I don't knwo anymore...

It's like I have no desire to come here, I feel like I'm losing my 'belief', what if I have committed the uf-sin and God is slowly giving me over to a lie, what if this is it for me and soon I'll never want anything to do with Jesus ( I have little to no desire now) I just want to be back the way I was. I cant say that I believe anymore because I don't think I do & that makes me cry because I want too. I'm scared, but not as scared as I should be.

I don't want to come off harsh with this. I am doing it out of love because I love you.

STOP looking at your feelings or your belief or your faith or your past or your sins.

Do you want to honor God? Your Creator? The One who made you and loved you enough to die for you?

I know you do.

Guess what? The only way to do that is by faith. If we don't trust God, we are dishonoring Him. We are saying He is untrustworthy. We are basically calling Him a liar. Now, we know God isn't a liar, don't we? I'm guessing that disappoints Him a little.

Now, I know what you are going through, and I struggle sometimes with the same thing. But I've gotta give you some tough love here.

T-R-U-S-T G-O-D

He says that no one who comes to Him will be cast out. Do you believe Him or don't you?

He says that if you confess your sins He is just to forgive and cleanse us of unrighteousness. Oh you don't feel forgiven? It doesn't matter how we feel.

God said it. Do you believe it?

YES OR NO?

Are you going to trust God or trust yourself or your own feelings?

It's ok darling, I know how you FEEL. I have been there. But our feelings don't matter. Neither do our worries or our fears. I wish you would just understand this. God's truth is the only thing that matters.

Now, He said that whosoever believes His Son died upon the cross for their sins will be given eternal life.

So how do you feel about this? GUESS WHAT!? YOUR FEELINGS DON'T CHANGE WHAT GOD SAID, DO THEY?

GOD STILL SAID IT, IT'S STILL TRUE, IT WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE, HE NEVER CHANGES, AND HE DESIRES THAT YOU TRUST HIM.

Imagine it like this. Your a little kid, and He is your Heavenly Father. He never lies and you know this. So just believe Him. Trust in Him like a little kid trusts her parent.

So, just trust Him. It's easy. It's not hard. Just trust Him. Just trust Him. Trust Him. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust.

Trust Him.

are you famaliar with

Just as I am, without one plea,
but that Thy blood was shed for me,
and that thou bidst me come to Thee,
O Lamb of God, I come.

But I'm losing my belief, I dont think I believe He's real anymore, and I really want to and it scares me, cause I want to believe. I would much rather believe that I had commited the uf-sin and worry about that then worry if I truly believe or tha God has given up on me...

annoor said:

are you famaliar with

Just as I am, without one plea,
but that Thy blood was shed for me,
and that thou bidst me come to Thee,
O Lamb of God, I come.

Click to expand...

no.

It's an old hymn about coming to Jesus with our hearts, doubts, fears, etc.

I'll quote another couple of verses:


Just as I am, tho' tossed about
with many a conflict, many a doubt,
FIghtings within, and fears without,
O Lamb of God, I come

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind
Slight, Riches, healing of the mind,
Yes, all I need, in Thee to find,
O Lamb of God, I come.

Just as I am , Thous wilt receive,
Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;
because Thy promise I believe,
O Lamb od God I come.

"If anyone comes to Me, I will not cast them away"

I want to come, & I have clung to that verse many times, but no im worried i dont believe & I try not to think about it because whenever i do, i doubt ALOT, about everything, & I think 'how could that have happened' so how can i come to Him if I doubt Him, I mean I dont want to doubt, im just SO tired of everything...

1 Timothy 1
15Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.

Guys, I do want to believe, but it's like I can't for some reason. I hope God hasn't left me. I've went through these 'phases before' but before I was always deperatly seeking reassurances that God was real and stuff, but this time Im not. it's like im just waiting it out...I'm scared.

