I don't mean to put questions in to people's heads

[xnickyx]

I don't mean to put questions in to people's heads ... Sorry if I do ...

But ... If self-harm is a "coping mechanism" - a way of getting through really tough times - if it is the only way that you could express yourself is it really a sin?

 

[Lorian]

Hi nicky, I can see that you have so much to be happy for. Raising a new baby and getting married is a lot to look forward to! I hope the best for you!

You've asked a good question. I don't really know if SH is really a sin, and only Christ can judge. If there is any thing about this affliction that may be considered spiritually offensive, it would be that maybe the person was not showing self-love. After all, we are told to love one another and I am sure that we should love ourselves.

 

[Mling]

I've been hesitant to post this but...well...my 2 cents. Make what you will of it.

As I don't put a lot of stock in the concept of "sin," I'll tweak the question to "...is it really bad?" or "is it really unhealthy/harmful?"

Personally, I look at the physical risks, and the reasons behind the cutting--not the cutting itself. If there's a significant risk of real injury (beyond surface scratching), then yeah--obviously that's physically unhealthy. That should either stop or be done differently so it's less harmful.

For reasons...well...

Here's where I should point out that I don't cut--my girlfriend does. If she tells me that she wants to, lately I've started asked "What would it mean, if you cut right now?" The answers vary. A lot of times, it's because she feels guilty about something and she's labeled herself as "bad" and needs to punish herself for it. There, the problem isn't the cutting, but her feeling that she's "bad."

One time, after a flashback, the answer was "it would mean I'm in control again." "Why?" "I don't know! It just does!" That seems fair, to me. She'd just spent the last couple minutes trapped in an eternity replaying her life's worst horrors over and over again. It was utterly devastating--nobody could come out of that without needing to do something to reassert their control over their own mind. Why cutting? Why would it work? Who knows--but she does it in a careful, controlled, pretty harmless way. If that's what it takes to get her mind back? Yeah, ok; I can go along with that.

Basically, I don't think it's harmful for somebody to do something that has minimal physical risks and helps ease them into a healthy, functional mental state. The problem comes when either there's significant physical risk, or the cutting reinforces a harmful mindset.

 

[NoddaProbBob]

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

If this doesn't say it, then I don't know what will. SI is a form of expression, but I think people tend to forget that it is a NEGATIVE coping skill, not just a 'coping skill".
I've been SIing for 7 years now. I've been sinning since day one.

 

[kingsprincess724]

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

If this doesn't say it, then I don't know what will. SI is a form of expression, but I think people tend to forget that it is a NEGATIVE coping skill, not just a 'coping skill".
I've been SIing for 7 years now. I've been sinning since day one.

Exactly I completely agree.

P.S. NoddaProb until I get my posts to 15 I can't use PM as soon as I can I will.

 

[NoddaProbBob]

P.S. NoddaProb until I get my posts to 15 I can't use PM as soon as I can I will.

Sounds Good

 

[Hephzibah1021]

My counselor put things into perspective for me. She drew a chart, on one side there was the "feeling bad" and on the other side was "feeling good" and then we discussed bad things, so guilt, shame, anger, sadness, fear, etc. And then we talked about how we get from the "feeling bad" to the "feeling good" side. And well cutting is one way. So we get over to the "good" side and we feel better about ourselves and then within a little bit of time, we begin to feel shame and guilt for cutting. So in the end we are just going in a cycle.

I thought it was interesting. Because Christ has not called us to live in guilt and shame, and yet I know for myself, I often find myself there when I am caught back in the trap of cutting. I believe it is a sin, because it is bringing control to ourselves, rather than giving it to Jesus. I often cut when I feel completely out of control, because it is something I can control, I can control all aspects of it, or so I think, but really I get caught up in the trap of guilt and shame and feeling like I need to be in control. It is Christ that needs to have control of all areas of my life, even when I feel out of control.

 

[Tenkuh]

It is okay express yourself, but the means through which you express yourself can be either sinful or holy. A coping skill can be either sinful or holy, healthy or unhealthy. Just because you are expressing yourself does not automatically make it okay.

Example. Abusing drugs can be a coping mechanism, and it can also be a form of self expression. Does this automatically make it healthy, holy, and okay? Of course not.

Example. Beating on my spouse or cursing out the sales clerk can be a coping mechanism. It can be the way I cope with stress or anger. It can also be the way I express myself, the way I express my anger. Does this make it healthy, holy, and okay? Of course not.

Now to answer your question. Cutting yourself is a coping mechanism and yes, it is a form of self expression. But your body is G-d's temple. You should treat it with the utmost dignity and respect knowing your body is a temple within which you house G-d. Any form of mutilation you put to your body (ex, cutting yourself) defiles G-d's temple. It is not healthy, holy, or okay, but do not become upset! If you have cut yourself in the past, it is okay. Everyone sins at times. This is where you apologize, ask forgiveness, and move on to find a better way to cope.

 

[peckaboo]

I'd be inclined to throw the addictive nature of SI into the mix here, too. My counsellor explained to me how it's a chemical addiction the same as any other, in that the pain causes your body to release... some feel-good hormone - endorphins maybe? And you get addicted to that hormone. I think any addiction probably has a moral element to it.

 

[xnickyx]

Some well thought out answers here ... and a lot of opinions and views that are all interesting, so thank you every one for your responses ♥

I am starting to think that, although I haven't SI'd for a few months, if it is an addiction thing for me?!

I have a lot of thoughts running round my head and I know that I need to sort my life out with God. Have been through so much lately (my OH left me and so I am a single mummy - with a new boyfriend), and, well yeah. I could write about it all, but i know the only place that I need to be right now is at the foot of the cross. I may ask if a couple of people will sit there with me, just because everything is so muddled inside, i'm scared nothing will make sense. hmm! Anyways, I am rambling!

 

[Criada]

Sounds as though you have a lot going on and it's causing some anxiety.
Do you have a therapist/counselor/pastor who you can talk to about it all?
You have my prayers, sister, and please PM if you want a listening ear.