I cyber stalked my match. I'm an idiot!

[MicroIdiot]

Hey brothers and sisters, I have an unfortunate story that should serve as a warning for those who use online social networks.

Last week, I joined match.com and found a girl that I was interested in within five minutes of creating my profile. Judging from her profile, we had lots in common and most important, she was Christian. Excited by the prospect, I added her to my "favorite" list, and this is where I started making mistakes -- and sinning.

For the next few days, I had too much free time, and I compulsively viewed her profile over and over, browsing her photos and re-reading her answers. While I never contacted her, she knew that something was amiss because her profile counter showed that some creep (me) was obsessively checking her page, literally every hour.

I wish it ended there, but it doesn't. I used some information from her match.com profile to find her MySpace page, and I then I began viewing that page again and again too. Like her match.com counter, her MySpace one spiked in hits as well. While I never messaged her once, I still overstepped a boundary.

Today, she did the smart thing and shut down public access to her profiles. I have to confess that I sinned against a sister by violating her privacy and causing her grief about cyber stalking. This incident also showed me something about my character. I'm not respectful and I'm essentially creepy.

In conclusion, I ask you all: would it be appropriate for me to at least message her to confess, apologize and inform her that she doesn't have to worry about a stalker anymore?

To be honest, I still think that we could get a long. Maybe it's like one of those romantic comedies where the two people start off on a bad foot.

* * *

I'll definitely be repenting for this. Thanks for reading. I appreciate your wisdom.

 

[kingoffools13]

well admitting you have a problem is supposedly the first step ... as you already admitted thats a bit creepy ... I'd say just drop it. Step back and let her get on with her life on her own, you cant fix her problems (like making her feel better about this) especially when you caused it.

take it as a lesson for next time (as you seem to be doing) and perhaps get someone to keep you in check for cyber or real life stalking, because its unhealthy.

K
O
f

and next time send a message sooner, its not stalking if you actually get to talk to someone who may wanna talk back to you.

 

[Im_A]

Hey brothers and sisters, I have an unfortunate story that should serve as a warning for those who use online social networks.

Last week, I joined match.com and found a girl that I was interested in within five minutes of creating my profile. Judging from her profile, we had lots in common and most important, she was Christian. Excited by the prospect, I added her to my "favorite" list, and this is where I started making mistakes -- and sinning.

For the next few days, I had too much free time, and I compulsively viewed her profile over and over, browsing her photos and re-reading her answers. While I never contacted her, she knew that something was amiss because her profile counter showed that some creep (me) was obsessively checking her page, literally every hour.

I wish it ended there, but it doesn't. I used some information from her match.com profile to find her MySpace page, and I then I began viewing that page again and again too. Like her match.com counter, her MySpace one spiked in hits as well. While I never messaged her once, I still overstepped a boundary.

Today, she did the smart thing and shut down public access to her profiles. I have to confess that I sinned against a sister by violating her privacy and causing her grief about cyber stalking. This incident also showed me something about my character. I'm not respectful and I'm essentially creepy.

In conclusion, I ask you all: should I cease and desist all activity, or would it be appropriate for me to at least message her to confess, apologize and inform her that she doesn't have to worry about a stalker anymore?



* * *

I'll definitely be repenting for this. Thanks for reading. I appreciate your wisdom.

does she know it was you? if she knows it was you, then apologize. but if she doesn't, don't risk putting yourself in the same situation ot failing again and do what you did before. as long as she doesn't know you i would say cease your actions.

To be honest, I still think that we could get a long.

every stalker thinks they can get along with their prey!

 

[BoarderDave]

Yeah.. I think you should turn around and walk away.. let that one go. Learn from your mistakes.. next time just toss a message in, "Hey, saw you, looks like we have a lot in common, let's chat, yeah?"

She is on match.com. Obviously she is looking to find a match or someone to chat with.

 

[MicroIdiot]

does she know it was you? if she knows it was you, then apologize. but if she doesn't, don't risk putting yourself in the same situation ot failing again and do what you did before. as long as she doesn't know you i would say cease your actions.

One of the problems is I'm not sure if she knows that I did it. Maybe she knows my match.com profile, or maybe she only knows that someone out there is driving up the hit counter.

