I don't know what to do :(

[Kvikklunsj]

I feel so stupid posting here, but I don't know what else to do...and this is kind of long, so please bear with me.

I've had anxiety problems for at least 5 years now (I'm 20 now). I've never been a very outgoing person, but it seems like it's just becoming more and more of a problem. At first the problem was mostly things like talking on the phone and calling people I didn't know, but now it's even things like talking in class if I have something to say (from my seat - not even in front of the class), or talking to people I don't know well (like most other adults). Sometimes I have panic attacks during these things too.


Stuff like that is something you can deal with (somewhat) when you're in high school, but as I get older it just interferes more and more with my life. I have a hard time doing things I need to do now. It's taken me months just to get up the nerve to call a lady at my college so I could register for classes, for example. There are lots of things like that that keep happening. And probably most importantly, I don't know how I can go out and look for a job again.

Fall of 2003 I got a job (which I only applied for because a friend also applied at the same time, so we got to do some of the initial training together until she found out she wasn't going to get hired). The interview was bad enough, but even after working there for a year and a half, I was still always worrying I was doing something wrong and had a hard time talking to the supervisors and other people there. About 8 months ago the place shut down, and I haven't been able to go out and look for a job since.

I still live at home, and of course after 8 months of not having a job, my parents are getting pretty insistent. The hardest thing now is to explain to them what the problem is - it's almost becoming an anxiety in and of itself. I just feel like they won't understand. It seems they'd rather think the reason I don't call people is because I'm lazy or because I simply don't like to talk on the phone, despite the fact I've mentioned it's practically a terrifying experience. The time I mentioned having panic attack type feelings just thinking about bringing up a point in class, my mom and sister just laughed and didn't take it seriously at all. It must be cute/funny of course, because everyone knows "normal" people aren't scared of things like that.

Maybe they're just misunderstanding, I don't know. But I know I can't live off what's left of my minimal savings forever, and I can't deal with constant questioning about why I haven't gotten a job yet.

Any help would be wonderful. I'm so stressed out, so even if you could just pray, that would be great. Thanks so much.

 

[kharmon]

God bless you, I've been there. I'll pray for you

 

[jehovahjireh2007]

Dear God,
Please take away flod logic's anxiety and give her peace
Amen

 

[jehovahjireh2007]

Don't feel stupid about posting and let us know how things are going won't you?

Derbystudent

 

[vimto]

Hi! Flod Logic - prayers are assured.

Anxiety is really hard to deal with - not easy at all.

You have done really well to hold that job down - it was not your fault it folded. You have a history of work and employers will value you.

You need to learn to challenge your anxious thoughts and get to understand what triggers them. Get some help please or this will be harder resolve.

I suggest you tell your family - perhaps show them this post (edit it for them) - so you don't have to talk too much. Make it clear this is no joke and you risk wandering into a no-job future if you don't deal with this. Tell them you want their help. I think (cannot be sure) they will understand.

Recovery will be hard going I guess, but worth it all!

Prayer and perseverance are keys and and of course an open Bible - dwell on God's promises to you - you are truly precious in His sight.

Warmest regards in Christ.

 

[sharedtears]

I will pray for you as well!

 

[JesusFreak78]

I have/do go through the same thing as you (except for that I have a job). I'll pray for you.

Deuteronomy 4:31
(For the LORD thy God is a merciful God he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them.

Psalm 9:10
And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.

Isaiah 54:10
For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee.

Nahum 1:7
The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him.

Psalm 71:20
Thou, which hast showed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up again from the depths of the earth.

Psalm 91:10-11
10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. 11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

Psalm 126:5-6
5 They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. 6 He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.


I hope this few bible verses will help you through this.
God bless you and protect you.

 

[Kvikklunsj]

I've spent the past couple days trying to get up the nerve to tell my family. The other day, I spent a long time writing an email explaining everything because it's easier and less stressful to organize my thoughts that way. But I can't even get myself to send it.

 

[UnitynLove]

Stressed Out! Listen Up!

I have learned something in my own pursuit of a stress-free life—if I want peace rather than the pressure of stress in my life, I must choose to seek direction from God in every situation.

Our God is a God of peace. He will always lead us toward peace and joy, not toward anxiety and frustration. Therefore, we have to be listening for His voice. By following His voice, we can find peace and overcome the stress that so many are dealing with today.

To find peace in our lives, we simply need to obey the promptings God gives us each day. A prompting is a "knowing" deep down on the inside, telling us what to do. First Kings 19:11,12 refers to this knowing as a still, small voice.

A prompting is not a whack on the head with a hammer! In 1 Kings, the Lord did not use the great and strong wind, the earthquake, or fire to prompt Elijah. His voice came to Elijah as a sound of gentle stillness and a still, small voice. A prompting doesn't even have to be a voice at all—in fact, God often gives direction by speaking to your heart rather than to your ears.

