I feel like dieing. Where is God?

[Daughter of His]

Lots of wisdom----I like it very much!!!!

 

[Iwannaflyaway]

Hi everyone I'm feeling a bit better. I have been going for walks trying to talk to god. I go far away from everything thinking that maybe God will hear me then. I prayed and I cryed out to him maybe thats why I feel a little better but...I don't feel all better...I want to be healed so I can have a real smile. When I prayed today I couldn't feel him and I asked to feel him but still there was nothing and thats when I start doubting again. Last night I was having a really hard time. No one called me...no one wrote me...I felt unloved and hated. I prayed and cryed and screamed but I only felt more stupid. I felt like God must hate me and he loves to see me act stupid so he can laugh. I didn't feel better so again I got the razor out...I didn't do it...I'm afraid to die...but afraid to live...I don't know what would be better...I guess I'm still living because a little part of me believes there is a God and there is a heaven but soon If god doesn't help me I think that part will disapear. I don't know what to do. The poems I wrote are lies to me...I write but i don't really belive. I guess I write and hope that the happy ending will be mine but I don't think I will have a happy ending...I guess I should stop living a fairy tale...I don't know...

 

[maxer]

i'm so sorry i haven't written earlier, i've been up for an hour trying to know what to say to you, i should have just said i liked your poem because i do, forgive me for wanting to write too much..
this is what i wrote anyway, don't know if it will help, feels a bit redundant now, i care about you and so does God, please believe that.
i've sent a pm to you



I like your poem very much
reminds me of these verses,

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him,
He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends outs its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jer 17: 7-8​

Jesus said, "If anyone is thristy, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." John 7:38 and also " Whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

As your poem says, Jesus is the one who is our strength, everything connected with him blossoms into life.

Seek to honor Him with your life, so He can dwell in you more and more for when we seek to do what is right by Him, He can live fully in us.

This is my prayer for you (Paul prayed it first for a church in a city called Ephesus, but i'm sure he won't mind if i pray it for you too)

"I pray that out of his glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Eph 3:16-19

may God bless you, and be with you in a very real way, pm me anytime you need anything, i'm not always here but i check every couple of days,
m

 

[Daughter of His]

Going to church tomorrow??

I've thought of you today and wondering how you are doing?? Have you ever thought of calling a crisis line if you're thinking of something so desperate? They are there to talk, and they care or they would not be there.

Remember, God is always with you. Tell Him everything, even though He already knows, this way you are strengthening your relationship with Him. It is also important to ask forgiveness for our sins and repent and turn away from sin. Praying for you, feel free to PM me anytime.

 

[Just Me Garry]

Hello, I wannaflyaway.

Job stated that man that is born of woman has trouble.

Job 14:1 Man that is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble.

But why would you want to give up. Joseph had problems in the Old Testament and the Lord gave him victory.

Gen 41:51 And Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: For God, said he, hath made me forget all my toil, and all my father's house.
Gen 41:52 And the name of the second called he Ephraim: For God hath caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction.

Now the Lord Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Again let us look at the book of Job.

Job 11:15 For then shalt thou lift up thy face without spot; yea, thou shalt be stedfast, and shalt not fear:
Job 11:16 Because thou shalt forget thy misery, and remember it as waters that pass away:
Job 11:17 And thine age shall be clearer than the noonday: thou shalt shine forth, thou shalt be as the morning.
Job 11:18 And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope; yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy rest in safety.
Job 11:19 Also thou shalt lie down, and none shall make thee afraid; yea, many shall make suit unto thee.

Blessings

 

[bloodofthelamb12]

If I had not made this post, would I still exist? Remember that God's silence, does not imply His nonexistance.

Dear sister, know that God is not far removed from you in this hour of sorrow; rather, He is with you always. For we do not serve a God who makes His home with the high and the lofty, but a God who is 'Emmanuel'; a God who is with us even in our poverty. Sometimes God withholds His presence from us; beloved, these are valleys. Believe me when I say I know them well. The hurt, the ache, the emptiness, the unanswered tears, the dreadful fears; sister, I understand. But so does Christ. Take comfort in knowing this, daughter of the King; "Jesus wept." (John 11:35)

He did not weep for Lazarus' sake, though, for Lazarus He would soon enough raise; He wept for us. He knew the sufferings we would experience; and they became His sufferings as well. They were with Him when He was beaten; they were present when He went before the crowd; they were beside Him when He was whipped; they were carried by Him on His way toward Calvary; and they were nailed to Him upon the cross...But be of good cheer, dear sister; for when He rose three days after, they were left, dead, inside His grave.