 

[alfrodull]

Honestly, I don't think just looking up her other profile qualified as cyberstalking. You looked at PUBLIC profiles, located with information SHE provided. If she didn't want people to see what was posted on these sites, that's her own stupidity.

Your motives probably weren't exactly pure while you were doing all this, but that's a different issue...

 

[latteda]

Whoops.

Leave her alone.

 

[Im_A]

Hey brothers and sisters, I have an unfortunate story that should serve as a warning for those who use online social networks.

Last week, I joined match.com and found a girl that I was interested in within five minutes of creating my profile. Judging from her profile, we had lots in common and most important, she was Christian. Excited by the prospect, I added her to my "favorite" list, and this is where I started making mistakes -- and sinning.

For the next few days, I had too much free time, and I compulsively viewed her profile over and over, browsing her photos and re-reading her answers. While I never contacted her, she knew that something was amiss because her profile counter showed that some creep (me) was obsessively checking her page, literally every hour.

I wish it ended there, but it doesn't. I used some information from her match.com profile to find her MySpace page, and I then I began viewing that page again and again too. Like her match.com counter, her MySpace one spiked in hits as well. While I never messaged her once, I still overstepped a boundary.

Today, she did the smart thing and shut down public access to her profiles. I have to confess that I sinned against a sister by violating her privacy and causing her grief about cyber stalking. This incident also showed me something about my character. I'm not respectful and I'm essentially creepy.

In conclusion, I ask you all: would it be appropriate for me to at least message her to confess, apologize and inform her that she doesn't have to worry about a stalker anymore?

To be honest, I still think that we could get a long. Maybe it's like one of those romantic comedies where the two people start off on a bad foot.

* * *

I'll definitely be repenting for this. Thanks for reading. I appreciate your wisdom.

One of the problems is I'm not sure if she knows that I did it. Maybe she knows my match.com profile, or maybe she only knows that someone out there is driving up the hit counter.

why didn't you just message her if you were really interested in her?

i'd just be careful tho. i mean if your saying to us you have a problem, don't you think your exscusing yourself to continue the problem you admitted?

 

[mina]

i wouldn't really say that was stalking. It's not like you found out where she lived and worked and drove past those places. As long as she doesn't know it's you, contact her the normal way and stay normal and not obsessive.

 

[MicroIdiot]

why didn't you just message her if you were really interested in her?

i'd just be careful tho. i mean if your saying to us you have a problem, don't you think your exscusing yourself to continue the problem you admitted?

I think this was more of a mistake than a personal problem, because I was actually planning on sending her a message, but I needed to wait for match.com to approve my profile -- since I didn't want a blank page.

 

[Deliberatetourist]

How were you sinning? You were simply accessing personal information made avaiable on a website. I know that there are differing opinions but when you put your info out there for the world to see then the world certainly can see it. I've seldom read anything good about match.com and I ave heard that lots of women get harassed on there. But still if she doesn't know it was you then how does she know it was not a flood of guys checking her out?
I don't see anything wrong with using the info to find her myspace page.
I think you are over reacting but as another poster siad, why don't you just message her? If she's so uptite that she has to hide all her info then I would ask why she put it out there in the first place?

 

[Alphawolf]

Confession time. I joined personals.yahoo.com, and I saw this awesome gal. I tried to IM her to see what was up, but I realized I needed to pay to do it. So, I tried alternate routs. I tried facebook and myspace.... After a couple hours, I realized I was getting obsessive, and this was unhealthy.

I don't think the whole online dating thing is for me. I may be shy irl, but I'd rather meet someone there instead of on the internet. Have patience on GOD

Also, this post made me start listening to "Mr. Lonely"... you **** <3

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

Hey brothers and sisters, I have an unfortunate story that should serve as a warning for those who use online social networks.

Last week, I joined match.com and found a girl that I was interested in within five minutes of creating my profile. Judging from her profile, we had lots in common and most important, she was Christian. Excited by the prospect, I added her to my "favorite" list, and this is where I started making mistakes -- and sinning.

For the next few days, I had too much free time, and I compulsively viewed her profile over and over, browsing her photos and re-reading her answers. While I never contacted her, she knew that something was amiss because her profile counter showed that some creep (me) was obsessively checking her page, literally every hour.

