I feel broken

[God is good777]

hi everyone I am 17 years old right now I am struggling with my assurance of salvation. I've been saved since I was 11 and I have given my life many times after that because I was never sure if i had believed enough or did it right or something like that. Anyways when I was 15 my uncle and great grandma died in the same week and I was heart broken i really was. I asked God why did he let this happen to both of them and on the same week to boot. Anyways about 2 months after I started down a bad path watching pornography and cussing and just going over the deep end and I lived liked this till about 16 and one day it hit me like a semi truck hitting me going 50 down the road.

I felt awful for all the things I had done and said and just the way I was acting. So I went to YouTube and looked up some videos about my situation and found a Dr Charles Stanley video and it helped me alot and at the end I gave my life to God again. And I just felt so relieved and just overjoyed at the fact that I had finally come to Christ. And I went on and started praying again every day and reading my Bible and watching more of his sermons online and it was wonderful.
Fast forward to when the coronvirus started. I was doing great then one day I woke up and there was just a voice in my head saying I wasn't saved. Saying I had not done it right I didn't mean it when I asked Jesus into my life to forgive and repented of my sins. Now I was still free of pornography since that day I gave my life to Jesus and I had almost completely stepped cussing. But these feelings that I didn't believe would just not go away.
So I go online and read some websites that talk about this and they pointed to the fact that I am saved. Now I have ocd and I believe I have scrupilocity for anyone who knows what that is. And so I read a website or watched a sermon on it felt better for maby a day but then the next day im back to feeling like I'm not really saved. Then I start having doubts that God is even real. And im just in this loop of torture that I have been going through since then. I've prayed that God would take it away and ive read my Bible and looked up videos on it and I just can't get rid of this sinking feeling that im not saved.

Now these voices are not new ive had them before when i was about 12 years old one day o woke up and had these voices saying you dont belong to God you arnt his child you are the devils child. Now i wss young and i didn't know what to think of any of this and I got super scared. I didn't want to tell my parents cause I thought they would think im a monster and abandon me or something even tho now I know they would not have but I just kept it all in. And that went on for a year and it stopped when I stopped reading my Bible and praying so I kinda got out of thst habit for a bit but when I was 13 I went back to reading the bible and praying agian. Also i was extremely suicidal back then when i was young i just wanted to die everyday pretty much and thought about taking my own life a few times.

Im back in that state where sometimes I wake up and just want to die. I haven't tried anything or even thought about doing anything but I just feel like death would be better than this right now. I've prayed to God about this so much and I feel i just dont get any answers or anything. I'm in a broken spot and I just need some advice and prayers right now i don't know what to do anymore.

 

[Anthony2019]

Hello GodisGood777
Thanks for sharing your story with us. I think the most important thing to realise is that you are not alone.
It may seem like it sometimes, but there are many Christians who have gone through situations similar to yours. There will be a lot of Christians reading your post who can identify with the things you say and will be praying for you. Also, you are not alone, because God is watching over you. There is nothing you can do to make him think of you more and there is nothing you can do to make him think of you less. You will always be precious to Him.
I think it would be a good idea to chat to someone you know very well, maybe a family member or a trusted friend, to talk through your feelings with them. If you are experiencing feelings of hopelessness or despair, or feeling anxious or depressed, it may also be a good idea to speak with your doctor as they will be able to help you.
God cares for your GodisGood777. He understands all your fears, your anxieties and your feelings of sadness and despair. He has promised never to leave you or forsake you. You may not feel that assurance right now, but it will come. And He has great plans for you, to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

 

[God is good777]

Hello GodisGood777
Thanks for sharing your story with us. I think the most important thing to realise is that you are not alone.
It may seem like it sometimes, but there are many Christians who have gone through situations similar to yours. There will be a lot of Christians reading your post who can identify with the things you say and will be praying for you. Also, you are not alone, because God is watching over you. There is nothing you can do to make him think of you more and there is nothing you can do to make him think of you less. You will always be precious to Him.
I think it would be a good idea to chat to someone you know very well, maybe a family member or a trusted friend, to talk through your feelings with them. If you are experiencing feelings of hopelessness or despair, or feeling anxious or depressed, it may also be a good idea to speak with your doctor as they will be able to help you.
God cares for your GodisGood777. He understands all your fears, your anxieties and your feelings of sadness and despair. He has promised never to leave you or forsake you. You may not feel that assurance right now, but it will come. And He has great plans for you, to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

Man thank you i know im not alone in this but it is hard to see that sometimes. Ijust want to be able to talk to you people about the gospel confidently as well but in my state I just can't. And I do have the feelings of hopelessness despair anxiety and frustration over it all. I'll try to talk to my doctor soon about it and to someone close for sure. Thank you again for you encouraging words i just want to love Jesus more and more and not have all this holding me back. God bless you and thank you again.

