I cyber stalked my match. I'm an idiot!

[MicroIdiot]

When I was in e- harmony, I did check profiles but that's part of it. I don't know, but does match.com shows how many views you have on your profile?

Now you allow public access to your profile, so why would it bother her or you or anybody. Anything about you that you put in the internet is for public access.

I do that, reading and reading their responses maybe overanalyzing details and looking for things I miss the first time I read someone's answer.

I agree with Masked_chris, it is no big of a deal as one of my friends say. Just let it go. You just overdid it, sinning? I don't think so, you just got too eager, assuming this is your first time dating online.

God bless!!!

Match.com has a counter that shows how many people view your profile.

What I feel bad about is how she felt compelled -- according to my theory -- to take down her profile because she felt uncomfortable about someone viewing it so many times. That was the sin: making someone feel stalked and worried.

 

[joyouspirit]

Match.com has a counter that shows how many people view your profile.

What I feel bad about is how she felt compelled -- according to my theory -- to take down her profile because she felt uncomfortable about someone viewing it so many times. That was the sin: making someone feel stalked and worried.

Oh ok. She doesnt particularly know it's you, so as everybody said just let it go.

Uhm still don't believe it was a sin, but of course we have different beliefs.

i think you are the one worrying too much.

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

Again, I'm sorry I offended, but I was being honest. I guess, I am pretty naive about those sites. *shrugs*

 

[Sketcher]

1. Not to excuse what you did, but it's not a violation of her privacy if it's all information she voluntarily put up. Watching her change in her bedroom would be a violation of her privacy.

2. Even if you're done stalking her, you must realize that since she is female, she will have other stalkers. How many she's going to have will be determined by how attractive she is, but trust me, she will have them. She would do very well to keep everything blocked.

 

[PureSolace]

If you're that obsessed, "learn to save!" That's what hard drives are for! A little technology can go along way. Not that I'm encouraging being a crazy psycho and obsessing over a person you've yet to meet. (And even creepier, posting on a forum so everyone knows you think you've done creepy stalker-ish things.)

When you apply for a job, they Google stalk you. When you play the online dating game, you will be Google stalked by potential matches. And chances are you'll Google stalk your potential matches. Why? Well, cause you wanna make sure the match isn't a crazy psycho who stalks people.

That's just the way of the world... We have much better technology these days, and once you're in the public eye on the web, you're there forever (Or at least till the infrastructure falls apart due to WWIII or something.)

So here's a flip-side though... maybe she didn't block public access cause she noticed a spike in views... It could be for a reason totally not related to you at all! And maybe you're just assuming this whole thing. There are plenty of reasons people would block public access, and not just, "Oh look! I got 20 hits today." Cause 90% of the time, a spike in hits, means some script kiddie's web crawler hiccuped, and viewed the page accidentally till the cows came home.

There's more speculation for or against what ya did, and frankly, I don't know why you're spazzing about it... unless you are some crazy stalker psycho, which I hope your not... cause... Then I'm next! x_x

 

[tammym1972]

I don't see what you did as a big deal. I used to be on the online dating sites and I liked it when I got a lot of profile hits. That's why I was on.

 

[joyouspirit]

So here's a flip-side though... maybe she didn't block public access cause she noticed a spike in views... It could be for a reason totally not related to you at all! And maybe you're just assuming this whole thing.

This is very true, Micro. People do tend to assume too much.

 

[MicroIdiot]

Again, I'm sorry I offended, but I was being honest. I guess, I am pretty naive about those sites. *shrugs*

Hey, your apology isn't necessary since I reacted out of snappiness. But I forgive you, just out of formality I appreciated your honesty and input.

 

[JPPT1974]

You just have to watch out for what
You do on the internet as there
Are sights that are really scary
And that they aren't who they say that they are!

 

[radhead]

I've heard that if you make so many "hits" on a site within a single timeframe it's automatically considered cyber-stalking.

I heard about a guy who made 10,000 hits within a 90 day period. Five minutes later, the cops were at his door. They handcuffed him and took him to the police station to make a report.