Since a prompting is very gentle, some might question whether it is from God or not. When you're unsure about a prompting, it's often easy to ignore it. One time, after I had been shopping at the mall for three or four hours, I sensed that God was saying, "You need to go home now." I had only purchased half of the eight items on my shopping list, so I ignored the prompting and kept on shopping.

The remaining items on my list were not immediate needs. But, like many determined, goal-oriented people, I was not about to leave that mall until I purchased every item on my list. I had come for eight items, and I was going to leave with eight items! I didn't care if I had to be dragged out of that mall, I wasn't leaving until every item was crossed off my list! And I wasn't going to listen to any voice that said otherwise.

I remember reaching the point of being so tired and upset that I wasn't even able to think clearly. All I wanted to do was finish shopping and get out of there. It was almost more than I could do to remain civil to the other shoppers and clerks in the store. I was stressed out!

Looking back, I can't remember how many times I've done that—stressing out because I've pushed beyond the prompting of the Lord. I can always tell I've gone too far when I'm not able to practice even the most basic manners—politeness, kindness, and self-control.

If I simply had obeyed the prompting of the Lord when I heard that "still, small voice," telling me to go home, I would have easily relieved the stress from the situation. Instead, I bulled my way through in my own determination to achieve my goal, and I ended up bringing stress on myself and everyone else around me.

If we will simply learn to listen to God and do what He says, we will discover that things will go well for us. No matter what the situation, we need to listen to God and obey His voice. Proverbs 3:6 states: In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. You may not understand the reasons for God asking you to do certain things, but as you listen to His voice and obey His direction, you can experience a peaceful calmness as your stress level begins to decrease. So listen up...and de-stress!

 

[singinforthelord]

I have had severe panic attacks for 20 years now (the kind you end up at the hospital) My question is I am now faced with fibromyalgia. Has anyone else here that deals with panic attacks been diagnosed with this disorder?

 

[Daughter of His]

flad logic,

I hope you tell your family soon, I think it is important. Perhaps you can get some information about panic attacks or social anxiety to help explain your feelings. I think it's next to impossible for people without this problem to even understand it's real. Maybe a regular physician can help you, mine gave me a prescription which helps but probably not enough. I so understand. Things can be a lot better for you I assure you. Another thing you can do is when you have negative thoughts think about what you are thinking? Is it really logical or not. If it is not true-purposely replace this thought in your mind with a positive thought about yourself. "I can make this call, no problem."

for you

 

[Kvikklunsj]

flad logic,

I hope you tell your family soon, I think it is important. Perhaps you can get some information about panic attacks or social anxiety to help explain your feelings. I think it's next to impossible for people without this problem to even understand it's real. Maybe a regular physician can help you, mine gave me a prescription which helps but probably not enough. I so understand. Things can be a lot better for you I assure you. Another thing you can do is when you have negative thoughts think about what you are thinking? Is it really logical or not. If it is not true-purposely replace this thought in your mind with a positive thought about yourself. "I can make this call, no problem."

for you

I know I need to tell them, but I just can't get myself to do it. That's the hardest part - bringing it up. Guess I'll keep praying and see if God shows me what to do.
And thanks for your prayers.

 

[jehovahjireh2007]

Yes I would but it is hard trying to tell them. If God wants you to tell them then He will show you the way. Perhaps He will give you an opening.

Praying for you......

Derbystudent

 

[Athanasian Creed]

'Flod Logic' sounds to me you suffer from S.A.D. (Social Anxiety Disorder) and A.P.D. (Avoidant Personality Disorder) Does this describe the debilitating anxiety you feel?

People with social anxiety disorder do not believe that their anxiety is related to a medical or physical illness or disease. This type of anxiety occurs in most social situations, especially when the person feels on display or is the center of attention.

The socially-anxious person has extremely high anxiety when they're put into a position to make small talk to a stranger or interact in a group. The anxiety becomes worse when the person fears that they are going to be singled out, ridiculed, criticized, embarrassed, or belittled. People with social anxiety find it to be a terrifying experience to interact with unfamiliar people, give any type of public presentation, or even be publicly noticed. For example, the office may be planning a birthday party for the socially-anxious person -- and instead of this being a pleasant and happy experience -- it will cause great anticipatory fear and dread -- because they will be on display.....in front of all those people.....and then they fear they will do something to make a fool of themselves......

The person with social anxiety is sometimes viewed as "quiet", "shy", "introverted", or "backward". They are continually concerned that other people will notice their anxiety and they will be humiliated and embarrassed as a result. Most people with social anxiety disorder hold down jobs that are well beneath their capabilities and capacities because they fear job interviews, working in a position where there is too much public contact, and being promoted to a position where they would have to supervise other people. When socially-anxious people isolate themselves as much as possible and are somehow enabled to stay at home and not work, their social contact can drift down to the immediate family or to absolutely no one at all.