 

[Anthony2019]

Man thank you i know im not alone in this but it is hard to see that sometimes. Ijust want to be able to talk to you people about the gospel confidently as well but in my state I just can't. And I do have the feelings of hopelessness despair anxiety and frustration over it all. I'll try to talk to my doctor soon about it and to someone close for sure. Thank you again for you encouraging words i just want to love Jesus more and more and not have all this holding me back. God bless you and thank you again.

You're very welcome. And I forgot to say that you should never think that you have to get everything sorted out with yourself before coming to God. God is listening to you - even right now. As you reach out for help from your friends, your doctor, trust that God will be with you all the way, helping you, guiding you and providing for you.
With every blessing.

 

[God is good777]

You're very welcome. And I forgot to say that you should never think that you have to get everything sorted out with yourself before coming to God. God is listening to you - even right now. As you reach out for help from your friends, your doctor, trust that God will be with you all the way, helping you, guiding you and providing for you.
With every blessing.

Yes your very right i have to keep that in mind i can come to him in my most broken state imaginable it doesn't matter he is there for me thank you for those words i truly appreciate it alot and ill keep him in my thoughts as I go through and will be praying often. God bless you again sir !

 

[Amittai]

My opinion is, to be saved is something that shall happen, you are on the road to it and I am on the road to it. Meantime we can use our best inference from Scriptures and God's providence that we have assurance of it.

Your powerful story proves God helps; and my ups and downs span nearly four times as long but are similar: God's help keeps on reappearing. Am saying the Our Father for you.

 

[Jeshu]

The best is to not believe those thoughts in your head for then they can't torture you any longer. Try it in reverse, that worked really good for me, i engaged in thoughts that God was real and used the Scriptures as my fact checker, within in no time the God is not even true ideas started to wean for i gave them no weight any longer.

Unbelief is sown in our hearts by the lies of this world, about God, ourselves, our neighbours and Creation itself. Unbelief brings unrest and confusion. While faith in God brings peace and rest alive in our hearts let that be the proof that He is true as He says.

God makes everything He teaches come true in our hearts first that is the evidence that He is true God. If we believe lies then we created unrest and good life begins to die, but if we believe in Him good life comes our way, each day a bit more.

Peace.

Unbelief.

Your voice turned me utterly insane,
believing your suggestions
thinking there is no God.
For you betrayed my Good Life,
pushing me into that bottomless pit,
into fiery Hell for years on end.

Flying right through my reality,
your miserable voice dividing
myself against myself,
your taunts attacking faithful self,
hopelessness cutting me up,
your lies barring access to true Life!

No faith feeding my starving soul,
instead doubt, confusion and terror,
false evidence locking my hopes away,
devoid from true self or any good thing,
torturing me in those dark dungeons,
you only ever set out to murder me!

 

[God is good777]

The best is to not believe those thoughts in your head for then they can't torture you any longer. Try it in reverse, that worked really good for me, i engaged in thoughts that God was real and used the Scriptures as my fact checker, within in no time the God is not even true ideas started to wean for i gave them no weight any longer.

Unbelief is sown in our hearts by the lies of this world, about God, ourselves, our neighbours and Creation itself. Unbelief brings unrest and confusion. While faith in God brings peace and rest alive in our hearts let that be the proof that He is true as He says.

God makes everything He teaches come true in our hearts first that is the evidence that He is true God. If we believe lies then we created unrest and good life begins to die, but if we believe in Him good life comes our way, each day a bit more.

Peace.

Unbelief.

Your voice turned me utterly insane,
believing your suggestions
thinking there is no God.
For you betrayed my Good Life,
pushing me into that bottomless pit,
into fiery Hell for years on end.

Flying right through my reality,
your miserable voice dividing
myself against myself,
your taunts attacking faithful self,
hopelessness cutting me up,
your lies barring access to true Life!

