I don't belong anywhere

[misfit76]

All of the time.... That's why I hardly ever go anywhere and one of the reasons I joined this forum, to find more people like me, for support and to give others support.

 

[Trailltrader]

Its ironic that those of us who don't feel we belong anywhere have now found a place where we all belong which is here.

 

[stillseeking1]

I used to feel the same way and it was so discouraging I broke down one day.
But now, I learned to accept myself just the way I am and see the beauty in being a freak who is loved by God no matter what.

 

[CraftyTurtle]

I think we don't belong in a lot of places, and we do belong in just a few. I don't belong in a band room or the glee club room, but I do belong in an art room. I don't belong in a softball team or a hockey team or a tennis squad, but downhill skiing is my thing. We all know we aren't supposed to be good at everything, but we must remember that we are not supposed to *like* everything either. I have found that by just doing what I enjoy, and what I am good at, that others gravitate towards me, because they like that activity too.

Within the church, I search for artistic opportunities, and I discovered I can give the children's story, having illustrated half-a-dozen pages beforehand. The actual storytelling is a teensy bit scary for me, but I am getting used to it.

Do what you do best, and opportunities for friendship and belonging will find you.

Look around - do you really *want* to belong with a lot of the people you see? A life with God is the road less traveled. Wouldn't you rather belong to the right people, than the wrong people?

 

[Trailltrader]

Look around - do you really *want* to belong with a lot of the people you see? A life with God is the road less traveled. Wouldn't you rather belong to the right people, than the wrong people?

*Chuckles* You just opened up a can of worms there! Remember when the Apostle Paul has a little chat with Pete because Pete was spending time with the Pharases and ignoring the Christians? Galatians chapter 2:

11 When Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. 12 For before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group. 13 The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, so that by their hypocrisy even Barnabas was led astray.
14 When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Cephas in front of them all, “You are a Jew, yet you live like a Gentile and not like a Jew. How is it, then, that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs?
15 “We who are Jews by birth and not sinful Gentiles 16 know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in[d] Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified.
17 “But if, in seeking to be justified in Christ, we Jews find ourselves also among the sinners, doesn’t that mean that Christ promotes sin? Absolutely not! 18 If I rebuild what I destroyed, then I really would be a lawbreaker.
19 “For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. 20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 21 I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!”[e]

If I am understanding this correctly, it means that while we move and be in the presence of "the Gentiles" we lead them to Christ by our example(s) right? Or have I made the wrong conclusion from this chapter?

 

[CraftyTurtle]

I see your point, but I am not speaking in terms of teaching, but in terms of feeling comfortable amongst like-minded people from whom we can learn and share. If you are lonely within yourself and introverted, surrounding yourself with people who have opposing viewpoints does not bode well. Why compromise yourself just to hang out with people that you don't get along with?

You are judged by the company you keep. ...and the reasons you keep them. Yes we all know Jesus hung out with tax collectors and prostitutes, but he taught and influenced them, because He had a mission, and was confident in that mission. A shy man could easily be influenced by those around him, to his detriment. Don't expect that every lamb can be a lion.

 

[Trailltrader]

. A shy man could easily be influenced by those around him, to his detriment. Don't expect that every lamb can be a lion.

This is true, but 1)we have the Great Commission and 2)God created man but Samuel Colt made them equal...

 

[PBA]

I don't like feeling lonely either, but in many cases I'm glad I don't fit in too much. To fit in more I would have to compromise myself. I would not be happy being a clone or a yes man. It's refreshing to find those I relate more to, but usually my fitting in is still limited. I think it's supposed to be somewhat. I need the freedom to be myself, make mistakes, learn, and grow. I need others to share with in this process, but not to control me. We're supposed to seek after God and His will in our lives. We're to exalt Christ, not man. Not those who claim to be more than they are. Celebrate not fitting in to the norm and that you will fit in when He returns. That's when the loneliness will vanish away.

 

[CraftyTurtle]

I found the reference - Psalm 1:1-2


1 Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

The key word is "counsel". It means influence or taking heed. It means don't seek the company of those who influence you to the ways of the world, and against the way of God.

Compromising yourself for the sake of having people to hang out with .... ultimately isn't worth it.

 

[schrodingers_cat_lives]

When I think of "belonging", I don't think of fitting in or being in the in crowd....I think of being loved, being needed, valued and connecting with human beings who are born with the need to deeply connect with others and that is what is missing in my life. That and a deeper connection with my god. This illnesses-this despair, this constant sadness, instability, loneliness, isolation, crippling fear and anxiety...all of them and more have slowly chipped away at my ability to find connection with others to the point where I no longer remember or know how to participate in society. I am 44, unmarried, unchurched, have no children and no real friends other than acquaintances I connect with online in passing. I wasn't always like this. The repercussions of this illness has robbed me of my humanity little by little to the point where I feel helpless, hopeless, despondent and so disconnected from others that I can no longer recognize what my own sense of self should look/feel/be like anymore. Do I want help? Of course I do...desperately. I listen to my doctor, take my meds and pray for stability. There are no Christian therapists that take my insurance and I can't even find group therapy in my area. It's good to have this forum to blow off steam, but it's not the same as real human connection. The older and more alone I become, the scarier it gets since it feels less like living and more like surviving. I never thought, as a young xian, with so much promise, hope and drive, that this is what would become of me. And yes, I am entering a depressed episode, as is obvious, but the consequences or the toll it's taken on me psychologically and spiritually, despite the biological nature of this disease, is just as damaging as the disease itself. The sicker I get, the harder it seems to come back or find the will/strength to swim back to that once familiar shore I once knew so well. What will become of me? God have mercy, Christ have mercy on my wounded soul...on all of us who battle this war. May he flood our hearts with his peace and comfort us with a deep understanding that we are loved, unforgotten and sheltered within his wounds.

