I don't want to be alone

[mkdrive2]

If the problem is along the lines of MDD then many may not fully understand why your motivation is so low -- that you might feel as if it has drained from you, and effort toward even that which you know will be of benefit to you can feel like scaling Mt. Everest.

No, I do not suffer from depression. It is true that I am quite lazy and hesitate to try new things, but it is not like I am unable to put any effort in things that are beneficial to me. I am not a shut-in, either. I have a work place that is closed right now because of the ongoing crisis. It is likely that not meeting any coworkers increased my loneliness.

But there were times when I really put myself out there for three months avoiding all distractions. I visited lots of self-help groups, a social competence training group and a guitar accompaniment group. That is when I noticed that there was a wall between me and other people that I was never able to cross.

What is it about yourself that lets you know you are not an introvert, in your opinion?

I have no problem talking to people. Though, I lack humor and rarely smile / laugh in the presence of other people. I do not dislike the company of other people, and it does not stress me out. I was socially anxious in the past, but I fixed that problem almost completely.

If your brother were more accessible to you, would you go to visit him? And would that be to catch up and enjoy a visit with him, or would it be more to leave where you are, to live with him, so that you no longer live alone (feel alone)?

I thought it over, and I would dislike living together with him. We are not compatible and are bound to argue. But I would like it if he lived nearby so that I can visit him from time to time.

Does the way you feel make it seem that you would prefer the company of someone very familiar (like your brother) rather than someone newer in your life, if you were able to connect with a new... let's say... acquaintance/potential friendship?

It is easier with my brother, because even though we are not close at all, and have not contacted each other at all for a few months already, my brother takes on the role of the older sibling, and welcomes advances towards him, even if he is not really that much interested.

I do not dislike the idea of getting to know someone new. I just can't imagine that ever happening, because I am not a very likable person, and people do not have fun spending time with me.

 

[Josheb]

I miss having friends and loved ones.

I don't want to live alone. I want to live with my parents in a big apartment. But my parents live in a country with 8 hours time difference.

Maybe living with my brother would also be kind of nice, but he lives in a far-away city (about 8 hours train ride), and we both have tiny apartments, so sleeping over is a problem. Not that my brother would want to visit me, anyway. I am the one who always needs to take the initiative with him. He does not really care about our relationship. That is why I gave up.

I would like to visit a friend's house. It has been so long since the last time I did so. Has it been about 20 years?

I even want to adopt a child to escape living alone, but that would probably be very irresponsible of me, and no one would allow that.

I would like to have a family of my own.

I would like to be like other people. But I cannot.

To what degree is this a recent condition brought on by the COVID-19 outbreak and the six or seven weeks we've all been staying home? If so then this is temporary and these sensations and emotions will pass.





If this isn't recently occurring then I suspect the problem is developmental.

Being alone is a learned skill. So is tolerating loneliness. We all feel these conditions from time to time and none of us die from it. It also reads like learning how to live without all your needs being met and this pesty little thing called delayed gratification is warranted.

I hesitate to say this next statement because who in the world knows what "normal" is, but it's not normal for a 32 year old man to want to live with his parents. There's probably and attachment issue there. The basics of attachment and separation can be learned on youtube, believe it or not.

 

[Percivale]

Western culture is very indivdualistic and makes it harder to connect with others. One can get used to being alone, but that doesn't mean one should, after all being alone was the first thing God said was not good.
I recommend looking into intentional community. Some major Christian intentional communities include Bruderhof and Catholic Worker communities (which are not only Catholic). Some of the biggest secular, progressive communities are Dancing Rabbit, The Farm, and Twin Oaks, and there are lots of communities listed on ic.org.