Please, do not harm yourself; for no daughter of Eve with so soft a heart should be so quick to greet her grave. As God loves you, so too, do we love you. For no one in our midst is wholly unfamiliar with your sorrow. Please, for His sake and your own, live. Read Psalms 38 and 39, beloved child, and weep to your heart's content; then, once all your tears are gone, read the 40th Psalm. Please...don't hurt yourself. God loves you, sister; and if your faith is unfirm, know that we love you, as well.

May the Lord God restore to you the joy of your Salvation,
Caleb

 

[Matt_H]

Still praying.

Your poems are amazing.

I'll also pray for God to send someone who can make you smile.

 

[Endure2]

friend,

it just seems like your trying to live the life of Christ by yourself, (well im sure thats not your trying to do)... but.

just dont give up, continue to cry out to God.

you may just need to get some basics straight.

like when you pray, you have to spend time in worship to him before you ask things from him, it opens the door for him to come and meet with you.

you have to spend time alone with him everyday, or your fire will burn low.

you cant go days or weeks without spending quality time alone with him, or youll be overrun with wordly thoughts and feelings and youll begin to fall away.

you have to spend quality time alone with him praying and worshiping and meditating in his word everyday, or youll fall away.

God is there, surrender it to him, stop worrying about being the best christian and be sincere with him telling him how you really feel, and put in a worship cd and spend some time worshiping him when you can.

but just dont keep fighting this instense fight, surrender it all and give it up to him. and ask him for help. and hell be there.

but i think you just need how to learn how to spend more quality time with him everyday, it sounds like you arent getting what you need on a daily basis.

 

[VioletAngel]

This is a poem I wrote today. The words just come to me. I was outside looking at this tree and decided to write it. Please tell me what you think. Thanks

The dieing tree

So close to heaven ​

Your branches used to be


Why did you give up?

I asked the dieing tree

He answered in a fragile voice

And said to me

The reason why my branches are wrinkled

He paused and started to yawn

Is because at the first sign of winter

I started not to feel so strong.

The breeze grew cold

And birds lost their song

And soon enough my hope was gone.

I stopped reaching out to the sky

It’s kind of funny that you’d ask why

A branch broke off

He began to cry

He said no ones ever asked me why

Why I’m sad when they pass by

He said no one cares about my leaves

I’m all alone I do believe

No one would care if I were to die

Cause no one cares if I hurt inside

I looked up at him and said that’s not true

I know someone who really loves you

He looked at me in disbelief

I asked him do you know who

He began to wonder

He began to think

Who would love me?

His heart began to sink

I said there is someone I believe you once knew

Each day you reached out

He reached out to you

When the sun was shining

He wasn’t hard to see

When you stretched to the sky

And suddenly felt free

He is the one who created you

With your difference

Look how you grew

You grew to be strong

And tall in the sky

And now you’re hurting and wondering why

I tell you the one, the one you should ask

Is the one whose love is his only task

The one who can heal you

And bring back your leaves

The one who cares about your grieves

The one who will lift you up again

Is yours and mine and everyone’s friend.

He looked down with questioning eyes

And said then how come I hurt inside?

I said we each have struggles

And times when we fall

But if we reach out our branches

He will hear are call

These struggles are made to make us stronger

So we look up to God longer and longer

So we can grow closer and be like him

Just take a try reach out a limb

I said he loves you and that’s a reason to live

To him it’s your life you need to give

You need to trust that he can save you

And I promise you he will help you through

The sky is getting dark now I must go

You don’t need me to help you grow

He loves you and that’s a reason why

You should give your life a try

I will see you in the summertime

As I waved I said goodbye.