 

[Trailltrader]

An Epic Poem, Courtesy of "The Straight Dope" Cecil Adams

The story of Schroedinger's cat (an epic poem)

May 7, 1982
Dear Cecil:
Cecil, you're my final hope
Of finding out the true Straight Dope
For I have been reading of Schroedinger's cat
But none of my cats are at all like that.
This unusual animal (so it is said)
Is simultaneously live and dead!
What I don't understand is just why he
Can't be one or other, unquestionably.
My future now hangs in between eigenstates.
In one I'm enlightened, the other I ain't.
If you understand, Cecil, then show me the way
And rescue my psyche from quantum decay.
But if this queer thing has perplexed even you,
Then I will and won't see you in Schroedinger's zoo.
— Randy F., Chicago

Cecil replies:
Schroedinger, Erwin! Professor of physics!
Wrote daring equations! Confounded his critics!
(Not bad, eh? Don't worry. This part of the verse
Starts off pretty good, but it gets a lot worse.)
Win saw that the theory that Newton'd invented
By Einstein's discov'ries had been badly dented.
What now? wailed his colleagues. Said Erwin, "Don't panic,
No grease monkey I, but a quantum mechanic.
Consider electrons. Now, these teeny articles
Are sometimes like waves, and then sometimes like particles.
If that's not confusing, the nuclear dance
Of electrons and suchlike is governed by chance!
No sweat, though — my theory permits us to judge
Where some of 'em is and the rest of 'em was."
Not everyone bought this. It threatened to wreck
The comforting linkage of cause and effect.
E'en Einstein had doubts, and so Schroedinger tried
To tell him what quantum mechanics implied.
Said Win to Al, "Brother, suppose we've a cat,
And inside a tube we have put that cat at —
Along with a solitaire deck and some Fritos,
A bottle of Night Train, a couple mosquitoes
(Or something else rhyming) and, oh, if you got 'em,
One vial prussic acid, one decaying ottom
Or atom — whatever — but when it emits,
A trigger device blasts the vial into bits
Which snuffs our poor kitty. The odds of this crime
Are 50 to 50 per hour each time.
The cylinder's sealed. The hour's passed away. Is
Our [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] still purring — or pushing up daisies?
Now, you'd say the cat either lives or it don't
But quantum mechanics is stubborn and won't.
Statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),
Is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.
To some this may seem a ridiculous split,
But quantum mechanics must answer, "Tough".
We may not know much, but one thing's fo' sho':
There's things in the cosmos that we cannot know.
Shine light on electrons — you'll cause them to swerve.
The act of observing disturbs the observed —
Which ruins your test. But then if there's no testing
To see if a particle's moving or resting
Why try to conjecture? Pure useless endeavor!
We know probability — certainty, never.'
The effect of this notion? I very much fear
'Twill make doubtful all things that were formerly clear.
Till soon the cat doctors will say in reports,
"We've just flipped a coin and we've learned he's a corpse."'
So saith Herr Erwin. Quoth Albert, "You're nuts.
God doesn't play dice with the universe, putz.
I'll prove it!" he said, and the Lord knows he tried —
In vain — until fin'ly he more or less died.
Win spoke at the funeral: "Listen, dear friends,
Sweet Al was my buddy. I must make amends.
Though he doubted my theory, I'll say of this saint:
Ten-to-one he's in heaven — but five bucks says he ain't."
— Cecil Adams

 

[Bomichaels1972]

Thanks for your reply and honesty. It is refreshing to hear someone truly reveal there dark fears.and reality of there inner anguish. I feel this too and feel so alone. I know God loves us but sometimes get frustrated when others are manic on this board and tell me how they have specific answers to my situation. We all fall hard, get confused, and want to give up most of the time. I admit I am not a success story and most likely never will be. Others will will jump on me for this statement I am sure. However, I believe Jesus and I dont care about my story or success. No one will be making statues as a tribute to me or most people. Plus that is idolatry anyway. I think it is all about love. It is all just a game.. We all just want to be loved. I know I do! We humans judge everything. I am certain I will be judged for writing this. It gets annoying to me. The games...I am smarter, know more scripture, know more history, have a better physique, have more friends, have a bigger bank accout, nicer, kinder, have done more good deeds than you....It is endless. Yes, the spirit of Jesus will renew.those who welcome His Grace. However, competetive grace is a dangerous line. If I dont measure up to someone elses theological ideation should I feel guilty? I will strive to to love,.yes. Selfishly, though, I long for non judgemental love.

