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I could use some advice

Beneathgreyblues

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Hi,

I'm new and I'm here to ask for some advice or just perspective.
Now to give you context I have to assert that I am a Christian whose "walk" with Christ being more characteristical of a crawl.
I have know a wide repertoire of sin and I approach any situation mindful that I have the answer to the problems of this world but I am by no means a champion of Christianity... I deliberately avoid speaking like I know everything and despite being raised in the church I am merely a seeker of God's truth not the coauthor of it.
Tact seems to be dismissed by some when they possess a ongoing understanding of Christ and how we all fit into this world.

That being said more recently then I'm comfortable to admit I let the indiscretions of a person I loved who claimed to desire a relationship with God wound me and I allowed my humanity to supersede God's truth and I turned my back on the church.
Dark was my season of discontent however I had a family member whose pretty much akin to a sister usher me back into the light of a relationship with Christ.
I am far from perfect... I suspect I'll always just be a student of the Bible and its truths.

Now being as I am a male I assure you I assume no understanding of what woman have to endure under the scrutiny of society.
That being said, recently my cousin who I mentioned briefly as the family member who opened my eyes to how I was foolishly blaming God for the mistakes of someone I was vulnerable with because I believed her to know Christ and subsequently want a relationship with a foundation in God.
So this cousin... shes human we all are.
However, I'm struggling with a recent discussion we had that because she expressed a belief in something I don't understand.
Its herein I require some perspective.
Namely, my cousin struggles with her physical image... its not uncommon amongst women and girls in times such as these... attractiveness has been distorted by sex appeal... since I grew up closesly with her, so close I've always considered her a sister rather then merely a cousin.
I was witness to how this fun loving pretty little girl blossomed into a independant smart God fearing woman.
It was during this transition from girl to woman that I noticed her take on a image of a woman who began to wear clothing accentuating her womanly features... I made no attempt to ask or discuss why... I was uncomfortable with the implications of why she would desire the attention such attire draws.
More recently she divulged to me that she isnt happy with her body image... which I assure you is ludacris because shes rather attractive even without the aforementioned wardrobe... no its not me being peculiar its fact I've even had guys approach me -when they discover our relationship-, to ask about her.
Again shes like my sister so I'll just uncomfortably assert that she is attractive without unnecessary assurance.
This isn't my problem.
I am quite aware of this inadequacy that women are susceptible to because of societies influence.
I don't presume some superior understanding I am just aware of it.
Since she told me, my love for her as a friend, cousin and even surrogate brother has compelled me to find moments where she can stop being concious of her inadequacies because I know its beyond my fixing... I can just love her through it and trust God will help her resolve these feelings of invalidity.

So... now that I've did my best to avoid any misunderstandings, my reason for bringing it to you as my fellow Christians is this...
Recently we had a discussion about body enhancement surgery and her argument shocked me because we have had long conversations about surgery as a means of deriving confidence... misguided or not thats not the topic of this thread.
What is, is that during our discussion my cousin told me she felt brest implants were ok.... I'm not here to argue their evils or benefits.
What troubled me was she tried to tell me that its ok because Adam and Eve were beautiful for alot longer because of the Bible indicated they lived longer then modern people so surgery was ok as a means of remaining beautiful longer... particularly for women and particularly women whose age and factors like nursing might have left ones body changed from ones younger days.
In this statement I found issue not because God's commandments encompassed "Thou shall not use surgery" but merely that I feel she made reparations to a belief she held that she derived from the Bible to justify in her concience a surgery she would consider getting to cling to beauty that inevitably fades.
We argued and I resolved to just not agree without either party necessarily being wrong.
Furthermore given the unresolved nature of our discussion I'd like to say any perspective I gain from the ensuing discussion in this thread is not going to be used against her as after the hung verdict of our discussion I realised love is paramount and apologised to her for potentially sounding self righteous because its not for me to judge and although I maintain God values you unchanged from how he made you I know he wouldn't abandon you.
However this thread is for my understanding and to discuss a prevailing trend with Chriatian's (I'm even guilty of this) where people potentially distort the Bible to justify things that are of this world and how it is not harmful not just to ones relationship with God but peoples views of themselves.
I just need Biblical clarity on a subject that is delicate but ultimately not promoted by the Bible or Gods word therein.
Vanity is a fickle thing particularly in North America where years of assimilation between sexual attraction and overall attraction have become diluted and merged.
Where body image has become directly associated with ones self worth by many women and men alike.
I truly believe vanity is coming between us and a himble heart
 
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Dave G.