 

[radhead]

Actually I'm not sure of the above figure, but it was something like that.

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

If you're that obsessed, "learn to save!" That's what hard drives are for! A little technology can go along way. Not that I'm encouraging being a crazy psycho and obsessing over a person you've yet to meet.

Again, gross! Just another reason to not ever put a profile & picture out there again!

 

[*Starlight*]

Hey brothers and sisters, I have an unfortunate story that should serve as a warning for those who use online social networks.

Last week, I joined match.com and found a girl that I was interested in within five minutes of creating my profile. Judging from her profile, we had lots in common and most important, she was Christian. Excited by the prospect, I added her to my "favorite" list, and this is where I started making mistakes -- and sinning.

For the next few days, I had too much free time, and I compulsively viewed her profile over and over, browsing her photos and re-reading her answers. While I never contacted her, she knew that something was amiss because her profile counter showed that some creep (me) was obsessively checking her page, literally every hour.

I wish it ended there, but it doesn't. I used some information from her match.com profile to find her MySpace page, and I then I began viewing that page again and again too. Like her match.com counter, her MySpace one spiked in hits as well. While I never messaged her once, I still overstepped a boundary.

Today, she did the smart thing and shut down public access to her profiles. I have to confess that I sinned against a sister by violating her privacy and causing her grief about cyber stalking. This incident also showed me something about my character. I'm not respectful and I'm essentially creepy.

In conclusion, I ask you all: would it be appropriate for me to at least message her to confess, apologize and inform her that she doesn't have to worry about a stalker anymore?

To be honest, I still think that we could get a long. Maybe it's like one of those romantic comedies where the two people start off on a bad foot.

* * *

I'll definitely be repenting for this. Thanks for reading. I appreciate your wisdom.

Hi! It doesn't seem to me that you did anything wrong... maybe kind of stupid, because you should have contacted her, but not immoral in any way. Her profile was public, so you didn't break her privacy. And it could be just a coincidence that she made her profile private... such social networking sites are very popular, so people view each other's profiles a lot of times. I have a Myspace and I have a few thousand profile views on it, even though I don't even use it much. It's just that there are thousands of people browsing other people's profiles randomly on sites like that, and that's what makes the profile view counters to increase quickly. So one person viewing someone's profile even many times a day doesn't really influence the counter much.

I think you should contact her... and of course don't say that you've been stalking her profiles on websites, so that you don't creep her out.

 

[MicroIdiot]

Hi! It doesn't seem to me that you did anything wrong... maybe kind of stupid, because you should have contacted her, but not immoral in any way. Her profile was public, so you didn't break her privacy. And it could be just a coincidence that she made her profile private... such social networking sites are very popular, so people view each other's profiles a lot of times. I have a Myspace and I have a few thousand profile views on it, even though I don't even use it much. It's just that there are thousands of people browsing other people's profiles randomly on sites like that, and that's what makes the profile view counters to increase quickly. So one person viewing someone's profile even many times a day doesn't really influence the counter much.

I think you should contact her... and of course don't say that you've been stalking her profiles on websites, so that you don't creep her out.

Thanks for that. Some people have told me that what I did was driven by excitement and infatuation rather than creepiness, and in my heart, I agree. (Surely, we can all remember a time when we clipped out a photo of a movie star or taped a poster to our wall.)

I got worked up because I'm truly attracted to this person -- which happens rarely for me -- and I didn't want to squander the opportunity. I'm still going to contact her.

 

[joyouspirit]

I've heard that if you make so many "hits" on a site within a single timeframe it's automatically considered cyber-stalking.

I heard about a guy who made 10,000 hits within a 90 day period. Five minutes later, the cops were at his door. They handcuffed him and took him to the police station to make a report.

I hope this is based from facts.

 

[*Starlight*]

Thanks for that. Some people have told me that what I did was driven by excitement and infatuation rather than creepiness, and in my heart, I agree. (Surely, we can all remember a time when we clipped out a photo of a movie star or taped a poster to our wall.)

