I fear my heart might be hardened.+question about unpardonable sin

[Gkst]

Below is my background story of OCD. If you aren't have much time to read, you can scroll and read my question. Please answer, I really struggling.

I have OCD related to fear of said a word blasphemy which might be unpardonable sin. Actually, it develops from many fear and end up with this. In the past I have fear related to intrusive thought likes vows and blasphemous thought. When I have no fear of those because I believe that God forgive all of that.So, my fear develops to said a word blasphemy. And what surprised is I actually have said it. It really hard to believe for me too that I have hard time control my mouth. I can not really classify that it comes from me or OCD.

And as these fear continue, I have less worried about it. In the past, I cry all day when only I just feel like I have said it.But for now,when even I feel much more sure that I have said it. But I just don't feel much worried.It seems like I know God will forgive me. Or sometimes, I just feel numb of the same situation that happen again and again. I just worried that I committed unpardonable sin and my heart might be hardened. I just worried that I didn't feel much worried for the same sin.

Question.
1.When someone heart is hardened, it just only like they didn't feel guilty of the blasphemy word they said? What If they trust god that god will forgive them and didn't worried, and continue to pray, workshop, and read a bible. Are these mean their heart isn't hardened?
2.Related to a bible verse about unpardonable sin. What is the different between Son of man and holy spirit. What considered as holy spirit? Are God and Jesus include? What if someone said God is dev**?

Answer please.

 

[Sabertooth]

You wouldn't be here, if you committed an "unpardonable" sin.

1. Just repent of whatever you think you did wrong [1 John 1:9],
2. Rebuke the Accuser in Jesus Name (for the umpteenth time/as often as you need to), and
3. Move forward with your life.

 

[GodsGrace101]

Below is my background story of OCD. If you aren't have much time to read, you can scroll and read my question. Please answer, I really struggling.

I have OCD related to fear of said a word blasphemy which might be unpardonable sin. Actually, it develops from many fear and end up with this. In the past I have fear related to intrusive thought likes vows and blasphemous thought. When I have no fear of those because I believe that God forgive all of that.So, my fear develops to said a word blasphemy. And what surprised is I actually have said it. It really hard to believe for me too that I have hard time control my mouth. I can not really classify that it comes from me or OCD.

And as these fear continue, I have less worried about it. In the past, I cry all day when only I just feel like I have said it.But for now,when even I feel much more sure that I have said it. But I just don't feel much worried.It seems like I know God will forgive me. Or sometimes, I just feel numb of the same situation that happen again and again. I just worried that I committed unpardonable sin and my heart might be hardened. I just worried that I didn't feel much worried for the same sin.

Question.
1.When someone heart is hardened, it just only like they didn't feel guilty of the blasphemy word they said? What If they trust god that god will forgive them and didn't worried, and continue to pray, workshop, and read a bible. Are these mean their heart isn't hardened?
2.Related to a bible verse about unpardonable sin. What is the different between Son of man and holy spirit. What considered as holy spirit? Are God and Jesus include? What if someone said God is dev**?

Answer please.

I understand that you have big problems that make you be insecure of your faith and your salvation.

But I agree with @Sabertooth in post no. 2.

God loves you...
Don't worry so much.

 

[Job405]

God has three different persons, but they are all one. Jesus Christ is God. The Father is God. The Holy Ghost/Spirit is God.

The Holy Ghost is the one who convicts you of sin. Meaning you will feel bad when sinning, and he also allows you to genuinely repent of your sins. If you are hardened you won't feel bad (or anything) when sinning, you will not be drawn toward God either. In fact you might end up back in sin.

That might however not mean all is lost. Draw nigh to God and He will draw neigh to you. It could be that you have grieved the Holy Ghost, but not blasphemed Him. I have at times felt emotionally numb and distant from God. What I did was I started to pray more and listen to the bible (you can read it too), like 10-20 chapters or more per day.

