I feel defeated

I admit, although there are times I think I am making progress, on the other hand I feel like I understand nothing and am in darkness. I'm at the point where I am very very aware of my sins, particularly one which I can't get much control over.

I feel defeated and that God is shaking his head at me and is not happy with anything I do. I don't grasp God's love and mercy for me. I believe the Gospel message and I believe on Jesus Christ to the best of my ability. But I have no joy in my life because I am trying so hard to believe in God's love for me, and I just utterly fail.

I guess I'm looking for words of comfort and maybe someone who has gone or is going thru the same things.

Praying for you brother.

MAT:13:46 Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.

Unshakable peace isn't gong to come until you make up your mind to totally sell out and fully follow the Spirit.

When the cloud moved, the children of Israel moved, when the cloud stopped, the children of Israel stopped.

It's as simple as that.

And why not?
Got something better to do?

Get out of the way and let Christ use you.

One of the most wonderful verses in all Scripture, at least to my mind, is "Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief." I use this as a prayer quite often. Not offering this to you as a cure-all, but you might find it quite helpful.

His grace is sufficient.
When there is a feeling of being lost or forsaken it helps to meditate on Psalm 23. Being in the valley of the shadow of death is a hard place and we all face it and we all get through with the Lord's help.

Christownsme said:

I admit, although there are times I think I am making progress, on the other hand I feel like I understand nothing and am in darkness. I'm at the point where I am very very aware of my sins, particularly one which I can't get much control over.

I feel defeated and that God is shaking his head at me and is not happy with anything I do. I don't grasp God's love and mercy for me. I believe the Gospel message and I believe on Jesus Christ to the best of my ability. But I have no joy in my life because I am trying so hard to believe in God's love for me, and I just utterly fail.

I guess I'm looking for words of comfort and maybe someone who has gone or is going thru the same things.

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I've gone through this too. You just don't know how to get victory over sin. All the sufferings of your life are because of it.
There was a time when I questioned God why can't I overcome? I felt like He spoke to me: "And do you make every effort to overcome?"
It was an answer. I tried to remember everything to find out if I made sufficient efforts to get a victiry. Do you know what I got?
To be honest, I didn't make efforts at all. Well, maybe just a little.

It has helped me. The Bible says:
"From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force" (Matt.11:12)

"Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." (1Pet.1:5-8)

Of course you should do this with prayer so that God would help you because we can do this only with His strength and power. But to recieve this power we must recieve the Holy Spirit.

"But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us" (Rom 8:37).
It's written in other translation also: "But all these things we counquer by the mighty power of Him who loved us" (Russian Synodal Version).

May Jesus help you!

Christownsme said:

I admit, although there are times I think I am making progress, on the other hand I feel like I understand nothing and am in darkness. I'm at the point where I am very very aware of my sins, particularly one which I can't get much control over.

I feel defeated and that God is shaking his head at me and is not happy with anything I do. I don't grasp God's love and mercy for me. I believe the Gospel message and I believe on Jesus Christ to the best of my ability. But I have no joy in my life because I am trying so hard to believe in God's love for me, and I just utterly fail.

I guess I'm looking for words of comfort and maybe someone who has gone or is going thru the same things.

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The mistake you're making is that you think Gods love is conditioned upon your performance, when scripture says that even while we were sinners, Christ died for us. That is the heart of God displayed for all of the world to see. God loves you enough that He sent His Son to die for your sins, and even if it was just you, He still would have done it. There is no way you could believe He doesn't love you if you would only acknowledge the sacrifice of His Son for you on the cross. Jesus took your punishment upon Himself so that you could be reconciled to the Father, and His blood is the provision for your sins:

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The devil is trying to get you to believe a lie, that you are condemned. When Jesus died on the cross He said "It is finished". You are Gods child, and the blood of Jesus covers your sins. Notice it says that when you confess you are cleansed from *all* unrighteousness? That means you are holy and blameless in His sight. Do you think the blood of Jesus is not sufficient to cover your sins? That is what you are believing when you think you are too bad for God to love you. That is one of the devils favorite lies to tell Gods children.

