I'm a little old fashioned, but a woman asking me out would have been a little bit of a turn-off when I was dating. It puts the dynamics of the relationship in question up front.
But I saw a body language video on YouTube a while back that says that while woman say they want the guy to make the first move, from a body language perspective, the woman is usually the first to signal issue. The woman plays with her hair, makes eye contact, positions her body in an open or kind of vulnerable position toward a man while talking to him (the example in the video was positioning her head to expose her neck.) It's all subtle and women man not realize they are doing it and men may not consciously realize it, but maybe subconsciously they pick up on it.
If you want the type of guy who makes the first move, a Christian man from the type of church that believes men are the spiritual leaders, then you may be wanting the type of man who isn't going to want to pursue a relationship all the way to marriage with a woman who doesn't think men should be leaders.
I was just thinking of a woman about 30 in Jakarta I talked with several years ago. My wife and I were apartment hunting, and happened to meet this woman from church in the apartment. It turns out she was really bummed out about a man who was probably nearly 50 getting married. She was local Chinese. He was Chinese from another country, a man with probably a pretty good job in business who taught a Bible study. He seemed to be kind of conservative. He'd never married. He had shown up at church with a beautiful Chinese wife that I think he'd met overseas. I'd had a few conversations with him, but didn't know him well. He and his wife seemed very happy.
This Chinese woman from church was sulking because she'd had a crush on the older man. She told about it. He would greet her and be very friendly with her at church. She seemed betrayed somehow, angry at his wife. It didn't sound like he'd done anything at all to lead him on. During our conversation, this woman said she was a feminist. She was the only woman in Indonesia I'd ever met who called herself a feminist. I don't know if I'd even heard the word there from anyone else. I think this other Chinese man knew she was a feminist, too. And she was reasonably good-looking, thin, had a decent job. But wasn't married. I just wonder if calling herself a feminist was something that hindered her getting married. Based on what I knew of this Chinese man, I could imagine it would remove a woman from his consideration set as a marriage partner. Honestly, it would have for me, too.
But I saw a body language video on YouTube a while back that says that while woman say they want the guy to make the first move, from a body language perspective, the woman is usually the first to signal issue. The woman plays with her hair, makes eye contact, positions her body in an open or kind of vulnerable position toward a man while talking to him (the example in the video was positioning her head to expose her neck.) It's all subtle and women man not realize they are doing it and men may not consciously realize it, but maybe subconsciously they pick up on it.
If you want the type of guy who makes the first move, a Christian man from the type of church that believes men are the spiritual leaders, then you may be wanting the type of man who isn't going to want to pursue a relationship all the way to marriage with a woman who doesn't think men should be leaders.
I was just thinking of a woman about 30 in Jakarta I talked with several years ago. My wife and I were apartment hunting, and happened to meet this woman from church in the apartment. It turns out she was really bummed out about a man who was probably nearly 50 getting married. She was local Chinese. He was Chinese from another country, a man with probably a pretty good job in business who taught a Bible study. He seemed to be kind of conservative. He'd never married. He had shown up at church with a beautiful Chinese wife that I think he'd met overseas. I'd had a few conversations with him, but didn't know him well. He and his wife seemed very happy.
This Chinese woman from church was sulking because she'd had a crush on the older man. She told about it. He would greet her and be very friendly with her at church. She seemed betrayed somehow, angry at his wife. It didn't sound like he'd done anything at all to lead him on. During our conversation, this woman said she was a feminist. She was the only woman in Indonesia I'd ever met who called herself a feminist. I don't know if I'd even heard the word there from anyone else. I think this other Chinese man knew she was a feminist, too. And she was reasonably good-looking, thin, had a decent job. But wasn't married. I just wonder if calling herself a feminist was something that hindered her getting married. Based on what I knew of this Chinese man, I could imagine it would remove a woman from his consideration set as a marriage partner. Honestly, it would have for me, too.
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