 

[Tania11]

Have you read about John Bunyan? He had intrusive urges to speak against God like you. It was so bad that he had to shut his mouth with his hands. Isn't it helpful to know that some of the most godly people suffered with what you are describing? Not feeling guilty and then worrying about a seared conscience is common with OCD. Look up backdoor spike

 

[Mari17]

Below is my background story of OCD. If you aren't have much time to read, you can scroll and read my question. Please answer, I really struggling.

I have OCD related to fear of said a word blasphemy which might be unpardonable sin. Actually, it develops from many fear and end up with this. In the past I have fear related to intrusive thought likes vows and blasphemous thought. When I have no fear of those because I believe that God forgive all of that.So, my fear develops to said a word blasphemy. And what surprised is I actually have said it. It really hard to believe for me too that I have hard time control my mouth. I can not really classify that it comes from me or OCD.

And as these fear continue, I have less worried about it. In the past, I cry all day when only I just feel like I have said it.But for now,when even I feel much more sure that I have said it. But I just don't feel much worried.It seems like I know God will forgive me. Or sometimes, I just feel numb of the same situation that happen again and again. I just worried that I committed unpardonable sin and my heart might be hardened. I just worried that I didn't feel much worried for the same sin.

Question.
1.When someone heart is hardened, it just only like they didn't feel guilty of the blasphemy word they said? What If they trust god that god will forgive them and didn't worried, and continue to pray, workshop, and read a bible. Are these mean their heart isn't hardened?
2.Related to a bible verse about unpardonable sin. What is the different between Son of man and holy spirit. What considered as holy spirit? Are God and Jesus include? What if someone said God is dev**?

Answer please.

These are very common obsessions with OCD! Can you get a therapist to help you with your OCD?

 

[Gkst]

May I ask another question, please. If someone without OCD intentionly said that holy spirit is dev** with anger and doubt. Then, regret and ask god for forgiveness. Are those will be forgive? I just thinking in worst case. I feel likes those is from me.

 

[Gkst]

These are very common obsessions with OCD! Can you get a therapist to help you with your OCD?

I have went to therapist one.but she doesn't seems to be nice, so I didn't continue to met her. And now due to covid19, My parents don't want me to go to hospital.It kind of risky place.

 

[Gkst]

Have you read about John Bunyan? He had intrusive urges to speak against God like you. It was so bad that he had to shut his mouth with his hands. Isn't it helpful to know that some of the most godly people suffered with what you are describing? Not feeling guilty and then worrying about a seared conscience is common with OCD. Look up backdoor spike

Thank you, I will go looks for it.

 

[Gkst]

God has three different persons, but they are all one. Jesus Christ is God. The Father is God. The Holy Ghost/Spirit is God.

The Holy Ghost is the one who convicts you of sin. Meaning you will feel bad when sinning, and he also allows you to genuinely repent of your sins. If you are hardened you won't feel bad (or anything) when sinning, you will not be drawn toward God either. In fact you might end up back in sin.

That might however not mean all is lost. Draw nigh to God and He will draw neigh to you. It could be that you have grieved the Holy Ghost, but not blasphemed Him. I have at times felt emotionally numb and distant from God. What I did was I started to pray more and listen to the bible (you can read it too), like 10-20 chapters or more per day.

Thank you for reply. I will spend more time on bible each day.

 

[Gkst]

I understand that you have big problems that make you be insecure of your faith and your salvation.

But I agree with @Sabertooth in post no. 2.

God loves you...
Don't worry so much.

Thank you for your reply. I believe that God forgive me too. But sometimes, I really don't sure.

 

[Gkst]

You wouldn't be here, if you committed an "unpardonable" sin.

1. Just repent of whatever you think you did wrong [1 John 1:9],
2. Rebuke the Accuser in Jesus Name (for the umpteenth time/as often as you need to), and
3. Move forward with your life.

Thank you for your reply. It likes the thought always pop up that God might not forgive me. But I will try to move forward.

 

[Sabertooth]

Are you going to cross out 1 John 1:9, or are you going to tell it like it is and call your OCD a liar?

 

[Gkst]

Are you going to cross out 1 John 1:9, or are you going to tell it like it is and call your OCD a liar?

I already have confess my sin to God. But also,OCD is my another struggle. It really hard for me to feel repentance with my mind always blame OCD.