God has not blessed me with the intelligence I need to explain scripture, I always lose, I always look like the fool.
1 Corinthians 1:18-25 For, take a good look at your divine summons , brethren, that not many wise men according to human standards, not many men of dignity and power, not many who are of royal or aristocratic lineage are given that divine summons , but God selected out for himself those individuals among the world of sinners characterized by the aforementioned foolishness, in order that He might put to confusion those who are wise. And those individuals among the world of sinners, characterized by weakness, God selected out for himself, in order that He might put to confusion those who are characterized by strength. And those individuals among the world of sinners, who are not of royal or noble ancestry but belong to the common people and those who are utterly despised, God selected out for himself, the aforementioned classes of individuals looked upon as nonentities, in order that He might deprive of force, influence, and power those who think themselves to be somewhat, to the end that humanity may not in a single instance boast in His presence. (Wuest translation)
We are "fools" by the worlds measure.
John 15:19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
I was flipping through the TV channels one night and stumbled across some show like the bachelor. There were a group of men and one was saying that he had chosen to remain a virgin until marriage. The others were not able to contain their amusement. One man said, "I respect your choice..." and even while he was saying it he couldn't contain his laughter.
Why won't God tell me when I'm not ready to speak? Why does he let me do this? Why do Christians suffer, at what price? What is there to gain? What glory does God get from this?
You are discovering the difference between walking in the Spirit and the flesh. An example of walking in the flesh is Peter saying, "let's build a tabernacle" at the Mount of Transfiguration or Paul "kicking against the goads".
It is an interesting study to examine at the time of Jesus trials when He spoke and when He remained silent. Pilate was the secular authority. The Sanhedrin was the religious authority. Herod was a political buffoon looking for someone to amuse him.
No one was ever won to Christ with an erudite and compelling argument.
John 6:44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.
God gets glory from truth. When we walk in truth, we are able to draw nearer to Him. When we walk in truth, we are brought to real humility. The truth is we are not smart enough, cleaver, enough, or articulate enough to accomplish anything on our own. If we "accomplish" anything good, it is only God working through us.
I have experience walking in the flesh and can testify to the overwhelming frustration it usually produces. The alternative to the frustration of the flesh is the surrender to the Spirit and walking in truth and humility. It is a common tactic for Satan to get people to think they need to take control and make things happen. I reality, there is already someone running the universe and while He can make anything happen He wants;
Luke 19:39-40 And some of the Pharisees from the throng said to Jesus, Teacher, reprove Your disciples! He replied, I tell you that if these keep silent, the very stones will cry out.
God provides us an opportunity to be used by Him. Our usefulness is not determined by what we have learned, how smart we are, or how motivated. Our usefulness is determined by the degree to which we have surrendered ourselves and our faithfulness.
2 Corinthians 5:15 And He died for all, so that all those who live might live no longer to and for themselves, but to and for Him Who died and was raised again for their sake.