Months passed bye till I saw the tree

As I walked were the dieing one used to be

I could not believe what I did see

Beautiful braches covered in leaves

He finally reached heaven

And found out it is true

That there really is a God

Who loves me and you.
​

- Chelsey

You do not seem "dumb" to me at all! In fact, you seem as a genius. You write beautiful poetry. If you feel you do not know the answers, this doesn't make you dumb, but merely uninformed. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise! You are very bright, and people close to you should realize this. I remember what it is like to be 17 years old, and very afraid. People seem to always be against me when I was in high school, too...and actually, some were poor judges of character, jealous, or perhaps not too bright themselves. Who are they to judge you if they do not have the intelligence to see what is obvious?

You have a wonderful talent for writing, and when you start to realize you have a great gift to offer the world, perhaps then you will come to terms with just who and what you really are, a very beautiful and intelligent girl with wonderful gifts in the eyes of Jesus. You are made in the image of God. This is what really matters in this world.

 

[VioletAngel]

Hi everyone I'm feeling a bit better. I have been going for walks trying to talk to god. I go far away from everything thinking that maybe God will hear me then. I prayed and I cryed out to him maybe thats why I feel a little better but...I don't feel all better...I want to be healed so I can have a real smile. When I prayed today I couldn't feel him and I asked to feel him but still there was nothing and thats when I start doubting again. Last night I was having a really hard time. No one called me...no one wrote me...I felt unloved and hated. I prayed and cryed and screamed but I only felt more stupid. I felt like God must hate me and he loves to see me act stupid so he can laugh. I didn't feel better so again I got the razor out...I didn't do it...I'm afraid to die...but afraid to live...I don't know what would be better...I guess I'm still living because a little part of me believes there is a God and there is a heaven but soon If god doesn't help me I think that part will disapear. I don't know what to do. The poems I wrote are lies to me...I write but i don't really belive. I guess I write and hope that the happy ending will be mine but I don't think I will have a happy ending...I guess I should stop living a fairy tale...I don't know...

You are far from "stupid" ... and what you write are not lies, but how you view the world, or as it should be. Be true to yourself, and never mind the people who criticize you. They have no right to. God will reveal himself in time, and you cannot force this, because how can you hear that still, small voice, which is God speaking to you, if you are yelling and carrying on? It doesn't work this way. You must remain still and quiet, and then he will come to you.

Your life is worth living, and God gave you life for a reason. Don't give up on it just because you believe you have no worth. That is a lie...and could be you are listening to the wrong things. Listen to what God has for you, and speak to him in quiet, and peace, and respect for him. Do not yell, or shout. This avails nothing.

I will pray for you.

 

[plmarquette]

and in my most desperate times ... there was only 1 set of foot prints in the sand ... god where were you ..... my child , my precious child , that is when i was carrying you...

psalm 118.5 i asked , god heard , done deal .... hear that devil !
daddy can and will fix me , friends , faith .... we have talked , it is settled ,
it is finished .... done deal ... amen and amen

 

[hypnagog]

Hey kiddo,
I can't even begin to understand the emotions your going through right now. 17 is a very tough time in a person's life, and some have it tougher than others. Don't think that you're alone however, take heart that many people have had tough adolescent times and ended up being very happy adults. If it's any consolation, I went through tough times at that age. I was an awkward kid, and friends I used to spend so much time with ended up getting involved with girls and slowly started deserting me. Girls wouldn't give me the time of day, losing friends, I was lonely, praying to God every night. And yes, ending it all was definitely a consideration. Instead God gave me the courage to turn bad things into positives. I started going to the gym, joined prayer groups, focused on school, anything to get my mind off my problems. I'm 25 now, and a far cry from the awkward boy I used to be, and very happy. Trust me, you will be happy one day, and regret you ever thought of ending it. God ALWAYS comes through, patience and persistence are necessities. Keep praying, do things for yourself, you are a very special girl and I know you'll get through it.
Dan

 

[Sketcher]

 

[Iwannaflyaway]

Hi guys I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while I've been busy with school and haven't really been in the mood. I've been feeling a little better...I know I always say this but I never feel all the way better. You guys have been so kind by writing your thoughts and words on this forum but it doesn't seem to be helping...It's not you...It's me. I really don't know what to do. I have so many questions but there all mixed up so I don't even want think about them. My mom has been leaving me alot these past months to go spend time with someone else I don't have much of a relationship with her but it hurts when she just abandons me. I sleep alone in my house most of the time cause she isn't here. I dont really like her being here but it's her job to take care of me and love me right?...Does that make sense? I'm scared of what you guys are going to say...Usually when I tell people my situation they tell me to do impossible things. I just need love I just want to feel all better I need to feel Gods love but I don't think I ever will. I'm scared... I'm never motivated to do anything Im never exited to talk to God anymore...I never want to do anything...What should I do...Please keep praying for me.