You don't need to believe in Gods love, you need to receive it. You need to understand it as a fact based on Gods truth and not based on what you can do for God.

There are two reasons why you are stuck in your sin. The first is that you haven't let it go. You are still holding on to it and making allowance for it in your life. You have not yet completely agreed with God about your sin and turned your back on it. That is why you are being defeated over and over again. The second reason is that you are trying to do it under your own strength. You said things like "I am trying so hard" and "the best of my ability" and so forth. The fact is that your best is not good enough:

Isaiah 64:6 But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.

Our righteousness is like filthy rags to a holy God. There is nothing good within us apart from Christ. That's why He said this:

John 15:5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Apart from Him you can do nothing, including overcoming your sin. Your belief that God is turning His back on you is what is preventing from receiving the help you need. God put His Spirit IN you to help you and teach you, to make you a new man. You are not distant from God; He lives inside of you and He wants to help you overcome these hurdles, but you have to be willing to surrender to His control. You can't free yourself but God promised to free you from sin:

Micah 7:19

He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.

Are you ready to stop fighting this battle under your own strength and surrender? That is where victory is, because Christ already won this battle at the cross. You are trying to fight against a defeated foe; Jesus wants you to step into the victory He got us at Calvary by submitting to His Lordship and letting Him fight this battle for you.

Christownsme said:

I admit, although there are times I think I am making progress, on the other hand I feel like I understand nothing and am in darkness. I'm at the point where I am very very aware of my sins, particularly one which I can't get much control over.

I feel defeated and that God is shaking his head at me and is not happy with anything I do. I don't grasp God's love and mercy for me. I believe the Gospel message and I believe on Jesus Christ to the best of my ability. But I have no joy in my life because I am trying so hard to believe in God's love for me, and I just utterly fail.

I guess I'm looking for words of comfort and maybe someone who has gone or is going thru the same things.

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Get medical help. This sounds like clinical depression to me.

thesunisout : The mistake you're making is that you think Gods love is conditioned upon your performance, when scripture says ...

thesunisout, I apologize for not reading the whole post.

Kemosabe said:

thesunisout : The mistake you're making is that you think Gods love is conditioned upon your performance, when scripture says ...

Rev 2:5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.

Mat 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

You're saved by grace, the rest of the journey is conditional.

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There're too little people who understand this...The vast majority belives in Calvinism and unconditional love, unconditional salvation etc.

Kemosabe said:

thesunisout : The mistake you're making is that you think Gods love is conditioned upon your performance, when scripture says ...

Rev 2:5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.

Mat 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

You're saved by grace, the rest of the journey is conditional.

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I was referring to a specific scripture in the quote that got cut off which backs up my supposition:

"The mistake you're making is that you think Gods love is conditioned upon your performance, when scripture says that even while we were sinners, Christ died for us."

This is the scripture:

Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

God demonstrated His love for us on the cross, dying for us while we were unregenerate sinners who were rebelling against Him. Do you think God alternatively loves and hates His children depending on how they're doing on a particular day? You are speaking of a schizophrenic God who you will not find in the scripture.

Revelation 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

Even when Christians fall, God shows His love for us by chastening us. And the parable of the prodigal son tells us that God is longing to lavish His love upon those who have fallen away, if they would just repent and return to Him.

emmyan said:

There're too little people who understand this...The vast majority belives in Calvinism and unconditional love, unconditional salvation etc.

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The scripture says God loved us before we loved Him (1 John 4:19). God does have unconditional love for all people, which was demonstrated on the cross as I just showed in Romans 5:8. I am not a calvanist and I dont believe in unconditional salvation but Gods love is not conditioned upon our performance. He loved us while we were sinners, and He loves us when we mess up. The scripture says that when He corrects us it is the evidence of His love for us.

BarryDesborough said:

Get medical help. This sounds like clinical depression to me.

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Barry,
You are the only one who has gotten the closest.. I suffer from schizoaffective, which is bipolar and schizophrenia combined. Common themes with people like me is slow cognitive strengths, false fixed beliefs, guilt, and the worst is that other people judge me in their hearts and say I am holding on to sin, that I am getting in the way of Christ working in my life, when if you talk with others with the same diagnosis you find it's more than just spiritual. It's clinical and physical.