No faith feeding my starving soul,
instead doubt, confusion and terror,
false evidence locking my hopes away,
devoid from true self or any good thing,
torturing me in those dark dungeons,
you only ever set out to murder me!

Your right i got to ignore those voices and just focus on God and the bible. I mean i just wonder sometimes if the voices is how my heart actually feels but that makes no sense. But I just need to ignore those voices its just something im not always good at but with Jesus I will work on it thank you and that quote on the bottom of your post is extremely true. God bless you and have a great day.

 

[God is good777]

My opinion is, to be saved is something that shall happen, you are on the road to it and I am on the road to it. Meantime we can use our best inference from Scriptures and God's providence that we have assurance of it.

Your powerful story proves God helps; and my ups and downs span nearly four times as long but are similar: God's help keeps on reappearing. Am saying the Our Father for you.

Thank you for the encouragement when I look at the sins he has brought me out of there is no way I did that by myself it was all Jesus. Cause if I didn't believe in him and want to try to please him why would I ever stop taking part of those things.

Thank you again and God bless you i appreciate your encouragement.

 

[Richard T]

The bible is full of stories where men have fallen in all sorts of ways but got back on track. The prodigal son, King David, the apostle Paul, Peter, etc. See Jesus as more of a friend, one that is going to help you at every turn and not as one that is going to punish you.
Proverbs 24:16 (KJV)
16 For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.
A good book that helps you see your position in Christ, and helps you get free from the mentality that you have not done enough is the classic called "Sit, Walk, Stand by Watchman Nee.
While your salvation is complete, in our minds it is just getting filled out. Give yourself some slack on this. You are blessed and loved by God. Make effort each day and as you plant the word of God in your life, you shall have a great harvest.

 

[Mokelizer]

God is Good777, my young friend and Theophilus.

When you read the Bible, make note to underline or make Bold the promises of God. This are indeed just that, Promises from the Creator to little ol' you in your shaky faith.

This verse is my personal anchor, it is my most loved and easily understood promise:

"If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is LORD," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Roman 10:9

Now I can already hear your reply; Ok but what if i'm shaky or question it or doubt??? Well i'm glad you asked!

"I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ. 2 I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. 3 You are still worldly. 4 For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings?" 1 Cor. 3:1-4

That comes across harsh, however note that Paul didn't say they weren't trying to follow; only that they we're trying to follow something causing division and that they (you) hadn't fully matured yet. Remember, it didn't say they didn't have a desire to follow God or weren't trying to do so as we think of "trying".

First, a question for you: Jesus was in the Temple on the Sabbath one day and there was a man with a withered hand. The Pharisee's we're looking to see if he would heal on the Sabbath which they considered a work and against the Law. Jesus said to the man "Stretch out your hand", He did so and it was completely restored. Luke 6:6

Now, who did the Work? Did the man who stretched his hand, did Jesus who gave the command or maybe the Holy Spirit... There isn't a correct answer in my opinion and that's what I love this one, it's something I pondered and brought to God to understand.

I glean that it was his Faith that healed him, so while Jesus commanded him, the man elected (chose) to obey and by faith He was made well. Much like the woman who touched the Hem of Jesus' garment and power departed from Him, when Jesus saw her he said "your faith has made you well." Mark 5:34

I don't mean to digress, simply conveying that we don't always see or know how the work is done we only learn its yield from the promises written in the Bible. Eventually we mature and learn what attributes yield more and better results but it's not through our holiness it's accomplished... I can honestly tell you this, when you start to fear God or have a healthy respect for Hell (utter despair, God never hears our pleas in the Lake of Fire - scares me a lot) its then that Solomon said "the Fear of the Lord is the beginning of understanding". Yes only the beginning, so take that to heart. Proverbs 9:10

Lastly, take heart because shortly after Paul reveals something profound:
"I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. 7 So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8 The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor." 1 Corinthians 3:1-15

So take the promises in the Bible for during those times you know to Ask, Seek and Knock; that also if you seek wisdom God gives to all liberally and without finding fault. These ones of simplicity are what we receive the moment we got saved, we knew nothing except we're saved...
The ones that provide a clear promise, especially of salvation are to be made Bold and Underlined.


Lastly in Isaiah it is said "his Word will not return to Him void but it will accomplish what He desires and the purpose for which He sent it". These are the promises given to me, you and anyone who will receive Jesus Christ "to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God-" John 1"11-13

I pray this helps, young friend in the faith!