 

[Faith In God]

I don't know what to do...All I know is that I havn't killed myself yet and maybe thats God but I need to feel God I can't do anymore of this little kid beliveing...I need to feel him. Please Pray for me. I'm kind of relying on you. I need help.

Man: Where are you, God?
Fish: Where are you, water?

Both need what they are looking for to survive.
I'm sorry for the things you are going through, but just because you are has very little to do with God. Why did the snake bite Paul? There was no reason for it happening. Well, it happened because life happened. Life happens, and God does not promise a good lifetime here. We do not work on feelings but on faith. You say that this baby faith is not enough: ...I don't know what to tell you. Unless you have had a lobotomy and had a picture taken of your brain, you have much less proof that there is a brain in your skull than that there is God. You do not need to feel Him, because we walk by faith, not by our senses. If it's faith problem, then just remember that your intellect isn't always right in its feelings. If it's a life problem, get your faith together, and trust that God's people are always at the right place at the right time.

 

[Gods_princess]

i no how u feel i've been through that for now 4 years and only mid last year did i find God and my life is slowy turning around just never give up faith

 

[ub4me]

He is there in your tears, he sees you cry
He is there in your heart though it aches inside
He is there in your soul look deep within
He is there with a Love, that shall never end

God will never leave us nor forsake us

I sweetheart ,will lift you up in prayer, and ask God to show you His love
He did that on the cross you know
And I am sure over and over again His Love has protected us, from even ourselves
as well as many other evils that we are unaware of.
we need Him daily, aknowledge Him in all your ways, your path will be much clearer then....

 

[wayfaring man]

Greetings Chelsey , and all ,

Hi guys I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while I've been busy ...

Me too .

...I know I always say this but I never feel all the way better.

" Always " , " never " , and " all the way " are words referring to absolute extremes which we who are in the process of being refined and regenerated can rarely use appropriately .

Moderation is what is called for -

Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. <-----> Philippians 4:5

Resist the urge to attempt to " frame " things by extremes ... i.e. " either always or never ; either can't do , or have to ; either everybody or nobody ... etc., etc.

These , most of the time , are exagerations of the truth .

Satan deals with distortions of the truth , and one of his favorite means of distorting the truth is to exagerate , in such a way as to suggest that we are either one extreme or the other ... which is so seldom the case ... usually the truth is that both extremes are present at any given time , with one manifesting somewhat more dominantly than the other , depending on a whole host of factors , with our relationship to the Word of God being chief among them .

You guys have been so kind by writing your thoughts and words on this forum but it doesn't seem to be helping...It's not you...It's me. I really don't know what to do. I have so many questions but there all mixed up so I don't even want think about them.

Prayerfully set priorities and disciplines .

Hold fast within your mind the things of God which you are most assured of , and know that the enemies of truth will try to distract you away from those things ( cause that's their [ dishonorable ] role ) ; but among those things of which we can be most assured of as being true ( regardless of temporary circumstances that seem to contradict ) , is that , God is Good ! And Good is consequently greater than evil , [ For none is greater than God ] , and therefore good will triumph gloriously ; though we may be required to learn patience and perseverance along the way to Absolute , Undeniable , Manifestation of The Truth .

Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. <-----> Psalm 143:10

Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ . <-----> 1st Peter 1:13

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nay'-fo
Of uncertain affinity; to abstain from wine (keep sober), that is, (figuratively) be discreet: - be sober, watch.


Main Entry: dis·creet
Pronunciation: di-'skrEt
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French discret, from Medieval Latin discretus, from Latin, past participle of discernere to separate, distinguish between -- more at DISCERN
1 : having or showing discernment or good judgment in conduct and especially in speech : PRUDENT; especially : capable of preserving prudent silence
2 : UNPRETENTIOUS, MODEST - the warmth and discreet elegance of a civilized home -- Joseph Wechsberg>
3 : UNOBTRUSIVE, UNNOTICEABLE <followed at a discreet distance>

The answers to most all pertinent questions concerning God , and life and/or death can be found through innocently studying Scripture .