I got worked up because I'm truly attracted to this person -- which happens rarely for me -- and I didn't want to squander the opportunity. I'm still going to contact her.

That's cool, I hope she likes you too and you'll be happy together

 

[*Starlight*]

I hope this is based from facts.

I hope it's not... if it's true that people can go to jail just for browsing social networking sites too much, then the laws are totally crazy and scary.

 

[Peacemonger]

I've heard that if you make so many "hits" on a site within a single timeframe it's automatically considered cyber-stalking.

I heard about a guy who made 10,000 hits within a 90 day period. Five minutes later, the cops were at his door. They handcuffed him and took him to the police station to make a report.

I hope this is based from facts.

I hope it's not... if it's true that people can go to jail just for browsing social networking sites too much, then the laws are totally crazy and scary.

You two are totally buying into radhead's sarcasm. LOL. I think if you hold Ctrl + W a secret message ("elbillug" spelled backwards) will appear on your screen!!!


Anyways, I think the OP should apologize to the girl in person. Everything is more genuine and heartfelt when expressed face-to-face since there's more of a connection, you know? And if you want even more points with this hot chick, apologize to her father face-to-face too.

Not trying to be mean.....but this post REALLY freaks me out!
I've been on Match a while back.....and don't ever think I'll put a profile on it again......because I really wouldn't want some guy just checking out my profile and reading my answers over and over again. I guess, those are the chances a person takes by putting a profile in public, but the intention for most people to do the on-line dating is to hopefully meet a nice guy to date, start a relationship with.

But, if there are other guys that do what you did......I won't be doing it again.

Again, I know you're repentant....so forgive me, if I offend you by saying this.

And to my dearest HopeFaithLove4U:

Honey, you really should have mentioned this MUCH earlier before I obtained your social security number. I opened up some accounts so I could stash away some money for our wedding! I'm so excited!

I love the color of your bedroom walls, and I looked in your fridge when you were out and I must say baby, you eat very healthy. No wonder you look so young and fit.

I just didn't know you were against all this stuff darling. I can't read your mind! You need to tell me that you're not ok with me looking you up! I'm only doing it to save time honey. I thought you loved me?

Yours forever,
Peacemonger

 

[Salazar35]

You gotta be cool man. Relax and be smooth without forcing anything. and dont tell her your whole stalker story LOL.. though I do admire you for wanting to come clean, but some things are better left unsaid. good luck with contacting her and let us know how it goes.

 

[Inkachu]

Hey brothers and sisters, I have an unfortunate story that should serve as a warning for those who use online social networks.

Last week, I joined match.com and found a girl that I was interested in within five minutes of creating my profile. Judging from her profile, we had lots in common and most important, she was Christian. Excited by the prospect, I added her to my "favorite" list, and this is where I started making mistakes -- and sinning.

For the next few days, I had too much free time, and I compulsively viewed her profile over and over, browsing her photos and re-reading her answers. While I never contacted her, she knew that something was amiss because her profile counter showed that some creep (me) was obsessively checking her page, literally every hour.

I wish it ended there, but it doesn't. I used some information from her match.com profile to find her MySpace page, and I then I began viewing that page again and again too. Like her match.com counter, her MySpace one spiked in hits as well. While I never messaged her once, I still overstepped a boundary.

Today, she did the smart thing and shut down public access to her profiles. I have to confess that I sinned against a sister by violating her privacy and causing her grief about cyber stalking. This incident also showed me something about my character. I'm not respectful and I'm essentially creepy.

In conclusion, I ask you all: would it be appropriate for me to at least message her to confess, apologize and inform her that she doesn't have to worry about a stalker anymore?

To be honest, I still think that we could get a long. Maybe it's like one of those romantic comedies where the two people start off on a bad foot.

* * *

I'll definitely be repenting for this. Thanks for reading. I appreciate your wisdom.

NO. Leave her alone. You've shown you cannot control yourself and I'd be scared of you if I were her.

Do not contact her. If you did that to me I'd be ready to call the cops if you tried to keep in touch with me.