 

[quietpraiyze]

Thanks for your reply and honesty. It is refreshing to hear someone truly reveal there dark fears.and reality of there inner anguish. I feel this too and feel so alone. I know God loves us but sometimes get frustrated when others are manic on this board and tell me how they have specific answers to my situation. We all fall hard, get confused, and want to give up most of the time. I admit I am not a success story and most likely never will be. Others will will jump on me for this statement I am sure. However, I believe Jesus and I dont care about my story or success. No one will be making statues as a tribute to me or most people. Plus that is idolatry anyway. I think it is all about love. It is all just a game.. We all just want to be loved. I know I do! We humans judge everything. I am certain I will be judged for writing this. It gets annoying to me. The games...I am smarter, know more scripture, know more history, have a better physique, have more friends, have a bigger bank accout, nicer, kinder, have done more good deeds than you....It is endless. Yes, the spirit of Jesus will renew.those who welcome His Grace. However, competetive grace is a dangerous line. If I dont measure up to someone elses theological ideation should I feel guilty? I will strive to to love,.yes. Selfishly, though, I long for non judgemental love.

Really?!! In the time that I've been here, I've not seen this. We're all fighting the same battle in different ways. We show up and we give what we can. Maybe it's not good enough for you but it's all we have. From what I've seen people are trying to help. I don't see where anybody was judgemental toward you or competitive. I think your statement is unfair and you're projecting. You say you long for non judgemental love but your statement is anything but that IMO. All of a sudden we're the enemy because we don't all post our deep dark fears? Really?!! This is mean and hurtful because you don't know what any of us are really going through and we don't have to tell you.

It never fails...what some of us have to give is never enough...there's always a put down....

 

[Bomichaels1972]

I think you misunderstood. I was not projecting or blaming anyone. I think you personalized some of my ramblings. It is not worth getting yourself worked up or anfry over.

 

[hutch1cor1013]

[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']schrodingers_cat_lives:[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'][/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']My heart breaks for you. It really does. I've been praying for you, and I've asked my pastor to do the same for you. My grandma will also pray too. [/FONT]
In John 9:1-3, the disciples asked Jesus, after seeing a blind man from birth, "Why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents' sins?" Jesus replied, "It was not because of his sins or his parents' sins. This happened so the power of God could be seen in him". I believe God created the blind man blind, and me with my OCD and manic depression, and you with your illness, to show the world, that people (especially disabled people) who put their trust and reliance upon God, can overcome enormous odds and find success in God's determined ways, if they put their faith in God.[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'][/FONT]
God loves using the underdogs to defeat the giants of life. No one believed an ordinary shepherd boy David would defeat a giant Goliath, but David did and God got the credit as David's purpose gave freedom to Israel. Likewise, God wants to use disabled people to do things that prove that God is all powerful, so people will come to trust and believe in God.[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'][/FONT]
God has no favorites. That means God doesn't love one person more than another, or less than another. I believe God chose you ( and me and other disabled people) to suffer more than others because He an all-knowing God believes you are strong and perseverant enough to overcome your trials. Remember 1 Corinthians 10:13, Jeremiah 29:11-13, and Philippians 10:13.[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'][/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Because God made you and I disabled, it again doesn't mean He doesn't love us, but that He believes you are the right choice for His purpose of your life, to show the world how great God is, revealed when you overcome through Him. Romans 8:18 says: "Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later." [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']James 1:12: "God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." If you are a child of God, all what you suffer now is nothing compared to riches you will enjoy in heaven.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']So how do you and I make it to the finish line in heaven as we struggle on Earth with sufferings? First, we must be a child of God. If you aren't a child of God, please logon to www.inpursuitoffreedomministries.com/Salvation.htm. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Secondly, we must focus upon the truth as we work to rely upon God to overcome. Embracing promises like Romans 8:28,38-41, Jeremiah 29:11-13, 1 Corinthians 10:13, Psalms 34:17-19 every morning will help you face the darkness of life and the darkness of lies Satan has for you each day. Just like how David's victories in defeating small adversities in the form of lions and bears gave David confidence and courage to defeat Goliath (a giant adversity) in future, God will use smaller trials to strengthen your courage and faith to defeat bigger struggles of life - so when you face a big trial in future, you can take remembrance of previous victories which give you hope to face future trials. (see 1 Samuel 17, and Romans 5:3-5).[/FONT]
Each day, take each problem you have, and confess them and yield them to the Lord, and ask God to deliver you from them. And then trust God to make the changes, and stand and watch Him work. [FONT='Times New Roman','serif'][/FONT]
Final thoughts:
Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we seen now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] [/FONT]The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to rescue each time. (Psalms 34:17-19)[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'][/FONT]
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'][/FONT]
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. (2 cor 4:8-9)[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'][/FONT]
Also look at Jeremiah 29:11-13, Romans 8:35-41, 1 Corinthians 10:13, James 1:12, Matthew 11:28-30.[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'][/FONT]

 

[LJCTAM]

I completely understand what you face everyday. I don't belong anywhere either. Have one distant friend. :o