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Hello and welcome.

It would have been much easier to just pose the question: my female cousin wants breast implants. Is this doctrinally sound ?

My answer would be that she won't go to hell over it but it's also unnecessary. It's a self esteem thing which has no value in God's economy. Seek Jesus , praise God, believe and trust in times of need, in fact at all times and be about His business. Those are things that glorify God.
 
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Beneathgreyblues

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Oversimplified.
Unadjusted for how complicated life is.
I value your response, albeit short as it was.
I know the bible's stance on the matter she just seems to interpet it differently.
I was hoping for a compelling discussion of why this is contrary to how God would want you to value yourself.
No offense but its like someone asking "Why shouldnt I get a sex change?" And being met with the response "Because Jesus says its bad".
I took my most precious resource (time) to write this in its length because she means something to me and by extension this topic means something to me.
I needed anyone who responded to understand the depth with which I pondered this...
 
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Presbyterian Continuist

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Hi,

I'm new and I'm here to ask for some advice or just perspective.
Now to give you context I have to assert that I am a Christian whose "walk" with Christ being more characteristical of a crawl.
I have know a wide repertoire of sin and I approach any situation mindful that I have the answer to the problems of this world but I am by no means a champion of Christianity... I deliberately avoid speaking like I know everything and despite being raised in the church I am merely a seeker of God's truth not the coauthor of it.
Tact seems to be dismissed by some when they possess a ongoing understanding of Christ and how we all fit into this world.

That being said more recently then I'm comfortable to admit I let the indiscretions of a person I loved who claimed to desire a relationship with God wound me and I allowed my humanity to supersede God's truth and I turned my back on the church.
Dark was my season of discontent however I had a family member whose pretty much akin to a sister usher me back into the light of a relationship with Christ.
I am far from perfect... I suspect I'll always just be a student of the Bible and its truths.

Now being as I am a male I assure you I assume no understanding of what woman have to endure under the scrutiny of society.
That being said, recently my cousin who I mentioned briefly as the family member who opened my eyes to how I was foolishly blaming God for the mistakes of someone I was vulnerable with because I believed her to know Christ and subsequently want a relationship with a foundation in God.
So this cousin... shes human we all are.
However, I'm struggling with a recent discussion we had that because she expressed a belief in something I don't understand.
Its herein I require some perspective.
Namely, my cousin struggles with her physical image... its not uncommon amongst women and girls in times such as these... attractiveness has been distorted by sex appeal... since I grew up closesly with her, so close I've always considered her a sister rather then merely a cousin.
I was witness to how this fun loving pretty little girl blossomed into a independant smart God fearing woman.
It was during this transition from girl to woman that I noticed her take on a image of a woman who began to wear clothing accentuating her womanly features... I made no attempt to ask or discuss why... I was uncomfortable with the implications of why she would desire the attention such attire draws.
More recently she divulged to me that she isnt happy with her body image... which I assure you is ludacris because shes rather attractive even without the aforementioned wardrobe... no its not me being peculiar its fact I've even had guys approach me -when they discover our relationship-, to ask about her.
Again shes like my sister so I'll just uncomfortably assert that she is attractive without unnecessary assurance.
This isn't my problem.
I am quite aware of this inadequacy that women are susceptible to because of societies influence.
I don't presume some superior understanding I am just aware of it.
Since she told me, my love for her as a friend, cousin and even surrogate brother has compelled me to find moments where she can stop being concious of her inadequacies because I know its beyond my fixing... I can just love her through it and trust God will help her resolve these feelings of invalidity.