 

[God is good777]

It is spiritual battle, my friend, I recommend that you decrease in stimulating, sugary, caffeinated foods, as well as reducing the consumption of entertainment, be it music, games, movies, etc.
I also when I am reading or looking at things that have pagan images or idols, be it a game or whatever, sometimes I have strange sensations, even dreams.

I dont usually drink any caffeinated drinks or foods or anything like that i rarely whatch tv if ever and the only music I listen to usually is 21 pilots and they are Christian their music is very clean no cussing in it or anything like that. I do play some video games but i don't play very often anymore.
Im not aware of playing any games that have pagan images or anything like that i may be wrong on that tho. But I'll take your advice for sure thank you and God bless your day.

 

[God is good777]

God is Good777, my young friend and Theophilus.

When you read the Bible, make note to underline or make Bold the promises of God. This are indeed just that, Promises from the Creator to little ol' you in your shaky faith.

This verse is my personal anchor, it is my most loved and easily understood promise:

"If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is LORD," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Roman 10:9

Now I can already hear your reply; Ok but what if i'm shaky or question it or doubt??? Well i'm glad you asked!

"I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly—mere infants in Christ. 2 I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. 3 You are still worldly. 4 For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not mere human beings?" 1 Cor. 3:1-4

That comes across harsh, however note that Paul didn't say they weren't trying to follow; only that they we're trying to follow something causing division and that they (you) hadn't fully matured yet. Remember, it didn't say they didn't have a desire to follow God or weren't trying to do so as we think of "trying".

First, a question for you: Jesus was in the Temple on the Sabbath one day and there was a man with a withered hand. The Pharisee's we're looking to see if he would heal on the Sabbath which they considered a work and against the Law. Jesus said to the man "Stretch out your hand", He did so and it was completely restored. Luke 6:6

Now, who did the Work? Did the man who stretched his hand, did Jesus who gave the command or maybe the Holy Spirit... There isn't a correct answer in my opinion and that's what I love this one, it's something I pondered and brought to God to understand.

I glean that it was his Faith that healed him, so while Jesus commanded him, the man elected (chose) to obey and by faith He was made well. Much like the woman who touched the Hem of Jesus' garment and power departed from Him, when Jesus saw her he said "your faith has made you well." Mark 5:34

I don't mean to digress, simply conveying that we don't always see or know how the work is done we only learn its yield from the promises written in the Bible. Eventually we mature and learn what attributes yield more and better results but it's not through our holiness it's accomplished... I can honestly tell you this, when you start to fear God or have a healthy respect for Hell (utter despair, God never hears our pleas in the Lake of Fire - scares me a lot) its then that Solomon said "the Fear of the Lord is the beginning of understanding". Yes only the beginning, so take that to heart. Proverbs 9:10

Lastly, take heart because shortly after Paul reveals something profound:
"I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. 7 So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8 The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor." 1 Corinthians 3:1-15

So take the promises in the Bible for during those times you know to Ask, Seek and Knock; that also if you seek wisdom God gives to all liberally and without finding fault. These ones of simplicity are what we receive the moment we got saved, we knew nothing except we're saved...
The ones that provide a clear promise, especially of salvation are to be made Bold and Underlined.


Lastly in Isaiah it is said "his Word will not return to Him void but it will accomplish what He desires and the purpose for which He sent it". These are the promises given to me, you and anyone who will receive Jesus Christ "to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God-" John 1"11-13

I pray this helps, young friend in the faith!

Thank you for this and yes I do fear the Lord and love him believe me the lake of fire scares me as well and the fact that he Cannot hear us when we are there is terrifying to me. He is a wonderful loving God but also a just God and he makes that clear to us in scripture the respect and fear I have for God is real if it was not i wouldn't be even thinking about this right now same goes for the love I have for Him and his son Jesus.

But your absolutely right i should cling onto the promises of God that he gives in the bible but the passage of Mathew 7:21-23 when i read it first scared me quite a bit. I know it seems to be more warning towards people who only did works and did not have a love for God. But it still always startles me a bit when I read it. But thank you what you said here and I appreciate it alot as I needed it. God bless you and have a great day.