Caty said:

Guys, I do want to believe, but it's like I can't for some reason. I hope God hasn't left me. I've went through these 'phases before' but before I was always deperatly seeking reassurances that God was real and stuff, but this time Im not. it's like im just waiting it out...I'm scared.

Click to expand...

God hasn't left you...

Being conformed into His likeness hasn't been left into your hands for you to do, it is His work.

All you need to do is rest in Him.

People with ocd will have to live with some uncertainty. When I go threw these doubts that you go through , and yes i go through them as well, I just tell myself that its the ocd and i try my best to leave it alone. I pray to the Lord to help me leave it alone, and I just take it by faith.

I went threw a stage where i thought i didnt really beleive in God, i would ask myself constatly "do i really beleive" . And when questions like that arise you have to ask yourself " who am i trully" and i know the doubts will come, cause when i asked myself this i would say stuff like " who am i really?" . But it seems to me that your deeply concerned about being a christian, and praise the Lord for it. Cause if you wasnt His child, you wouldnt have any care in the world for God. You wanna go back to what you used to be, and i would asume that would be peice of mind? Well if you wasnt a child of God, the ocd wouldnt attack it, and you wouldnt be suffering from these deranged thoughts or doubts. You have to understand that the reason why you have these weird thoughts is because you have ocd. And every weird thought or feeling is the result of the ocd, not yourself or God.

And to answer your question about wether God has handed you over to a lie or not...... God wouldnt be handing you over to a lie. If God was to hand you over, He would hand you over to your sinful desires and i life that wouldnt desire Him (see Romans 1:19-26). But YOU HAVE A DESIRE!! If it wasnt for God, you wouldnt have a desire for Him. It would be impossible, Jesus said you couldnt come to Him unless the Father drew you to Him. The reason the ocd is making you stressed out about the things of God, is that you really care about the things of God.

There is gonna have to come a time in your life where your gonna have to live with some uncertaintys and "what ifs" and just humbly except that your Jesus'. (if you would like, i will email you my personal testimony of dealing with ocd, and how i took some comfort in trusting in Him).

I know you feel very uncomfortable, and have unusual thoughts but thats just the ocd. I will be praying for you, and if there is anything that i can do for you just let me know.

Joe G.

thanks, i just question everything--do i really want God?? I'm so confused, but I'll just hang on and ssee what happens I guess...

You will press on. You have to understand something about ocd. People who have the ocd where they constantly clean, or have to have things in a right order do this to relief themselves of the strain of ocd and have compulsions to do so. You on the other hand from what ive seen have pure 'o' ocd. This is where it effects your way of thinking. Like "do i really want God" , or "am i trully desiring Him" and stuff like that. And you obsess over these things. Just continue to remind yourself that its the ocd and Jesus has everything undercontrol. Put the responsibility in His hands, and trust in Him for anything to be done. You cannot come to Him the 100% pure motives. Over time He will change you and conform you to His will. The Holy Spirit shows us our sinfulness in order for us to hold on to Jesus and to show us our need for Him, but the devil will use that to tell you that your not a christian. And your ocd will continue to make you doubt. Thats where you just tell your self "its the ocd, and im gonna trust in You Jesus"

Another thing that has helped me is i just live as if He saved me. I try to follow Him in what He would have me to do. I will be praying for you.

Joe G.

Caty said:

Guys, I do want to believe, but it's like I can't for some reason. I hope God hasn't left me. I've went through these 'phases before' but before I was always deperately seeking reassurances that God was real and stuff, but this time Im not. it's like im just waiting it out...I'm scared.

Click to expand...

What are you trying so hard to believe?

Christ died on the cross 2000 years ago. The work is finished.

Caty isnt it that you are just so exhausted from all of this that its hard enough to think straight let alone be certain that you truely believe ? Am i right ?

