As much as I try I feel I dont belong or fit in anywhere. I feel like an outsider and a freak. Anyone ever share my feelings?
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I don't belong anywhere
- Thread starter Bomichaels1972
- Start date
Loven God
Regular Member
I know how you feel . i do try to fit in at church or other places and I do make friends but i still feel like I don't fit in because of my bipolar . In my mind I feel like I stand out kind of like having a big bipolarstamp on my forhead that makes people stand off and not want to get to close to me .
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I think it is human nature
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Yusuphhai
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Oh friends i can hardly find people who don't belong anywhere like me. I am not a Chinese, not a Arab, not a Jewish, not a protestant Christian, using Chinese and English language and words but have blood lineage ,culture and religion from Middle East background. And I work for the Communist grassroot government and am a mental handicaped for BP.
Yeah Unique should not be a excuse to keep oneself away from the crowd. pay more care to different people, then gain more acceptance from them and others. Every one is Unique and precious in the sight of God, and has worderful situation and missions to accomplish.
Have a blessed week dear friends.
Yeah Unique should not be a excuse to keep oneself away from the crowd. pay more care to different people, then gain more acceptance from them and others. Every one is Unique and precious in the sight of God, and has worderful situation and missions to accomplish.
Have a blessed week dear friends.
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quietpraiyze
In The Secret Place
Bomichaels1972!!! I was just thinking about you the other day. I had reread a thread you had posted to me in and I was wondering where you were. I'm so glad to see you again. In knowing the bipolar is what it is, I hope you and your family are doing well.
To answer your question...um...YES! That's my life story. Sometimes it's very visceral. It's all through me and I feel like I'm literally not of this earth. I know that sounds hokey but it's true. Sometimes I feel like apparently I just didn't get the memo or that everybody's on a certain rythym and I just can't catch it. I can't keep in step. It's been like that my whole life. But to fit in makes me feel suffocated and trapped. What ensues is usually an internal battle. If I win, I can make it out in one piece with very little losses. If I lose, it's a hospitalization and a lot of losses. I don't know how much of it is the bipolar itself but I do know my bipolar is affected by it.
How do you deal with it?
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I guess I just try to keep moving forward but it gets overwhelmimg at times. Expectations within the church walls have been the worst thing for me. I have a good friemd who is a missional pastor and despises our cultures mega chirch paradigm of church. To be honest I am to. I would prefer to fimd and gather the marginalized of our world amd simply be Jesus to them. HOW? Not sure. I have more questions tham answers all the time.
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quietpraiyze
In The Secret Place
I left the institutional religious system people call "church" NOT the Body of Christ. I'm so grateful that God led me out of that system. I didn't leave angry or hurt. I just wanted Jesus and He's who I pursue. Some Christians don't understand that. Some Christians try and tear people like me down on the regular. The try to manipulate with the Word (Heb 10:25), and beat us back into into that system but I'm never going back. I don't care. Christians can say whatever ugly things they want to. I'm in a safe place in God and I'm where I'm supposed to be. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt Jesus Christ is the author and finisher of my faith - not them. So I hope they're where they are supposed to be.
Aside from getting Saved, leaving the institutional religious system has been the best decision I've ever made. I don't tell others to what they should do - stay or go. I believe that's between the individual and God.
Aside from getting Saved, leaving the institutional religious system has been the best decision I've ever made. I don't tell others to what they should do - stay or go. I believe that's between the individual and God.
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graciesings
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Nobody fits in perfectly, and that's a good thing! Think how boring it would be to live in a world where everybody was exactly the same!
Also, look at the people around you. If you live on the same planet I do, a lot of those people are mean or rude. It is important to be kind to others and be polite. If you are being reasonable and sociable it DOESN"T MATTER if you fit in or not! I am a person who really does not fit in anywhere, but I have a lot of friends that like me because I'm different. I work hard at being nice to everyone, and I think a lot of people like my attitude better than the usual sullen-teenager thing. Why fit in if I can be kinder than the people around me?
Also, look at the people around you. If you live on the same planet I do, a lot of those people are mean or rude. It is important to be kind to others and be polite. If you are being reasonable and sociable it DOESN"T MATTER if you fit in or not! I am a person who really does not fit in anywhere, but I have a lot of friends that like me because I'm different. I work hard at being nice to everyone, and I think a lot of people like my attitude better than the usual sullen-teenager thing. Why fit in if I can be kinder than the people around me?
