I feel insecure sometimes..

[Inthisskin22x]

I dunt know, but Lately i've been feeling like every guy looks at porn and masturbates. My dad was sex addicted, he hurt my mom. My boyfriend is sex addicted, broke my heart. I just feel so disappointed, and hurt Does every guy touch or look at porn in their life? Im not ugly, i'm very attractive. Im a wonderful christian woman who loves learning more about Jesus, and God.

But When this happens to us woman, we don't know what to feel

Thank you all for your advice, and my prayers are with you all!

God Bless!!!

My boyfriend tells me he's not addicted, but im afraid cause his father did it, his brother did it, his friends do it, so why wouldn't he? He say's hes a christian, but calling me names like Ugly, and names that aren't even close to me.

Then after he say's he's sorry, but he does it again the next day. If i ask him if he has a problem with porn and sex, he say's hes not like that, and that its disgusting and gross. He always thought it was, I start crying sometimes.

I have no idea what to say to him. I Love him, but I love God more, and I'll do what God want's me to do.

 

[meh]

Dear Inthisskin, this issue is close to my heart. I went through this in a past relationship.

What I wish someone had told me then is that your boyfriend's looking at porn has nothing to do with you. It's not because you are ugly or not a good girlfriend. It has nothing to do with you. He would look at these things whether he was dating you or not. These are his choices and while they hurt, they have nothing to do with your self-worth. Please do not let his actions bring down your self-esteem. He has no right to call you names, either.

I do not know what God wants for you in regards to this. I do know He does not want you hurting. Deep and often prayer will help lead you to His will. You are in my prayers.

 

[FallingWaters]

He doesn't deserve you if he's going to call you names like that.

 

[Johnnz]

Seems to me he has a few unresloved isues in his life. I would back off for quite a while, and see waht happens in his life. With that background he is going to work real hard on several issues in his life.

John
NZ

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I dunt know, but Lately i've been feeling like every guy looks at porn and masturbates. My dad was sex addicted, he hurt my mom. My boyfriend is sex addicted, broke my heart. I just feel so disappointed, and hurt Does every guy touch or look at porn in their life? Im not ugly, i'm very attractive. Im a wonderful christian woman who loves learning more about Jesus, and God.

But When this happens to us woman, we don't know what to feel

Thank you all for your advice, and my prayers are with you all!

God Bless!!!

My boyfriend tells me he's not addicted, but im afraid cause his father did it, his brother did it, his friends do it, so why wouldn't he? He say's hes a christian, but calling me names like Ugly, and names that aren't even close to me.

Then after he say's he's sorry, but he does it again the next day. If i ask him if he has a problem with porn and sex, he say's hes not like that, and that its disgusting and gross. He always thought it was, I start crying sometimes.

I have no idea what to say to him. I Love him, but I love God more, and I'll do what God want's me to do.

He calls you ugly? That is unacceptable.

What do you mean your boyfriend is sex addicted, but claims he doesn't touch or look at porn? In what way would he be sex addicted? Is he always wanting sex from you?

I can see why you would have issues with trust in this area, given your experiences.

You are not obligated to endure a relationship. You shouldn't have to endure it or always be left wondering about things.

Also, maybe you should take a break from dating for a while. On the one hand, you have to find a guy worth trusting. On the other hand you have to be willing and capable of trusting him.

 

[Donnywazoo]

Calling a person names is often to make them feel bad as the name-caller does too. It's a form of bullying.

Here's how it often goes: I feel bad and she/he seems to be happy. Man that sucks. I'll tell them they are 'garbage' somehow. Ha, ha - that's funny. She/he looks sad. Ha, ha... How come I don't actual feel happier? That sucks. I'll try it some more... Maybe I'll feel better if they really feel bad... and so it goes on.

Now, the bully is not going to admit they feel bad. If anything, they could well put up a facade to make them appear really happy. But, ask yourself, why is the person mean to me? What is their purpose?

You then have a decision. Do you continue to let yourself be bullied? (I'd suggest NOT). Do you tell the person what you they are doing and tell them what change is needed, if it is not done, what the consequence is (you have to be prepared to carry through or it is not believeable and won't work). Do you walk away now, knowing you can almost never change a person - they have to want the change themselves? You need to decide what is right for you.

Also, if the person is open to change, think about what support networks might be needed - for you and your partner. Being called a name might not seem like a huge deal - but if not addressed, it is probably only the beginning - plus, don't you deserve to be treated with respect? I think it is irrelevant whether you are physically attractive or not, or you do not deserve to have a comment made that is intended to put you down.

 

[pdudgeon]

agreeing with everyone here. step back from this relationship!
you do not need someone who belittles you, but someone who honors you.

 

[Gwen'sMom]

It will hurt to back off from this guy but you in no way deserve to be spoken to like that. I was stuck in a situation like that at one time too. Breaking away was hard and I felt like I didn't matter, but I did matter. Now I look back and I see that this guy was just a learning experience. (I wasn't even a Christian yet). Please know that Jesus loves you so very much.