I dont know what to do.

[Greg0ry]

I go to a private school. It's sort of expensive. I'm a junior and... lets just say that my grades aren't good.
Okay, failing.
But only two. Anyway, My parents saw my grades and they talked to me about them, for a long time, for about the 12th time this year... It seems that I can't do anything right. The only conversations i have with my dad are when he tells me that I did something wrong, or that I need to do something. He dosen't seem to care about anything other than success. My mom gets frustrated and hates to see that I fail in school, My parents confront me about my grades and to be honest, it makes me feel stupid, Like I can't do anything right.
I don't know what to do anymore. Things have been falling down into the gutter and I feel like I just want it to end.
I mean if Heaven is so great, Why do I have to go through a life that makes me feel miserable all the time? I want to tell someone in real life, but I don't know who I can trust. No I don't pray and read the bible like I should... I want to.. But I never get around to it. I feel like i'm trapped in a whirlpool and I cant get to dry land, and I'm sinking, getting dragged down into the bottom where i picture myself with a gun pointed at myself. It scares me and I hate when I get like that. I want someone to help me know what to do. It feels like God isn't there to hear me when I cry to him, like he closed his arms and turned his back.
Sinking in the whirlpool.
And I can't get back...

 

[xxAshl3yxx]

I think that maybe spending some time with friends and getting your mind off things could help. It always makes me feel better. You could also write; which I know sounds stupid, but sometimes it really helps. Eventually you might be emotionally happy again, and you can work on improving your grades.

 

[Glorthac]

As someone who also has ocassional problems with depression, I'll tell you how I fix it: I recognize the problem.

It's rather simple, spend some time figuring out exactly what your problems are. You said failing grades, you don't have time to read the Bible and pray, and problems with your parents, etc.

Good. Figure out them all. When you do, think of ways to solve the problems.

When I do this, my depression goes away because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Might I suggest you use prayer to solve your other problems. I've prayed for big miracles, and I've seen them happen. God will help you, pray as much as possible.

 

[HarborOrange]

I have the same problem as you man. I mean, I'm not failing at anything, but I do have zero motivation when it comes to school. I think about dropping out a lot because I think a lot of school is a waste of time... I used to love learning, when it was practical, but now I'm learning how to graph hyperbolas and stuff that's just stupid like that. When will I use that? Never. I think I might end up going into the missions field anyway, I don't think that sitting in a cubical, or a lab only lit by fluorescent lighting is really worth much in YHWH's plan... For the most part.
I struggle with feeling that I'm a failure though, not at school, but at everything else. I pretty much have zero friends at my school. The only friend I have is a girl I dated for a long time. Considering she's a girl, I don't talk to her about my issues much, because I just don't feel comfortable talking to a girl about my deep issues. So, I usually have to deal with them myself because my parents have such high expectations of me. My dad is into athletics, which is an area in which I am absolutely pathetic, I was not gifted with athletic talent. I always feel like I'm failing him, I haven't ever had a deep conversation with him because he has a short temper at times, it's just hard not having that sort of person to talk to at ease. Don't get me wrong, I know my dad loves me and all, it's just who he is, he's a perfectionist. So, I feel like I have to be perfect all the time.
I feel your pain in that realm. I guess, I've just learned to deal with it. I never get depressed, because I'm just a happy person, or I shut it out with music... I listen to music constantly, in fact I am right now. It helps me through things, especially post-rock because no one is speaking, it's just instruments, it lets you get your thoughts out. That's what I do. I pray a lot too, but I don't read my Bible as much as I should. Sleep is also an escape if I'm feeling down.
No matter what, never give up. I knew a kid that killed himself last year, it devastated everyone at my school... Even those who did not know him. It hurt me a lot, even though I was just starting to get to know him and wasn't super close to him at the time. He said some words to me right before he committed suicide, pretty much the day before.
He said:" Your friends are your life, your education. If you have friends, you will do well in school." He had lost one of his closest friends due to an argument he had with them, as far as I remember, that's why he killed himself later that week.

Now, it may be hard to live by what that kid said if you don't have any friends ( I don't what your situation with friendship is. ) and I don't really have many friends, they're all spread out at different schools, and states. However, I still talk to them daily. If I have an issue, I tell them, and it helps me relax and get it off of my shoulders. Even if it does not solve the problem, just writing what's wrong down, or telling someone about it helps me.
If you have friends, confide in them and let them know if you're feeling down, and just talk about it if you feel comfortable. If your friends are few, or not super close, write your problems down while you're listening to your favorite song and just relax. It's all just temporary.

We live this life, so that when we reach our final destination, we will appreciate the perfection YHWH has made for us. We can live our lives, well knowing that we have tried our best, even if not perfect. Or, we can live our lives in a state of doubt and knowing we could do better. It all depends on what you want to do. But remember, no one is perfect, only YHWH is, even if we struggle in areas, he'll keep us strong in others. No matter what, he's always there to pull you through the struggle. Just imagine what it'd be like if the Father wasn't there.

 

[liesje]

Hey Gregory

First, welcome to CF

Second (and this is something which I, and probably everyone else, forget), emotions go in waves. You won't feel like this forever. Failing things never feels good, but it's not the end of the world. From your post I'd guess that it's not the failing that bothers you as much as the way your parents respond to it? Your parents love you. I found it really hard to believe that--I was always fighting with my mum. In fact its only this week that we actually sat down and figured out what was coming between us. Perhaps you just need to talk them. Talk about how you feel. Talk about how they feel. It's a very hard thing to do, but it will be worthwhile. Also, I know how hard it is when you just don't feel like praying or reading the Bible. Once you get out of the habit it's so hard to get back into. But, you have to get back into it. God is the one who can help you more than anyone else. God is always always always there to listen to us. He never leaves us; it's we who walk away from him. Life can be overwhelming sometimes. It won't last. Don't let it pull you down. Cling to God; trust him to sort things out.

My pm box is always open if you ever need to talk

I'm praying for you

I will never leave you nor forsake you. -Joshua 1:5

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. - Matthew 28:20

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint - Isaiah 40:31

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. - Philipians 4:6-7

 

[breatheinthedeepbluesea]

Study, study, study, PRAY, study, study!

Your grades before college may not seem important but, let me tell you from experience, THEY ARE! Talk to your teachers (they are there to help you succeed!), pray to God (He is there to help! He shoulders your burden and NEVER gives you more than you can handle!), be honest with your parents. Find a tutor, dedicate hours to your school work, visit your principal.. do whatever is necessary to get those grades back up to what they should be. It IS possible, you CAN do it, and you WILL succeed. Give it everything you've got, and remember... PRAY! For when you knock, the Lord delivers!

Also, if you have questions about your studies (other than math, haha) feel free to keep in contact with me and we may be able to figure it out together! I have graduated high school and am currently enrolled as a Bio major at a university, so surely I can help! (Well, we would hope so )

Good luck and God bless!

 

[breatheinthedeepbluesea]

Also, the Lord NEVER turns away! It is us who do not make time for Him. Pick up that Bible.. it has more answers in it for questions you may not even know you have. Make time for Him and let Him know what you need! He of course knows best, but you first have to open your heart and accept Him to truly hear Him and accept His help.

 

[Girder of Loins]

I belong to a group called Hands For God. We do a human video i think that you can really benefit from right now. In fact, it will speak to you. here is the link to the video:
YouTube - Lifehouse - Everything

Just remember that God IS there. When you think God doesn't listen, that is the enemy speaking to you! Throw it back in the Devil's face, he's literally jealous that he can't go to heaven and you can!

 

[daniibp23]

Talk to your parents. Let them know how you feel.