I do have medical professionals helping me, like a psychiatrist and a Christian counselor.

thesunisout, I apologize for not reading the whole post.

Christownsme said:

Barry,
You are the only one who has gotten the closest.. I suffer from schizoaffective, which is bipolar and schizophrenia combined. Common themes with people like me is slow cognitive strengths, false fixed beliefs, guilt, and the worst is that other people judge me in their hearts and say I am holding on to sin, that I am getting in the way of Christ working in my life, when if you talk with others with the same diagnosis you find it's more than just spiritual. It's clinical and physical.

I do have medical professionals helping me, like a psychiatrist and a Christian counselor.

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In all this, just remember that God is the healer. When God heals the spirit/heart, He heals the mental condition as well. If it is a physical condition, He can heal that as well, but might desire to not heal the physical so that you can be used for His purposes.

There is nothing impossible for God. God desires all men to be healed - spiritually, mentally, and usually physically and He can do it.

I can tell you from experience. God will not take or heal a person from something that they are still wanting to hang onto in any way. God waits until we so dislike our sin so much that we cannot bear to live with the sin any longer. Then God will take it away from us - when we earnestly want it gone and we pray to Him to have it gone.

This is how bad we must desire our sin to be away from us. We must be willing to even go without the good to be free of the evil.

Matt 18:8-9 - If your hand or your foot causes you to sin cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 9 And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell. NIV

Of course this is a physical representation of what must happen spiritually, but I hope you can understand what I am saying.

Christownsme said:

Barry,
You are the only one who has gotten the closest.. I suffer from schizoaffective, which is bipolar and schizophrenia combined. Common themes with people like me is slow cognitive strengths, false fixed beliefs, guilt, and the worst is that other people judge me in their hearts and say I am holding on to sin, that I am getting in the way of Christ working in my life, when if you talk with others with the same diagnosis you find it's more than just spiritual. It's clinical and physical.

I do have medical professionals helping me, like a psychiatrist and a Christian counselor.

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I'm not a qualified expert, but someone very close to me, and whom I love deeply, suffers from serious clinical depression. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Have you tried medication? It is a better choice than not, if you do become suicidal. The last thing you need is people being critical. Find those who are supportive. Open up to them. Nobody with any sense would blame you for a broken leg. Why should they blame you if your brain chemistry is broken?

((Hugs)) for you. Hang in there. XXX

We all go thru this.....I have periods of where I can hear God very closely but I'm in alot of pain when I go thru those times. Other times when I am so distracted with what I have going on that I feel so far away from God when He comes to my mind.....These things are best accepted and don't be sad. Just you being aware is a sign that God is with you....He teaches us in alot of different ways. I'm going thru a trial that I wished I would of listened to Him when He was saying it was a bad choice.

thesunisout said:

The scripture says God loved us before we loved Him (1 John 4:19). God does have unconditional love for all people, which was demonstrated on the cross as I just showed in Romans 5:8. I am not a calvanist and I dont believe in unconditional salvation but Gods love is not conditioned upon our performance. He loved us while we were sinners, and He loves us when we mess up. The scripture says that when He corrects us it is the evidence of His love for us.

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I appologize if I said the wrong thing about you...The thing I meant was that God's goodwill toward us is conditional. I mean if you commit sin, you will cause His anger to fall upon you without any doubts. And if you live obeying Him - then surely you'll be blessed.
What I mean is written in Deuteronomy 28 and 30.

Kemosabe said:

thesunisout, I apologize for not reading the whole post.

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It's okay. God bless you.

emmyan said:

I appologize if I said the wrong thing about you...The thing I meant was that God's goodwill toward us is conditional. I mean if you commit sin, you will cause His anger to fall upon you without any doubts. And if you live obeying Him - then surely you'll be blessed.
What I mean is written in Deuteronomy 28 and 30.

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No problem. Yes, if we are not reconciled to God through Christ His wrath abides on us. Thanks for the scripture.