So... now that I've did my best to avoid any misunderstandings, my reason for bringing it to you as my fellow Christians is this...
Recently we had a discussion about body enhancement surgery and her argument shocked me because we have had long conversations about surgery as a means of deriving confidence... misguided or not thats not the topic of this thread.
What is, is that during our discussion my cousin told me she felt brest implants were ok.... I'm not here to argue their evils or benefits.
What troubled me was she tried to tell me that its ok because Adam and Eve were beautiful for alot longer because of the Bible indicated they lived longer then modern people so surgery was ok as a means of remaining beautiful longer... particularly for women and particularly women whose age and factors like nursing might have left ones body changed from ones younger days.
In this statement I found issue not because God's commandments encompassed "Thou shall not use surgery" but merely that I feel she made reparations to a belief she held that she derived from the Bible to justify in her concience a surgery she would consider getting to cling to beauty that inevitably fades.
We argued and I resolved to just not agree without either party necessarily being wrong.
Furthermore given the unresolved nature of our discussion I'd like to say any perspective I gain from the ensuing discussion in this thread is not going to be used against her as after the hung verdict of our discussion I realised love is paramount and apologised to her for potentially sounding self righteous because its not for me to judge and although I maintain God values you unchanged from how he made you I know he wouldn't abandon you.
However this thread is for my understanding and to discuss a prevailing trend with Chriatian's (I'm even guilty of this) where people potentially distort the Bible to justify things that are of this world and how it is not harmful not just to ones relationship with God but peoples views of themselves.
I just need Biblical clarity on a subject that is delicate but ultimately not promoted by the Bible or Gods word therein.
Vanity is a fickle thing particularly in North America where years of assimilation between sexual attraction and overall attraction have become diluted and merged.
Where body image has become directly associated with ones self worth by many women and men alike.
I truly believe vanity is coming between us and a humble heart
The short answer is that there are Christians who have much grace, and there are those who have little grace. But in both cases, they have grace. And there is a vast difference between a person who has just a little grace and one who has no grace at all. Even if there is just a little spark of grace in a believer's heart, Jesus can fan that little spark into a flame and increase that grace through the power of the Holy Spirit inside of the believer.

A believer with little grace, has the very big Holy Spirit living in them, and the person with the large grace has the same very big Holy Spirit living in them, so Jesus is not worried about the person with the little grace, because He can make them better.
 
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Darkhorse

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This may also be "oversimplified", but here goes:

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. (1 Peter 3:3-4)

Maybe she could understand a generalization of this idea, from hairstyles, jewelry, and clothes, to anything which emphasizes physical appearance over inner spiritual qualities. A person with the proper spiritual outlook will remain "beautiful" regardless of how old she becomes or how her body changes - at least to a person with spiritual discernment.
 
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Dave G.

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Oversimplified.
Unadjusted for how complicated life is.
I value your response, albeit short as it was.
I know the bible's stance on the matter she just seems to interpet it differently.
I was hoping for a compelling discussion of why this is contrary to how God would want you to value yourself.
No offense but its like someone asking "Why shouldnt I get a sex change?" And being met with the response "Because Jesus says its bad".
I took my most precious resource (time) to write this in its length because she means something to me and by extension this topic means something to me.
I needed anyone who responded to understand the depth with which I pondered this...
Many many things can be said right now but the reality of it is they don't need to be said ( I hope). Matthew 22 comes to mind where Jesus reduced the 600 and some odd Jewish laws, not just the 10 commandments, down to 1 and then 2. In just a few words He made His command :
Matthew 22:37-40 New International Version (NIV)
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’a]">[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’b]">[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Love your cousin, console your cousin and pray that God meets her in this.
 
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ilovejcsog

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Wow, I love the way you write. You must be a writer. Your essay reminds me of the joke about building a watch. I can't say what God would think about it and I don't recall anything that directly addresses it other than vanity. I wonder why, since you care so much about her, you don't tell her how attractive you think she is. Her needing to change her appearance is telling as to her feelings about her looks. Maybe if she is convinced of her beauty she will realize she doesn't need to make changes like that. And of course there is always the reminder of inner beauty being more important. I would say that if she isn't a vane person and it wouldn't change her in that respect, why not? JMHO.
 
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ilovejcsog

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Hello and welcome.

It would have been much easier to just pose the question: my female cousin wants breast implants. Is this doctrinally sound ?

My answer would be that she won't go to hell over it but it's also unnecessary. It's a self esteem thing which has no value in God's economy. Seek Jesus , praise God, believe and trust in times of need, in fact at all times and be about His business. Those are things that glorify God.

lol, I think we all agree with your first paragraph but I sure enjoyed his post. I hope he is a writer. It would be a shame for that to be lost. He could easily write a book:) What a gift!
 
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