Once a person avoids almost all social and public interactions we say the person has an extreme case of social anxiety disorder, more commonly called avoidant personality disorder. As you would expect, people with social anxiety disorder have an elevated rate of relationship difficulties, and substance abuse.

This is what they prescribe for treatment:

Medication changes brain chemistry temporarily; Cognitive Behavioural Therapy has the power to make it permanent.


Anti-anxiety agents, such as Ativan and Klonopin: These are the agents of choice for starting anxiety management. The most positive research is available on these two anti-anxiety agents. (Note: these are anti-anxiety agents and will have no effect on dysthymia and depression. If a person has strong depression, this medication may not be the agent of choice.)

Many "primary care" physicians (GPs) have not been trained in the anxiety disorders and see these medications as being "addictive". However, these medications are NOT addictive for people with clinical anxiety disorders. Over three dozen research studies report that people with clinical anxiety disorders do not become drug addicts as a result of temporary anti-anxiety use. These medications can be very helpful for people with social phobia. Find a psychiatrist who understands this. These medications are tolerated well and almost always help. There are few side effects (e.g., tiredness at first) and they work quickly. There seems to be more research support for the use of Ativan (lorazepam) and Klonopin (clonazepam) in the treatment of social anxiety than the other anti-anxiety medications.

If a professional tells a person with a definable, DSM-IV anxiety disorder that the anti-anxiety agents may prove addictive to them, the professional (a) is not aware of research in the area of anxiety, and (b) should probably not be treating you. The anti-anxiety agents work, they are safe, and people with anxiety disorders stay on a low dosage when going through CBT. These medications are nothing to worry about.

When stopping anti-anxiety use, it is necessary to taper off the medication very slowly, by reducing the dose gradually over a period of 3 to 4 weeks.

MAOIs: These medications, in general, have been shown to work effectively approximately 60-85% of the time for people with clinical social anxiety. Most people with social anxiety do not need this medication, however.

If a medication is needed in addition to the anti-anxiety agents, these medications have been shown to work best for social anxiety disorder. Although most of our generalized social anxiety people do NOT need to be on these medications, people with more avoidant behaviors DO need the added benefits of an MAOI.

We have found that, in general, Parnate, as opposed to Nardil, is more effective with (generalized) social anxiety disorder, provided there are no other anxiety or mental health care complications. (Nardil has been shown by research to be effective, also, although we have yet to see anyone tolerate this medication. If an MAOI is considered, we recommend Parnate over Nardil, due to Parnate's added noradrenergic and dopaminergic effects). People with avoidant personality disorder are usually greatly helped by this medication. Although these medications require slight food restrictions, the current restriction list (even as far back as of 1998) is quite small. No responsible adult who needs to be on an MAOI, and is receiving help from the medication, has ever complained about the food restrictions.

Our more severely socially-anxious individuals (currently being termed "avoidant personality disorder") may need to use these medications, under proper psychiatric care. Again, Parnate works faster, has less side effects, is uplifting and motivating for people with social anxiety and is preferred over Nardil. Talk with your social anxiety therapist about this first, and get a recommendation to a psychiatrist who understands social anxiety and this particular medication in general. You will not typically be able to obtain one of the MAOIs from your general practitioner, as they are usually unaware of the positive effects these medications can play in helping people with social anxiety.

http://www.anxietynetwork.com/sphome.html
http://www.anxietynetwork.com/spmed.html

A secular psychologist offers a set of 20 Cognitive Behaviour Therapy CD's:

http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/orderpage1.html

Most psychiatrists/psychologists believe that both medicinal/C.B. therapy is necessary to treat and overcome S.A.D. & A.P.D. Cognitive means to "re-think" or "re-train" behaviours.


Ray

 

[Kvikklunsj]

Anthanasian Creed: Thanks for all the information.
I'm sure I have social anxiety, but I'm not sure about avoidant personality disorder. I'm fine with going places in general, being in a crowd, etc., but when it comes to one-on-one type stuff, it's usually hard to handle. I've noticed that I feel less and less like being around my few friends, though, so I don't know if that's part of avoidant personality disorder or not.
In any case, the idea of having to take medicine for it is kind of scary...

 

[Athanasian Creed]

... In any case, the idea of having to take medicine for it is kind of scary...

Unfortunately, some people need it in order to cope with the day, or else they might just stay in all day, avoiding people and give up in despair. It MUST be incorporated with CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), which is the primary source of overcoming SAD/APD. With some people, one without the other is like putting a bandaid on a wound that requires stitches.


Ray