Innocently - because selfish / sinful motivations will not be honored .
( James 4:3 )

And : Studying - because deep / profound truths are scarcely gleaned by causally skimming across the pages of Sacred Text .
( 2nd Timothy 2:16 )

Futhermore to leave our studying to another / others , is akin to putting one's trust in man ; where we know not within ourself first hand , whereof lies provision for false / superficial confidences plagued with a diversity of uncompatible doubts . ( Acts 17:11 ; 1st Timothy 1:7 & Hebrews 10:34 )

My mom has been leaving me alot these past months to go spend time with someone else I don't have much of a relationship with her but it hurts when she just abandons me . I sleep alone in my house most of the time cause she isn't here. I dont really like her being here but it's her job to take care of me and love me right?...Does that make sense?

You are 17 , going on 18 ... Have you ever heard the account of baby eagles growing up and learning to fly ?

The parent eagles make a sturdy , softly lined nest , way up high , hatch an egg or two , feed and care for the chicks , till they begin to take mature form , then they teach them to fly , by demonstrating flight , and tearing the nest lining away , to make it uncomfortable for the young eaglet(s) , and if that doesn't get the point across the parents nudge them over the side , so they can experience what those wings are for ... but if the young eagle fails to fly , a parent swoops down to catch it and return it to the nest , and the process starts over again , until the youngsters learn to be independent and fend for themselves . ( See Deuteronomy 32:9-12 )

I'm scared of what you guys are going to say...Usually when I tell people my situation they tell me to do impossible things. I just need love I just want to feel all better...

( See John 14:21-26 & Luke 11:1-14 )


We

We look good because

We feel good .

And we feel good because

We do good .

And we do good because

The Lord has done great things for us !

I need to feel Gods love but I don't think I ever will. I'm scared... I'm never motivated to do anything Im never exited to talk to God anymore...I never want to do anything...

Again , we , who are in this present state of being transformed , hardly have the capacity to grasp in detail what will ever be , or never be ... the answer is to learn to trust in The One who does have that capacity , i.e. Our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ His Chosen One to mediate , via the Holy Spirit , between God and humanity .

Once again this taking of things to inaccurate extremes is a device of the devil , in an attempt to throw our minds off on that which is more than we can bear ... submit to what you are most assured that The Lord's will is instructing you to do - right here , right now ; as we live in the present , not in " ever " or " never " , and then through the edification of a good conscience towards God , we can tell , with authority , those fearful extreme thoughts to leave us , for we are not about worrying over things beyond our control , but have committed the keeping of our soul to Him who holds the world in the palm of His Hand . ( James 4:7 & Isaiah 40:10-28 )

If this seems hard to perform , and failures appear , keep reaffirming what you know within yourself is right , and like the baby eagle who learned how to fly , though persevering , and it's parents' longsufferingly coming to it's rescue many times , if necessary ... even so does the Lord lovingly bear with us , when we are attempting to do what is fitting and right , though we fail miserably , God will not cease to support us , for He will not shun an effort which aims appropriately towards the heavens above .

Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.
He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. <-----> Isaiah 40:28-31

Most of us do not excel at everything , apply yourself where your God-given talents manifest .

We all experience some sorrow and pain , along with some joy and pleasure , it's all part of the necessary contrast which allows us to define and differentiate our existence , and does testify that our stability must come from above , to be truly stable and enduring .

What should I do...

We Are - Therefore We Do

When we do our little part

A connection is made

Which links us to The Majors

In no uncertain Way !

Though many may scoff

At simple loving deeds

Our Father Who is in Heaven

Shines His Glorious Face

On each who perform these .

And The Splendor of His Favor

Lights a Fire in our hearts

Which none of damp and dreary

Can darken or put out

And so we bid thee

Dearest friend

Do the simply loving

Fret not about the Grand

Joys shall gather 'round thee

And thy misery shall end .

Please keep praying for me.

May we pray together , agree in spirit , and may The Lord be pleased to hear our prayers , for His Holy Name's Sake . Amen .

Peace and Joy In The Beloved ,

wm