Yeah, I went through a time where I felt I could not trust God, but you know what I did? I prayed and asked God to show me why I was feeling this way and how I could become stronger.
What makes you think that He is not with you right now?
Don't stop. You are confused with your feelings, but God is always there. When these feelings pass, God will still be there.
That is a really tough one, I'm sorry for you and what you're going through. Not only is it tough to have your faith shaken like that it's really tough to have you faith in your dad shaken. I can tell you I know what you're going through. There was a man that was like a father to me and when I say this my father died when I was 15 and I met him when I was 18. He was a leader in my church and he brought me into church and guided me, before that I was completely against church. I found out later that he was inappropriate to a much worse degree than just watching something on his phone and it shook me to my core. What I can tell you is this dear child, first of all even though it's really hard right now the best thing you can do is try to forgive you father because even though what he did was wrong it is between him and your mother and it will come out if it hasn't already. Second you need to talk with him about it and tell him how you feel and what it has done to you spiritually, he not only is you father and it is his job to make sure you're ok and this has hurt you but he is and has been your spiritual leader and since you are now labelling yourself agnostic this has made you question everything so not only is your soul at risk but his as well for he has sinned and also caused you to. Thirdly remember my friend he is just a man and even though this is really hard to hear because he has done your mother very wrong all men sin and do wrong, the are tempted and fail. Only one man was ever perfect because he was God and even he said the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak so all people have to be cut some slack, every person in every church has done something wrong many times in their lives. It may not have been the same thing at all but it may help you to think that even you mom has done something (maybe it might help you to think that she spits in your dads coffee lol). I really hope something in hear helps you, again we all fall down many times, Jesus forgives and picks us back up, it all depends on if we keep doing it and hopefully your dad doesn't. Please consider starting to believe again God is still the same and has not failed you even though man always will. I really hope you can patch things up with your dad. God bless you Dear friend I'll keep you in my prayers. Good luck in School.
