can be checked out. Then think about a few of those at a time. All the while, listening for His voice - usually still, quiet voice.

Petition Yahweh to fully understand Eph 3:17 "That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God."

 

[insurchoftruth]

Psalm 119:50, Psalm 62:8, Psalm 42:5, Psalm 43:5, Psalm 46:1, Psalm 86, Isaiah 25:8, 30:18,19,20, 40:1, 41:10,13,14, 2 Corinthians 1:3-11, 4:16-18, 7:6, 12:9,10, Psalm 13, Psalm 94:19, Lamentations 3:1-66, Psalm 116:3-9, Psalm 30, Psalm 31, Psalm 94:17-19, Psalm 25:16,17,18, Psalm 34, Psalm 147:3, Psalm 22:24, Psalm 54:7, Psalm 55:22, Psalm 69, 2 Corinthians 1:10, 1 Corinthians 10:13, 2