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quietpraiyze
In The Secret Place
Loven God I agree with you. It's a blessing that you and your husband respect each other in that way. Some people tear up their marriages behind this. I can't begin to tell you the nasty things that I have experienced and read from some Christians regarding us Christians who don't go to "church". The belief that we're not Saved anymore is top of the list. People think we're alone which is really a misconception. There are Christians who feel free to berate us, call us names, make threats, bully, etc. You name it. It's just nasty. If that's how they treat those of us who are Saved, I wonder how they are treating the world?
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I have bipolar, too. I don't feel as if I fit in anywhere either but do have a few friends who like me as I am and that is all that matters to me. Take that stamp off of your forehead. Many many people have diagnosis and it is just a group of symptoms that are assessed for insurance purposes. That is what I was told when I felt labeled, too. I am praying for you.
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Yusuphhai
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I think isolation is not a way to solve problems, although I myself don't want to go to any church here in Beijing China for they can be hardly tolerant to Oriental perspective about Jesus Christ. I prefer to go to Rehabilitation Room on web, for the members are more tolerant to all kinds of people, whatever their backgrounds are, Christian or non-Christian, Protestant or non-Protestant,Calvinist or non-Calvinist. Being kind to others is the primary rule to observe.
Even if I don't want to go to church and disagree some teachings of them, i can still go there and communicate with some members. Christ's body does not mean isolation, but real communication all over the world in Him. When I am weak and vulnerable even despaired it is hard to forwardly contact others, but it is a way out of isolation.
Have a blessed week dear friends here!
Even if I don't want to go to church and disagree some teachings of them, i can still go there and communicate with some members. Christ's body does not mean isolation, but real communication all over the world in Him. When I am weak and vulnerable even despaired it is hard to forwardly contact others, but it is a way out of isolation.
Have a blessed week dear friends here!
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quietpraiyze
In The Secret Place
I kind of wonder if isolation isnt perception. I say this because I dont isolate in my Faith but I do with my bipolar. If that makes sense...
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Yusuphhai
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How to treat the weak members is also a important part of faith. If a church only emphasizes how excellent their faith is but does not actually treat the weak kindly, which is more important, Christ or their inner pride?
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I have been in your shoes. I know exactly how you feel.
I have bipolar disorder, OCD, and have been abused. Especially, before my senior year of college, I was the butt of all the jokes. While in college, my undiagnosed illness caused students and a couple teachers to no want me in their class. I remember driving home from school that winter night, experiencing the pains of rejection and severe depression as I contemplated suicide by purposely running my car off the road and into death. However, during that crisis of belief, God played an inspirational song on the radio. I felt God speaking to me: "Don't be afraid. Just trust me."
About a year later, still felt unloved and alone, I met a teacher who took special interest in me. He cared when seemingly no one else did. He led me to the school counselor, who led me to a psychiatrist. That's how my bipolar got diagnosed, and later my OCD. Today my symptoms have mostly been stable.
God put a special person in my life when I felt alone and rejected. I owe that teacher my life. However, what made me feel whole was not because someone came in my life and decided to love me, but rather when I finally learned to believe in the advice of two Christian therapists. You see, we find freedom when we stop basing our self-worth upon performance and other's opinions (read Search of Significance); but instead, base our self-worth on the fact that we are a special creation of God. God loves us so much that He sent a special person (Jesus) to die for our sins - that shows how desperately He loves me and you, even when we feel like unloved outcasts. We are the coin, the sheep, the Prodigal Son that is heavily valued and looked for. Nothing can ever separate us from God's Love - nothing
God has no favorites. That means He doesn't value one person better than another, like how we all fear others do. Just imagine this: A perfect God so desperately loves and wants a relationship with you so badly and intensely that He had His son murdered, so you (and others) can have a chance to enjoy an intimate love relationship with you forever.
Yes we all have flaws. We are sinners. However, when God looks at His children's sins, He sees Jesus. We are covered by His blood. God's love is perfect and unchangeable.
You are not a mistake. He will never leave nor forsake you. There's nothing His children can do to change His mind. He loves you unconditionally. His Love is unchangeable, unlike the people you think doesn't love you. So base your self-worth on God's viewpoints of you, not what imperfect, fickle people! Be strong in the Lord, my friend!
I have bipolar disorder, OCD, and have been abused. Especially, before my senior year of college, I was the butt of all the jokes. While in college, my undiagnosed illness caused students and a couple teachers to no want me in their class. I remember driving home from school that winter night, experiencing the pains of rejection and severe depression as I contemplated suicide by purposely running my car off the road and into death. However, during that crisis of belief, God played an inspirational song on the radio. I felt God speaking to me: "Don't be afraid. Just trust me."