 

[grace4ever]

Hello God is Good777,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us. I’m sorry for you are dealing with such a difficult situation. These forums are great for sharing burdens, venting, and asking for advice. And I know from my experiences that sometimes we do not know how to handle suffering. Suffering is neither good nor bad. And if we embrace it, we can allow our transformation into a better person. In spite of this situation let me tell you my brother in Christ that you are important and valuable person and you are a person of worth of dignity. You may be having a hard time believing this, but that doesn’t disqualify you from being love and valued for exactly who you are. Maybe you can take out good of this situation that you have to deal with. It is understandable for the way you feel. It seems that something is attacking you, something spiritual. The voices you hear of saying that you are not saved or the other comments you mentioned could come of the evil one. Let me tell you my brother in Christ that you’re not alone in this battle. Many fellow Christian believers tell similar stories, how a sin or sins they committed they get negative thoughts or feelings or even without any particular faults and yet, the evil one always likes to attack where they are weak. Jesus told us: I have told you this so that you might have peace in me. In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.” John 16,33. God promises us also that He will be with us until the end of the world. He loves us and does not put us in guilt, but is always merciful to us. It is very important to believe and trust in God’s mercy. Our sins are just a little drop in the immense ocean of His mercy. Remember, you are able to question those negative thoughts. And ask yourself what are they come from? They could come from the enemy. But there is something you can do. Always continue to keep praying and to command that these evil thoughts be sent to the foot of the cross of Jesus when you experience them again. I encourage to keep reading the Bible or Sacred Scriptures. Reading the good news will bring a lot of joy and peace. It is a great habit that you had when you were a teenager and it can help you through this journey, especially the Psalms, 23, 27, 91, 51, etc On the other hand, depression, or depressing thoughts that come in to us can be from a particular situation in life that has affected us. Depression comes from that we do not accept the past. However, let me tell you my friend that we can’t change the past but we can learn from it. We can learn from our mistakes and we can have a new fresh start. The person who suffers depression tends to see all dark, and the bad side of things. Is there some event or situation that you are encountering problems with in your life? A psychologist or psychiatrist can detect if you are suffering for depression or not. They are able to determine if the person has a psychological ailment or if that not the case, it could be something spiritual. But there is something you can do; you can take charge to control what is causing you to be depressed through therapy. Perhaps have you ever thought to seek Christian counseling or therapy? Christian counseling or therapy works through things like this. You are worthy and valuable of fighting for. Therapy can help you to determine what is causing depression and find solutions to overcome it. In spite of this situation let me tell you that you are important and valuable person and you are a person of worth of dignity. God loves you very much because He made you as His likeness and image. You may be having a hard time believing this, but that doesn’t disqualify you from being loved and valued for exactly who you are. I encourage you, to be thankful for what you have. Maybe you can create a list of the things what you have (for example: for life, your health, family, friends, etc.). Being grateful for what we have help us to recover the joy and peace. Let me tell you my brother in Christ that you do have a purpose in life. Maybe it can sound like a cliché however things happen for a reason and in the near future you can take out the good from this situation. This list-ly is extremely important for you are going through: Looking Up From The Stubborn Darkness | A Listly List. Please let me tell you my brother in Christ that you are not alone in this battle. Have you ever thought of seeking spiritual help from an exorcist priest? Maybe you can look for a local Catholic dioceses in your area and to see if you can get evaluation for your situation. These are persons who have to study about demonology and they are specialist to deal with situations like this. Please let me tell you my brother in Christ that you are not alone in this battle. I’ll leave this Hotline #s: 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).Hope this helps. Sending you hugs. I will keep you in my prayers, my brother in Christ.-keep us posted, OK?

 

[FutureAndAHope]

hi everyone I am 17 years old right now I am struggling with my assurance of salvation. I've been saved since I was 11 and I have given my life many times after that because I was never sure if i had believed enough or did it right or something like that. Anyways when I was 15 my uncle and great grandma died in the same week and I was heart broken i really was. I asked God why did he let this happen to both of them and on the same week to boot. Anyways about 2 months after I started down a bad path watching pornography and cussing and just going over the deep end and I lived liked this till about 16 and one day it hit me like a semi truck hitting me going 50 down the road.