Kinda, I guess Keryakos. I'm SO tired of all of this crap and going throw all of this that my desire is fading I just wish this would have never happened to me because now I just don't feel like getting back on course I just wish something would suddenly put me back to wanting God and stuff, I don't know if I even want that...& I scare myself whever I think things like that ( but it doesn't scare me as much as it should) but, how do I know that I havent just went too far and God is slowly letting me go??

OCDyeahyouknowme said:

You will press on. You have to understand something about ocd. People who have the ocd where they constantly clean, or have to have things in a right order do this to relief themselves of the strain of ocd and have compulsions to do so. You on the other hand from what ive seen have pure 'o' ocd. This is where it effects your way of thinking. Like "do i really want God" , or "am i trully desiring Him" and stuff like that. And you obsess over these things. Just continue to remind yourself that its the ocd and Jesus has everything undercontrol. Put the responsibility in His hands, and trust in Him for anything to be done. You cannot come to Him the 100% pure motives. Over time He will change you and conform you to His will. The Holy Spirit shows us our sinfulness in order for us to hold on to Jesus and to show us our need for Him, but the devil will use that to tell you that your not a christian. And your ocd will continue to make you doubt. Thats where you just tell your self "its the ocd, and im gonna trust in You Jesus"

Another thing that has helped me is i just live as if He saved me. I try to follow Him in what He would have me to do. I will be praying for you.

Joe G.

Click to expand...

I want to want Jesus, if that makes sense. But I dunno if I even want that and I HATE being like this...

Caty a person is only scared of not believing because they believe,...If they did not believe they would not care or be scared about it .So you do believe.

You were given to Jesus by Fahter God before you ever came to Jesus.The reason you came to Jesus in the first place is because Father God gave you to Jesus.
Since Father God gave you to Jesus you belong to Jesus forever.

John 6:37
All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out

You came to Jesus and He will in no wise cast you out since you are a gift to Him by Father God and He died and rose again to save us.It is a done deal now.
You are not your own you are bought with a price.

1Corinthians ch 6
and ye are not your own?
20For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

John 10:28
And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any pluck them out of my hand.

Father God gave you to Jesus otherwise you never would have come to Him.
So you belong to Jesus.
You came to Jesus.
Jesus paid for you and bought you with His own blood.
He is your all powerful Saviour and Redeemer.

And you are in Jesus hand and none shall snatch you out and you shall never perish.

No fears doubts or mistakes shall separate you from His love.

Just keep looking to Jesus even with any problems, freely pour your heart and cares out to Him because He cares for you and will never leave you or forsake you and you are sealed b y the Holy Spirit til the day of redemption.
Father God gave you to Jesus and none will snatch you out of His hand.
done deal.
So you are safe forever.
blessings
annrobert

I just want to believe with all my heart & I dont want to fear or have the doubts I do now. I HATE this SO much, I know I have a lot of resentment in my heart and I wish I didnt but I dont know what else to do, I just want to believe if I don't.

Caty,
my heart really goes out to you.When I went through all the torment and grief I went through ,thinking Jesus left me it was so painful and I too hated it.I know how hard it is and how much it all hurts.It is understandable and normal to feel resentment when going through such suffering.Jesus is not going to hold that against you.You are still a gift from Father God to Jesus and a very precious gift.Jesus is not going to let you go.The reason you want to believe is because you do believe.The ocd is tricking you to think maybe you don't or don't enough.That is just the ocd.
You are safe Caty and will before forever.
Sealed by the Holy Spirit til the day of redemption.
Jesus will never leave you or forsake.He is in your heart and not leaving...not ever.
It is okay to tell Jesus about what you are going through,He knows and understands anyway.
You are free to come before His throne of grace and receive help.
Jesus welcomes us to come to Him for rest.
Just as we are.
You are safe Caty,no ocd ,fears or doubts or anything will make Jesus let go of you,never never never.
Jesus will never leave you or forsake you.
You are a very precious gift to Him.
He bought you and redeemed you.
You are safe under Jesus wings.
The safest place in the world to be.
Nothing will change that Caty.
blessings
annrobert