About a year later, still felt unloved and alone, I met a teacher who took special interest in me. He cared when seemingly no one else did. He led me to the school counselor, who led me to a psychiatrist. That's how my bipolar got diagnosed, and later my OCD. Today my symptoms have mostly been stable.
God put a special person in my life when I felt alone and rejected. I owe that teacher my life. However, what made me feel whole was not because someone came in my life and decided to love me, but rather when I finally learned to believe in the advice of two Christian therapists. You see, we find freedom when we stop basing our self-worth upon performance and other's opinions (read Search of Significance); but instead, base our self-worth on the fact that we are a special creation of God. God loves us so much that He sent a special person (Jesus) to die for our sins - that shows how desperately He loves me and you, even when we feel like unloved outcasts. We are the coin, the sheep, the Prodigal Son that is heavily valued and looked for. Nothing can ever separate us from God's Love - nothing
God has no favorites. That means He doesn't value one person better than another, like how we all fear others do. Just imagine this: A perfect God so desperately loves and wants a relationship with you so badly and intensely that He had His son murdered, so you (and others) can have a chance to enjoy an intimate love relationship with you forever.
Yes we all have flaws. We are sinners. However, when God looks at His children's sins, He sees Jesus. We are covered by His blood. God's love is perfect and unchangeable.
You are not a mistake. He will never leave nor forsake you. There's nothing His children can do to change His mind. He loves you unconditionally. His Love is unchangeable, unlike the people you think doesn't love you. So base your self-worth on God's viewpoints of you, not what imperfect, fickle people! Be strong in the Lord, my friend!
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Hopes
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I can relate to that. I fear being rejected so badly that I have became a recluse over the years. I can kind of do small talk with people in public but I don't deal well with people so I stay alone.
I have been hurt so badly so many times that I just cant risk it anymore. So I guess that makes me sort of a freak. Or maybe people like us are set apart? I don't want to think that highly of myself though so I am thinking I am just a freak.
Wish I had better advice but I cant even force myself to go to church yet although I would like to sometimes.
I have been hurt so badly so many times that I just cant risk it anymore. So I guess that makes me sort of a freak. Or maybe people like us are set apart? I don't want to think that highly of myself though so I am thinking I am just a freak.
Wish I had better advice but I cant even force myself to go to church yet although I would like to sometimes.
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thunderbyrd
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i'm 54 yrs old and have felt some version of this most of my life. i suppose some times i have been unhappy about it, but for the most part, as i have grown and matured, i really don't care. i have a wife who loves and understands me and a church of humble people who love God and accept me.
i have found i have no use for a "social" life, beyond my church.
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Trailltrader
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*Ahem* Embarassingly, its the feelings you've described is what made me find this forum! I AM A FREAK! Kinda like John Merrick or so I think emotionally. Maybe I am the emotional version of John Merrick the elephant man.
I don't fit in with my family- I disowned them 5 years ago because of their drama. I don't fit in with my church because of my bipolar.
But I try. The only failure in life is to not try.
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BlessedMommy05
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Hello
I know its been forever since I been around on the forums..Lucky remembered my log in LOL. Anyway my thought is this and some thing I learned in the last couple years, alot of people feel we bash others or not help or not give something we have that can help someone else, that can be any thing from love someone to material posessions. But one thing I learned and its kind of proving to me least partly true... People are afraid of what they do not understand. So they do not know how to help someone or be there, or show love, or even want to learn about a certain illness, bipolar, mental issues, or phyical issues. So I think alot of us who feel we don't fit in is I think we do in some terms because its not "us" who's the problem, its those who refuse to want to open thier hearts and minds a inch to see what its like to deal with certain things we have in our lives. But that's my .1 cent.
Prayers for all of us who deal with things as we continue to walk the path Christ set for us...
I know its been forever since I been around on the forums..Lucky remembered my log in LOL. Anyway my thought is this and some thing I learned in the last couple years, alot of people feel we bash others or not help or not give something we have that can help someone else, that can be any thing from love someone to material posessions. But one thing I learned and its kind of proving to me least partly true... People are afraid of what they do not understand. So they do not know how to help someone or be there, or show love, or even want to learn about a certain illness, bipolar, mental issues, or phyical issues. So I think alot of us who feel we don't fit in is I think we do in some terms because its not "us" who's the problem, its those who refuse to want to open thier hearts and minds a inch to see what its like to deal with certain things we have in our lives. But that's my .1 cent.
Prayers for all of us who deal with things as we continue to walk the path Christ set for us...
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