I felt awful for all the things I had done and said and just the way I was acting. So I went to YouTube and looked up some videos about my situation and found a Dr Charles Stanley video and it helped me alot and at the end I gave my life to God again. And I just felt so relieved and just overjoyed at the fact that I had finally come to Christ. And I went on and started praying again every day and reading my Bible and watching more of his sermons online and it was wonderful.
Fast forward to when the coronvirus started. I was doing great then one day I woke up and there was just a voice in my head saying I wasn't saved. Saying I had not done it right I didn't mean it when I asked Jesus into my life to forgive and repented of my sins. Now I was still free of pornography since that day I gave my life to Jesus and I had almost completely stepped cussing. But these feelings that I didn't believe would just not go away.
So I go online and read some websites that talk about this and they pointed to the fact that I am saved. Now I have ocd and I believe I have scrupilocity for anyone who knows what that is. And so I read a website or watched a sermon on it felt better for maby a day but then the next day im back to feeling like I'm not really saved. Then I start having doubts that God is even real. And im just in this loop of torture that I have been going through since then. I've prayed that God would take it away and ive read my Bible and looked up videos on it and I just can't get rid of this sinking feeling that im not saved.

Now these voices are not new ive had them before when i was about 12 years old one day o woke up and had these voices saying you dont belong to God you arnt his child you are the devils child. Now i wss young and i didn't know what to think of any of this and I got super scared. I didn't want to tell my parents cause I thought they would think im a monster and abandon me or something even tho now I know they would not have but I just kept it all in. And that went on for a year and it stopped when I stopped reading my Bible and praying so I kinda got out of thst habit for a bit but when I was 13 I went back to reading the bible and praying agian. Also i was extremely suicidal back then when i was young i just wanted to die everyday pretty much and thought about taking my own life a few times.

Im back in that state where sometimes I wake up and just want to die. I haven't tried anything or even thought about doing anything but I just feel like death would be better than this right now. I've prayed to God about this so much and I feel i just dont get any answers or anything. I'm in a broken spot and I just need some advice and prayers right now i don't know what to do anymore.

The pressure on you saying "you are not saved", is not God. The bible tells us "that the one who comes to me [Jesus] I will not cast out". God is "long suffering not willing that any perish but that all come to repentance".

The cross, when Jesus died, was a substitute for our life time of sins. As the bible says "as it is appointed for man to die once, so Christ was offered once for sins".

Know that while you are alive God is there waiting for you to come to Him. At this very moment you "are saved", you have put your faith in Jesus, so you are saved. Ignore the pressure put on you.

 

[Junia]

You're very welcome. And I forgot to say that you should never think that you have to get everything sorted out with yourself before coming to God. God is listening to you - even right now. As you reach out for help from your friends, your doctor, trust that God will be with you all the way, helping you, guiding you and providing for you.
With every blessing.

am in a similar situation to the OP and this particular comment helped me mre than you cpuld ever imagine. the not having to be perfect before coming to God....i had scrupulosity and was on medication for OCD and other mental issues, didnt do much for me. seeing a therapist at moment...was doing well but since covid been falling apart....sometimes dont want to live anymore

 

[Anthony2019]

am in a similar situation to the OP and this particular comment helped me mre than you cpuld ever imagine. the not having to be perfect before coming to God....i had scrupulosity and was on medication for OCD and other mental issues, didnt do much for me. seeing a therapist at moment...was doing well but since covid been falling apart....sometimes dont want to live anymore

There is nothing about our lives that surprises God. There is nothing that shocks him, or causes Him to love us any less than He does. Every detail about our lives is known to Him, our hopes, our dreams, our strengths and weaknesses, our doubts and fears.

It is the same God whose heart is quickened each and every time you call upon His name. Remember the good shepherd who left the 99 sheep to seek the one that was lost. The heart of God is especially moved with compassion each time He sees a child of His in distress. He is the Lord that will never leave you alone to struggle through life's journey, but is tenderly carrying you upon His shoulders. Everywhere you go, the Lord is with you. Do not fear - He will help you and guide you.

You are loved with an everlasting love. The door is always open and there will always be a place at the table especially for you. Whether you come tired, lonely, or fearful, you will always be met with the most tender of welcomes.

May our God of everlasting love and compassion bless you and keep you.