I wish it ended there, but it doesn't. I used some information from her match.com profile to find her MySpace page, and I then I began viewing that page again and again too. Like her match.com counter, her MySpace one spiked in hits as well. While I never messaged her once, I still overstepped a boundary.

Today, she did the smart thing and shut down public access to her profiles. I have to confess that I sinned against a sister by violating her privacy and causing her grief about cyber stalking. This incident also showed me something about my character. I'm not respectful and I'm essentially creepy.

In conclusion, I ask you all: would it be appropriate for me to at least message her to confess, apologize and inform her that she doesn't have to worry about a stalker anymore?

To be honest, I still think that we could get a long. Maybe it's like one of those romantic comedies where the two people start off on a bad foot.

* * *

I'll definitely be repenting for this. Thanks for reading. I appreciate your wisdom.

Not trying to be mean.....but this post REALLY freaks me out!
I've been on Match a while back.....and don't ever think I'll put a profile on it again......because I really wouldn't want some guy just checking out my profile and reading my answers over and over again. I guess, those are the chances a person takes by putting a profile in public, but the intention for most people to do the on-line dating is to hopefully meet a nice guy to date, start a relationship with.

But, if there are other guys that do what you did......I won't be doing it again.

Again, I know you're repentant....so forgive me, if I offend you by saying this.

One of the problems is I'm not sure if she knows that I did it. Maybe she knows my match.com profile, or maybe she only knows that someone out there is driving up the hit counter.

And yes, people know who checks them out, unless the profile is hidden, so she prolly saw how many times she's been viewed and saw your profile keep coming up on the "who's viewed me" section.

Prolly better NOT to apologize and move on.

 

[MicroIdiot]

I'm just going to be honest about it because I don't want to have a regret about never taking a risk. I don't want to be another single Christian who complains about singleness but never takes any chances.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

There are obviously guys who have done what I did. And there are definitely guys who have done much worse -- sending lewd messages and photos.

You say you were on match.com "a while back," but you come off as very naive about online networks if you think that this has never happened before.

I think it's interesting that this is your first posts on here...and I also find it interesting that you are so defensive when someone is actually AGREEING with you and saying that what you did IS creepy...So are you really repentent about what you did or just looking for justification and people to say that what you did wasn't so bad?

 

[MicroIdiot]

I think it's interesting that this is your first posts on here...and I also find it interesting that you are so defensive when someone is actually AGREEING with you and saying that what you did IS creepy...So are you really repentent about what you did or just looking for justification and people to say that what you did wasn't so bad?

I actually just edited and retracted that post. I apologize for that reaction, which was not made out of love.

I appreciate all the input, and HopeFaithLove4U makes a good point that I don't want to overlook out of defensiveness.

Peace!

 

[SonicBOOM]

your making a big deal out of this man, just let it go and don't bug her again so a girl shut you out.... big deal man! I'm not saying your actions were right..... but what I am saying is that your making this a bigger deal than it is.

 

[RosaVernal]

*shrugs*

Nothing wrong with it as far as I'm concerned. I Google pretty much everyone.

If someone has a digital ID, I'll find them. Why? Because if they're my friend or if I'm dating/going to date them, I want to know about them and I also want to know what can come back and bite me in the butt.

*shrugs*

 

[Tinkerbell33]

I actually just edited and retracted that post. I apologize for that reaction, which was not made out of love.

I appreciate all the input, and HopeFaithLove4U makes a good point that I don't want to overlook out of defensiveness.

Peace!

Aplogizing like that is really mature, .

I don't see what you did as stalking really, but probably a bit too obsessive since you didn't really know this woman that much.

 

[joyouspirit]

When I was in e- harmony, I did check profiles but that's part of it. I don't know, but does match.com shows how many views you have on your profile?

Now you allow public access to your profile, so why would it bother her or you or anybody. Anything about you that you put in the internet is for public access.

I do that, reading and reading their responses maybe overanalyzing details and looking for things I miss the first time I read someone's answer.

I agree with Masked_chris, it is no big of a deal as one of my friends say. Just let it go. You just overdid it, sinning? I don't think so, you just got too eager, assuming this is your first time dating online.

God bless!!!