 

[God is good777]

am in a similar situation to the OP and this particular comment helped me mre than you cpuld ever imagine. the not having to be perfect before coming to God....i had scrupulosity and was on medication for OCD and other mental issues, didnt do much for me. seeing a therapist at moment...was doing well but since covid been falling apart....sometimes dont want to live anymore

I felt the same way as you i also deal with OCD and scrupulosity. I just want you to know that you my deer Friend are not alone. If you want to start a private chat with me you can i would love to share my experiences with you and what I have done to overcome OCD. Just know God loves you and if you call on his name he will not hide from you. God bless you.

 

[God is good777]

Hello God is Good777,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us. I’m sorry for you are dealing with such a difficult situation. These forums are great for sharing burdens, venting, and asking for advice. And I know from my experiences that sometimes we do not know how to handle suffering. Suffering is neither good nor bad. And if we embrace it, we can allow our transformation into a better person. In spite of this situation let me tell you my brother in Christ that you are important and valuable person and you are a person of worth of dignity. You may be having a hard time believing this, but that doesn’t disqualify you from being love and valued for exactly who you are. Maybe you can take out good of this situation that you have to deal with. It is understandable for the way you feel. It seems that something is attacking you, something spiritual. The voices you hear of saying that you are not saved or the other comments you mentioned could come of the evil one. Let me tell you my brother in Christ that you’re not alone in this battle. Many fellow Christian believers tell similar stories, how a sin or sins they committed they get negative thoughts or feelings or even without any particular faults and yet, the evil one always likes to attack where they are weak. Jesus told us: I have told you this so that you might have peace in me. In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.” John 16,33. God promises us also that He will be with us until the end of the world. He loves us and does not put us in guilt, but is always merciful to us. It is very important to believe and trust in God’s mercy. Our sins are just a little drop in the immense ocean of His mercy. Remember, you are able to question those negative thoughts. And ask yourself what are they come from? They could come from the enemy. But there is something you can do. Always continue to keep praying and to command that these evil thoughts be sent to the foot of the cross of Jesus when you experience them again. I encourage to keep reading the Bible or Sacred Scriptures. Reading the good news will bring a lot of joy and peace. It is a great habit that you had when you were a teenager and it can help you through this journey, especially the Psalms, 23, 27, 91, 51, etc On the other hand, depression, or depressing thoughts that come in to us can be from a particular situation in life that has affected us. Depression comes from that we do not accept the past. However, let me tell you my friend that we can’t change the past but we can learn from it. We can learn from our mistakes and we can have a new fresh start. The person who suffers depression tends to see all dark, and the bad side of things. Is there some event or situation that you are encountering problems with in your life? A psychologist or psychiatrist can detect if you are suffering for depression or not. They are able to determine if the person has a psychological ailment or if that not the case, it could be something spiritual. But there is something you can do; you can take charge to control what is causing you to be depressed through therapy. Perhaps have you ever thought to seek Christian counseling or therapy? Christian counseling or therapy works through things like this. You are worthy and valuable of fighting for. Therapy can help you to determine what is causing depression and find solutions to overcome it. In spite of this situation let me tell you that you are important and valuable person and you are a person of worth of dignity. God loves you very much because He made you as His likeness and image. You may be having a hard time believing this, but that doesn’t disqualify you from being loved and valued for exactly who you are. I encourage you, to be thankful for what you have. Maybe you can create a list of the things what you have (for example: for life, your health, family, friends, etc.). Being grateful for what we have help us to recover the joy and peace. Let me tell you my brother in Christ that you do have a purpose in life. Maybe it can sound like a cliché however things happen for a reason and in the near future you can take out the good from this situation. This list-ly is extremely important for you are going through: Looking Up From The Stubborn Darkness | A Listly List. Please let me tell you my brother in Christ that you are not alone in this battle. Have you ever thought of seeking spiritual help from an exorcist priest? Maybe you can look for a local Catholic dioceses in your area and to see if you can get evaluation for your situation. These are persons who have to study about demonology and they are specialist to deal with situations like this. Please let me tell you my brother in Christ that you are not alone in this battle. I’ll leave this Hotline #s: 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).Hope this helps. Sending you hugs. I will keep you in my prayers, my brother in Christ.-keep us posted, OK?

I will keep you posted thank you for what you said here i am doing better as well. It is just so odd i will go from fine to thinking im not saved or im not doing enough or you didn't read your Bible enough i just always feel like its something im not doing enough even tho i know you are saved only by Jesus and believing in Him for salvation and trusting in Him for it. Thank you for your prayers tho it means alot God bless you !